


Adolescence: Act 1

by SelenaEstella



Series: Adolescence [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: (some) Ableist Language, Adding Tags As I Think Of Them, Alternia, Ashen Romance | Auspistice, Blood, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Heavily Edited, Multi, Other, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Post-Game AU, Post-Sgrub AU, Rare Pairings, Relationship Shenanigans, Teen Angst, Teenagers, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-15
Updated: 2014-07-09
Packaged: 2017-11-29 09:52:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 60
Words: 85,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/685621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SelenaEstella/pseuds/SelenaEstella
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They won the game, won their planet back, and then things were fine. Or at least, things seemed fine long enough to trick everyone into <i>thinking</i> that they were...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. > Reader: Regard interesting text.

> Reader: Regard interesting text.

  
Why, hello there. It's been a while, hasn't it?

  
My name? Who am I? Oh, you don't need to know that. In fact, I wouldn't say you really need to know anything yet. Just have a quick look at this incredibly interesting chat log:

  
CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG] RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW opened memo on board FOR EVERY ASSHOLE.

CCG: OK WHAT  
CCG: I DON'T EVEN  
CCG: *FUCK*  
CCG: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?  
CCG: BECAUSE I SURE AS HELL AM *NOT* IN THE VEIL.  
CCG: OR ON LOPAH.  
CCG: I AM IN MY HIVE.  
CCG: SGRUB DID HAPPEN RIGHT?  
CURRENT gallowsCalibrator [CGC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.  
CGC: Y3S, K4RKL3S, 1T D1D  
CGC: TH3R3 1S NO N33D TO FR34K OUT 4BOUT 1T QU1T3 SO MUCH  
CCG: WHAT THE FUCK?  
CCG: NO NEED?????????????  
CGC: S1GH  
CGC: YOU H4V3 DON3 SUCH 4 BR1LL14NT JOB OF FORG3TTING Y3ST3RN1GHT  
CGC: 1 F33L 4S 1F 1 SHOULD COMM3ND YOU FOR 1T  
CCG: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ON ABOUT?  
CURRENT twinArmageddons [CTW] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.  
CTA: w0w KK.  
CTA: i seri0usly didn't think y0u'd flip 0ut quite that quickly.  
CTA: 0r unnecessarily.  
CTA: but i can’t say i’m surprised you’re flipping 0ut i did expect that.  
CCG: OK WHAT  
CCG: I SENSE THAT I AM MISSING SOMETHING HUGE HERE.  
CTA: we're alive, KK.  
CTA: we beat the game and we're back 0n 0ur planet.  
CTA: i'm still eyeless and t00thless th0ugh.  
CURRENT centaursTesticle [CCT] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.  
CTA: but i can’t say i mind.  
CCT: D --> We are all here, Vantas  
CCG: BUT  
CCG: I  
CCG: YOU'RE DEAD!  
CCT: D --> I was  
CURRENT arsenicCatnip [CAC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.  
CAC: :33 < we're ALIVE! :33  
CAC: :33 < actually being dead wasnt all that bad i guess but im still happy!  
CCG: PLEASE CAN I NOT BE THE ONLY ONE FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS.  
CCG: PLEASE CAN I NOT BE THE ONLY ONE WHO SEES SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS SITUATION!  
CCG: WHAT DID WE EVEN DO? ALL I REMEMBER IS LIGHT AND THEN I WAS IN MY RECUPERACOON LIKE NOTHING HAD EVER EVEN HAPPENED!  
CURRENT terminallyCapricious [CTC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.  
CTC: uhh  
CTC: hi guys  
CCG: GAMZEE!  
CCG: I NEVER THOUGHT I'D BE SO GLAD TO SEE YOUR OBNOXIOUS SHADE OF PURPLE TEXT.  
CCG: *PLEASE* CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?  
CTC: we beat the motherfucking game, bro.  
CTC: WE MOTHERFUCKING BEAT IT.  
CCG: HOW?  
CAC: :33 < um  
CAC: :33 < is this  
CAC: :33 < is this ok?  
CCG: GAMZEE IS COOL NOW.  
CCG: BESIDES THAT'S NOT THE POINT.  
CURRENT cuttlefishCuller [CC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.  
CCC: We beat Lord Englis)( guys!  
CCC: Glub glub glub! 38D  
CCG: GREAT.  
CCG: WOULD SOMEBODY CARE TO EXPLAIN *HOW*?  
CURRENT arachnidsGrip [AG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.  
CAG: You know, I think I might actually I agree with Karkat on this one.  
CAG: This all seems waaaaaaaay too simple.  
CCG: WOW.  
CCG: FINALLY, A VOICE OF REASON.  
CCG: EVEN IF IT IS FROM SPIDER BITCH HERE.  
CAG: Wow thanks.  
CTA: d0es it really matter?  
CTA: pers0nally i'm just glad we're all s0meh0w alive.  
CCG: YIPPEE FOR YOU.  
CCG: THERE IS SERIOUSLY SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS SITUATION.  
CCG: I MEAN COME ON  
CCG: THIS IS IT? IT'S OVER? WE BEAT THE GODDAMN APOCALYPSE AND TWO SORTS OF OF OMNIPOTENT GODS OF WHATEVER AND NOW IT'S JUST LIKE, 'WELL DONE! NOW SCURRY BACK HOME LIKE NOTHING EVER EVEN HAPPENED!'??  
CCG: IS THAT REALLY WHAT IT IS??  
CTA: l00ks like it. i mean figuratively.  
CCG: HA.  
CCG: HA.  
CCG: MY LUSUS ISN'T BACK, EITHER.  
CCG: HIS CORPSE ISN'T JUST LYING AROUND BUT I'M PRETTY SURE HE'S STILL DEAD.  
CTA: same here, n0w that y0u menti0n it.  
CCG: 'NOW THAT I MENTION IT'.  
CCG: WHAT IS *WRONG* WITH YOU?  
CGC: 4LL OUR LUS1 4R3 ST1LL D34D, 1 TH1NK  
CCC: 1 CH3CK3D TH3 SC4L3S TH1S 3V3N1NG 4ND THEY 4R3 ST1LL TH3R3, THOUGH TH3R3 1SNT 4NYTH1NG ON 31TH3R OF TH3M  
CCC: my lusus isn't around --EITHER  
CCC: i don't know w)(et)(er to be sad or glad 38/  
CCG: OK SO WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?  
CCG: AND CHOOSE GLAD. THAT’S ONE THREAT OVER AND DONE WITH AT LEAST.  
CAG: WE DON'T KNOW, KARKAT!  
CAG: I'm finding this pretty frustr8ting as well.  
CCG: THAT AND HOW COME EVERYONE SEEMS TO KNOW SO MUCH MORE THAN ME?  
CCG: OR AT LEAST BE MORE USED TO THE SITUATION!  
CAG: Oh my god, Karkat, you seriously don't remem8er????????  
CCG: REMEMBER *WHAT*?  
CAG: Well, I guess I can't really 8lame you hahahahahahahaha!  
CCG: SWEET HOLY JEGUS, WHAT INCREDIBLY EMBARRASSING AND UN-LEADER-LIKE THING HAVE I DONE *NOW*?  
CGC: YOU TOOK ON3 LOOK 4T 3V3RYON3 TH3R3  
CGC: 4L1V3  
CGC: 4ND K33L3D OV3R 1N 4 D34D F41NT  
CCG: FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.  
CGC: H3H3H3H3H3H! >:D  
CAC: :33 < you were really tired karkitty!  
CAC: :33 < you hadnt slept fur ages!  
CAC: :33 < i think you just pawsed out from exhaustion  
CGC: STOP M4K1NG 3XCUS3S FOR H1M!  
CGC: 1T W4S H4L4R1OUS!  
CAC: :33 < but you were really worried too GC!  
CGC: 4H3M  
CGC: 1 THOUGHT  
CGC: W3 H4D 4GR33D NOT TO M3NT1ON TH4T?  
CAC: :33 < oops!  
CAC: :33 < sorry!  
CCG: OK, YOU KNOW WHAT?  
CCG: I DO *NOT* WANT TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON BETWEEN YOU TWO, OR HOW IT INVOLVES ME, OR ANY OF THE DISGUSTING BULLSHIT THE TOW OF YOU COULD SPEW IF YOU CARRY ON TALKING FOR EVEN ANOTHER MILLISECOND MORE.  
CCG: I WANT TO KNOW IF WE'RE ALL ALIVE!  
CCG: SO WHERE THE BLOODY HELL ARE ARADIA, KANAYA AND ERIDAN?  
CCG: OH AND TAVROS CAN'T FORGET HIM.  
CTA: i kinda d0ubt any 0f us have died in under 24 h0urs KK we're n0t quite that shitty at staying alive.  
CTA: just try t0 be patient if that is even p0ssible f0r y0u.  
CCG: LOOK I'M JUST  
CCG: I'M JUST STRESSED GUYS.  
CCG: AND WORRIED.  
CCG: I FEEL LIKE THERE SHOULD BE SOME CATCH. OTHER THAN OUR LUSUSES OR LUSI OR WHATEVER STILL BEING DEAD.  
CCG: LIKE THIS IS JUST SOMETHING IN A DREAM BUBBLE.  
CCG: OR ACTUALLY THE PROPER AFTERLIFE AND WE ARE ACTUALLY DEAD.  
CCG: IF THAT IS EVEN A THING AFTER ALL WE'VE DONE.  
CURRENT adiosToreador [CAT] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.  
CAT: uHH,,  
CAT: hI GUYS,  
CAT: yEAH i'M STILL, uH,  
CAT: aLIVE AND, uHH, STUFF,,,  
CCG: GREAT. ANOTHER PERSON STILL ALIVE.  
CCG: WHETHER THAT WAS SARCASTIC OR NOT IS UP TO YOU TO DECIDE.  
CCG: I DON'T EVEN KNOW myself.  
CCG: UGH I'M JUST SO TIRED RIGHT NOW.  
CGC: YOU SHOULD G3T SOM3 MOR3 SL33P K4RKL3S  
CGC: TH3 G4M3 1S OV3R NOW YOU DON'T H4V3 TO STR3SS ABOUT BEING TH3 L34D3R 4NYMOR3 >:/  
CCG: BUT I DO.  
CCG: I STILL FUCKING DO AND I'M NOT GONNA SLEEP UNTIL *EVERYONE* HAS CHECKED IN.  
CCG: WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE OTHER THREE?  
CURRENT apocalypseArisen [AA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.  
CAA: i am here!  
CAA: and i am still alive!  
CAA: i enjoy being alive  
CCG: YEAH WE FUCKING HEARD.  
CAA: although my hive has seen better days  
CAA: i cant really live here anymore is it ok if i stay with someone for a while?  
CAA: who is closest?  
CTA: y0u can crash with me  
CCT: D --> I would be happy to accommodate you  
CCG: OH EVER CHAFING FUCK CAN WE *PLEASE* KEEP STUPID BLACKROM/REDROM SHIT OUT OF THIS MEMO?! OR ANY ROMANCE AT ALL IF THAT IS A THING YOU LOT CAN DO.  
CCG: I JUST WANT TO CHECK TO SEE IF EVERYONE IS ALIVE, TAKE IT TO PRIVATE CHAT FOR ANYTHING ELSE!  
FUTURE apocalypseArisen 2:35 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.  
FAA: whoops sorry guys just making sure it still works  
FUTURE apocalypseArisen 2:35 HOURS FROM NOW ceased responding to memo.  
CCG: OK WHAT THE FUCK  
CAA: it appears that future me may have recovered some of her/my time abilities  
CAA: or simply the timeline abilities that seem to come with this chat cilent for some inexplicable reason?  
CCG: OK GREAT SO THERE'S STILL SOME FREAKY GAME-BASED SHIT GOING ON.  
CCG: AND THERE I WAS THINKING I WOULDN’T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT SHIT ANYMORE.  
CCG: GUESS I'M STILL THE KNIGHT OF BLOOD THEN.  
CCG: YOU KNOW I WAS SORT OF HOPING IT WOULD MAGICALLY CHANGE COLOR AFTER ALL THIS?  
grimAuxiliatrix [GA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.  
CCG: BUT NO. STILL A MUTANT SMEAR AGAINST THIS RACE'S WONDEROUS RAINBOW.  
CGA: Hello Everyone  
CGC: K4RK4T 4R3 YOU OK?  
CCG: FINALLY.  
CCG: NOW JUST FOR ERIDAN AND I CAN FINALLY SLEEP.  
CGA: Yes  
CGA: About Eridan  
CCG: OH FUCK, WHAT NOW?  
CCG: IF HE’S DEAD I’LL KILL HIM.  
CTA: uh, KK?  
CCG: YEAH I KNOW FUCKING HELL.  
CGA: It Is Nothing Serious  
CGA: It Is Merely That He Has Informed Me That He Does Not Intend To Respond  
CGA: But He Assures Me That He Is Alright  
CGA: Physically At Least  
CCG: AND WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?  
CGA: I Have Some Concerns Over His Mental Well Being  
CGA: It Appears That Killing Two People Then Dying And Then Being Resurrected Has Not Done Wonders For His Sanity  
CGA: So To Speak  
CGA: Not That He Is Actually Insane But More  
CGA: Unsettled Rather  
CCG: WELL FUCK IT. SERVES THE BASTARD RIGHT.  
CCG: WELL, NOW THAT EVERYONE IS ACCOUNTED FOR, I AM GOING TO SLEEP.  
CCG: FOR A LONG TIME.  
CCG: SO DON'T YOU *DARE* TRY AND TROLL ME OR I WILL MURDER YOU BRUTALLY AND SLOWLY.

carcinoGeneticist [CCG] RIGHT NOW ceased responding to memo.

  
Things go pretty normally for almost two sweeps. Our heroes adapt quickly to their situation, as heroes are want to do. However, things cannot stay this way.

  
It is not meant to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some things you should know about this fic:
> 
> Please give it a go. Like Homestuck itself, it gets better after the character intros/summary-things are done.  
> It was the first HS fic I ever wrote and published.  
> It is by no means the best thing under the sun.  
> I am mainly posting it here to please my fans.  
> I love you just for getting this far.


	2. > Be Karkat Vantas, almost-two-sweeps in the future.

> Be Karkat Vantas, almost-two-sweeps in the future.

You are now Karkat Vantas, and you are having a few problems.

Due to this, when your husktop begins to beep for your attention with a probably very important message for you that could alter your life forever, you completely ignore it. You are terribly busy doing something that is almost certainly even more important and definitely more worth your time.

I.e., freaking the fuck out.

You do have a pretty good reason, however, for completely losing your shit the way you are. It is still fairly early evening on your part of the planet and you have only recently got up. Your routine hasn't changed much, despite the fact that there is no longer anyone around to enforce it (not that they really had anyway), and everything had been running smoothly before you'd gone and taken a look in the mirror.

And then you had begun freaking the fuck out because, no matter what you do to the angle or lighting or anything, the fact that your eyes are starting to turn a very bright shade of red is not something that can be ignored.

You haven't thought about your blood mutation for a long time. It hadn't really been anything of consequence compared to the horrors and SGRUB. And since it had turned out to be one of the worst-kept secrets in the history of paradox space, you had foolishly let it slip to the back of your mind and stopped worrying about it because you had forgotten why anyone should care.

Now it is painfully obvious why: you stick out like a white bleatbeast in a pack of black.

…Or should that be red?

Whatever the fuck it is, you are freaking out. This isn't supposed to be happening now. It's supposed to be happening in the future. To a Future Karkat Vantas who is far better prepared for this inevitable event and would most like give you shit about being a coward if Present Karkat bugged him about it.

But it _is_ happening now: you _are_ Present Karkat and you are scared shitless.

Because you are going to be culled. You just know it. You've been able to hide it up until now, but there is no way you'll be able to avoid it any longer. You have no lusus to protect you, and all of your friends live miles away. You're not high on the hemospectrum if you are even on it at all, and you are basically fucked.

…Fuck.

Eventually, after wasting a good half hour running around your hive and totally flipping your shit, the Husktop finally gains your attention and you sink down before it.

Seeing that it is Terezi who is messaging you doesn't exactly improve your mood.

\--gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]\--  
GC: H3Y K4RKL3S!  
GC: K4RK4T?  
GC: K4RK4T HURRY UP 4ND 4NSW3R!  
GC: …  
GC: WH4T3V3R YOU 4R3 DO1NG 1 C4N GU4R4NTEE TH4T TH1S 1S MOR3 1MPORT4NT, K4R4T!  
GC: F1N3 TH3N, 1'LL TRY L4T3R!  
\-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] \--  
\-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] \--  
GC: YOU H3R3 Y3T?  
CG: YES I AM HERE.  
CG: GODDAMMIT.  
GC: ABOUT T1M3!  
GC: 1 H4V3 4N 1MPORT4NT M3SSAGE!  
CG: TEREZ1  
GC: YOU S33 K4N4Y4 M3SS4G3D M3  
CG: TEREZI  
GC: B3C4US3 3RIDAN W4S 4PP3R3NTLY FL1PPING H1S SH1T 4BOUT SOM3TH1NG  
CG: TEREZI  
GC: TH4TS NOT TOO 1MPORT4NT BY TH3 W4Y BUT WH4T SH3 S41D H3 SA1D 1S  
CG: TEREZI MY EYES HAVE STARTED TO TURN

There is a pause in the conversation. You wait nervously for Terezi's reply, tapping your fingers on your desk and glancing anxiously around the room every few seconds as if expecting to find a troll pressing their nose against the window, or peeking out of your closet...

Terezi is the one who had first found out your blood colour and seems the most OK with it. You don't give a shit about what Kanaya or Eridan are doing – you need help. Yes, help. And you don't care about who it comes from. Terezi is just unfortunate that she'd messaged you when she had.

…At least, that's what you're telling yourself.

GC: 4R3 YOU SUR3?  
CG: YES I AM FUCKING SURE.  
CG: THEY ARE GOING RED  
CG: *RED*  
CG: BRIGHT BLASPHEMOUS OFF-THE-FUCKING-SPECTRUM *RED* TEREZI!  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK DO I *DO*?!  
CG: TEREZI??  
GC: W3LL FUCK  
GC: TH1S 1S 3V3N WORS3  
CG: THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN, TEREZI!  
GC: NOT QU1T3  
GC: OR R4TH3R  
GC: 1T M4K3S TH3 B4D TH1NG 3V3N MOR3 B4D  
CG: AND WHAT THE FUCK *IS* THIS 'BAD THING'?  
CG: YOU HAD BETTER TELL ME!  
GC: W3LL YOU S33  
GC: SORRY K4RK4T  
GC: TH3 1MP3R14L DRON3S 4R3 SCH3DUL3D TO COM3  
CG: WHAT?  
GC: 1N JUST UND3R FOUR MONTHS.  
CG: FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK  
GC: 4ND NOT A S1NGL3 M3MB3R OF OUR GROUP H4S BOTH R3QU1R3D QU4DR4NTS F1LLED

For about a minute, all you can do is stare at the screen. The information whirls around and around in your head like a tornado, not seeming to sink in at all, and leaving nothing but a jumbled wreckage of terror in its wake. The world is practically collapsing around you, falling to the ground in a steaming pile of the most messed up shit in the whole history of messed up shit.

Fuck.

GC: ...  
GC: K4RK4T?  
GC: >:?  
CG: FUCK.  
CG: FUCK THIS SHIT.  
CG: FUCK THIS SHIT TO HELL AND FUCKING BACK.  
CG: FUCK.  
GC: MY THOUGHTS 3X4CTLY.


	3. > Whoa, wait, back up a bit. Eridan?

> Whoa, wait, back up a bit. Eridan?

Your name is Eridan Ampora and you are _also_ freaking the fuck out.

Because this is bad. Really bad. You don't know that Karkat's eyes have changed and that that may well become an even bigger and more pressing issue than this, but if you did, you would still be sure that what is going on here, now, _to you_ is worse.

You are staring at your computer screen, mouse hovering over an email (not a message via Trollian, an actual email holy crap, you haven't received one since you were three), steeling yourself to just click already.

You know what this is about. As a highblood, a sea dweller no less, it is customary that you are given some sort of warning, and emails are never sent about anything else, or nothing that you know of. So yes, you know what the message will say.

You just don't quite want to believe it.

You feel sweat break out across your forehead as you fumble with the computer mouse, managing to miss three times as your hand shakes with stress and fear and sweat makes the surface slippery. You fight the urge to make a dive for your trusty rifle and incinerate the thing to less than ash. You don’t care that it’s your computer, you can use the damn husktop you bought last perigee or, heck, even your computer-glasses-things stuff in the vault downstairs.

You know you have to read it, though. It is an incredibly important piece of information and a lot hangs in the balance, and knowing will be better because you can't remember how far in advance you're supposed to get these things and you don't want to die (again) just yet.

You finally manage to open it, and even then the letters seem to blue slightly before you can read them. The text is brief and to the point, an automated message with the sole purpose to inform.

But it still makes your blood run cold.  
  
After you have finished, you seize Ahab's Crosshairs, aim it at the screen, and burn it to less than a crisp, along with a considerable portion of your wall. But you don't care. Fuck. Everything is fucked. Everything is fucking over for you now…

You slump down on the floor, grappling with the primeval fear curling its icy hand around your chest, closing your gills and crushing your lungs. The fear is so bad it actually hurts as your breathing quickens and rattles in your lungs. You feel faint. You feel ill. You are being suffocated by terror.

Because you are screwed. Completely, utterly, royally screwed.

When the Imperial Drone comes knocking, you had better be able to supply genetic material to each of his Filial Pails. If you have nothing to offer, he will kill you without hesitation.

You are Eridan Ampora, and you have neither.

> Be Kanaya Maryam.

Since the completion of the whole SGRUB catastrophe, revival, and what could only be described as the 'MiRaClEs' that had managed to salvage your entire planet and race… life has not actually changed all that much for you.

Sure, you're a rainbow drinker now, but as you've always preferred the day to the night, not a lot has changed apart from your new need for blood instead of regular food and of course, the lack of your lusus. And neither really inconvenience you… much.

It is very late at night (or early in the morning) and, as per usual, you are happily asleep in your recuperacoon, smeared in Sopor Slime and blissfully oblivious to the world. Sweet dreams, happy dreams, or just a pleasant stretch of nothing… not at all like Prospit but you’re used to that now. You are relaxed in the quiet nothing that is sleep.

This is, until your husktop begins to shriek for your attention and you are jerked rather unceremoniously back to consciousness.

Eyes still gummed with sleep, your peer into the darkness of your room in an attempt to see who is bothering you and decide whether it is worth getting up or not. You really hope it isn't. You spent a lot of the previous day battling with the monsters no longer kept at bay by your lusus and although they don't pose all that much of a challenge, they still had you occupied for far longer than you can reasonably enjoy.  
Which is why you are not too happy to see that it is Eridan who is bothering you, of all trolls. Has he managed to forget that you sleep at night? Or is it really that important? If things were how they should be, it wouldn't. You would get up, close his stupid chat window and maybe block him for twelve hours or something.

Unfortunately, things are not as they should be. So it probably is 'really that important'.

Grumbling to yourself, you clamber out of your nice cozy 'coon and slither onto the floor, the slime making you go a bit faster than you would have liked and not improving your mood. You slump in front of your husktop in a manner you wouldn't ever let anyone see, and begin to read what the oh-so-high-and-mighty-blood has been bugging you about.

\-- caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA] \-- 

CA: oh sweet jegus  
CA: kan  
CA: please kanaya youve gotta help me  
CA: im serious  
CA: this is really bad  
CA: i know youre asleep but please answwer  
GA: What Is It Eridan  
GA: This Had Better Be Important  
GA: And I Warn You That I Am Not In The Best Of Moods Right Now  
CA: kan  
CA: thank god  
GA: Would You Please Just Get To The Point  
CA: the drones are comin

You pause, staring at the words on the screen and wondering if you have read them right. Surely it is far too soon…

CA: kan?  
GA: Apologies  
GA: I Was Just A Little Surprised Is All  
GA: I Thought They Would Not Be Coming For A While  
CA: theyre not  
CA: i mean  
CA: ivve recievved a wwarnin  
CA: but its gonna be soon  
CA: like a few perigees  
GA: I Would Have Thought  
GA: For Someone With Your Blood Colour  
GA: That This Would Be No Problem At All  
CA: kan shut up  
CA: i havvent got one single quadrant filled an you know it  
CA: kan i am so fucked  
CA: kan im gonna die  
GA: Calm Down

You sit and think for a moment. The situation does seem pretty serious. Highbloods are the only ones directly informed but word would get around soon enough and as far as you're aware, not one of your group of twelve has both black and red quadrants filled.

Not even you.

GA: What About Feferi?  
CA: wwhat  
CA: cmon kan that shit ended ages ago and it wwas just some dumb crush anywway  
CA: besides you knoww wwe havvent spoken in ovver a swweep  
GA: And There's No One Else  
CA: wwell to be honest i havvent exactly tried much

You elegantly face-palm. Though you guess you aren’t too surprised -- he’s been hinting at it for a while as you attempted to ignore the approching threat of conscription and culling. This is your fault in a way, although he blows so many problems out of proportion so damn much that it is hard to take him seriously even if you do, at this point in time, know him better than any of the others.

CA: but that aint the point  
CA: shit kan its gonna kill me

You heave a heavy sigh. This is going to be a problem for all of you. The events of SGRUB have left most of you feeling too friendly with each other to for any sort of hate relationship, but too divided for any flushed… apart from maybe one or two cases…

GA: Try Asking A Few People Eridan  
GA: We Are All In This Together  
GA: I Think You Will Find That There Are Others Willing To  
GA: Ahem  
GA: Cooperate With You In Order To Help Themselves

Eridan pauses a bit before replying. You tap your foot impatiently, longing for your recupracoon and a nice, deep, dreamless sleep in which nobody bothers you about dumb relationship problems.

CA: kan im not gonna sink so loww as to ask some cheap pail-filler to help me out evven i havve more dignity than that left

Oh. So that was why. You hastily type your reply.

GA: I Was Not Suggesting You Did  
GA: I Merely Meant That Our Whole Age Group Will Be Facing This Problem  
GA: Since We Are Friends Dont You Think We Should Be Willing To Help Each Other Out  
CA: i guess  
CA: better than fillin a pail with a stranger  
CA: ugh i did not just havve that thought  
CA: movvin on  
CA: who is it youre suggestin  
GA: I Had Not Put Much Thought Into Whom  
GA: That Is More Nepeta's Area  
CA: im wworried theyll think its somethin permanent  
CA: wwhen fuckin well it aint  
GA: Personally I Think You Should Be More Worried About Surviving Than The Consequences  
CA: i guess  
CA: thanks anyway  
GA: You're Welcome

Sweet holy Jegus, please let him be leaving now…

CA: but they fuckin hate me kan

Ugh, not again… You've already been over this! Been over this so many times! Your patience is wearing very thin very quickly. You understand why his moirailship with Feferi hadn't lasted long, and you wish you weren’t reminded of it so damn often. Eridan is truly insufferable when he gets like this and it makes you remember why you got so annoyed at him in the past, which is something you do you best to forget.

CA: i fuckin killed fef  
CA: no ones gonna want to fill a quadrant with me  
CA: let alone a pail  
GA: Well As You Have Been Avoiding Them How Are You To Know What They Feel?  
GA: No One Hates You Eridan  
CA: yeah right  
GA: Look It Is The Middle Of The Night And If You Are Going to Be Like This I Won't Suffer It  
GA: Goodnight Eridan  
CA: wwait  
CA: kan

\-- caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA] \-- 

CA: fuck it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Editing this thing is near painful for me so if you have any tips please share them.)


	4. > Be Nepeta Leijon.

> Be Nepeta Leijon.

It has been almost two sweeps since the game. Looking back at it feels strange, but you think you’ve adjusted pretty well. Hunting without Pounce will never not feel weird, feel wrong, but the stars have stayed the same and the moons continue to rise every night. Equius remains your guide, your support, your responsibility, your moirail. All your friends are alive. You should have nothing more to wish for.

You do, though. But you can live with what you have and that is the really important thing.

Right now however, in the present, you aren’t really thinking about any of this. You have just received the upsetting news of the Imperial Drones from Kanaya. You have also spent much of the morning being hassled by people for opinions on pairings, so you are feeling rather harassed.

And now Terezi is messaging you. You really hope she isn't here to ask about relationship advice because you might just end up getting really annoyed with her. And you like Terezi so you don't want that to happen.

\-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling arsenicCatnip [AC] --

GC: *GC SWOOPS OV3R H3AD, T3RR1FY1NG AND M4GN1F1C3NT 4S USU4L!*  
GC: *BUT UNFORTUN4T3LY GC H4S SOM3 B4D N3WS AND C4NNOT RP R1GHT NOW*  
AC: :33 < *AC is disapawnted at this mews but takes it well*  
AC: :33 < *she has received bad mews today already about Imperial Drones*  
AC: :33 < *AC pawnders whether this is the same thing*  
GC: *GC 1S SORRY TO INFORM THAT  
GC: OH FUCK 1T  
GC: NO, TH1S 1S NOT 4BOUT THE DRON3S  
GC: K4N4Y4 TOLD M3 YOU 4LR3ADY KN3W  
GC: 1 4M H3R3 TO T3LL YOU TH4T K4RKL3S BLOOD COLOR H4S ST4RT3D TO SHOW AND TH4T H3 1S TOT4LLY FR34K1NG OUT 4BOUT 1T  
AC: :33 < oh no!  
AC: :33 < is there anything I can do to help?  
GC: 1 DONT R3ALLY KNOW  
GC: H3 JUST TOLD M3 TO T3LL 3V3RYON3  
GC: TO L1K3, "G3T 1T OV3R W2TH"  
GC: OR SOM3TH1NG I DUNNO  
GC: 3V3RYTH1NG IS PR3TTY STR3SSY R1IGHT NOW.  
AC: :33 < i knooooooow  
AC: :33 < and efuryones been clawing me about pawrings! :((  
GC: OH  
GC: SORRY, BUT 1 W4S WOND3R1NG 1F YOU H3LP M3 4 B1T W1TH TH4T  
AC: :33 < sigh  
AC: :33 < you are my furend so i guess i can  
CG: TH4NKS  
CG: THOUGH 1TS NOT 4CTU4LLY 4BOUT M3  
CG: 1D L1K3 TO KNOW WHO YOUV3 GOT 3RID4N P41R3D W1TH  
CG: 1F 4NYON3  
AC: :33 < hmm…

You turn to your shipping wall, which apart from a few updates is exactly the same as before you'd entered the game. Gamzee and Karkat are now confirmed moirails, and Sollux and Feferi are matesprits. You have a few questions marks surrounding Terezi and Karkat because they can never seem to decide if they want hate or pity, and then there’s the Dave human to consider still (although nobody talks about that anymore), and the same for Tavros and Vriska. You'd considered expanding it to accommodate your new human friends but there didn't seem to be much point. And besides... things tend to become awkward any time anyone mentions them.  
But so far, you haven't done anything involving Mr Ampurra apart from crossing out his moirailship with Feferi. He's not exactly your favorite person on the planet so you haven't really given him much consideration.

AC: :33 < nothing at the moment  
AC: :33 < i actually havent given him much thought apart from de-meowrailing him and fefurry  
AC: :33 < why did you want to know?  
CG: K4N4Y4 4SK3D M3 TO 4SK YOU B3C4US3 3R1D4N 1S B31NG 4 DOUCH3 4ND NOT T4LK1NG TO 4NYON3 4S USU4L 4ND SH3 W4S TOO BUSY TO 4SK H3RS3LF OR SOM3TH1NG  
CG: B3S1D3S 1M CUR1OUS TOO H3H3H3H3H  
AC: :33 < that isnt very purrlite  
AC: :33 < but i know what you mean shipping is sooo furn!  
GC: Y3AH AND NO ON3 R34LLY L1KES 4MPORR4 4NYW4Y  
AC: :33 < that is kinda mean Terezi  
GC: OH COM3 ON, 1TS 3R1D4N!  
GC: B3S1DES, WH4T 4R3 W3 SUPPOS3D TO TH1NK WH3N H3 N3V3R SP3AKS TO US 4NYMOR3?

You're not really sure what to say in response to this. Yeah sure, you've never exactly been fond of Eridan Ampora but he is still one of your group. And yeah, he'd killed a couple of people but so had Gamzee and everyone seems to be ok with him.  
But Terezi does have a point – Eridan never speaks to any of you anymore. The only one he's still in contact with, it seems, is Kanaya. He is, in a way, being even more unfriendly than he had been before.  
Which is sorta saying something.

But… you can't seem to hate him. You remember when you all met up again, after your adventure and found out that everyone was alive, and everyone had been smiling and hugging and some people were even crying because they were so happy.  
But not Eridan. Eridan had stood away from everyone, watching you all celebrate with a longing sort of gaze. But he hadn't come near. Even when Feferi and run up to him and hugged him and told him she'd forgiven him ages ago, he hadn't smiled. He'd just stood there, looking so, so sad, and later he had quietly slipped away, gone back to his hive, and had messaged Kanaya to tell her he was ok before going offline and not logging on again for days.

And even when he had, he hadn't answered anyone's messages.

Not yours, not Karkat's, not even Feferi's, apparently.

He seemed to be trying to shut himself off from the world.

GC: 4R3 YOU ST1LL TH3R3, N3P3T4?  
AC: :33 < oh yes!  
AC: :33 < sorry i was just pawndering over what you said  
GC: TH1NK WH4T YOU W4NT 1 ST1LL DONT TRUST H1M

You consider this. You try not to judge, because you weren't there when he did what he did and you weren't directly affected by it, so you don’t really think it’s your place. And yeah, he hit on you when you didn't want him to and was generally creepy and annoying, but he was definitely flushed for Feferi and you know what it’s like to pity someone without having your feelings returned...  
Pitying...  
Returned feelings...  
A thought suddenly occurs to you and you lick your lips nervously. You've been meaning to bring this up for a while but have either forgotten or kittened out. You don't want to start a fight but you really think you should say this…

AC: :33 < um  
AC: :33 <  terezi can i tell you something?  
GC: WH4T 1S 1T?  
AC: :33 < i want you to know that i am flushed for karkat

There. You've said it. Now to wait for her response and hope it won't be too negative…

GC: UH, OK.  
GC: 1D K1ND4 4LR34DY F1GUR3D TH4T OUT.  
AC: :OO < WHAT?!

You… can't say you've expected this. It throws you off quite a bit, but at least it's better than her being angry.

AC: :33 < how long have you known?  
GC: UH, K1ND4 FOR 4 WH1L3.  
GC: 1T W4S PR3TTY OBV1OUS, 4CTU4LLY.

You feel your cheeks fill with colour. This is sooo embarrassing!

GC: LIK3 YOUD G3T 4LL 4WKW4RD 4ROUND H1M.  
GC: 4ND YOU PR4CT1C4LLY B1T TH3 BR41N GLOB3 OFF OF 4NYON3 WHO 1NSULT3D H1M 1 M34N COM3 ON  
AC: :33 < Oh nooo! :((  
AC: :33 < does he know?  
GC: 1 DUNNO FOR SUR3 BUT PROB4BLY.  
AC: :33 < this is so pawkward now! :((  
AC: :33 < um i hope youre not too mad!  
AC: :33 < you have flushed feelings for him right?  
CG: 1 DONT KNOW  
GC: K1ND4  
GC: 1TS COMPL1C4T3D  
GC: H3 W4S G1V1NG R34LLY M1X3D S1GN4LS 1N TH3 V1EL 4ND H3S B33N B31NG SO 4WKW4RD 4BOUT 1T  
GC: 4ND TH3N TH3R3S OTH3R STUFF 1NVOLV3D TH4T 1 DONT W4NT T4LK 4BOUT R1GHT NOW OR M4YB3 3V3R  
  
GC: C4N W3 M4YB3 MOV3 4W4Y FROM TH1S TOP1C NOW?  
AC: :33 < oh yes of course! im sorry i didnt want to bring up any bad f33lings or memories  
AC: :33 < i am so embarrassed now though does everyone know how i f33l?  
GC: 1 DONT TH1NK SO  
GC: MOST P3OPL3 W3R3NT R34LLY TH1NK1NG 4BOUT TH1S SORT OF TH1NG 1 W4S JUST PAY1NG MOR3 4TT3NT1ON  
AC: :33 < i want to tell him how i feel but im so nervous!  
AC: :33 < would you mind if i did?  
AC: :33 < i dont want us to be rivals or anything but  
AC: :33 < i dont want to wait much longer either!  
GC: GO 4H34D  
GC: TH3 4SSHOL3 COULD DO W1TH 4 B1T OF 4 W4KE UP C4LL  
GC: H3S B33N 4VO1D1NG THE SUBJECT FOR SO D4MN LONG AND 1TS 4NNOY1NG >:I  
AC: :33 < ok i think i will then!  
AC: :33 < phew i have been so worried about this thank you!  
GC: NO PROBL3M!  
AC: :33 < i think i will do it now!  
AC: :33 < is that ok?  
GC: Y34H WH4T3V3R  
GC: JUST TRY NOT TO FR34K H1M OUT 4NYMOR3 H3S L1KE, TOT4LLY FL1PPNG H1S SH1T R1GHT NOW  
GC: 1 TH1NK H3 N33DS TO H34R FROM SOM3ON3 WHOS D3F1N1T3LY FLUSH3D FOR H1M THOUGH  
GC: GOOD LUCK!  
AC: :33 < ok thank mew!  
\-- arsenicCatnip [CG] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC] \--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know my characterization is off.  
> It pains me too.  
> Please don't remind me any more than is necessary.
> 
> Other than that, comments are more than welcome!


	5. > Be Gamzee Makara.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really should have said this sooner, but I began writing this long before Calliope's grande reveal as a Cherub. In fact I might've been planning it before I even caught up with Homestuck. The point is, a lot of things are not-canon and I interpreted Gamzee differently to how he turned out. I can TRY to fix things, but there's not a lot I can do without making it a complete plot re-haul which I really, REALLY do not want to do at this stage.
> 
> Thanks.

> Be Gamzee Makara.

You are now Gamzee Makara.

You wander along the beach, staring out across the water, one had shoved into your pocket and the other gently swinging a club. The game may be over but the sea dwellers haven't gotten any less hostile.

There's sand in your shoes and the night air is motherfucking cold, but you don't care. You're kinda used to it. In fact, this has become a sort of routine for you. Go out, just before daybreak, wander up and down the beach a bit, and think.

A lot has changed. Not many others see it and fuck, hardly anyone even knows why things have changed. One of the first discoveries you made after getting back was that nobody aside from your little group of twelve even knew that the apocalypse had happened at all. They had gone to sleep in the morning and gotten up in the evening. Nothing had changed.

But everything has changed. Everything. The world has been broken up, shaken about, arranged into colour order, used to play dice with, and super glued back together, rearranged so perfectly that it is almost exactly the same as it was before.

But it's not. Some pieces are missing. Your twelve lusi – they're still gone, they're still dead. Whatever crazy shit was pulled didn't fix that.

There's other stuff, too, but it's not the sort of thing you can place. It's everywhere, though, in the air you breath and the feelings you feel, but just as invisible. You don't know if it's to do with your blood colour or just your decidedly unstable thinkpan but you can feel it. There is something.

There just doesn't seem to be a way of finding out what.

Nobody seems to wanna talk about it, either. Though you guess you can't really blame them – no one really wants to talk to you, not since your 'episode' (as Karkat puts it, man you love him, best troll to ever exist and with every passing second you become gladder that you gave him your diamond) in the Veil. You're kinda cool with it, though, 'cause you're quite used to being lonely… but it doesn't help with the nagging frustration that there is something the matter and you can't for the motherfucking life of you work out what it is.

You wish, for what is probably the hundredth time, that you hadn't rotted your mind with sopor slime so much. You're pretty sure you'd be able to think better if you hadn't. But well, fuck it, without the slime you probably would've killed everyone before Sollux had even begun thinking about the game, so there's not a lot of point to that.

But it does make thinking logically hard. Especially when you're so used to simply chillin' along with it. You feel as if whenever you seriously attempt to work something out, your thoughts shift around each other, important ones sliding behind the useless and mundane and forcing you to do a sort of mental motherfucking jig in an attempt to actually grasp one.

It usually doesn't work, either…

The waves crash and the wind whistles. Sand crunches beneath your restless feet. Clouds briefly eclipse both moons, forcing you to stop briefly and wait until they move on, because even with decent night vision your eyes can't see through pitch black and the stars simply ain’t enough at this time of night.

…Someone is trolling you…

You still use your miracle fetchmodus. You enjoy the colors too much to stop. But you've kinda given up just hoping to get what you want from it and flinging something out to sea (you’ve lost faith, it’s as simple as that, but not something you like to admit except in the fleeting thoughts between thoughts in your mind).

It's much more convenient just to… to kinda reach over and…

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling terminallyCapricious [TC] \-- 

CG: HEY, GAMZEE.  
CG: STOP GAZING AROUND WITH YOUR MOUTH HANGING OPEN LIKE THE MORON YOU ARE FOR A SECOND AND ANSWER.  
TC: what is upupup, bro?  
TC: BEST MOTHERFUCKIN MOIRAIL?  
CG: IT'S KINDA IMPORTANT.  
CG: ER  
CG: WELL, MY EYES HAVE STARTED TO CHANGE.

Ok. Karkat's blood colour has never actually meant much to you. That fact that he's a mutant doesn't bother you – it hasn't ever meant anything before. Despite not being exactly opposed to it, you've never seen the hemospectrum as particularly important. It existed and you just happened to be pretty high on it. No big deal.

But now it is proving to be really important. Your best-bro moirail will be an outcast because of his blood colour. You yourself will suffer, the violence natural to your caste growing quickly, but at least you don’t face motherfuckin’ CULLING for having what you were born with pumping through your veins.

You weren’t all-out calm before, but now you’re getting scared too.

TC: whoa, no shit?  
TC: that's not good news, bro :o(  
CG: TELL ME ABOUT IT.  
CG: BUT DON'T ACTUALLY, I MEAN  
CG: YEAH.  
CG: YOU THINK YOUR EYES ARE TURNING?  
TC: haven't actually done nothing to motherfuckin check yet.  
TC: BUT SOUNDS MOST MOTHERFUCKIN LIKELY, BROTHER.  
TC: happens for all of us at around the same time.  
TC: RIGHT?  
CG: I THINK SO.  
CG: OH SHIT GAMZEE, I'M SO FUCKING SCARED.  
CG: I'M A FUCKING MUTANT.  
CG: I'M GONNA GET CULLED I KNOW IT.

This... this makes you angry. If angry even is the right word for the feeling that’s all twisting and coiling and clawing in your gut, because you don’t think that that word quite covers this wicked emotion that makes you feel strong but scared of that strong in equal measure. You fight to stay calm for that sake of your candy-blooded bro, and thinking of him helps a little.

Helps a bit...

TC: i feel for you, bro.  
TC: AIN’T EASY FOR THE NONE OF US.  
TC: but you gotta trust, bro, cause that’s how the miracles are all up and working away :o)  
CG: OH GOD.  
CG: DON'T YOU START.  
TC: nah it's cool bro.

(You know the faith is lost, crushed beneath the bittersweet reality of the existence in which you make you life, but you hide that thought, bury it at the bottom of your pan because so much of you still wants to believe and if you don’t have this, what do you have?)

You keep talking to Karkat.

TC: this sea air is the best motherfuckin miracle.  
TC: it's so cool and calming and shit.  
CG: GREAT.  
CG: JUST BE CAREFUL, OK?  
TC: sure thing bro!  
TC: didn't survive the motherfuckin apocalypse just to die on this shitty planet.  
TC: and.  
TC: bro?  
CG: YEAH? WHAT IS IT?  
TC: if any motherfuckin son of a bitch.  
TC: TRIES TO MOTHERFUCKIN MESS WITH YOU.  
TC: just tell me.  
TC: i'll help you out :o)  
CG: THANKS, GAMZEE.  
CG: I REALLY HOPE THAT WON'T HAVE TO HAPPEN  
CG: BUT IT PROBABLY WILL.  
TC: i won't let any dumb motherfucker hurt you :o(  
TC: JUST LET THEM FUCKIN TRY.  
CG: THANKS.  
CG: I THINK.  
CG: JUST DON'T GET TOO WORKED UP, OK?  
TC: sure thing, bro.  
TC: best motherfuckin moirail ;o)  
CG: RIGHT.  
CG: SEE YA, I GUESS.  
CG: GOT SHIT TO DO. BEING TEAM LEADER TO THIS GROUP OF PHLEGMWADDED FUCKNUGGETS IS TOUGH YOU HAVE NO IDEA.  
CG: AND SWEET TROLL JEGUS I'M SCARED.  
TC: it'll be ok bro.  
TC: just trust in those miracles.  
TC: they do happen, if you want them to.  
CG: YEAH, WHATEVER.  
CG: BUT THANKS.  
CG: BYE.  
TC: PEACE OUT, MOTHERFUCKER!

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling terminallyCapricious [TC] \--

You captchalogue your husktop once more, bathing you in the flashing multicolored lights of your sylladex. With a quiet sigh, you turn your back on the ocean and begin to head towards your hive just as the blistering sun starts to appear on the horizon.


	6. > Be Equius Zahhak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Please note that the majority of what may appear to be characterization mistakes made in the opening chapters are usually smoothed over by the time the story really gets going ok than bye.)
> 
> (Basically I'm always doubting myself when it comes to these two.)

> Be Equius Zahhak.

You are now Equius Zahhak. And you need a towel…

You stride around your respiteblock, wringing your hands and trying not to punch anything. Which is hard. The twisted remains of robots already litter the floor from where you'd punched them to pieces in an attempt to release your pent-up mess of emotions.

The attempts have not been successes.

You want to call for Authour. Have some milk, the glass of which would definitely break, but would at least calm you some.

But you can't, of course, because Authour is dead.

You have been very upset by this. Authour was simply the best butler there was and he really knew how to care for you. But now… Now you are alone. You can look after yourself, of course, but you really miss his company…

You still have your moirail, of course, for which you are grateful. But she lives a horribly long way away from your hive and it had been a while since you have seen her. Vriska, your fellow blue blood, was never exactly friendly and all you really did was double-cross each other frequently. But she has stopped bothering you for parts for her doomsday devices and hasn't contacted you in a long time. It's strange how much you miss it.

You also miss Aradia. Yes, she is a maroon blood. Yes, she is the lowest of the low. But she was still your... _something_ , for a time, and you miss her. Which quadrant you are not sure, although it is no secret that your feelings towards her were far more of the flushed kind…

Just before you can delve too deep into the tangled mess that is your emotions, however, you are thankful to be distracted by someone messaging you. It is Nepeta, and you don't believe you have ever been so glad to be messaged by her.

Relieved, you sit before your husktop and reply to your moirail.

\-- arsenicCatnip [CG] began trolling centaursTesticle [CT] \--

AC: :33 < *AC leaps onto her pawsitively amazing meowrail's lap and gives a long purr*  
AC: :33 < *she is very glad to see him but unfortunately has something very impawtant to ask*  
CT: D --> Hello Nepeta  
CT: D --> I see you continue to partake in these f001ish activities  
AC: :33 < humph! dont be such a grump equius!  
CT: D --> I apologize  
CT: D --> It was intended as a thing of endearment  
AC: :33 < silly equius! :33 its pawright!  
CT: D --> So what is this impawtant thing you wished to speak of  
CT: D --> Important I mean  
AC: :33 < h33h33!  
AC: :33 < well you see  
AC: :33 < im kinda nervous, equius  
AC: :33 < with the drones coming soon, i wanna be ready!  
AC: :33 < beclaws i dont want to be culled :((  
CT: D --> Of course you do not  
CT: D --> It will be a problem for all of us when the time comes  
CT: D --> But rest assured that I will protect you  
AC: :33 < aw! thank you equius! even though i dont need purrtecting  
CT: D --> Of course you do not  
AC: :33 < worlds best meowrail :33  
AC: :33 < but there is something else  
AC: :33 < im scared youll say no but i wanted to ask you first  
AC: :33 < beclaws you are my moirail  
AC: :33 < i think i want karkat to be my matesprit

You consider this a moment before replying. Before the game, you would have instantly forbidden your moirail for even mentioning the name. Now that you actually owe your life to him in a way, however, your view has entirely changed.

Plus, you and Nepeta have become a lot closer since those turbulent times. Your relationship has always been fairly solid, and definitely the surest in the whole group, but the trials and tribulations the two of you faced only served to strengthen your bond.

In short, you do not want her to be in any way unhappy, and you will be... you will be damned if you are to let something like this stand in her way after all you have been through, gosh darn it.

AC: :33 < i think  
AC: :33 < um  
AC: :33 < youre not mad are you?  
CT: D --> I am not angry  
CT: D --> After all, even I myself do not have the, uh, most common of feelings towards a female troll of a certain blood colour  
AC: :33 …  
  
AC: :33 < you mean aradia?  
CT: D --> Ahem  
CT: D --> I would prefer it  
CT: D --> If we did not talk about her  
AC: :33 < whatever you say ;33  
AC: :33 < so i have your purrmission to talk to him about it?  
CT: D --> Yes  
CT: D --> I give you my permission  
CT: D --> In fact, I believe he would be an e%cellent choice in matesprit  
CT: D --> I believe he is fully capable of protecting you  
AC: :33 < aw! thank you equius!  
AC: :33 < although i don't n33d purrtecting! >:||  
CT: D --> Of course you do not  
AC: :33 < h33 h33! bye bye!  
CT: D --> Goodbye, nepeta

\-- arsenicCatnip [CG] ceased trolling centaursTesticle [CT] \--


	7. > Be Feferi Peixes.

> Be Feferi Peixes.

Before you are Feferi, you begin to wonder if there is really any order to the selection of who you become. Is it significant in any way? You sure hope so…

After a few minutes of thinking you decide that there must be something behind it, something huge and meaningful to the plot of this shitty little fanfiction which shamelessly and terribly attempts to imitate Andrew Hussie's original and amazingly brilliant style. It cannot simply be zigzagging to whichever character the author thinks of next. Yes. There must be something...

ANYWAY…

You are now Feferi Peixes.

You sit on your Ψdon's Entente, hanging still in the water as you stare into the deep and shifting blues and greens. You are not smiling. You are too worried to smile. To worried and too… too sad.

Gl'bgolyb is dead, and the weight of her departure hangs heavily on your shoulders even after all this time. None of your lusi were revived along side you, so at least you are not alone. In a way it is a relief – you no longer have the burden of feeding her – but you still miss her. There is no longer a voice there beside you, whispering words of wisdom and reassurance. That and her protection is gone. You are still the Heiress Apparent. You will still, one day, have to face Her Imperial Condescension in mortal combat.

That is, is you live that long.

You know it can only be a matter of time before the absence of your lusus is realized. You know it can only be a matter of time before the assassins turn up. They could be Threshecutioners, Cavalreapers, Ruffiannihilators, Archeradicators, or any of the other classes used for such deeds. There was no way of knowing. But they will come. As surely as the moons pull the tide, they will come.

There is no point in running away. You can only hope you'll be ready when it happens.

You sigh, and turn to look to your left. A craggy pillar of rock looms out of the ocean floor, towering up to form as island at the surface. On that island is a wrecked ship. In that wrecked ship lives your once-moirail.

Eridan Ampora.

He hasn't spoken to you. Not a word. Hasn't visited you or even contacted you through Trollian, not once. You only ever hear about him through Kanaya, who seems to have made it her duty to keep everyone updated. It's the only way he communicates and it isn't even direct. You don't even know if he knows she does it.

You wish you knew what was wrong. You'd tried visiting, obviously, but he hadn't even answered the door and you weren't going to force entry to his hive. You had more dignity than that. In the end, you had simply gone off in a huff, having yelled yourself hoarse and being too irritated to continue. He's making you feel guilty and you're the one he killed!

…Maybe that's it. You've told him you forgive him. First when you had all reunited, reborn on your planet. You'd even hugged him.

But he hadn't responded. Instead he had flinched away from your touch, refused even to make eye contact. And then he had quietly slipped away without anyone even noticing. Messages from Kanaya aren't enough to convince you that he's ok.

Sometimes you think it must be Sollux. You had been in a quadrant, after all, and Eridan seemed to have never relinquished his flushed feelings for you. You feel guilty about that, in a way – you had turned him down so harshly without even considering his feelings. You guess you'd been too tired of him to really think about what he felt and it makes you feel kinda mean…

But the truth is, your quadrants are even more messed up that Eridan's. You love Sollux, and you know he likes you… but you know that he's also fond of Aradia and although it makes your fuchsia blood boil to think that you might just be a result of a rebound… you can't ignore the possibility.

It makes you so sad.

You hope things get sorted out. With the drones coming soon, you just want everyone to be ok. They're your friends. Together, you escaped the apocalypse, fought hideous creatures, and even created a whole new universe. You can't forget that. Can't forget how, in that short space of time… blood didn't matter. You, the highest possible, are flushed for one of the lowest. Your leader then and, in all practicality, you leader now, is a mutant with candy-red blood and has no place on the Hemospectrum at all.

He is also is your friend.

You have resolved to yourself that you will replace The Condesce. You will become the Empress. And when you do, you will make sure that the hemospectrum casting is abolished.

No matter what it takes.

> Be Vriska.

You are now Vriska Serket. Well, duh! Who else would you be?

You are Vriska Serket and you are a very, _very_ long way from home. You haven't encountered terrain like this before in your life and it is really getting on your nerves! The foliage is thick around you, making everything nothing but different shades of green, and you are totally sick of the colour. Sick of it! It's blisteringly hot even at midnight and the air is so filled with moisture that you feel practically soaked, although it's mostly your own sweat. Yuck!

The air is also filled with biting flies that rise in clouds from every twig you push aside. You're out of repellent and you're too exhausted to continuously bat them away so you just have to watch them as they steal your precious blue blood, sucking until their bodies swell, and causing lumps to rise on your burning skin that are as irritating as fuck with the way that they itch.

You'll bear it though. You have to. Besides, it's not too long now. Or at least, it shouldn't be. And you've got your dice and a good machete so the foliage isn't too much of a problem… or the fauna, for that matter.

You don't remember ever seeing clawbeasts that big before anywhere you mean seriously.

But you've been lucky. Extremely lucky. Naturally you would be, of course, but you're not taking it for granted. You did once and regretted it. Badly. When you found out that, either way, you would have died...

So, basically, when you did die. When you did die, and then didn't come back like you thought you would, leaving your blood permanently upon your once-sister's hands.

Speaking of which, things are surprisingly ok between Terezi and you, actually. There is a sort of… unspoken acceptance, you guess. What your ancestors started has finally been finished. Everything has come full circle. There are no more grudges to hold. The two of you are starting to become pretty good friends again, actually.

But you weren't meant to come back. You know you weren't. It was supposed to end then, end for you, at least, as the universe's punishment for your crimes or some complete bullshit that some people would believe but you definitely don't. The whole point is,  _you didn't stay dead_ , and now you are back on Alternia trying to work out why, as well as answer some other questions.

It is why you are here now, hacking your way through a boiling jungle, miles away from your hive and your friends and everything that is familiar. Except danger. Danger is very familiar and still very much there. But so is the thrill so you are pretty fucking happy. It makes it feel a little like FLARP, except you aren't guaranteed any rewards unless you purposefully go out of your way to get some.

The sun will be rising soon. You quicken your pace. Dammit, c'mon, it has to be around… here… somewhere…

You slash at the leaves before you. Branches crash to the ground and various insects scurry away.

And then there it is, in the middle of a clearing brilliantly illuminated by the twin full moons, the stone temple carved straight from the rock. Hundreds of sweeps old and exactly how it was described to you.

It isn't a frog temple. You're not sure what happened to those but they don't seem to be important anymore. This one is much plainer and smaller. In fact, it's probably more of an entrance-way. The real treasure must lie deep beneath your feet… But you only really know this because it's what most of the others have been like.

But you do know that it's the right one: that insignia is unmistakable.

You enter. You were right – it is, by function if nothing else, a door. Steps lead down into the unknown but, as tempting as they are, you are far too tired to explore. You get out your mat and lay it down at the other end of the temple, ignoring the dirt and scuttling sounds and you disturb dust that may not have been touched for hundred and hundreds of sweeps. Tomorrow. You will search… tomorrow…

It is hot, your skin is itchy, and you don’t even have a sopor _patch_ , let alone a proper recuperacoon. But you quickly fall asleep.


	8. > Be Sollux Captor.

> Be Sollux Captor.

You are now Sollux Captor and your quadrants feel even more messed up than Feferi's ever will be.

You are inexplicably torn between two females – one of the highest possible caste, the other of the lowest. It's always twos for you, isn't it? And you didn't even want it to be this time. You are torn and it hurts and it is hard. It is hard and nobody understands.

That and you are blind. Whatever shit that saved the universe didn't fix that. Sure, it's nice not having to hear the voices of the doomed 24/7, and your bipolar tendencies have decreased by roughly 50-something percent, but you haven't exactly mastered Terezi's way of 'seeing' yet and you spend far too much time bumping into things. Far. Too. Much. Time. You're trying to figure out how to use psionics to feels your way around but not making much progress. Terezi keeps meaning to send you a cane or some shit but hasn’t yet. So yeah, life has become frustratingly and painfully hard.

At least you don't lisp anymore, though. You're grateful for that. And it's a good thing you are or you'd never be able to forgive Karkat.

You sigh, and fiddle idly with a throwing star. As if you need them. You still have them around, though, but mostly because you haven't gotten around to throwing them out yet, which would involve crawling around and getting cut more than once. Because you don’t have any fucking eyes.

Eyes. And eye colour. Karkat's blood is beginning to show and he has spent most of the night flipping the fuck out about it. He was a bit calmer after he contacted Gamzee about it, apparently, but you were still one of the ones who had to deal with the full brunt of his terror.

You can't help but resent him for it a little, either. Sure, he's a mutant but at least he's not disabled like Tavros or Terezi or-or you!

It's still weird thinking about yourself like that. More than once you've woken up in the evening and practically flipped the fuck out when everything is still dark when you open your eyes. But what's worse is the feeling that comes before it. The feeling that you'll open your eyes and see the walls of your recuperacoon and the blue/red (that theme hasn't changed) of the sopor slime. That feeling is worse because you think that nothing's changed.

But it has. It has and you abso-fucking-lutely hate it.

And now the drones are scheduled to come in a matter of months and your quadrants are the biggest pile of messed up shit on the whole motherfucking planet. You admit that you'd thought that your troubles were over when Feferi died, and then you'd gone and spent all that time with Aradia by the fucking Green Sun. But things can never be that simple, at least not for you, and while you're glad that everyone's back and ok it's not helping with your emotions.

Your hand slips and whoops, there goes that star. Fuck. It's now on the floor somewhere and if you don't pick it up now you are going to tread on it and bump into even more things while attempting to bandage the inevitable gash on your foot.

Some rather undignified scrambling around on the floor later, you have the star again and a few scratches on your fingers. Goddamn eyes... you need to pick up Terezi's kind of vision. Pronto. Although you are better than you were before. You still haven't gotten used to licking your husktop screen, though...

Speaking of your husktop, someone appears to be trolling you. Joy. Because you so wanted to be bugged by someone incessantly for half an hour, when you could be at least attempting to sort out the jumbled heap that is your quadrants, or maybe even doing something productive like programming something. You've been meaning to set each troll on your contacts to give a different beep note thingy, but you haven't quite gotten around to it yet. So your contacter is still a complete mystery.

Note to self: get around to setting the different beep note thingies.

> ======>

You sit before your husktop once more and very self-consciously lick the screen. It's awkward even with no one there to see it, but your headset is at the other end of your hive somewhere and you really can't be bothered to go grope around for it.

The sharper flavours waft towards you and your blood pusher sinks as you discover who it is. Why her, of all trolls? Why her?

\-- arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA] \--

AG: Soooooooolluuuuuuuux!  
AG: You gonna answer?  
AG: It's sort of important, actually ::::\

You decide that you will suffer her. For a while. Because it's not like you have anything better to be doing and, whether you like it or not, Serket has actually been being more civil lately and even been making polite conversation.

But that doesn't mean you'll enjoy it.

TA: oh f0r fuck's sake.  
TA: what is it  
TA: spiderbitch.  
AG: ::::O  
AG: That's rude, Solluuuuuuuux!  
TA: just get t0 the fucking p0int i have better things tw0 be d0ing than putting up with your shit.  
AG: Heheh, you're no fun!  
AG: But alright I'll tell you.  
AG: As it is important.  
AG: Ahem.  
TA: jesus vriska just get 0n with it.  
AG: Ok ok!  
AG: So Sollux,  
AG: Have you ever wondered why,  
AG: In the over-a-sweep we've 8een back here,  
AG: No one has ever turned up to cull any of us?

You pause at this because, well, she has a point. None of your group has a lusus anymore. While it may be possible for you to escape culling for a few months, escaping it for over a sweep is certainly very strange... Other than your quadrant affairs, it is the thing that has weighed most heavily on your thinkpan.

TA: i guess we've just been lucky  
TA: ?  
AG: Solluuuuuuuux!!!!!!!!  
AG: I know you're smarter than that!  
AG: No matter how much you choose to 8ehave like a l8me asshole idiot.  
AG: I also know that you are smart enough to access our files.  
AG: Although I am a 8it surprised that you haven't done it already.  
AG: And told us ::::\  
TA: i guess i just.  
TA: s0rta didn’t want t0 know.

All trolls, from when they emerge until they die, have a file. It contains their age, name, wriggling day, address and, most importantly, their 'status'.

I.e., whether they are to be culled or not.

As far as you are aware, Tavros has only avoid a change of status through a combination very carefully avoiding anyone outside of his circle of friends, and having a lusus that cared about him enough not to let it slip. You yourself are pretty sure that your own lusus wouldn't've given a shit – so long as you fed it, it was happy. If you did not, however...

Vriska's lusus was a similar case – you're pretty sure it would've somehow sold her out immediately if she'd been injured in a way that meant she couldn't feed it, and that was only if it didn't eat its charge. You're not sure how Terezi survived without either a lusus _or_ her vision but it probably has something to do with her being so far away from the rest of civilization to be easily tracked down.

There would be no avoiding it, though. All too soon, not long after you have all given your first 'donations' to the Imperial Drones, you will be either shipped off into outer space, or culled. Even if you're not on the file, the culling drones have ways of knowing - scans and sensors and shit, you'd know, you've done research on it and the information is readily available, no hacking required.

TA: i think they’re waiting until c0nscripti0n night.  
TA: then they’ll cull us.  
AG: You 8etter hope that Conscription Night doesn't come too quickly, then.  
AG: 8ecause I've looked at the list.  
AG: You're not the only hacker on this planet, Sollux.  
AG: We're on it. All of us are.  
AG: All twelve of us. Myself included. For a really 8um8 reason too. Apparently, I'm still missing an eye and an arm!  
AG: There's no point in correcting it. The excuses for most of us are totally transparent so they won't give a shit what anyone does.  
AG: We are things like 'a danger to society'.  
AG: Karkat isn't even listed as a mutant, which would 8e a good enough reason, if they knew.  
AG: Which it seems they don't.  
TA: y0u seem very calm ab0ut this.  
AG: That is 8ecause I do not intend to be culled!  
AG: Nor do I intend to go into outer space.  
TA: what the fuck.  
TA: y0u cant just av0id it.  
TA: if y0u resist then they will DEFINITELY cull y0u.  
AG: It doesn't matter, Sollux.  
AG: I have more important things to be doing.  
AG: Just look at those files, OK?  
AG: Or smell, or whatever.  
AG: I think you'll find them interesting ;;;;)

\-- arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]\--

TA: wait what are y0u  
TA: 0h fuck y0u.

You guess it's worth a look, and after a few minutes of awkward screen-licking and truly expert hacking, you have made your way onto the main database and are sniffing at the files.

They seems to be pretty much what you would expect. But as you scroll down, your friends' names flashing before you, your jaw goes slack and slowly hangs open in shock.

What... in the name of...

Holy shit.

\-- arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA] \--

AG: Soooooooo... you smelled yet?  
TA: i just  
TA: i cant  
TA: there is s0mething wr0ng with this.  
TA: something s0 s0 wr0ng.  
GA: Yeeeeeeeep.


	9. > Now be Terezi. Just bear with it a bit longer we're nearly done...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. College started again and I suddenly had work and also a trip so yeah.

> Now be Terezi. Just bear with it a bit longer we're nearly done...

You are now Terezi Pyrope. Bear with what a bit longer? What's nearly done?

Oh well. Probably just one of the repercussions of the game. You fondly remember the mental half-conversations you had with the exiled Black Queen. Mental as in she talked to you that way, not something else. 

You brilliantly waste a good five minutes simply reminiscing about your time in the Land of Thought and Flow. You'd really enjoyed it there. Everything seemed to make sense...

...Unlike the world you are living in now. It's strange, really, just how much your perspective has changed, altered so much in such a short space of time. Some things are still the same, though, because some things are reality-constant. You still want to be a legislacerator, for example.

But you have come to an important conclusion about your planet:

Its system of justice isn't just.

It is a form of entertainment in which the lives of innocents are put at risk, either by being tricked into suffering for the guilty party, or by the guilty party being let go because they 'amused' the Subjuglators. It makes you sick.

You are, of course, working to remedy this. But it is going just sooo slowly! You have to be subtle about it, naturally. You've avoiding being culled for a long time and haven't died even once in the main timeline! You have no wish to break your record, thanks. As with what you are doing, however, Vriska has been surprisingly helpful and you are, in fact, waiting for some files from her which should arrive today.

And as you wait, you are entertaining yourself with one of your favorite activities: role playing!

Oh yes! These plushes have committed some terrible crimes and of course it is your duty to bring them to JUST1C3! Which, with your new ideals, is slightly more complicated but even more fun!

You while away at least two hours doing this. Meanwhile your friends are engaging in other activities that are doubtlessly far less important and will be addressed shortly.

Probably.

Your husktop begins to beep. The scent of Vriska's cerulean text wafts across the room and your hurry over to your desk.

\-- arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC] \--

arachnidsGrip [AG] transferred files image1 image2 image3 image4 AllTheShitIFound to gallowsCalibrator [GC]  
AG: Here you go!  
AG: They weren't easy to find, 8ut since I'm so awesome I managed it.  
AG: I'm sending the images in a separ8te file. They're pretty 8ig.  
AG: And I don't want to risk putting the info up here for all to see.  
GC: H3R3 W3 GO  
GC: 1T'S 3NCRYPT3D, R3M3MB3R?  
GC: SOLLUX S3T 1T UP  
AG: Siiiiiiiigh  
AG: You will keep 8ringing this up and I will keep repeating the stupid facts until they sink through the thick wall of your skull.  
AG: This doesn't work like that!  
GC: TH3N HOW DO3S 1T WORK?  
AG: I can't tell yeu!  
AG: It's frustr8ting for me too!  
AG: Ugh, just look at them. Preferably in a place where no one else can see you.  
AG: Then save them away in the least conspicuous place you can find on your husktop  
GC: F111111N3.   
GC: 1 ST1LL DON'T G3T 4LL TH3 S3CR3CY THOUGH >:/  
GC: WH3N W1LL 1 F1ND OUT?   
GC: 4ND WH3N C4N W3 R34LLY *DO* SOM3TH1NG?  
GC: TH1S DUMB ORD3R WON'T F1X 1TS3LF YOU KNOW!  
AG: SHHHHHHHH!  
AG: G8d I kn8w sweet Jegus!  
AG: It shouldn't 8e l8ng n8w!  
AG: 8ut it m8st all 8e v8ry c8vert for n8w!  
AG: We w8ll have to m8ve slowly.  
AG: And c8refully.  
AG: 8f th8t 8s 8ven p8ssi8le f8r y8u!!!!!!!!  
GC: WHO4 C4LM DOWN!  
GC: 1 THOUGHT W3 W3R3 4BOV3 BL4T4NTLY 1NSULT1NG 34CH OTH3R NOW?  
AG: UGH. AG: Look, I'm cold, wet, tired, and covered in insect 8ites.  
AG: Which itch like you wouldn't fucking 8elieve.  
AG: So I am bot in a good mood and you are not helping!  
AG: Oh 8nd th8s pl8ce m8ght 8e a8out t8 c8llapse 8nto my h8ad at 8ny m8nute d8d 8 m8ntion th8t?  
CG: YOUR H34D 1S TOO TH1CK TO G3T HURT H3H3H3H3H3H!  
CG: BUT OK 1 G3T 1T   
CG: K1ND4 >:/  
CG: 1F YOU H4T3 1T SO MUCH WHY 4R3 YOU TH3R3?  
AG: 8ecause I h8ve t8 be.  
AG: This is my no8le sacrifice and 8lah 8lah 8lah.  
AG: Or may8e atonement. Some 8ullshit like that anyw8y. You just get used to it after a while.  
AG: None of this shit is really under my control I can tell you that.  
CG: OH J3GUS  
CG: YOU'R3 NOT GONN4 ST4RT T4LKING 4BOUT VO1C3S OR GODS OR 4NYTH1NG L1K3 *TH4T* 4R3 YOU?  
AG: Haha, nope! There are no higher beings I know of. Thank GOD! I've had enough of that fuckery to last me, like, 8 lifetimes!  
CG: ...  
AG: I'll probably find out more l8er and then I will tell you. Is that ok????????  
AG: Right now I'm just rel8ying info to people who should know what to do with it. As I have told you 8efore.  
AG: I am a messenger. You are I don't know what 8ut far more fucking helpful and important than I am.  
AG: I just have to sl8ve aw8y in 8rutally hot clim8tes while you actually get to do shit! You should 8e fucking GR8FUL!  
AG: Heheh! M8kes s8nse I'd be the one m8nipul8ed, r8ght?  
AG: 8fter all I've d8ne. You find something so sad about this. Not the pathetic sort of sad that you can laugh at. Just... sad.  
GC: WH4T H4PP3N3D TO YOU IN THE DR3AM BUBBL3S, VR1SK4?  
AG: I   
AG: Can't   
AG: F8cking  
AG: S8y!!!!!!!!  
AG: At least not here. May8e in person. If I EVER manage to get 8ack... and catch a 8r8k!  
AG: I've pro8a8ly said too much already, actually.  
AG: Anyway I should pro8a8ly get moving I can hear this sort of ominous rum8ling sound.  
GC: GOODBY3!  
GC: 4ND GOOD LUCK! >:]  
AG: Ciao!

\-- arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC] \--

Vriska goes offline, and you are left wondering what on Alternia ‘ciao’ means and where the hell she got it from.

Oh, and about all the other stuff as well. Vriska tries to act like her old self but the facade tended to slip, especially when she was stressed or tired. And then there was all the dumb secrecy. You can see (well, small) why you have to be so careful. Any idiot could. But you're using a private chat system which Sollux himself had recently encrypted for you, so you really don't get why Vriska's being so edgy about it.

That and you're positive that there must be some outside force controlling her, or at least affecting her actions in some way. Vriska just doesn't do this stuff, and while you're all for what the ultimate goal is... you can't help but be suspicious. What if her facade is a facade? What if she's lying about everything? What if you're just becoming involved in one of her games again?

But you're also worried _for_ her. Worried because you don't want Vriska to die again. No matter what she was like and often still is like, you don't want her to get killed. You never wanted her to get killed. It's not just that you follow what Karkat says about no one dying, either – Vriska may be a bitch but there's a sort of... kinship between you, you guess. Not as strong as it was back in your FLARPing days, but it's still there. She's died once before and it was one of the saddest, most distressing moments in your life – you do not want a repeat of that experience.

You hope she'll be alright...


	10. > Be Aradia.

> Be Aradia.

You are now Aradia Megido, and you are rather cold.

You hive still hasn't been repaired and your doubt that it ever will be. For one thing, you were dead for such a long time before the game that you aren't even registered to exist anymore, Sollux has been kind enough to confirm. Your file has been lost to the archives of the deceased lowbloods where it will probably never be set eyes on again.

You are rather thankful for this, actually – it puts you conveniently off the radar for culling and such. Unfortunately, it also means that getting drones to repair your hive, which would have been difficualt before due to your blood colour, is literally impossible now.

So you have less than half a roof left. You are cold.

You've tried staying with others, of course, but that proved to be incredibly dysfunctional. Both Equius and Sollux had offered and you had attempted to alternate between the two – your _potential_ kismesis and your _potential_ matesprit. Unfortunately this hadn't sat well with either of them - both had been frustratingly possessive, convinced that _they_ were the best one for you and it had become too much. It doesn't help that you're pretty sure that Equius' affections lean more in the flushed direction than you would prefer...

Sollux was perhaps even more of a problem due to his very confused relationship with Feferi. He seems torn between you and the last thing you want is for the (hopefully) future empress to be angry at him. Or you, for that matter. You enjoy being alive far too much.

And the potential scandal in staying with anyone else had been too great a risk, really... Besides, you don’t even know many of the others that well.

You you are living in the remains of your hive. Even if it does mean getting soaked when it rains. One of the first silly things you'd managed to do was forget it wouldn't simply go through you. You're not making that mistake again in a hurry – once was enough, and also too many, in your opinion. You've contemplated going back to the frog temple, but… too many bad memories. You prefer being at your old hive, even if it's not exactly in tiptop condition.

Because you're alive. You're alive and you love it. Sure, bad things come with it, but you feel that it's worth it. Plus, the voices are gone. Your head is completely quiet, apart from your own conscience, which makes an appearance every now and again, when you need it. You can't summon the dead anymore, but you don't consider it all that at all unfortunate. Poor things deserve to rest in peace... You would know.

Your telekinetic abilities, on the other hand, are as strong as ever, as strong as when you were dead, and you enjoy that. It allowed you to repair a bit more of your roof and cover one of the gaping holes. You had expected yourself to get sick, but you haven't yet. And with the ceiling the way it is, on clear days you can stare up through the holes and see the bright blue sky, peeking out through the breaks in purple clouds.

You can't look for very long because it's so bright, but you like it. It reminds you a little of the humans' planet's sky, with its gentle sun and fluffy clouds. It also reminds you little of Skaia, although you never saw many prophecies in the clouds. Too busy scurrying around and trying to keep the timeline intact...

You are possibly the only troll who has definitely positive memories of SGRUB. You certainly weren't enjoying it much at the time, but it brought you back to life. It gave you another chance. It gave all of you another chance, even those who may not have deserved it. The only troubling thing is how you're back on Alternia. If you had won properly, shouldn't you have gained The Ultimate Reward, and been allowed into the humans' universe? Something about it doesn't sit well with you but... you don't really like thinking about it. Everything else is too good to be spoiled with such thoughts.

So yes, happy thoughts. Happy thoughts of nice things and oh for God's sake you were being happy why did he have to start trolling you?

You contemplate simply ignoring him. You have been avoiding any confrontation with him, real or virtual, for just under a sweep. He has, however, caught you at a somewhat exposed moment.

\-- centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling apocalypseArisen [AA] \--

CT: D -->Uh  
CT: D --> Hello  
AA: what is it equius?  
CT: D --> Well  
CT: D --> Ahem

From the way he's acting, you already know what it's about. Your blood-pusher begins to beat rather harder than it should be.

CT: D --> I was thinking  
CT: D --> As the Imperial Drones are soon to be calling  
CT: D --> That you would be interested in some sort of arrangement

You saw this coming a mile off, even without Nepeta's warnings and pesterings about it. No Godtier powers necessary. This is going to be awkward to the extreme.

AA: what sort of arrangement?  
AA: or rather what quadrant?  
CT: D --> Does this mean that  
CT: D --> You are willing to comply  
AA: i am asking which quadrant

This is more awkward than anyone could possibly comprehend ever. You can only thank the God you don't really believe in that no one else is around to see this. You have been very carefully avoiding anything quadrant-related since the hive sharing with Sollux and Equius ended, but this guy obviously hasn't. Typical, just when you thought that, maybe, your troubles were finally over...

CT: D --> I feel that that matter is  
CT: D --> Uh  
CT: D --> Relying mainly on your decision  
CT: D --> Or rather  
CT: D --> I am 100% willing to allow it to

Just... keep calm, Aradia, keep calm. Keep calm, be grown up about it, think logically. You dealt with your own death, and you can deal with this.

Although dying honestly felt easier.

AA: i am not saying that i agree  
AA: but black would be my preference  
CT: D --> Oh  
CT: D --> Alright that is fine with me  
CT: D --> So it is a possibility?

So. Awkward. Oh well, at least no towels have been mentioned... yet.

You take a deep breath before typing your reply. Your cheeks feel hotter than they should be and you know you must be blushing, both from the awkwardness and the... the feelings you admit to harboring towards this particular troll.

Well, now seems as good a time as any...

AA: yes  
AA: i do like being in a quadrant with you equius  
AA: but i feel that i am not really in that stage of my life  
AA: and since i now have more freedom than i would have previously i dont really want to be pressured into it  
AA: no drone will be coming for me  
CT: D --> Alright then  
CT: D --> Gosh  
AA: please dont mention towels

You hesitate for a moment, before typing your response as quickly as possible and logging off Trollian before there is even the slightest chance that he can reply.

AA: but i admit to waxing black for you

\-- apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased trolling centaursTesticle [CT] \--

Perhaps one of the worst things about that conversation was that pretty much every word, from your end at least, was true.

You are black for Equius Zahhak.

And you have been attempting to avoid this conclusion for quite some time.


	11. > Be Eridan again.

> Be Eridan again.

Whoa! Hold your aquatic hoofbeasts! You've forgotten Tavros! Besides, what made you think it would go in a loop like that anyway?

> Fine then. Be Nitram.

You are now Tavros Nitram. Any other troll might be angry that he had almost been forgotten, and left until last, but you're fine with it. The whole hate and anger thing has never really applied to you, and there's no reason that it should now.

Nope, you are in fact very happy right now! You are usually pretty happy. You and your friends are alive. You have legs, even if they are metal. You can walk, and therefore finally resume living your life the way it was before your, uh, 'accident'. That's what you still call it. So things haven't changed that much, and you like it. You still have all of your fairy and Pupa Pan posters up, if only mainly because you're too attached to take them down, but you have finally had the chance to tidy up a bit. Your recuperacoon still detracts from a decent day's sleep, so you prefer piles now. But not much else has changed. Sometimes, when you wake up, you forget that anything happened at all. It would be pretty easily to do that, actually...

If not for the fact that Tinkerbull is still gone.

You guess you don't mind too much, because you've already experienced his death, but it still hurts if you think about it for too long. Spending the last 12th Perigee alone wasn't very fun... but a few of your friends were nice and chatted to you so that you didn't feel too lonely.

You find it strange thinking about how much time has passed because life seems so normal and the days go so fast! You still want to become a Cavalreaper, and still practice everyday, but on small wild hoofbeasts that you can mentally control. You don't like mentally controlling them much, though, so you have a few favorites who are more used to you and don't mind.

Not that you're sure they ever mind. It's hard to tell when you're controlling them. But it always pays to be polite. Or, uh, it does most of the time...

You are distracted from your thoughts by your husktop beeping cheerfully. You got Sollux to tell you how to modify the sound it makes and be something a bit nicer to hear. He had offered to make it different according to who was trolling you, too, but you declined. You kinda like the surprise and anyway, you doubt that you'd remember which note applied to who.

\-- twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling adiosToreador \--  
TA: hell0.  
AT: uH, hI

You are somewhat curious as to why Sollux would be trolling you. Yeah, you don't hate each other, but you don't really have much in common and don't talk much unless you need help with something computer-related.

AT: sO, uH,,,  
AT: wHAT'S UP?  
TA: 0h g0d  
TA: i'm n0t really sure how t0 say this.  
TA: 0r whether t0 say it at all  
TA: but fuck i've started n0w.

A sense of foreboding is growing steadily in your protein bag and you swallow. Sollux usually just states things openly. Nothing good can come of him acting this way...

AT: wHAT IS IT?  
AT: i, wON'T BE, uH, oFFENDED OR ANYTHING,  
TA: its w0rse than that  
TA: 0r whatever y0ure expecting.  
TA: i really didn't want to be the assh0le wh0 had t0 st0p the end0thermic expl0sion device but i guess every0ne else is just an even bigger assh0le than i am s0 that just left me as the least shitty  
TA: y0u see

Sollux pauses and you nervously chew on your lip, waiting for his reply despite not being sure whether you want to know.

TA: tavros im s0 s0rry.  
TA: y0ure slated t0 be culled.

You freeze for a moment, but slowly relax, shock and horror diffusing to become more of a disappointed acceptance. You had been so looking forward to proving your worth, of joining the ranks of the Cavalreapers and showing the world that you didn't need legs of flesh to be a great troll...

But it was really just a fantasy. Like the fairies you used to 'believe' in, even though you knew they weren't real. It was good while it lasted, you guess, but you'd always known inside that you'd never get a chance at living your dream.

TA: y0u 0k?  
TA: i'm s0 s0rry tavr0s  
AT: nO  
AT: iT'S OK,  
AT: i GUESS i ALWAYS, nEW IT,,  
AT: sORT OF,  
AT: aRE YOU,,, cOMPLETELY SURE, tHOUGH?

Vriska would call you an idiot and you almost agree with her in a way, but you can't just let go of the idea that maybe it's a mistake... or even a joke or some kind... because things have been going to well and you don't want that to stop.

TA: yeah.  
TA: it says it pretty plainly.  
TA: th0ugh y0u're still d0wn as being paralyzed. there's s0mething really 0ff ab0ut it.  
TA: like VK's d0wn as having l0st an arm and an eye and 0bvi0usly she has them back n0w.  
TA: and she's t00 high up f0r them t0 just cull like that.  
TA: it sh0uld have been c0rrected, but it hasn't.  
TA: and i'm d0wn as being blind  
TA: which w0uld make sense but d0esn't because it happened after the game.  
TA: h0w d0 they kn0w? the answer is plain fucking simple and it is that they can't but they d0.  
AT: uHH,,  
TA: yeah actually that's really n0t simple at all.  
TA: but it's imp0ssible.  
TA: there's 0ther stuff t00 but i d0n't think i sh0uld menti0n it here and n0ne 0f it makes any sense, n0t if Sgrub was a thing which i sh0uld fucking kn0w was since i made the damn thing and my plans f0r it are still here.  
AT: wHAT ARE YOU, gETTING AT?

Something suspiciously akin to hope is starting to spread inside of you. You don't want it to be crushed again, but it won't go away and you don't really want it to.

TA: s0mething else is g0ing 0n, 0bvi0usly, alth0ugh i d0n't kn0w what yet.  
TA: serket kn0ws s0me stuff.  
TA: she's n0t being very useful th0ugh and it's suspici0us and ann0ying as fuck.  
TA: she was the 0ne wh0 t0ld me t0 hack the database in the first place alth0ugh why she just didn't TELL ME because she must have kn0wn already is any0ne's guess. and i guess that she was just being a bitch 0n purp0se.  
TA: i d0n't kn0w what shit she's inv0lved in 0r what she's dragging us int0 but  
TA: well  
TA: it might be the 0nly way 0f us making it 0ut alive, if she's telling the truth which i highly d0ubt but it's n0t like we have anything else to g0 0n right n0w.  
AT: wHAT ARE YOU, sUGGESTING?  
AT: oR, wHAT IS SHE SUGGESTING  
AT: rATHER?  
TA: i d0n't kn0w that yet either, but she t0ld me t0 tell y0u and that we had to spread the w0rd am0ngst 0ut gr0up.  
TA: but very carefully, f0r s0me reas0n.  
TA: apparently, encrypti0n d0esn't make things safe  
TA: s0 i am currently typing this in a very dim r00m with the screen light turned right d0wn  
TA: i can 0nly type because i can smell the text.  
TA: y0u're safe th0ugh, apparently.  
AT: uHH,, oK,,,?  
TA: it's weird, i kn0w.  
TA: but it seems t0 be necessary and h0nestly i feel uneasy ab0ut this s0 dignity can g0 self-fill a quadrant.  
TA: has VK sp0ken t0 y0u at all?

You pause a moment to consider the question before you answer. Vriska has spoken to you so little it's almost as if she's been avoiding you... the thing is, though, that you're not exactly disappointed. One of her favorite pastimes was bullying you, once, and you've considered the vast lessening of this practice to be a good thing, rather than suspicious or strange.  
Now that you think about it, though...

AT: uHH, nO  
AT: nOT REALLY,  
AT: oNCE OR, tWICE BUT, uH,,  
AT: sHE SEEMED,,, yOU, uH, KNOW,  
AT: tHE SAME AS SHE, aLWAYS HAS BEEN,  
AT: tOWARDS ME, aNYWAY,  
TA: s0 like a complete bitch, right?  
AT: i GUESS, yOU COULD, sAY THAT YEAH  
AT: iT WAS A FEW PERIGEES AGO, tHOUGH,  
TA: s0mething weird is g0ing 0n with her.  
TA: but fuck it i've g0tta give y0u these files.  
TA: they sh0w 0ur statuses. y0u have t0 tell the 0thers and y0u kn0w h0w they can be, this is pr00f  
TA: i'll spread the w0rd t00 but it needs t0 be d0ne as quickly as p0ssible.  
AT: rIGHT!  
AT: i WILL DO THAT!  
AT: uH,,,  
AT: sOLLUX?  
TA: what is it?  
AT: i'M SCARED

It's a few moments before he answers, while in the meantime you've practically worn a hole through your lower lip. Things had been so simple and you had been enjoying it, enjoying not having to fight for your life. You don't like the way things are going now at all.

His answer is both surprising and strangely saddening.

TA: yeah  
TA: s0 am i

\-- twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling adiosToreador \--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story is starting like FINALLY............................


	12. > Karkat: Prepare to abscond the fuck out of here.

> Karkat: Prepare to abscond the fuck out of here.

It has been decided: you are running away, far away, before there is even the slightest possibility of anyone finding out your fucked-up blood and killing you on sight, which you are 100% sure is what would happen as soon as anyone not part of your circle of friends would do, if they were a sentient fucking being.

You've already packed everything you might need – clothes; food for a few nights; weapons obviously; and a few personal treasures you can't resist taking with you, including the hand-drawn picture of your late lusus which was previously stuck to your thermal hull, (not that you’re gonna let anyone see it, though). Unfortunately you don't have a wireless husktop so you will be using your speaker-crab for communication, which could prove to be a bitch but it's not like you have any other choice.

You are going to stay with Terezi. No, you haven't actually asked her yet... but she mentioned it once a few perigees ago and you expect the offer is still open... or you hope it is...

...please...?

Besides, asking her would be incredibly awkward. It is better, you are sure, just to turn up and give her literally no choice if she wants to remain your friend. As much as you would rather stay with Gamzee, him being your moirail and having definitely offered already, he just lives way too far away to make it in the time you have. Better to go to Terezi's place first, and then move on if (or more like when) she becomes unbearable. You've been meaning to check up on Gamzee anyway: chatting online doesn't really cut it.

Nothing can possibly go wrong, you're sure... Oh fuck, who're trying to kid? Everything is going to go wrong.

(Too many problems.)

(And feelings.)

(Neither of which you are going to dwell on now.)

But you've still got to try. You didn't kill all those imps, fight the Black King, not sleep for weeks, and outsmart a virtually invincible demon just to die on your own home planet. That would be, you are sure, the dumbest thing in the whole history of paradox space that has ever happened and ever will happen.

You're one of the only people in your group who has never died in the main timeline.

And you intend to stay that way.

> Be someone else.

You are now Aradia again. You are not very happy because Vriska Serket, (the bitch), has just half-persuaded, half-bullied you into going back to the frog temple – a place you have been purposely avoiding since you ever got back. But she says it's important and... well, you also just got a message from your future-self.

Also saying that it is important.

So you go.

Down to the underground, swinging from your whip with a practiced smoothness that actually surprises you. It's been sweeps since you last did that -- since before the game had even begun -- and you had been sure you wouldn't remember how.

But it seems that what the mind forgets, the body remembers.

Your landing isn't so smooth, however, and you stagger slightly as you land atop the ragged green stone where the frog’s head once was. There's an odd pattern to what's been fixed and what's been left broken, if there even is one at all. You desecrated this temple, and it has remained a frog with no head. Odd, considering that every modification to everyone's hives have been repaired... There are still a great many mysteries that you have been unable to solve, or even start a reasonable theory for... Maybe it’ll be easier when you meet up with the others and put your heads together?

Then again, it probably doesn't matter now that the game is over. The constructs are more like left-overs, serving no purpose but to bring back often-painful memories about a past experience.

You enter the temple and look around. It's dim, but you can see enough. Enough to see that it is exactly how you last remember it and that there doesn’t seem to be a single reason for you to be down here.

...That bitch. You hate her. You didn't before and you probably should have, and now that it's all over you probably shouldn't... but  _damn_ is it hard when you rarely get anything but insults from her. Plus... you can't say you dislike the feeling of pure platonic hatred either. It is something you missed out on for a very, very long time.

Still, you continue on, despite not being in the best of moods. You explore the whole of the temple. It is exactly how you remember it – cold, and completely devoid of anything worth your attention. Except (perhaps) that the lotus time capsule thingy is gone. But then of course it is – no use for it now, is there?

You're grumpily making your way back when you notice it.

And stop.

And stare.

It's the small brown object you found inside that strange puppety thing, the day the meteor fell and first granted you access to the temple. Strange... you don't remember leaving it here...

Cautiously you pick it up. It's a little worn, but otherwise in perfect condition. You open it up, slowly, beat pump speeding up a little. You open it and and you find...

You find...

You find...!

...!

...!

...!

...Absolutely nothing! It's as empty as you left it when you first left it here, which was a while ago but still definitely happened. You remember it, now that your memory’s been jogged: you literally just dropped it when it ceased to serve a purpose.

You chuck it back onto the floor in disgust. Damn that stupid spider bitch, screwing you around like that! She was probably just bored, the sly little scorpion! It's because of your blood, isn't it? Just because you're lowest on the hemospectrum she thinks she can mess you around! Well, you killed her once, AND made it to God Tier as well, so you're just as good as her, if not better!

Grumbling to yourself, you exit the temple, managing to swing and scrabble your way out of the hole without even thinking about how you're doing it.

Then, just as you manage to poke your head up, the ground shakes with an earth-shattering explosion that almost sends you tumbling down again.

You scrabble on the rim, just managing to pull yourself up and over and away from the rock and dirt beginning to crumbling into the hole. Earth falls away behind you and you scrabble a little further, just in case.

Your bloodpusher is thudding hard in your chest and you realize just how close you were to death, again, or at least serious injury.

Then you turn back to your hive and feel your face drain of blood.

There is no hive. Just ash, ash and smoking grass. And high in the sky like a little red wasp... is an imperial drone.

Not the bucket-kind. Oh no. No, it's the culling kind.

A culling drone just destroyed your hive.

Your hive. Which you had been in less than an hour ago.

Did Vriska just... did she... no...

Did Vriska Serket just _save your life?????_

You have your husktop with you because she told you to take it. In fact, you have most of your things because she told you to take them. Future-you helped, of course, but... but...

...Shit. You do not want to be in debt to Vriska Serket. No way in hell... Although it looks as though you already are, whether you like it or not.

Speaking of the she-devil...

You open your husktop and log back on to Trollian. Vriska is messaging you again.

\-- arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling apocalypseArisen [AA] \--

AG: Soooooooo...  
AG: Has it happened yet?  
AA: vriska  
AA: what  
AA: the  
AA: HELL?  
AG: Considering that I just saved your neck  
AG: Don't you think you could 8e perhaps a *little* more gr8ful?  
AA: you planned this  
AA: i know you did  
AA: what the hell are you doing?  
AG: Siiiiiiiigh  
AG: Of course I didn't plan it, idiot. I don't want you do DIE, especially not after you've already done it so much.  
AG: Honest! ::::)  
AA: then how did you know?  
AA: and why the hell didn't you just tell me?!  
AG: Seriously?  
AG: If a spider8itch, who had gotten you killed 8efore, had told you straight that a drone was coming to inciner8 your hive, you would have 8elived her? You would have just packed up everything and left? Please, even you aren't that easily fooled.

You falter slightly. She does have a point. But that doesn't mean that you believe her just yet.

AA: well then why couldnt someone else have told me?!  
AG: Wow, m8y8e you ARE that stupid! Can you n8me a troll who would seirously have done that for me? There is some really 8asic logic you're missing out on here.  
AG: Well, I guess I could have manipul8ted your lispy fuck of a 8oyfriend, 8ut that would've 8een kinda mean.  
AA: dont call him that!  
AG: Siiiiiiiigh.  
AG: Ok whatever.  
AA: how did you know it was going to happen anyway?  
AG: Sollux hacked the d8ta8ase and sent the list to me. He didn't have a good look at it, o8viously.  
AG: You're still listed as dead, 8ut as you can see, that hasn't stopped them from trying to get rid of you.  
AG: It was listed as 'clearing sp8ce'. Which is 8ullshit. 8ecause o8viously they expected you to still 8e in your hive.  
AG: So that you would die.  
AG: Again.

She is frustratingly correct. You attempt to find some fault or flaw in her explanation, but you feel too tired and too shaken to put much effort in. Besides, there probably isn't one. Which is sort of the worst thing about this mess.

AA: urrrrgh  
AA: it hurts my fingers to type this  
AA: but  
AA: thank you  
AA: i guess  
AG: You're welcome! ::::D  
AG: So...  
AG: Does this mean we're sort of even now?  
AA: we were already even  
AA: did you forget somehow? perhaps i hit you too hard.

The hint is very clear, and thank God, she gets it.

AG: W8  
AG: I mean  
AG: Oh never mind then.  
AG: I guess I just kinda hoped that  
AG: You would stop h8ing me?  
AA: hmmmm...  
AA: i will consider it  
AG: Thanks, I think........  
AG: I'm trying to m8ke up for it.  
AG: Trying to m8ke up for everything!  
AG: Although I can see that it's going to t8ke a long time ::::/ You're all pretty sceptical a8out shit and while that is a good thing in a w8y it is also really really annoying.  
AA: why?  
AG: Huh?  
AA: why would you try to make up for it?  
AA: i thought you enjoyed being a psychopathic bitch  
AG: Er, ow?  
AA: you know what i mean!  
AG: Yeah, it's hells of fun. 8ut it gets old.  
AG: I guess I just want people to like me? To give a shit if I died?  
AG: Is that so wrong?

She seems... sincere. It's odd. You haven't spoken to Vriska much (thank God), but on the few occasions you have, she's been pretty much the same manipulative bitch she always has been. This is an odd change of pace and you are suspicious. She could well be lying, which would be easy over a chat client.

AA: huh  
AG: ANYWAY.  
AG: As much as I just loooooooove talking to someone who h8s me in the most platonic way possible........  
AG: I have to get on I'm in the middle of some sort of jungle right now and I can hear an ominous sort of rustling in the 8ushes 8ehind me.  
AG: Good8ye.

\-- arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling apocalypseArisen [AA] \--

AA: a jungle? you expect me to believe that?  
AA: vriska?  
AA: oh what the hell of course you do

You sign off, stand up, and look around. Well, not much point in going back to your hive now, is there? There's even less of it than there was before!

Heaving a heavy sigh, you turn back to the gaping hole in the ground. The frog temple it is, then. At least, until you can find some place to stay that doesn't involve awkward emotions and impossible n-drangles forming. So not either of the people romantically interested in you. Yay.

...Kinda ironic that you're the only person who might have both quadrants sorted and yet also the only person who isn't being pushed to fill them.

It's hard being officially written off as dead and yet having culling drones sent to incinerate your hive anyway. It's hard and nobody understands.


	13. > Terezi: Plot and Scheme

> Terezi: Plot and Scheme.

You are now Terezi once again!

You are still the Seer of Mind and you know perfectly well that Karkat Vantas will be arriving at your doorstep in less than one night's time, seeking asylum like a little lost wiggler. You honestly cannot wait.

You have it all planned out – exactly what you'll do, exactly what you'll say. What glorious mind games you'll play with his nice soft mind! Not too cruel, though, because you don't _hate_ him, but enough to make him squirm. Enough to get his guard down.

 _Hopefully_ enough to discover what he really thinks and feels about you.

It has been an odd two sweeps between the two of you. His attitude – everyone’s attitude, really – was to act as if quadrants (or at least not ones already filled) didn’t even exist. And you were completely fine with that. You needed time: time to recover from the game, from having your life turned upside down and shaken around a good few times. Other things, too, but those are things that... you try not to dwell on. Things you should’ve been over a long time ago, now.

(Dave’s absence still hurts, sometimes. When you think about him too hard for too long.)

(But at least you’re confident you’re not gonna rebound onto to the first poor troll who feels even the slightest inclination of interest now.)

(It wasn’t easy in the beginning.)

But now... Well, ‘now’ is something else! Everyone is confused and quadrants are all over the place and unless someone actually up and does something, none of you are going to last your first drone visit.  
And since nobody does seem to be about to up and do something, you've taken it upon your own shoulders to sort this mess out. Not by acting as quadmaker, either – if things work out how you want them to, nobody should even have to meet the drones.

And although your plan is still in it's first sketchy stages in a way that basically makes it not a plan but more of a collection of ideas... well, you have three perigees to work on it.

And that is enough.

> Vriska: Leave this pile of crap behind!

You youth-roll from the temple entrance just as the whole thing crumbles around you, sealing the entrance permanently. Ancient relics and forgotten history, now lost forever beneath a mountain of stone...

It is really, really dumb and you also really, really don't have the time for it. It's just a pile of rocks!

But you have emerged victorious, with all the data and image files you needed, as well as a few trinkets you couldn't quite help picking up. Old habits die hard, you guess. It is _such_ lovely shade of red, though, all glittery too, and you quickly slip it around your neck, tucking the charm into your T-shirt front so that there's no chance anyone could see it. Not that they'd be likely to understand its meaning, but... well, can't take any chances. Besides, it's yours now and it will stay that way.

And now for the frustratingly long and irkesomely perilous journey back, through the sweltering jungle with its biting bugs. You were promised this would be like FLARP. It isn't. But the current quest is complete, and you can return to your hive for a few nights before the next mission comes up. Hopefully. They work you to the bone sometimes just because they can.

It has been so long since you've slept in a recuperacoon regularly that the daymares don't even bother you anymore. But it sure as hell is more comfortable than a flimsy little mat and blankets and the sopor does wonders for bites and bruises. You  _simply cannot wait_ to get home this time.

Machete in hand, you start off back into the jungle. Ugh, you will be here for a long time, a long time made even more boring by the fact that you can't even nightdream in case you lose focus and get lost, which ok yeah, you have done before.

> Hours in the future (but not many)...

Lousy stupid goddamn animals with their lousy stupid goddamn claws which break your lousy stupid goddamn machete...!

> Vriska: Run.

You _are_ running, moron! Running for your life from a gigantic scalebeast, big enough to rival a full-grown dragon in size. Fuck it, just when things were looking up for you, too!

Your hand is clamped tightly against your right side, but blue blood is trickling through your fingers scarily fast. You don't know what to do except run. You've never been in a situation like this before and every search for an intelligent way out comes up blank. Instincts are the only way to go now so you _run_.

he dumb animal must've been stalking you for some time, but you hadn't even noticed! It'd come out of nowhere as soon as you'd stopped to rest and has been pursuing you ever since – probably following the  trail of distinctively succulent blood you're leaving behind. Luckily it can’t keep up high speeds for very long (a lizard thing, according to the minuscule amount of research you did before heading out), but the blood thing, that’ll lead it anywhere you go... You don't know how long its been following you, but it's been too long – the jungle has become a forest, the climate has cooled, and it's getting worryingly close to sunrise.

Which means, obviously, that you are running out of time.

You need to find a clearing... or something... somewhere where there's enough room to fight, or at least attempt to! You have your dice but they're no use here – throwing them just means you risk losing one or two or more among the leaves and plants... but you're starting to slow down and you've lost way too much blood for this shit and the world is tipping and spinning and—

Suddenly you trip and then you're falling, tumbling over and over down a sharp incline and into a muddy riverbank, leaves and dirt and rocks cascading down with you. You hit the mud and slide into the stream, kicking and flailing in a fruitless attempt at righting yourself.

There is an approximately five-second gap before the scalebeast appears on the bank above you, hungry black eyes glaring down. Five seconds, but it is enough. You get up, brace your feet, and face the threat. It's now or never.

Blinking blood from your eyes you reach with your mind. You are still the Thief of Light. So you steal its luck and roll your dice.

Guillotine de la Marquise flashes into existence, just as you had wanted it to. The scalebeast looks vaguely confused for a moment, foot conviviality trapped beneath a protruding root that conveniently means it cannot move an inch from where it stands, before the blade comes slicing smoothly down... followed shortly by the creature’s head, except that moves a little less smoothly and oh shit.

You manage to dodge to the side just in time to avoid being hit. Swaying dizzily you wade through the shallow stream and onto the opposite bank, where you collapse, panting. Well, it could be worse, you reason – you're still alive. You could not be. That was a closer call than you like to think... damn, you need to get used to the idea of mortality again soon!

As the darkness closes around your vision you watch the indigo blood spill into the stream, and your last coherent thoughts are that you really, really hope that that lusus' possible troll never finds out that it was you who killed it...

And then you fall unconscious.

> Now be someone else. Because I'm evil.

You are now Nepeta, and you have just chickened out of confessing to Karkitty.

You feel like such a scaredy cat! You were talking to him and everything and got into the perfect position to say it... and then you let it go! You just couldn't do it. Your hands sort of just froze and then—  
Oh, who are you kidding? You got too freaked out and just let him ramble on, blowing your chance completely.

It probably wouldn't work anyway. You're pretty sure he had flushed feelings for Terezi and it's just a silly crush anyway and... and...

And you still want him. You've always wanted him and it hurts. It hurts and nobody understands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bluh I hate trying to write Nepeta.


	14. > Right, now be Eridan again.

> Right, now be Eridan again.

(Provided you even _want_ to be this douche. Which you probably don't.)

You are not Eridan again. Eridan doesn't want you to be him. He wants you to leave him alone while he quietly despairs over his quadrants and impending doom and ignores everyone trying to contact him over Trollian, which is a surprisingly large number today.

So you do the next best thing and be Kanaya.

> Kanaya: Attempt to meddle with Eridan.

You do not 'meddle' with anyone! Besides, you know there isn't much point in trying to contact Mr. Ampora – he rarely answers you, even though you are the only one he'll talk to. And he'd probably miss you under the growing pile of messages he's receiving, even if he was in the mood for replying.

For the last fifteen minutes or so, all you have received from your friends are either urging you to make said seatroll answer them (completely pointless) or asking you to pass a message on to him (also completely pointless). You'd put up with it normally but this is getting completely ridiculous. For one thing, pretty much everyone on your contacts list is trying to get your attention and for another, you never _did_ get back to sleep last night. You, having the patience of a saint, are still online, attempting to convince them that there really is nothing you can do. Eridan will only answer if he wants to.

Oh, and in one of the very few messages addressed to you personally, it was revealed that you have been slated for culling.

For being a rainbow drinker, no less.

This is just insulting.

So you are in an even worse mood than when you first got out of your recuperacoon.

You have just finished a lengthy and exhausting debate with Karkat, of all people, about the 'fish-faced jackass' who was managing to drive him up the wall without even doing anything and that is the fucking problem, and the exchange has left you too tired and too irritated to deal with anyone else.

You log off, shut down and captchalogue your husktop, pick up your handy lipstick/chainsaw and leave your hive. You have the urge to feel the sun a little, and if you are quick enough you should be able to make it to the frog temple before any of the undead get a whiff of you.

Yes, the frog temple is still there. As is Aradia's. They just don't seem to serve a purpose anymore. Still, yours makes a nice little home-away-from-home when you need it to.

Such as now.

You scramble up the cracked and crumbling steps just as the first mangled hand, dry, cracked skin peeling back to reveal a mess of fat and muscle and bone, gropes up from beneath the sands. You quickly disappear inside. They _technically_ shouldn't be a problem for you, since you are _technically_ one of them… but nobody seems to have told them that. They hunt you as they would hunt any living troll, and that is not something that has been in any of the novels you have ever read. Thankfully the damage they can do is limited due to your own state, but a large enough hoard could probably kill you... and besides, you like your clothes.

Within the depths of the temple, you retrieve a nice comfy cushion from your sylladex and settle yourself down upon it. You have also brought your sewing kit, and are considering continuing one of your many projects. You do them mostly to fill the time. No one really wants them and they aren't for anybody in particular… although you do fantasize a little about what sorts of clothes you would make for your friends, which colors and patterns and fabric…

You doze for a few minutes, leaning against the cool stone wall, until you decide that you've been ignoring everyone for long enough that they've given up on trying to contact you. Then you turn your husktop back on.

Four people immediately start attempting to troll you again, but after scanning their messages, you decide to ignore them. You are only going to talk to someone if it is definitely important and not something you know already.

You set your husktop aside and begin sewing. You're not 100% awake so it takes longer than it should do to get some decent work done. But it's a calming process, the steady rhythm created by the push and pull of the needle, the satisfaction that comes from making a perfect stitch. After you've finished a small embroidered design on a skirt you're working on, you're feeling a lot more like yourself again – calm, for one thing, and far less irritated.

Then Eridan starts trolling you.

You hesitate, needle poised to begin another stitch as you stare at the purple text.

Then you sigh, and begin typing.

\-- caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA] \--

CA: uh  
CA: hi kan  
CA: sorry i guess  
CA: for earlier i mean  
CA: it wwas out a order  
GA: Please Do Not Apologize  
GA: It Is So Unlike You  
CA: youre the only one puttin up wwith me  
CA: i should at least be polite to you  
GA: You Sound Depressed Again  
GA: Please Do Not Be Depressed  
CA: it doesnt matter kan  
CA: wwell all die soon anywway  
CA: wwell  
CA: wwe should  
CA: someone wwill probably pull some shit though and savve at least half of us though  
CA: thats howw it wworks aint it  
GA: Eridan Please  
GA: No One Is Going To Die  
GA: We Will Figure Something Out And Everyone Will Pull Through  
GA: I Promise  
CA: thanks kan  
GA: Eridan  
GA: Are You Alright

He pauses just a second too long.

CA: yeah a course  
GA: You Know You Could Talk To Me About It  
GA: You Say That You Have No Desire For A Moirail And Yet You Continue To Treat Me Like One And Honestly I Think You Need One  
CA: shit  
CA: sorry i can shut up if you wwant me to  
GA: No  
GA: It Is Perfectly Alright In Fact I Am Happy To Have Your Company  
GA: I Merely Think That If We Are To Become Pale We Should At Least Make It Somewhat Official  
CA: no  
CA: im sorry  
CA: you shouldnt havve to listen to my shit  
CA: i dont wwanna do that to anyone again  
CA: im so sorry kan  
GA: No  
GA: Stop  
GA: Eridan You Are Being Ridiculous  
GA: Everyone Is Worried For You  
GA: Karkat For One Is Convinced That You Are Purposely Harming Yourself And I Cannot Blame Him For Making That Assumption  
GA: Please Talk To The Others Eridan  
GA: At Least To Convince Them That You Are Still Alive And That I Have Not Been Simply Making Up Our Conversations  
GA: I Have Had To Send Screenshots Of Our Logs On More Than One Occasion Simply To Prove That They Are Real  
CA: fuck im sorry im causin so much trouble kan  
CA: but i cant  
CA: i just fuckin cant  
CA: ive tried but im so scared of wwhat theyll say  
CA: i dont reply but i read  
CA: so that i dont miss anythin big like a second apocalypse or shit  
CA: i know im slated for cullin for some shit reason  
CA: but i just cant talk to them kan  
GA: If Such A Thing Existed On This Planet I Believe That I Would Submit You To Therapy  
CA: as youvve said like a thousand times before  
CA: but this is besides the point you see  
CA: please take this seirously  
CA: look ill even drop my dumb accent  
CA: im so grateful that youve been here for me  
CA: youre like my anchor kan  
CA: i need you  
GA: You Do Not Need To Thank Me Eridan  
GA: I Am Only Doing What Is Natural As A Friend  
GA: I Will Be Here For As Long As You Need Me  
CA: thank you  
CA: i needed to hear that

\-- caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA] \--

Eridan Ampora is a ridiculously frustrating person to moirail.

Mostly because as soon as he realizes you're trying to act as one, he either changes the subject or stops talking altogether.

Yes, you killed him. Yes, your relationship with him is weird.

Yes, you said before that you didn't want to start a moirailship with anyone ever again after the fiasco with Vriska and all you messed-up feelings.

But this is different. Well before the game - and before you found each other to be mutually unbearable - you and he had been friends. Good friends. Nothing near any of the quadrants, and he had had Feferi then, but the two of your had still been pretty close.

And now he needs you more than he’s needed anyone before, and you can talk to him about anything and still have complete confidence that he won’t spread it around... The relationship is far from unbalanced.

And it just... fits. You are pale for him. He is a walking disaster of a troll who made several lifetimes' worth of mistakes, desperately denies the help he needs and is therefore one of the most pitiful bastards the planet has to offer.

You are pale for him and he continues you reject the fact that he needs you and it is getting very frustrating... but it continues to work regardless.

You wonder why he contacted you this time. It wasn't merely for idle conversation – he usually starts those with a simple 'how are you', and the conversation rarely deviates away from your latest projects, the weather, how much the undead annoy you, and other small matters of little interest. Still, it's nice to talk to him.

This time, however... it was more as if he was... saying goodbye.

You are suddenly so, so worried about him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whispers into the breeze:
> 
> ~~~I am so, so sorry for using the uncharacteristic post-game Eridan stereotype~~~
> 
> ~~~But there is literally nothing I can do without changing literally the whole plot~~~


	15. > Hours in the Future...

 

> Hours in the future...

It's happening.

The inevitable.

The event you have always known would happen ever since you came back to you planet and discovered your lusus to be gone.

...You're just sort of surprised at how many of these Threshecutioners aren't actually sea-dwellers, and are in fact mostly land-dwellers wearing special breathing apparatus. Although you guess you shouldn't be, since very few violets would settle for the 'low' position of a soldier.

But you can tell they have been trained specifically for underwater battles. They move like sea-dwellers, and hang in the water with expert ease. There are so many. You are surrounded and alone. So, so alone. More alone than you ever have been in your whole life. Your feeble weapon isn't enough to take them all on (although you'll fight to the death, you swear), and you have nothing else to fight with other than your own fists and claws and teeth.

They are not enough either.

This may well be the end...

But there's just one thing you have to do.

\-- cuttlefishCuller [CC] began trolling caligulasAquarium [CA] \--

CC: )(ello  
CC: -Eridan?  
CC: I guess you still don't want to talk to me 38(  
CC: And I guess I can't really blame you.  
CC: I just t)(ink you s)(ould know t)(hat t)(is will probably be our last conversation.  
CC: Or t)(he last time I contact you.  
CC: The Threchecutioners )(ave come.  
CC: T)(ey are surrounding my )(ive 38(  
CC: T)(ere's not)(ing I can do to stop t)(em and I have more dignity than to try to run away.  
CC: And I'm sorry for w)(at I've done.  
CC: So sorry.  
CC: I've always t)(oug)(t t)(at  
CC: Maybe  
CC: If I'd been a proper friend to you  
CC: None of the stuff in the Veil would )(ave )(appened.  
CC: It's a bit late t)(ou)(, )(u)(?  
CC: I guess  
CC: I just wanted to say goodbye.  
CA: feferi

You stop.

And stare.

Eridan has replied. For the first time in literally sweeps, _Eridan has replied_. A strange feeling, warm and sweet, seems to bloom inside you, soft and comforting. He decided to answer, the last time you would ever speak. Fuchsia tears prick at your eyes as you regard the screen. He's only written one word, but it's enough to make you realize just how much you have missed his particular shade of purple.

CA: feferi im not gonna let you die  
CA: look out a the window

Slowly you turn, and look.

The fear that fills you has nothing to do with your own small, insignificant life.

Eridan hangs in the water outside, stripped of his scarf and his cape. He's wearing his alchemised computer glasses and clutching Ahab's Crosshairs in his hands. His back is straight, his shoulders back. You can see his gills pumping as his T-shirt drifts in the light current, the tender violet filaments beneath the pulsing opercula... It is not a sight you have ever seen before.

He is facing the advancing army.

Dread, like icy water fresh from the mountains, replaces every semblance of warmth within you. No... No, please, he's not... he wouldn't...

You are so shocked, so horrified, that you almost miss his next words. Almost, but not quite. It's a good thing you don't.

CA: im sorry it had to be this way feferi  
CA: id hoped i could make it up to you  
CA: but in the end i was just a fuckin coward as usual  
CA: maybe this is how i can make things ok

\-- caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC] \--

> Eridan: Prepare

You are about to engage in what will be the first, and very possibly last, large-scale battle of your life. The one with the Black King didn't count – it wasn't just you fighting. You had allies. Now, you're on your own. It's almost poetic, like the tales of those legendary conquerors that once fascinated you so much. Poetic and stupid and really fucking scary if you let it feel that way, but actually it's surprisingly easy to shove that feeling down and ignore in favour of getting shit done.

It had dawned on you, slowly, that this was always going to happen. That it was an inevitable event. You did not see it at first, you did not want to see it, and if you had you would have one a lot of things differently. Like actually prepared for it instead of just curling up in your hive and wallowing in your own misery like the selfish idiot you are.

But it's too late for that, so you're better off just thinking about it. You don't have much time and, if Feferi is to have any chance of living at all... you're gonna need backup.

\-- caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA] --

CA: uh  
CA: hey  
TA: wh0a  
TA: seri0usly  
TA: y0u are seri0usly tr0lling me?  
TA: heck, y0u're still alive?  
CA: yeah  
CA: look i dont got a lot a time  
CA: goddamn threshecutioners are coming on fast and trust me theres LOADS of them  
CA: probably an entire battalion  
CA: empress aint takin any chances i can see  
TA: what  
TA: what are y0u talking ab0ut?  
CA: look  
CA: fef cares about you way too much to ask you herself  
CA: but i cant possibly handle them all on my own  
CA: i just have to hold out for a while  
CA: until you show up  
CA: as im seriously hopin you will or else fef dont got a chance  
CA: shit i shouldve been better prepared for this  
TA: wait s0 this is it?  
TA: the assassins?  
TA: fef menti0ned s0mething ab0ut them 0nce but i guess  
TA: i d0n't even kn0w what i thought  
CA: thought it wouldnt be so soon maybe  
TA: yeah  
CA: fuck me neither  
CA: but please just come here as soon as you can  
CA: im even being all nice and civil and hopefully you can read what im sayin because ive dropped that dumb quirk and it feels fuckin unnatural  
CA: this is the god honest truth i swear  
TA: i  
TA: shit  
TA: 0f c0urse im c0ming  
CA: great  
CA: how long will it take you aprox  
TA: 0h g0d i d0n’t know  
TA: maybe an h0ur at full speed?  
TA: can y0u last that l0ng?  
TA: ive already set 0ff  
CA: ill do my goddamn fuckin best  
CA: an i wont let her die i swear  
CA: if there is one good thin ill acomplish in this peice a shit existence a mine then itll be keepin her alive  
TA: i believe y0u  
CA: thanks  
CA: shit i have to go now theyre advancin fuckin fast  
TA: 0k  
TA: g00d luck

\-- caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA] --

You take a deep gillful of water, if that is even a phrase, and captchalogue your glasses, swapping them for you more conventional pair. You cannot afford to be distracted by messaging at this stage and the text obscures your vision and anyway, you like those glasses. Don't want them smashed.

You swim up, up above the roof of Feferi's palace. The army -- battalion? Army? Same fucking difference is what it looks like -- advances from all sides, but at least you can see them from here. You hope she's had had the sense to hide. You really, really do. Even Ahab's Crosshairs – heck, even a fucking science wand – isn't enough to hold them off for every long. You'll be lucky to last a full hour.

But you can at least try.

You fire first, your gun, a weapon as ancient as the stars and just as strong as when your ancestor first pulled the trigger, sending plumes of blood through the once-clear waters and dying soldiers drifting almost serenely to the sea floor. You are oddly calm, considering the fact that you are probably going to die bruatally the end of a sickle not too far in the future. Everything has taken on a very surreal feeling. All you can think about are the cold, hard facts and that is as big a blessing as you could ever have hoped for.

At the moment, you have a slight advantage – you're long-range and they'll have to get super close before they can do any actual damage, because they were sent in anticipation of a close-range fight... but there are so many, and as soon as they get close, it's over.

One young troll, not yet seven sweeps old (although very nearly, you have to say), against an entire battalion of adult Threshecutioners. You don't have a hope.

But you can at least go down fighting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic only really focuses on one character arc at a time so rest assured that this isn't Eridan-centric
> 
> Also I intend to try to redeem Feferi's canonical badass in the next few chapters 'kay?


	16. > Gamzee: Ponder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blarg this chapter... Can't really decide whether I like it or hate it.

> Gamzee: Ponder.

You have come outside again.

You don't know why. It's daytime, and the sun is scorching down on the back of your neck, so hot it feels like your skin is crumbling to ash as you stand. But you're still outside.

It seems... the right place to be. Like you need to be here. No voices or shit telling you – just a gut feeling. And you can usually trust your gut. Your gut is good. Your gut knows what shit's up even when you don't half the motherfuckin' time.

The sea laps at your feet, and you stare out across the horizon. The sun is behind you, but its reflection glaring is enough to make you squint. It's so damn bright, and you can feel the skin on everything it meets prickling in the way that means it will hurt like a bitch later. You're not supposed to be out in the day, not supposed to be so near the water, either... but something's telling you that you have to be. That it's important.

...You've never realized before just how far you can see when it’s this bright out.

At night, the sea and sky blend together into a smear of darkness; a little less when both moons are full, but it’s still hard to make out where one ends and the other begins. It's meant to be like that because that's what troll eyes are designed to see. But it's much, much clearer now... and you can see a shape just below the horizon... no, more than a shape...

It's Eridan's hive. Huh. You've always known he lived fairly close – well, enough for your catapulted Faygo bottles to reach him, ha – but you've never actually seen his hive before...

You take a step forward... and instantly leap back again as the cold water soaks into your shoe and the words, the only instructions he ever gave to you, ring inside your head:

_Keep away from the ocean._

But still...

Your mind tells you one thing while your gut tells you another. You've never been to sea – never planned to, never wanted to. But now you feel inexplicably drawn towards the vast blue expanse in a way that you never have before.

_Keep away from the ocean._

You twist your hands into the hem of your T-shirt, never once removing your eyes from the small black shape as you engage in a mental war with yourself.

_Keep away from the ocean._

You can see flashes of light against the sky that are nothing to do with the sun on the sea. In the sky above a red form hangs, the white insignia visible even from your distance, unclear but unmistakable. Something bad is going on over there. Something really bad... Something involving guns and fighting and forces sent by the Condesce herself.

_Keep away from the ocean._

Feferi's out there, too, it's something to do with your ocean sister and you have never cursed sopor slime so much because if it hadn't gone and fucked around with your thinkpan so much, maybe you could actually work out what the motherfuck is _happening_. But the answers and information are sliding about all over the place and the words are echoing in your head and you just can't make sense of your own damn mind, let alone work out what to do.

_Keep away from the ocean._

You think of your friends. True, you’re not particularly close to the two out there. Sometimes, when the monsters in your pan making their creeping movements around your thoughts, all you want to do to the motherfuckin' fish freaks is grab them by their slimy little horns and rip their motherfuckin' skulls of their motherfuckin' heads.

But Karkat would be so mad, mad at you and mad at himself and so very upset that two people had died, blood or no blood, and Karkat means the universe to you.

But your late lusus’ words ring loud and clear, and while maybe the old goat had his flaws he was your lusus and you owe him enough to follow the few orders he gave.

So what

The fuck

_Do you do?!?!?!_

> ======>

\-- arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling adiosToreador [AT] \--

AG: excuse me   
AG: i need to 8orrow you for a moment  
AG: hope you don't mind 8ut im in a 8it of a fix  
AT: uHH,,

Suddenly, you are moving so fast that you're at the other end of your hive before you can even comprehend you've even left your husktop. You arms and legs move completely of their own accord. You have no control. And for a moment, all you can think about is how this is exactly like that time on the cliff and wonder how long it will be until she makes you jump off something again.

But she doesn't. Instead, running around your hive is about the only thing she's making you do.Your speculating comes up pretty blank. You find it easy to simply sit back (mentally) and let it happen as you collect various items for all over the place, many of which you'd forgotten you even have.

Then, you're loading everything onto your old four wheeled device, which you keep around pretty much only because you don't know how to get rid of it, and exiting your hive.

This is when you start to get worried again. Where on _Alternia_ is she taking you?

Your robotic legs run a lot faster than your flesh ones ever did. You shoot over the grassy hills like a meteor from the Reckoning, so fast that the world around you blurs into a slur of browns and greens and the pinks, blues and oranges of the dawn-lit sky. You're heading towards a forest that you've never set foot – or wheel – into before and you know that something bad has happened or is about to happen because in all the times that Vriska Serket has messed with you she had never done anything like this.

You enter the trees and your legs instantly stop pumping, just like that. You're sent cannoning into the four wheeled device and nearly knock everything off, but just about manage to regain your balance. Your legs may be robust, but your bloodpusher is pounding so hard you think it might break a rib and the air scrapes your lungs as you struggle to breath.

'V-Vriska?' you call, as soon as you're able to. She must be around somewhere nearby... but you can't see her anywhere... Holy shit, what is happening?

'Over here, dumbass!' a voice replies. A voice that sounds a lot like Vriska's but can't be because Vriska would _never_ sound nearly so weak and exhausted and _holy shit._

She's there, to your right, she's on her hands and knees and she's shaking all over and there's blood and it's her own and she's covered in dirt and leaves and there's blood and she looks likes she's about to faint and there's _blood_ there's _blood_ there is _so much bl—_

'Don't just stand there!' she pants. 'Come and help me!' You stagger towards her but you have no idea what to do and she gives you a look that makes you feel like a blundering wiggler and puts one hand to her temple. Then you're staggering back to the four wheeled device and realizing that most of the stuff she had you put in there was medical supplies. She makes you grab three packets of gauze, four rolls of bandages and a large bottle of antiseptic. Then she rolls onto her back and closes her eyes as you get to your knees beside her and begin the long and horrific task of seeing to her wounds. She can't stop your hands from shaking or tears of fear and stress from running down your face. But you disinfect the gashes in her skin, manage to stem the blood flow and get the white linen wrapped around her body.

She has suffered wounds to her right side, her right arm, and left temple and from the look of them, they've been left exposed for far too long. You hope she'll be alright. Yeah sure she's mean and manipulative but she's also a friend, a friend who has hurt you, killed you, played the biggest game of your life with you and somehow had a part in getting everyone through in the end. You don't want to see her die again oh please don't let her die...

‘I won’t fucking die! I'm not that goddamn _pathetic!_ ' she hisses out through teeth clenched in pain. She was reading your mind. Or course she was. You’re still trying to stop crying, even after you’ve secured everything and capped the bottle and she has relinquished her control. You are beginning to hate yourself for it.

‘Good!’ she snarls, once she’s sure you're done. There wasn't any decent painkiller at your hive so she had to suffer for the whole of the treatment, and everything is horrible. 'Now scrape me off the floor and put me in the damn four wheeled device! I'm too tired to walk and you can't fucking carry me all the way back!'

She doesn't control you this time. You just do it. It's a bit awkward because you have to tip all of the other stuff off while carrying her and then load it onto her lap, but she doesn't seem to mind.

Or maybe she's just too tired to complain.

But eventually she's settled into the chair and sipping from a bottle of water she had you bring, and you've got your hands on the device's handles (you'd never thought it would be this way round _ever_ ) and are steadily pushing your way back up a narrow, winding trail towards you hive.

Vriska doesn't say anything in the journey back. You keep on trying to speak, but every time you open your mouth you completely lose confidence and just close it again. Besides, Vriska would probably just tell you to shut up anyway...

The sun has cleared the horizon by the time you make it back, and you quickly retreat into the cool interior of your hive.

'We're, uh, here,' you say awkwardly. Vriska straightens up a little and glances around.

'Way to state the obvious, Toreasnore,' she mutters, before putting her hands to the wheels and rolling herself further inside, looking around as she goes. You hurry along behind her, wondering whether to say anything or not. Luckily, most of the important stuff is still on the ground floor. You've started to use upstairs again, but mostly just for storage.

'The, um, a-ablutionblock, is at the end of the, the hall,' you stammer, following Vriska along the narrow space and left, into the darkness of the recreationblock. You quickly turn the lights on.

'Thanks,' she replies, rolling herself over to a high-backed armchair, a random peice of junk you got on sale from some long-forgotten website. She gets shakily to her feet before collapsing into it, and sits with the air of someone bravely attempting to salvage their dignity. You guess it must be embarrassing for her, to be like this.

'It there, um, anything I can get you or, uh, do?' you ask, hovering nervously at the entrance to the room, not really sure what to do with yourself.

'Get me a blanket or something,' she snaps, shifting slightly and wincing. 'I'm going to sleep.' She closes both eyes as you hurry from the room, scurrying upstairs to retrieve a clean blanket. When you come down, Vriska appears to be asleep. Or unconscious. Was she concussed? Should someone sleep with a head-injury? She had seemed lucid enough...

You cover her with the blanket as carefully as you can, before switching off the lights and leaving the room, closing the door behind you as quietly as possible.

You stand awkwardly outside of about a minute, before it occurs to you that you should probably be getting some sleep too, and make your way into your respiteblock. Things have just gotten a lot more interesting and... you're not sure if you like it or not...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I were to do an askblog for this fic, would anyone be interested? 'Cause there's a tonne of unanswered questions I'll need to wiggle into the plot otherwise and a separate blog would be way easier.


	17. > Break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rewrote a lot of this one. Hopefully it's better than it was before, though an improvement on something like that shouldn't be hard to achieve.

> Break.

As the plume of violet spreads through the water, drifting almost lazily upwards from the twin slashes across your chest... the only thing you can bring yourself to feel is a vague sense of disappointment.

You'd been doing so well, considering the circumstances. You'd kept them at bay for about thirty-five minutes, which you think is quite a feat considering that there were over a hundred of them and only one of you. The blood ran so thick it clogged your gills, stung your eyes, gave everything a tangy, metallic taste on your tongue that made you want to retch for the clinging filth of it. But you still did well.

Looks like all that angel killing actually came in useful...

Feferi hadn't gone to hide, but this turned out to be something of an advantage. You'd managed to position yourself outside her respiteblock window, meaning that you only had five sides to worry about defending, rather than six. You had tried to keep calm tactical throughout, even as your vision became obscured as blood got into your eyes and the figures loomed from the cloudy mass like demons from the daymares you'd rather forget forever.

Visions of the battle with haunt you for the rest of your nights: monsters with blades for hands and hulking deformities on their bodies will lunge at you from every side and you will be just as powerless to stop them as when that one bastard, with a slash at your face, sent your body spinning and your mind reeling and left you open for that one terrible strike.

You will be haunted, you are sure... if you live to see another night...

You sink, slowly, but no one bothers to finish you off. To end the misery. You aren't important here and you will die insignificantly without them lifting another hand.

Distantly you hear the window breaking, faintly you think you hear Feferi scream. You want to move, but your body isn't responding. Ahab's Crosshairs, heavier than a thousand Alternias, slips from your numb fingers and falls rapidly into the darkness beneath you. You don't think your gills are working. Everything is fading into an ocean of black as you sink lower and lower, towards the distant seafloor. You doubt that you will be conscious when you reach it, but in a way that's a relief because at least it will be fast.

Sollux had better hurry the fuck up or Feferi's just gonna die. Or maybe she's already dead. Maybe you failed in doing the one thing that you thought might just possibly set everything right. That one fear-ridden thought is enough to clear the blackness for a moment, and in that instant, you think you see something darting its way through the muddy mix of blood, moving faster than you're sinking...

But you never see what it is.

> Feferi: Do something badass.

As you watch Eridan start to slowly sink, violet blood blossoming from his chest... you don't feel any fear. The only thing you can feel is an indescribable mix of agony and rage.

It isn't any normal kind of anger. It is a rage so strong that it consumes you entirely, tints your vision with a strange fuchsia hue, and makes every thought in your mind disappear other than the desperate, aching need to feel blood on your tongue and flesh in your hands.

You grab your trident just as the window smashes. A scream of pure fury rips itself from your throat as you run, charge straight at the invading Threshecutioner.

The higher up the hemospectrum one goes, the higher the level of violence, insanity and blood-lust one finds. People like Tavros are virtually harmless unless really, really pissed off, while those of Vriska's class tend to have truly sadistic sides to their nature.

Lets not even get started on most sea dwellers -- a genocide is tame compared to some of the things you've heard about!

You yourself have been fairly lucky in that suppressing your more lethal side is pretty easy. You simply take a deep breath of air (or gillful of water), and count slowly to ten. It usually works, and you can continue with your life without worrying about the... less appealing part of your personality.

But it is still there. It rides in your blood as a never-ceasing torrent of potential. You are the Heiress Apparent, at the top of the Hemospectrum. A bunch of trolls have just pissed you off and not a single one of them has a science wand.

You will enjoy killing them...

But...

...But Eridan comes first.

> Well hurry up then!

Your thirst for blood is partially satisfied as you cull the idiotic few who first get in your way. You dive through the window with a practiced grace only a sea-dweller can possess. Like a little minnow you streak passed your attackers, under their outstretched arms and between their legs, over to where Eridan is slowly sinking towards the seafloor.

You try not to look at how pale he is. At how his eyes are half closed with only orange showing and you especially, especially try very hard indeed to avoid looking through the cloud of violet and at the double slash through the skin of his chest.

You just wrap your arms around him, set your eyes on the surface and swim like you've never swum before.

You break through the choppy waves and scramble onto Eridan's small island. The atmosphere feels all wrong -- the sky is clear, not a cloud in sight, sun burning unceasingly down and nothing but your gasps for breath breaks the still quiet. You think there should be a storm.

You stumble away from the water, waves snatching at your heels as if trying to drag you back and to the death waiting below. You focus solely on the unconscious friend in your arms, and set him down on the rocky beach, though well away from the water. His scarf and cape are lying nearby and you quickly snatch them up, shaking away sheets of sand and binding the scarf firmly around Eridan's chest.

His breathing is erratic, and his gills are flapping desperately. His body is confused, unable to decide if it's on land or in water and struggling to draw oxygen from the thin air. The only thing you can do to help is turn him onto his side, hoping that it'll help him breath. You cover him with his cape, but cannot do anything more before the first Threshecutioner emerges from the sea like some sort of monster – all metal and plastic with no true skin showing, no eyes visible, and hooked blades in place of hands.

You grasp your trident, and prepare to fight. It isn't just your life at stake now.

> Sollux: Fly faster than you ever have in your life.

The white, yellow and black energy crackles around you as you hone in on Feferi's husktop's signal, which is the only thing you have to track now that Eridan (stupid bastard, makes everything so hard) is offline. The world blurs by in a sea of colors, too fast for you to properly detect, but you are aware of the lush green forests ending and the vast ocean beginning.

So close... Almost there...

You smell the rainbow of blood, carried on the ocean breeze, long before you would've been able to see it. Feferi's doesn't seem to be in it (thank God), but the scent is so thick and has so many layers that you know it could just be buried beneath the cobalt and violet and countless other flavours...

Then you reach Eridan's hive and feel relief wash through you as you discover that she is not only alive, but fighting. The gold of her trident, like the purest, most delicious honey imaginable, stands out starkly against the rocks and sand as it swings and stabs and brings enemies to the ground one after the other. Ceaselessly. Mercilessly.

With one wave of psionics, you knock out every Threshecutioner with his head above water. It's only as you land beside her that you can taste the pale fuchsia of her tears.

'What's wrong?' you ask immediately, stumbling over the jagged rock to place a hand on her shoulder. She's shaking with fear and adrenalin and probably so many other things as well.

'Eridan,' is all she says, simply and quietly, and for a moment you are convinced she means he's dead. And it's odd, because you don't really know how to feel about that.

But then she's stumbling away and collapsing to her knees beside a body on the rocks, a body you'd simply passed off as a fallen Threshecutioner but now realize with a jolt that it isn't.

'Shit,' you mutter, kneeling beside Feferi and feeling for Eridan's body. He's cold, but not the dead sort of cold and his heart's still beating, albeit faintly. You can smell the violet of his blood, sickly sweet compared to the colour of his cape or text. You almost wish he was dead. Because to witness him like this is... deeply unsettling. It feels wrong in a way you can't describe. You've wanted him dead before, but never desperately wounded and not by a hand that wasn't your own.

But then there's no more time to worry or freak out or do whatever the fuck you were doing because Threshecutioners are emerging everywhere from the water and holy shit there are so many of them. A whole battalion, Eridan had said, although if _this_ is one of those you;d shit yourself at the sight of an  _army_. What is happening now is a mass of adult trolls, all trained to kill, all out for blood.

So you get up, clenching your fists, the psionics gathering around your horns and filling your empty eye sockets and you will fight as long and as hard as you goddamn can.


	18. > Tavros: check on your house guest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel that this chapter's writing is a little awkward but whatever.

> Tavros: check on your house guest.

You honestly intend to. Really, you'll do it. Very soon... Probably... Ok maybe...

Well.

You have actually been awake for at least three hours, but for a long time you were too afraid of waking Vriska up to leave your respiteblock. The sun had barely set when you first woke up and she'd looked pretty tired when you'd last seen her so you thought it was better just to let her sleep. Your pile is comfy so it's fine, even if you are sort of hungry...

But you can hear movement coming from the recreationblock, which happens to be pretty much opposite to your own respiteblock, so you guess it must be alright to get up now... or at least you hope it is.

You tiptoe around the room, which isn't particularly easy considering that your toes, as well as your feet, shins and thighs, are made out of metal. Meaning that moving quietly isn't very easy, and you have also discovered that while it doesn’t hurt anymore, the purpose of shins remains to be that of very enthusiastically finding hard objects in dark blocks.

But you manage to get properly dressed without knocking anything over or making too much noise, and are in the process of quietly shuffling from your block, hoping to use the ablutionblock before you have to reveal that you're awake, when the recreationblock door opens and Vriska steps out.

There is a somewhat awkward pause while she just stares at you, and you look at the floor while wondering what on Alternia to say.

'You know, Tavros,' she begins, voice a weary drawl, 'it's usually the custom to offer guests a 'good evening' at the least, especially when they've just spent the whole night in an armchair without a drop of sopor.' You manage to look at her face long enough to see that she looks even more exhausted than yesterday.

'Er, um, good evening,' you stammer, nervously fiddling with the hem of your T-shirt. Vriska gives a derisive snort before striding straight passed you and into the ablutionblock. You stare at the closed door for a few seconds, listening to the sound of the ablutiontrap taps being turned on, before you pull yourself together and enter the nutritionblock, intent on getting breakfast.

> Vriska: Wash.

You are covered with blood and dirt and _gunk_ that you don't even want to think about. Normally this kind of thing doesn’t bother you much, but this amount of yuck is just ridiculous. You turn both taps on to their highest and strip off all your clothes, letting them drop onto the floor. They are dirty but not unsalvageable, although under any other circumstances you’d stick them into the garbage without a second thought. Looks like you'll have to get Tavy to lend you some of his until you can mend your own or something. It'll be ok if you turn the T-shirt inside out to hide his sign and his pants should fit well enough and beggars (ugh) can’t be choosers so knuckle down and _deal_.

You'd had to abandon your pack. It was too heavy and you were bleeding too much. It's a shame, because it had your clothes in, as well as most of the stuff you'd managed to collect. But your husktop, thankfully, was light enough for you to carry by yourself, even if it had been a bit awkward.

You need to get better quickly. Quickly, so that you can retrieve all of your stuff before something or someone finds it before you. It would be bad if that information got into the wrong hands, to put it mildly.

You poke gingerly at the bandage around your abdomen and wince. It'll take a while to fully recover fully from this one, but it hasn't bled through and you know that if you're still walking, you're not just gonna keel over and die. What doesn't kill a blue blood right away won't ever kill them.

You examine your forehead before the cabinet mirror can get too steamed up. The bandaging isn't very neat but it's ok. You know that there are more gauze and bandages in the cabinet so you carefully pull away the strips of cloth and peel off the blue-stained fabric. The cut isn't that bad really – head wounds just bleed a lot – but the bruising is a work of fucking art.

You then peel off the rest of the bandages – where did that cut on your arm even _come_ from? – and gingerly step into the ablutiontrap, or 'bathtub' as it is really called, wincing as the minor cuts and scrapes sting in the warm water. You turn the taps off before the tub can overflow and kneel, sponging the blood and grime off your body as gently as you can. The water is soon tinged with cobalt and a layer of silt forms around your folded legs. Yuck!

After cleaning yourself off, you drain all of the water and use the shower to wash away the remaining dirt. Then you fill the bath again, using mostly hot water this time, and have a nice long soak. The more sensible part of your mind is telling you that this cannot be good for your wounds and that the scabs are in danger of dissolving or something icky and opening all your cuts again. But it feels so good and you think you deserve some pampering, right?

After a while of simply relaxing you dip your whole head under the water before sitting up and climbing out of the tub. Grabbing a towel, plasters, fresh gauze and bandages, you get to work at re-dressing your cuts. Tavros hadn't done a bad job but he obviously wasn't an expert at first aid. And while you aren't either, you can at least do a _slightly_ better job. At least your hands aren't shaking pathetically.

After that, you wrap your body with towels and bundle your hair up in another. As you pick up the heap of smelly fabric that is your clothes, touching the cloth as little as possible... you hear a quiet tinkle against the floor tiles.

It's the pendent. You had forgotten about it.

You pick it up and put it back on, hiding the actual pendent part beneath your towel. The metal and gemstone is cold against your skin.

You exit the ablutionblock and shuffle into the nutritionblock, awkwardly holding your towels up with one hand and keeping your hair wrapped up with the other. To your mild amusement, Tavros colours deep brown as soon as he sees you and almost drops the frying pan he's holding.

'Can I borrow some of your clothes?' you ask, already knowing the answer. Tavros nods jerkily, and stumbles from the room still holding the frying pan. It's cute in a way. He re-enters briefly in order to put the frying pan down on a counter top before he practically runs upstairs. As you sit down at the table you can hear muffled thuds and bangs as he searches.

You don't have to wait for very long, and soon he's jogging back into the room, holding a neatly folded pair of trousers and a shirt still on a coat hanger. You take them and going into the ablutionblock again to get changed.

By the time you come out, breakfast is on the table. The aroma of eggs and oinkbeast meant is enough to make your mouth water and you’re glad he's done a lot because boy, are you hungry!

Tavros keeps his eyes carefully averted as he nibbles at his food and you stuff your face (damn, can he cook!)

'Sho,' you say around a mouthful of meaty goodness, once you've slowed down a little. 'You gonna say anything?' You swallow, and regard him carefully while licking grease off your fingers. You can see your 'host' fiddling nervously with the tablecloth while his gaze flickers around the room, landing on anything but you.

'Just ask me a question or something,' you press, slightly amused but mostly exasperated. It's not usually this awkward between you two... although you guess that was before you genuinely killed him and then only contacted him about twice a sweep.

...Way to go, Vriska!

'Well, er...' Tavros begins, looking around the room as if hoping that a topic will suddenly jump out from a cupboard and present itself to him. He looks mortified and it is both utterly adorable and pathetically hilarious at the same time.

Then his eyes alight on your chest and it is with a sort of internal cringe that you realize you've left the pendent hanging outside of your inside out T-shirt.

Oops.

'If you mind me, uh, asking... why are you wearing Karkat's sign around your neck?'

You study Tavros carefully for a few moments, an idea steadily forming in your mind. The question is innocent enough, but once you give an answer, any answer, he will undoubtedly want to know more and, while his attempts to make you tell him will be weak, they will still be there and still be annoying.

Besides, he's a friend. You were going to tell them  _all_ about it at some point.

'Tavros...' you say, leaning forward across the table. He makes the mistake of looking into your eyes and you capture him instantly in your gaze, 'how much do you know... about ancestors?'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like Vriska too much -sigh-


	19. > Karkat: Arrive.

> Karkat: Arrive.

Hours of pointless wandering have finally paid off – you have arrived at Terezi Pyrope's hive. About fucking time. Those maps were completely useless and you're sure you've spent way more time in the light than can be healthy. Just abso-bloody-lutely perfect.

Your mood does not improve when you round the final bend to see Terezi outside her treehive.

Waiting for you.

And grinning as if Twelfth Perigee has come early.

And then it clicks. Of course she knew you were coming! She's a goddamn _Seer_ of _Mind!_ She's probably known ever since your last conversation with her, and fuck is she going to make you suffer for it. You mean... well sure, you're glad she's... happy or enjoying herself or whatever, but _seriously?_   _Now?? When your **life** is in danger?????_

By the time you reach the hive, branches lavishly decorated with hanged plush dragons swinging lazily in the breeze (seriously what the fuck is even up with that?), you are not in the best of moods.

'Karkles!' Terezi exclaims, giving a little leap of joy. 'I've been waiting for aaaages! I thought you'd never get here!'

'I'm starting to wish I hadn't,' you grumble, earning a cackle of laughter from the psychopath currently skipping around you like a wriggler at Twelfth Perigee who has just received an enormous wrapped up gift and cannot wait to sink her claws into it and discover whatever shit it is inside.

You are not looking forward to having her claws dug into you, but you also know that it will inevitably happen. You can already see it, like images on a computer screen, her and her mind games picking and prodding at you whenever she can...

Goddammit, you are such an idiot! What part of your retarded mind had thought that this was a good idea?

She leads you to the lift, laughing all the way as you ascend into the treetops. She leads you inside, where everything is impossibly bright with colors and light and you can feel a headache coming on already. Ugh, how could you forget her insane obsession??

She's obviously had time to prepare – even set up a fucking respiteblock for you, complete with desk and recuperacoon. You are somewhat grudgingly touched by the effort she's put in... or you were, at least until you realized that the room contains far too much bright candy red to be normal.

She is never gonna let you forget it, is she?

> Terezi: Fondly think up the ways in which you will pick Karkles' mind to pieces.

You do not have to think any up because you already have! Yet you do fondly think over them, nonetheless. Oh, this is going to be so~ much~ fun~! You've missed a good mind-picking. You haven't had many opportunities since your FLARPing days. Hopefully you haven't become too rusty. Oh well, if you have, this will be a chance to hone your skills again.

And maybe, you will finally, finally be able to discover what he really thinks of you.

You leave him a to get settled in and retreat into your own respiteblock, still grinning with glee. Now, what were you doing before he arrived? Oh yes, you were midway through a particularly intriguing court case involving—

Huh?

Someone appears to be trolling you. You wonder who it could be...

\-- apocalypseArisen [AA] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC] \--

AA: sorry to bother you  
AA: but i was wondering if you could do me a favour  
GC: WH4TS UP? WH4T DO YOU N33D?  
AA: a drone has just blown up my hive completely  
AA: and i do not wish to stay in the frog temple for very long  
AA: it is very damp and cold in here

You stare open-mouthed at the screen for a few seconds, before typing the only thing that seem to sum up your opinions on this news.

GC: >:O  
AA: yep  
GC: OH MY  
GC: TH1S 1S V3RY B4D N3WS. Y3S OF COURS3 YOU C4N ST4Y!

It messes with you plans a little, but you can't possibly turn her down. Besides it would be nice to see her again... or smell. Dumb expressions. Whoever made most of them obviously wasn't blind!

GC: BUT K4RKL3S 1S 4LSO H3R3  
AA: really? why?  
GC: H3H3!  
GC: H1S 3Y3S 4R3 TURN1NG SO H3 R4N TO M3 L1K3 4 L1TTL3 LOST WR1GGL3R  
GC: 1T W4S COMPL3T3LY 4DOR4BL3  
GC: OR MOR3 ADOR4BLOODTH1RSTY  
GC: BUT TH1S 1S OFF TOP1C WHY ON 4LT3RN14 D1D 4 DRON3 BLOW UP YOUR H1V3?  
GC: 1 THOUGHT YOU W3R3 L1ST3D 4S D34D!  
AA: i am  
AA: it was for clearance i believe  
AA: a new hive will probably be built shortly  
AA: at least in the next few perigees  
AA: but it appears that the aim was indeed to kill me  
AA: again  
GC: D:<  
AA: my thoughts exactly  
GC: HOW LONG W1LL 1T T4K3 YOU TO ARR1V3?  
AA: a couple of nights at the most  
AA: i am a pretty fast flier when i put my mind to it  
GC: OF COURSE! I H4D 4LMOST FORGOTT3N YOU COULD FLY!  
GC: 1T'S B33N TOO LONG S1NC3 W3'V3 M3T UP W1TH 34CHOTH3R >:[  
AA: much too long indeed!  
AA: despite the circumstances I am looking forward to coming!

A thought strikes you. Quite a wonderful thought which quickly becomes an even more wonderful idea! Oooh, yes!

GC: H3Y, M4YB3 W3 COULD H4V3 SOM3 SORT OF H1V3 P4RTY!  
GC: SOM3 OF TH3 OTH3RS C4N COM3 TOO!  
AA: oh yes!  
AA: yes that will be a lot of fun!  
GC: ONLY G1RLS THOUGH  
GC: SO TH4T W3 C4N TORTUR3 K4RK4T >:]  
AA: that sounds utterly cruel and very uncivil  
AA: lets do it!  
AA: besides i think i have had enough of guys :/  
GC: OH D34R  
GC: SORRY  
AA: its alright  
GC: BUT 4CTU4LLY 1 TH1NK W3 4LL H4V3  
GC: W3 N33D A N1C3 B1G G1RLY G3T-TOG3TH3R!  
AA: oh yes!  
AA: ive never had a nice big girly get-together  
AA: have you?  
GC: W3LL, NO  
GC: 1 DO L1V3 1N TH3 M1DDL3 OF NOWH3R3 PR4CT1C4LLY  
GC: BUT 1T C4N'T B3 TH4T H4RD! W3 JUST H4NG OUT AND T4LK 4BOUT G1RLY STUFF. 4ND PROB4BLY PL4Y A F3W G4M3S!  
AA: nice games?  
GC: OH Y3S! N1C3 G4MES!  
GC: NOTH1NG WH3R3 4NYON3 G3TS HURT OR DI3  
GC: TH4T WOULD B3 GO1NG 4G41NST TH3 PO1NT  
AA: sounds like fun!  
GC: 1T W1LL B3!  
GC: TH3 ROS3 HUM4N M3NT1ON3D TH3M ON TH3 M3T3OR ONC3 AND I'V3 4LW4YS W4NT3D TO TRY 1T OUT!  
AA: cool!  
AA: i sometimes wish id come with you then  
GC: NO YOU DONT  
AA: but the dream bubbles were fun

Oops. You are suddenly not liking the direction this conversation is heading in. Time to change the subject!

GC: SO, WHO 3LS3 CH4LL W3 1NV1T3?  
AA: nepeta and feferi would be good  
GC: OH Y3S! WH4T 4BOUT K4N4Y4 4S W3LL?  
AA: of course! she does live on literally the other side of alternia though  
GC: 4ND WH4T 4BOUT... VR1SK4?

There is a short pause while you wait for a response. You'd been slightly worried about mentioning Serket. One of the first things she and Aradia had done once you'd all arrived back on Alternia was have a massive argument, complete with blood-based name calling. It hadn't been pretty. Kanaya had had to step in before it got too violent. And by 'too violent', you guess you really mean, 'ripping out guts with teeth'... or something equally as unpleasant.

AA: i guess she can come  
AA: we sorta made up a bit i guess  
AA: and anyway shed probably gatecrash if she knew it was happening  
GC: TRU3  
GC: GL4D YOU'V3 MAD3 UP 4NYW4Y!  
AA: yeah  
AA: though something weird is going on with her i just know it  
GC: Y34H  
GC: I KNOW WH4T YOU M34N, 1 TH1NK

You hear a muffled yell from the other room, which you think might just be your name, and quickly type your next message.

GC: OOPS 1 TH1NK K4RK4T W4NTS M3 FOR SOM3TH1NG  
GC: T4LK MOR3 WH3N YOU GET H3R3?  
AA: yeah fine  
AA: smell you later! ;)  
GC: H3H3H3H! >;D

\-- apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC] \--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd still like to know about that askblog idea, guys.


	20. > Tavros: Attempt to work out how you got into this mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter twenty. There are 50-something more to go, btw. And then the Intermission, and then Act 2 which i haven't finished yet.
> 
> Yeah this is a long fic.
> 
> Also btw: Tavros is a bit of an unreliable narrator, especially in this chapter. All the characters are unreliable narrators in some way but it's more in this one and ones like it than others I think.

> Tavros: Attempt to work out how you got into this mess.

You have decided that you quite enjoy doing laundry. You enjoy doing it because it is allowing you to _think_.

You can hear Vriska in the other room, packing everything you might possibly need. Somehow – and you are (almost) positive that she didn't use mind-control – she has persuaded you to go on some sort of expedition with her, at least in order to fully explain why she was wearing, and continues to wear, the necklace with Karkat's sign on it.

You're scared. You thought you could deal with her now. But somehow, over the days and weeks away, you've either lost your ability or she's strengthened hers. But now she's back and better at manipulating than ever and... maybe you're not even trying to resist. because you know it's fun while it lasts.

You're confused, but not backing away.

> Cast your mind back to the conversation.

'Tavros, what do you know about ancestors?'

The question takes you completely by surprise. You open your mouth, unsure of what to say. The answer is, honestly, not a lot. It's more of a highblood thing and you're not even convinced that they exist, not _here_ , on Alternia, where you can't talk face-to-face with them and their stories are so different to the ones you actually heard. But Vriska and Eridan both claim to have one and even Gamzee has mentioned it a couple of times, so you guess there must be some sort of truth in it...?

Karkat would firmly disagree, still, but he knows even less than you do.

'Well... they lived a very long time ago,' you begin, repeating the exact wording that you were schoolfed when you were younger. 'And they, er, their DNA is, um, the closest to ours?' It comes out as a question. Vriska does that eye-roll thing that makes her whole head move and makes you feel like a wiggler.

'Not a lot, obviously!' she says, before sitting back and spearing another egg with her fork, slowly squeezing the yellow part out before folding it over and stuffing it into her mouth, _somehow_ managing to avoid getting yolk all over her. You have no idea how she manages that.

You wait for her to swallow, trying not to look at her face for too long, or at any of her for that matter. You're wary, and you have a  _right_ to be wary... but she's been pretty good so far...

'You see,' she continues, leaning forwards again and jabbing her bacon-loaded fork at you, 'I've been on a bit of a quest recently.' She pauses to east the oinkbeast meat, making a muffled _ummh!_ sound of appreciation.

'You're a really good cook, by the way,' she says, mouth still full. You feel your cheeks color slightly and look at the floor. You're not really – you're just very used to having this for breakfast so it might as well be done properly. You don't see any point in correcting her, though. It's sorta nice hearing nice things from her, even if you know they're probably only an attempt at getting her own way.

'I have been finding out quite a bit about our ancestors,' she says, once she's swallowed. 'Particularly Karkat's.'

You manage a mystified, 'oh?' as Vriska takes a sip of water, and then she's off again.

'What his ancestor did is suddenly becoming very relevant to our current situation, and as I am just so noble I have taken it upon myself to tiptoe through ancient tombs and temples in an attempt to gather more information. There's a shocking lack of it open to the public.' You have the feeling, mostly due to the slight smirk on her lips, that at least part of that was something of a personal joke. You keep silent, though.

'I'm afraid I can't really explain it very thoroughly in words,' she continues, after eating another egg straight from the frying pan you'd balanced on the table after she got through her first two helpings.

'So I was wondering,' she says, fixing her powerful gaze upon you once more, 'whether you'd like me to show you.' A deep sense of foreboding begins to gather inside you. You had been enjoying not having to risk your life, finding pleasure in being able to stay in your hive and not do anything dangerous, and now you have the very distinct feeling that you are about to begin doing so again. It's something to do with the sparkle in her eyes and the barely-contained excitement you can sense.

'My pack is still in the forest somewhere and I really have to collect it.' Her voice is starting to take on a wheedling tone, and she looks at you sweetly from beneath long dark eyelashes. She's become prettier since you last saw her, you try and fail not to notice.

You swallow thickly.

'Besides, I need to get going as quickly as possible and I'm not really in much shape to be running around... or even wheeling myself.' She's sounding _fragile_ , and if that doesn't set of alarm bells nothing does. 'So I kinda need... _help_.' Then she raises her head too fast for you to look away and stares straight into your eyes, and she doesn't need to use a single psychic gift because her gaze is just that powerful and you know, right then, that you are well and truly caught in her web. The web she has been spinning around you ever since she started talking. It is sticky and you are stuck.

And the strangest thing is that you don't really think you care.

'I'll come with you,' you say, words running into each other as you speak without even thinking. And her smile is as bright as the sun.

'Excellent!' she says, eveyr hint of tenderness dropping as she stands straight up and heads out of the block. At the doorway, she pauses, turns slightly and adds, 'thank you, Tavros, really. I'm grateful.' Her smile is different, and she sounds... sincere.

Oh god. What have you done.

> Tavros: Come back to the present.

You come to your senses and quickly load the last item of clothing into the clothwasher. It just happens to be Vriska's bra. You toss into into the device and close the door quickly.

You just aren't used to this! Having another troll in the hive at all is something new to you and having a female troll in your hive, particularly one who has both kissed you and killed you is completely messing with your thinkpan!

You narrowly avoid putting the clothwasher onto a setting that would shrink every item inside it down to a size too small for Tinkerbull, set it to the right one and then leave it to do its job.

You can't deny that you're sort of excited, though... if in a rather anxious sort of way. The old thrill is coming back, the thrill of living out a few of your favorite stories like one of the heroes of old... or something along those lines anyway. At any rate, it's a feeling you've only had once before – in Sgrub, with Vriska, doing side-quests and enjoying it, even if they weren't actually crucial to the game, and then later with that pirate scheme, that had been fun for a while. Even if it hadn't exactly lasted very long, the point is that you'll be doing it again, and maybe this time, you won't screw up so badly and Vriska  _might_ be a bit more reasonable...?

You still feel really bad about that. Even though on the few occasions you've brought it up Vriska's just laughed and probably tossed her hair on her side of the screen, and reminded you that she got you back and that it's in the past so there's no point in dwelling on it. It doesn't really help though.

You wish you could have her attitude, sometimes... At least in a way that didn't involve kernalsprites and awkward body-sharing experiences...

Ok. You're gonna try not to think about that. That experience was... too weird.

'I'm pretty much ready, Tavvy!' You jump and twist around. Vriska is standing in the open doorway – why hadn't you thought to close it? – grinning widely and holding two large backpacks. She tosses one over to you and you just about catch it. It's bulky, but not too heavy. She's carrying a lighter one – you guess most of her stuff must still be in the forest – and now has her hand on one hip, feet apart as she grins down at you.

'I'm ready when the clothes are!' she declares, before striding from the room.

Where did all that energy even come from??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to positive feedback I will be looking into making an askblog and when I do, I will post the link! I can't say how long it will take because i am really bad at this sort of thing and will probably need to consult people and then there's just stuff like getting a good layout etc so yeah.
> 
> If someone with art skills would like to draw an icon for me that's be great =) I have an idea that is simple and that I could maybe do myself but yeah.
> 
> Considering all that is happening in canon I am going to TRY to keep things on track but there will be frequent instances in which I just can't. Please bear in mind that I have this all pre-written and that I STARTED writing it almost a full year ago. Part of the role of the askblog will/would be to deal with all the plotholes I can't reasonably write into the fic.


	21. > Sollux: Fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK RIGHT.
> 
> I have decided that, instead of doing an askblog specifically for Adolescence, I will make a blog where I post fic update notices, prompted works etc and IS ALSO AN ASKBLOG.
> 
> I think this will be simpler. It also means that people can ask about any 'verse I've done and not just Adolescence.
> 
> This changes things a bit and I don't know when it will be out, but I will notify everyone when it is.
> 
> ANOTHER THING: I am doing this primarily because I want to be able to fill in some of the gaping holes this plot is riddled with. So, PLEASE ASK QUESTIONS. They don't HAVE to be about the plot, but please let the blog be of some use.
> 
> I have no idea what to call it.

> Sollux: Fight.

You don't need to be told that! You are trying with all your might, but you can't risk knocking out Feferi too and there are just so many of them and you can't kill them all with one blast like this. They keep getting up - there must be psykill metal in their helmets or something that's stopping the main brunt of your power from getting through. It's infuriating. You can feel blood trickling from your eye sockets and taste it as it enters your mouth, and you know you're pushing it way too fucking far, but you keep on going.

You don't know how long it has been, whether it's been hours or days or weeks or just a few minutes. All you know is that your head feels like it's about to crack open and your horns are about to fall off and that they just keep on coming, rearing up from the sea like monsters from the darkest of daymares. It's terrifying. You wish you'd never come. This is horrible.

But eventually, the majority have fallen, and not gotten up, either knocked out or with triple punctures courtesy of Feferi when they got too close. Your repeated psychic blasts rendered many unconscious, and while you doubt that they'll die from it, they won't be waking up any time soon. Well, not until after you've gone. Hopefully. How you're going to actually _do_ that is another problem, though...

Panting hard, and barely able to keep upright, you stagger around to face the last group of Threshecutioners. They're big and strong and obviously resilient... probably trained to have a resistance to psychic blasts... but _please_ , they can't keep on standing for much longer. It's isn't  _possible_.

With a roar of pain you let loose a final blast of psionics, a blast that seems to vibrate in your thinkpan and in your skull and in every fucking bone in your fucking body as if it's about to rip you apart from the inside... but you do it.

You do it and they drop to the ground like stones.

Finally. It is finally over. It's finally over and you feel as if you're about to die but you turn around, back to Feferi, and smile.

You're only alerted to the one remaining Threshecutioner by her terrified shriek of warning.

You turn, but you know it's too late. You turn, but you know that you couldn't fire another blast if you tried. You turn, time in time to smell it raise it's bladed hand high above its head, glinting in the blinding sunlight, and you turn just in time to be thankful you won't have to actually see it coming down.

Then a crack rings out through the still day, the sound of metal hitting bone... and the adult troll, a whole head, neck, shoulders and chest taller than you... slumps to the ground at your feet.

Behind it stands another troll, nearly as tall and the one he just knocked out.

'Honk, motherfuckers,’ says Gamzee. ‘Motherfucking honk.’

Your jaw hits the floor.

> Be Gamzee, two hours in the past.

Fuck this shit.

You run back towards you hive, scrabbling over the loose sand. Your body feels too big, limbs too long and too thin, like there's way too much of you all of a sudden and not enough to support it. It's hard to coordinate and you realize that you haven't actually done any running for a pretty long time.

You don't go back inside. Instead, you run to the left, into the archway, and stand in the shade for a moment, blinking as you eyes adjust to the sudden light change. Then you step forward, grab the dusty sheet in both hands and tug.

It slides off easily. You'd expected it to be heavier. But you toss it aside and grasp the unpolished wood, hooking your fingers over the rim because you know that this is heavy, even if you've never so much as touched it before.

You start to pull, dragging it down through the sands, leaving a narrow trench in its wake. You've had this rowing boat for sweeps. As a purple blood, one step down from the sea-dwellers, its pretty much standard protocol to have  _something_ , to start out with a little boat and buy bigger and betters ones as the troll gets older.

You've just never been given a reason to actually use it.

And now that you have, you're not sure you can.

You haul it onto the water, not bothering to roll your pants up. The white-crested surf hurls itself against you like it's on purpose, soaking your clothes and making your teeth chatter with shock and cold. But the boat is on the water and you clamber in over the side, vessel rocking dangerously, picking up the ores and slotting them into the small rotating circle things on the rims on either side.

It takes you a frustratingly long time to get the hang of it, but eventually you have you back to Eridan's hive and your own is becoming steadily smaller in front of you as the boat skims over the waves.

You're glad that you're pretty much soaked to the skin, now, because the blistering sun beats down relentlessly upon your back and the heat would be unbearable if not for the ocean breeze and the salty spray.

You arms ache, muscles screaming in agony, but you keep going. You have to. You twist around every now and then to check that you are still going in the right direction, and now the sky is shot across with the black and white of Sollux's psionics.

You double your pace.

When the sea becomes a revolting rainbow around you, the stench of blood and death thick in the air, you know that you're close. And that helps you go faster.

A final wave of psychic energy crackles through the air, ringing in your ears and skull but not directed at you. A lowblood would be more affected but all it really does to you is make your vision blur for a second. Then the boat hits rock and sand and you leap out, pausing only to tug it up the shore slightly so that it doesn't drift away.

Sollux doesn't hear or smell or sense you coming. Sollux doesn't hear or smell or sense the one remaining Threshecutioner, either. And despite the fact that your arms ache so much you think they're about to fall off and the sun is so damn hot and your clothes are so stiff with sea salt that they've rubbed your skin raw, you pull your club from your sylladex and bring it down on the bastard's head as hard and you fucking can.

Right between the horns.

And the adult troll who is surprisingly not as tall as you'd expected crumples to your feet like a puppet with its strings cut.

'Honk, motherfuckers,' you say grimly. 'Motherfucking honk.'

Sollux's mouth is hanging open. You can see blood on his face, trailing down his cheeks like tears, and behind him Feferi is crying as she leans over a body.

'We gotta get back to the mainland before any of their buddies turn up,' you say. Sollux closes his mouth quickly and nods, stumbling back towards Feferi. A scene from the meteor flashes through you mind: Sollux's body on the ground, cooling yellow blood still trickling from his eyes and nose and mouth and ears. Dead. Psychically burnt-out. A body to take away... and make useful again.

Rage burns inside you like a sort of purple fire, the exact color of your blood, but you grit your teeth and push it back. The fuckers who caused this are either unconscious, dead or dying. There's nothing here to hurt that ain't some way off limits, though with the way your pan is acting you can't quite be sure why. But whatever's going on, it's not something that makes you smile.

So you follow after Sollux instead as his trips and stumbles his way across the rocky sand. He looks exhausted and you can't blame him.

> Sollux: Figure out what's going on.

You can't. Your head hurts so much that just regular thinking is too fucking painful. All you can really do is stand back and watch as Gamzee (where the hell did he _come_ from?) checks Eridan's vitals, picks him up as if he weighed nothing (Gamzee is so fucking tall now) and carries him over to a wooden rowing boat. It's only halfway on the island and looks as if its about to start drifting off to sea with each ripple of a wave that sweeps beneath it. Well, you know who he got here at least... now where the fuck did he get that boat from??

It's so fucking hot and you are so fucking tired and all you can do when you're in the boat is lean against Feferi's shoulder and try not to think or move or do anything. Eridan still hasn't regained consciousness and Feferi's still crying and Gamzee's obviously insanely tired as well (as well as maybe regular insane, goddammit why'd it have to be _him??_ ), but there's nothing you can do until the ringing in your head fucks off and you stop feeling as if you're about to die.

Feferi cradles Eridan as if any sharp movement will break him into a thousand pieces. All three of you are slumped onto the curved wooden floor, since the only bench is available is made to be rowed from. It's damp and cold, in stark contrast to the dry heat of the sun. You're half heartedly attempting to decide which is worse, more of a way of passing the time than anything else. And so are so very, very thirsty...

Eridan gives a little cough and a splutter and a streak of violet dribbles down from his mouth. His gills, you remember Feferi saying, were cut clean through, and he's choking on his own blood as it leaks into his lungs via whatever mutation sea-dwellers use to respire with. Feferi clutches him even tighter as he coughs up more blood but still doesn't open his eyes. You feel the boat speed up slightly, Gamzee swearing quietly to himself... And you are getting angry. Angry at the Condesce, angry as the assassins, angry at Eridan for making Feferi cry and angry at yourself for not arriving sooner. And for being angry at all when jackshit can be done about it. But it's a tired, worn-out sort of anger that does nothing to help your aching head and leaden limbs.

The sun beats down. The boat rocks on the waves.

You quickly and quietly slip into a doze...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My headcanon Gamzee is unhealthily skinny and very gangly so I will be writing him as such but imagine him how you like


	22. > Nepeta: Troll Fefurry.

> Nepeta: Troll Fefurry.

\-- arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC] \--

AC: :33 < good meowning!  
cuttlefishCuller [CC] is an idle troll!  
AC: :33 < i was pawndering over whether you would be interested  
AC: :33 < in having a big girly get together with the other girls!  
AC: :33 < you s33 aa has to stay with gc fur a short while  
AC: :33 < and they came up with the idea!  
AC: :33 < and they asked me and i said yes  
AC: :33 < and then they asked me to tell you!  
cuttlefishCuller [CC] is an idle troll!  
AC: :33 < ...  
AC: :33 < cc?  
AC: :33 < fefuri are you there?  
AC: :33 < well when you s33 this message can you tell me?  
AC: :33 < i hope you can come! :33

\-- arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC] \--

Hmm...

Well, it's a bit of a disappointment that she's not answering right now, but there's still time.

> Feferi: Stop crying and pull yourself together!

It takes huge effort, and a lot of gulps and hiccups, but you eventually calm down. You are the glubbing Heiress for one thing, and for another, this is by no means the worse thing you've faced so far. You never tried during the game, no matter how many times you or your loved-ones died, so there's no reason to suddenly make a habit of it now. You must be cool and collected in all sorts of situations, and anyway, crying isn't going to help anything!

You need to assess the situation and come up with a way of making it better. Sollux is asleep against your shoulder. That's fine – he needs a rest – although it does mean that you can't move right now without disturbing him. Gamzee is rowing, head down, eyes closed. You can see sweat dripping off his face, glittering in the glaring sunlight, but he still keeps going, rowing steadily towards his hive. And Eridan...

You swallow, and look down at the unconscious boy in your arms. He's too pale. Too thin. And every so often he coughs up a bit more blood. The internal bleeding doesn't seem to be too bad, but he still hasn't woken up and wet, sticky violet is soaking through his scarf. You feel terrible about it. Terrible because it's your fault, in the end. You should have done something, at least _tried_ to stop him. Despite everything he's still your friend and you let him get hurt.

Gamzee makes a small, strained sound and you look up again. His face is flushed purple and he's obviously struggling. Well, looks like Sollux will have to lean on someone else. There is at least _one_ useful thing you can do. Honestly you want to get out of the sun as well.

'Gamzee, you don't have to row,' you say. He looks up, but doesn't stop or say anything. 'I can pull from the water... I'm stronger than I look!' you insist. Gamzee's eyes flicker to Eridan, then back to yours. 'Can you take care of him?' Gamzee hesitates a moment, before pulling the oars into the boat and sliding off the bench.

'Sorry, Sollux,' you murmur to the troll leaning against your shoulder, gently shaking him awake. As soon as he sits up properly, you're over the side and back in the cool water.

> Eridan: Wake.

Something's changed... the temperature. Yes, something to do with that. The arm under your neck is warmer than it was before and you're finding it uncomfortable. Feferi's blood and your blood are almost exactly the same, but it was enough to tell the difference... and now it's a _different_ difference you don't like it.

You slowly manage to open your eyes. Everything hurts and your body feels heavy, weighed down by the whole entirety of the ocean you swear. Someone's holding you, but it isn't the person you want it to be.

You try to draw breath to speak and end up coughing most of it out. There's something hot and wet creeping down your throat every time you breath in, making you choke. You realize your gills must be bleeding. The information doesn't bother you nearly as much as it probably should. The sensation's just annoying, really.

'Gamzee,' you manage to rasp, eventually. 'Where's... where's Fef? Is she... o-kay...?' Your voice cracks and you weakly cough again. Dammit. It _hurts_.

'She's fine,' he replies quietly, wiping the blood away from your mouth with his sleeve. 'She's pullin' the boat right now.' Gamzee's stare is intense, and in your current state you can't tell if he's worried or morbidly facinated by your predicament. You realize this, but don't really think anything. You don't think you can. Right now, you're just tired and hurting. Your concern for Feferi is about the only thing that breaks through the hot, heavy haze surrounding your mind.

'Mm such... a fuckin'... idiot...' you breath, even as your eyelids slip closed and your consciousness begins to fade again. The gentle rhythm of the boat is soothing...

'Wait' Gentle slapping on the un-hurt side of your face, calling you back to the waking world. But you want to sleep... 'Talk to me. Why're you an idiot? What happened?' You half-open your eyes again, slowly because it takes so much effort. You know you couldn't move even if you tried.

'I coulda pr'went'd i',' you slur. Your lips feel too thick to form proper words with, tongue almost too heavy to lift at all. 'I coulda... take'n 'er... away... Or somefin...' You eyelids slide closed again, and you know this time that you won't be reopening them. You feel like you're sinking again, but this time the water is warm and somehow... soft. Maybe it's actually sopor slime. Maybe you're really in your recuperacoon, and this has all been just one long, terrible dream...

You only want to sleep. The pain fades with your consciousness.

> Sollux: Wake up properly.

You wake up feeling so much better. Not 100% perfect by any standards, but you no longer feel as if various parts of your anatomy are about to drop off, or as if you yourself are about to drop dead. So in comparison to your previous state, you feel fucking _amazing_.

You open your eyes. You're not leaning against Feferi anymore and for a few moments you can only look around in addled confusion as the boat speeds along without a) anyone rowing and b) any other obvious source of power.

Then the information sort of clicks, and you remember how fast and strong Feferi claims to be underwater, and you arrive as what seems to be the only logical conclusion... even if it is a bit weird.

You sit up properly and take a deep breath in, trying to smell the opposite horizon. The shore seems pretty close, though you don't think you've been asleep for very long. Plus, measuring distance with this sort of 'vision' is pretty tricky. You don't know if even Terezi could get it completely correct.

Now what about Gamzee...

You turn towards to your left. Yeah, you had been leaning against him. The thought is more than a bit unsettling. The weirdest thing is that you hadn't even noticed the transition. Damn, you must've been more out of it than you'd thought.

'We lose one, we gain one,' he says grimly, causing you to jump slightly. He turns to look at you. 'He woke up a moment,' he says, to explain, 'but I couldn't keep him.' You don't think you've ever heard Gamzee sound so serious. 'I think we might lose 'im, bro,' he continues. 'I didn't wanna say it in front of Fefsis, but he's been hurt real bad.'

You don't know what to say. You've never been exactly close to Eridan Ampora – heck, you _used_ to hate him as much as was platonically possible, _tried_ to kill him in more than one timeline – and you, like everyone else except Kanaya, haven't heard a single word from him before he messaged you today. All that shit to do with Feferi hadn't exactly helped matters.

Despite all this, however, you can't honestly say that you want him _dead_. Not now, at least, while all those other yous are little more than distant memories.

'What's wrong with him anyway?' you ask, more of a way of filling the silence than anything. 'I mean... other than the obvious fact that he's been cut across the chest.'

'Blood loss mostly, I think,' Gamzee replies, gently touching Eridan's neck to check his pulse. 'Bloodpusher's beating all irregular.' He growls, just loud enough for you to hear over the splashing of the waves. 'Fucking Threshe-bastards.'

'The Condesce sent them,' you say quietly.

'Then fuck the Condesce!' You raise an eyebrow, even though you know he isn't looking at you.

'That's treason,' you said flatly. Gamzee's expression doesn't change. He turns his head to look at you very slowly, eyes hard and just tinged with purple. A shiver runs down your spine.

'My moirail's a candy-blooded mutant and three of my best friends are disabled,' he says, voice almost casual but a little too dark. ' _You think I give a shit about treason?_ I committed it when I failed to kill you all. I'm committing it now. Don't give me that _hoofbeastshit_.' You swallow. You don't like the way his voice sounds. You don't like what he's saying. This isn't sopor-Gamzee – he's stone cold sober and he's starting to verbally murder-quirk.

 _'He's ok now,'_ Karkat had said, to all of you, over a video-chat system you'd managed to set up but never bothered to use since. _'We went over some shit, got some of the fuckery sorted out. His typing doesn't induce epilepsy anymore but that just shows he's not on sopor. It's when he starting speaking like that that you've gotta be careful. **Thankfully** I don't think he'll be doing it much.'_

You carefully slide away, just a little. You can't make out all the details but you can tell that Gamzee has grown a lot since you all last saw each other, nearly two sweeps ago. You've grown too, of course – you all have, probably, it happens around this age – but Gamzee was tall to begin with and now... You think you've read somewhere that purple bloods are larger than the average troll. Always.

His height plus his status plus the fact that you know first-hand of his creepiness factor isn't a hard equation to figure out: it all comes down to Gamzee Makara, the troll everyone thought was a  _joke_ for the best part of their lives, is really fucking dangerous and therefore super fucking intimidating.

But after a few minutes of sitting perfectly still (minutes that feel like hours) nothing has happened and you can start to relax again.

You still can't wait to get off this boat, though...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your feedback, both about the askblog and not uwu
> 
> The Easter holidays are soon so I will probably start working on it properly then. Otherwise I will just mess around i expect.
> 
> And it will definitely be for my writing as a whole, not even just my fics.


	23. > Tavros: Follow Vriska.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Actually I'll make just one, just for Adolescence. It will be titled 'Adolescence Ask' and be nice and plain and simple.

> Tavros: Follow Vriska.

You do follow, and have been following for quite some time. You have no idea where you are going, or where you are on Alternia, and getting separated and lost is the last thing you want to do right now. You need to keep reminding yourself that you  _can leave_ , that it doesn't have to get to the stage where her insults and demands are so biting they drive you away. You put you foot down  _before_ then and it isn't too late just to turn around and go.

But you'd feel bad leaving her while she's hurt.

Vriska wheels herself along in front of you, apparently perfectly at ease. She collected her old pack and seems very cheerful about it. She's listening to something on her tunebox, and sometimes she sings along. The lyrics don't exactly help you to be less nervous.

_'In this world there is no_   
_Place for people like you_   
_I'll exterminate you_   
_With my spider bite!'_

Your own pack was heavy enough to begin with, and she's dumped most of her stuff onto you. _'It'll help put some muscle on those weedy arms!'_ she'd said. You politely refrained from saying how, yes, that would be true... but only if your arms don't fall off before that happens. Besides, your arms aren't even all _that_ weedy. You'd been pushing yourself around in a four wheeled device for sweeps and carrying a lance as well!

 _'In my world there is no_  
 _Place for weaklings like you_  
 _I'll exterminate you  
_ _With my spider bite!'_

She's got her husktop open on her lap, alternating between pushing herself along and looking at the keyboard. You assume its to do with a map of some sort. Or at least, you hope it is. Otherwise you don't know _how_ she knows where she's going.

You remind yourself that you  _could_ have animals guide you back, if you wanted.  _You_ don't need a map.

 _'In this world there is no_  
 _Place for people like_ —hurry up a bit, Pupa!' she calls suddenly, breaking off from her song. 'I'll leave you behind if you don't hurry up!' You quicken your pace, running after her. At least your legs won't get tired... although they're pretty heavy...

She waits for you, and you're able to get a glimpse of her husktop screen. It does, indeed, seem to be displaying a map... but also a Trollian memo log, connecting to trolls whose handles you don't recognize... Certainly no one from your group.

Then Vriska leans to the left slightly and completely obscures your view of the screen.

You take this as a hint and don't try to look again.

'This is where we have to go off the trail,' she says. The narrow dirt path you've been following twists to the right up ahead, and Vriska is facing more to the left. She seems to be studying the map intently. 'This is also where it gets a little harder for me.' Abruptly she snaps her husktop closed and, without another word or any warning, pushes herself off the path and straight into the maze of green.

You stumble after her, not wanting to get left behind but also wanting to be close enough to steady the four wheeled device when it inevitably gets a twig jammed in one of the wheels.

 _'I'll exterminate you  
_ _With my spider **bite!'**_

> Karkat: Despair.

This is sooo nooot faaaaaair!!!!!

Terezi has spent practically the whole of the last twelve fucking hours picking at your thinkpan, and you have only just managed to get away. Thankfully, she also seems to've been pretty worn out by her antics and you've bother retired to you 'coons. But you know you're gonna have to face it again tomorrow and sweet troll Jegus you just cannot take this...

...Someone is trolling you. Thank God. You need a distraction before your brains come spurting out of your ears.

\-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] \--

GA: Forgive Me Karkat  
GA: But As You Are The One Usually Referred To As Being The Leader Of The Group I Thought It Best That I Contact You

You sort of wish she _hadn't_ contacted you now. You wanted to worry _less_ , not more, and you don't like where you think this could be going. Generally, you being called 'leader' again is a sure sign of shit hitting the whirling device. It is honestly the only time when people turn to you for help or advice, other than the occasional question involving relationships.

Which you are pretty sure that this isn't about.

You very cautiously type your reply.

CG: WHAT IS IT KANAYA?  
GA: Eridan Is Not Answering Any Of My Messages

...Uh, ok... Not sure why she's contacting you about this...

CG: SO?  
CG: ISN'T IT NORMAL FOR THE DOUCHEBAG TO BLANK YOU FOR DAYS ON END?  
GA: Actually No  
GA: We Usually Make A Point Of Communicating At Least Once A Day  
GA: That And The Last Message I Received Concerned Me Greatly  
CG: WELL WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO ABOUT IT?  
CG: IF HE ISN'T ANSWERING YOU, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK HE'LL GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT WHAT *I* SAY?  
CG: HE'S A SELFISH ASSHOLE BILGESACK WHO JUST DOESN'T GIVE A TWIRLING SHIT ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT MOPING TO HIMSELF AND OCCAISIONALLY YOU.  
GA: I Will Ignore Your Insults As I Am In Something Of A Hurry  
GA: It Is Not Merely Eridan Whom I Am Concerned About  
GA: Feferi Is Not Answering Any Messages Either  
GA: Both I And Nepeta Have Tried  
GA: So I Was Wondering  
GA: When Was The Last Time You Contacted Gamzee?

This makes you pause, wondering what on _Alternia_ **Gamzee** has to do with any of this. You're definitely worried about where this is going now.

CG: THIS EVENING.  
GA: Did You Receive Any Reply?  
CG: WELL YEAH.  
CG: HE ALWAYS REPLIES. HE'S ACTUALLY SORT OF RELIABLE.  
GA: Please Try Again Now  
CG: WHY?  
CG: YOU'RE CREEPING ME OUT HERE KANAYA.  
GA: Please Just Try And Report Your Findings Back To Me  
CG: WHAT IF I HAVE SHIT TO DO AND DON’T WANT TO TALK TO A PAN-DAMAGED CLOWN MORE THAN I HAVE TO?  
GA: Karkat Please  
GA: Do It For Me  
CG: SIGH.  
CG: OK WHAT THE FUCK EVER.

Great. Now she's gone and made you all paranoid when there is probably nothing wrong. But you suppose it can't hurt to do what she says.

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling terminallyCapricious [TC] \--

CG: HEY, GAMZEE, YOU THERE?  
CG: KANAYA'S GETTING ALL WORRIED ABOUT SOME SHIT TO DO WITH ERIDAN AND FEFERI AND WANTED ME TO CONTACT YOU.  
CG: FOR SOME REASON. I DON'T KNOW WHY SHE'D THINK YOU COULD BE INVOLVED AND NOW SHE'S BEING KINDA WEIRD AND EDGY ABOUT IT.  
CG: BUT YOU'RE ALRIGHT, RIGHT?  
CG: YOU'RE OK AND I CAN GO TELL KANAYA TO SCUTTLE OFF BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS FINE, OBVIOUSLY.  
CG: ...  
CG: SWEET JESUS GAMZEE PLEASE ANSWER.  
CG: ...  
CG: PLEASE THIS SILENCE IS FREAKING ME OUT! *SOMETHING* SEEMS TO BE GOING ON AND I NEED TO BE SURE YOU'RE NOT CAUGHT UP IN IT JUST TO SLEEP SOUNDLY AT DAY.  
CG: NOT THAT I SLEEP VERY SOUNDLY OTHERWISE BY THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT.  
CG: GAMZEE?  
CG: OH GOD YOU HAD BETTER BE OK.  
CG: YOU HAD BETTER JUST HAVE FORGOTTEN TO TAKE YOUR HUSKTOP WITH YOU.  
CG: EVEN THOUGH I ALWAYS TELL YOU TO CARRY IT EVERYWHERE.  
CG: AND YOU ALWAYS SAY YOU WILL.  
CG: PLEASE!  
TC: whoa you gotta calm down there palebro!  
CG: GAMZEE!  
CG: THANK *FUCK*!  
CG: WHAT THE HELL TOOK YOU SO LONG TO? SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME!  
TC: sorry bro just took a while to catch my husktop from its cycle.  
CG: OH YEAH YOUR DUMB FETCH MODUS.  
CG: SERIOUSLY I DON'T GET THAT WHY DO YOU EVEN USE IT?  
CG: ACTUALLY WAIT DON'T ANSWER THAT.  
CG: I'M JUST GONNA GO REPORT BACK TO KANAYA FOR A SEC HOLD ON.  
TC: sure thing bro :o)

Feeling very relieved, you open up Kanaya's chat window again. See? Nothing to worry about!

CG: HE ANSWERED AND EVERYTHING'S FINE.  
CG: NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.  
GA: Did He Mentioned Anything About Eridan Or Feferi At All?  
CG: ER, NO?  
CG: NO, WHY THE FUCK WOULD HE?  
CG: LOOK THIS SHIT'S JUST DUMB I'M GOING TO LOG OFF NOW.  
GA: No  
GA: Please Wait  
GA: Please At Least Ask Him About Eridan  
CG: WHAT'S GOING ON BETWEEN YOU TWO ARE YOU PALE OR SOMETHING? YOU KNOW THAT WOULD EXPLAIN SOME SHIT BECAUSE YOU'VE DEFINITELY BEEN TALKING TO HIM MORE THAN YOU'VE BEEN TALKING TO ME LATELY.  
GA: You Could Say That  
GA: Just Please Understand That I Am Worried  
CG: WHATEVER  
CG: OK I'LL GO ASK  
CG: BUT ONLY BECAUSE I'D ASK YOU IF THIS SHIT WAS ABOUT GAMZEE.  
GA: Thank You Very Much  
GA: I Appreciate It

You bring up your moirail's chat again, now more annoyed than anything.

CG: JUST ONE MORE THING AND THEN I'LL STOP BUGGING YOU  
CG: KANAYA WANTS TO KNOW IF YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ERIDAN ASSHOLE  
CG: SHE'S PALE FOR HIM OR SOME SHIT.

You wait a moment, but don't get a response.

CG: UH, GAMZEE?  
CG: FEEL LIKE ANSWERING ANY TIME SOON?  
TC: sorry i was talking about shit with solbro.  
TC: SOME PRETTY BITCHY SHIT'S BEEN GOING DOWN HERE PALEBRO.

CG: UH  
CG: WHY IS SOLLUX THERE?  
CG: FOR THAT MATTER WHERE ARE YOU?

His response fills you with a sort of icy dread.

TC: threshecutioners.  
TC: THEM THRESHEBITCHES BEEN MESSING WITH FEFSIS.  
TC: poor bastard got kinda caught in the crossfire i think.  
CG: I  
CG: SHIT  
CG: IS HE OK? ARE YOU OK?  
CG: WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY CAUGHT IN THE CROSSFIRE?  
CG: AND WHAT ABOUT FEFERI?  
TC: fish sister is fine.  
TC: NONE OF HER COLOUR SPILT TODAY.  
GC: DON'T DO THAT.  
TC: sollux is all tired out but he's ok.  
TC: THE FISH BROTHER THOUGH?  
TC: fair bit of violet running her, bro.  
CG: SHIT I  
CG: FUCK  
CG: FUCK FUCK FUCK  
CG: KANAYA WAS RIGHT. CHAFING HELL IS SOMETHING WRONG.  
CG: OH GOD. HANG ON, JUST LET TELL HER OK?  
TC: sure thing :o)

You are the worst leader in paradox space, past, present and future and the lamest one out of every you there's ever been. How could you be thinking about your own measly problems when your friends are off getting hurt?! Fuck. Fuck. And of course Kanaya was right. Kanaya is always right. You need to learn that.

CG: OH SHIT KANAYA YOU WERE RIGHT I'M SO SORRY.  
GA: What Is It  
GA: Tell Me What Has Happened  
CG: SOME SHIT WITH THRESHECUTIONERS.  
CG: IMPERIAL FORCES OR WHATEVER.  
CG: I THINK FEFERI JUST SURVIVED HER FIRST ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT.  
GA: What About Eridan  
GA: Tell Me Now Or God Help Me

You swallow. You are not looking forward to tell her this. You remember the outcome of her anger all too well and have no desire to find yourself on the bladed, sharp, rotating end of a chainsaw. Usually she's nowhere near that ubreasonable but if she really is irrationally pale for that guy... well. Who knows?

CG: I  
CG: FUCK  
CG: ACCORDING TO GAMZEE  
CG: AND I STRESS, ACCORDING TO A BRAIN-DAMAGED CLOWN  
CG: HE GOT HURT.

GA: What Do You Mean By Hurt  
GA: How Serious Is The Injury  
CG: LOOK I DON’T KNOW.  
CG: GAMZEE DIDN'T GIVE SPECIFICS AND ALSO THE WAY HE DESCRIBES IT IS CREEPY AND I'D RATHER NOT READ MUCH OF IT.

There is a tense pause, in which all you can do is chew on your nails and wait for her reply.

GA: I Think I Will Open A Memo

\-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] \--

Ok... what?

\-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] has invited carcinoGeneticist [CG] caligulasAquarium [CA] terminallyCapricious [TC] cuttlefishCuller [CC] to memo on board The Current Situation Regarding Eridan A Feferi P And Gamzee M \--

Huh. Alright then.

GA: Are We All Here?  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] responded to memo.  
CG: ER...  
TC: yeah.  
TC: though you forgot solbro.  
GA: I Apologize  
GA: Karkat Had Not Mentioned Him As Being Relevant  
twinArmageddons [TA] responded to memo.  
TA: whatever.  
TA: what's this even ab0ut? i am really fucking tired and my head is killing me s0 just end this quickly.  
GA: You May Ignore This If You Wish Sollux  
GA: Now Would Somebody Kindly Explain To Me What Is Going On?  
GA: That Was The Main Purpose Of Setting Up This Memo  
TA: the c0ndesce sent f0rces to assassinate feferi.  
TA: we t0asted their asses pretty damn well if i d0 say s0 myself.  
GA: I Had Gathered That  
GA: Where Is Feferi?  
terminallyCapricious [TC] responded to memo.  
TC: she’s pulling the boat.  
TC: SHE’S MOTHERFUCKING FAST :o)  
CG: SHIT HOW FAR AWAY ARE YOU FROM THE SHORE?  
TA: pretty cl0se i think we’ll be there s00n.  
TA: we're g0ing pretty damn fast.  
CG: I HAVE TO GET DOWN THERE.  
CG: THIS IS SERIOUS. THIS WON'T BE THE ONLY FUCKING ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT.  
CG: FUCK I FEEL AWFUL  
CG: I SHOULD'VE SEEN THIS COMING AND I SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DO SOMETHING.  
TA: st0p beating y0urself up KK.  
TA: we all sh0uld’ve seen it c0ming.  
TA: because it always was.  
CG: I'M COMING DOWN THERE  
CG: GIVES ME AN EXCUSE TO LEAVE TEREZI'S PLACE ANYWAY.  
TA: wh0a you're at TZ's? Naughty Karkat.  
CG: SHUT UP, THIS IS THE TIME FOR SHITDICKING AROUND.  
CG: I SWEAR IF I HAVE TO LIVE THROUGH ANOTHER OF HER MIND GAMES MY HEAD WILL IMPLODE.  
CG: OR MAYBE EXPLODE.  
gallowsCalibrator [GC] responded to memo.  
GC: WH4T'S GO1NG ON H3R3?  
CG: HOLY DISGUSTING DICKMONGERING FUCKSPONGES.  
GC: 4W, DON'T L34V3 4LR34DY K4RKL3S!  
GA: I Apologize For Still Not Knowing How To Privatize These Things  
CG: THIS IS SERIOUS TEREZI!  
CG: I AM NOW IN LEADER MODE. NO MATTER HOW SHITTY I AM AT IT *SOMEONE* HAS TO TRY AND HEARD THIS BUNCH OF RABID MEOWBEASTS.  
CG: IT'S BEEN TOO LONG SINCE WE MET UP. SINCE MORE SHIT IS HITTING MORE WHIRLING DEVICES THAN IT EVER HAS BEFORE, I SUGGEST THAT WE ALL MEET UP SOME PLACE.  
CG: IN FACT I ORDER IT.  
CG: AS YOUR LEADER.  
GA: Sounds Like A Fairly Reasonable Idea  
GA: Although It Will Take A While For Me To Reach You I Expect  
GA: Considering That I Am On Practically The Opposite side Of The Planet To You  
GC: C4N SOM3BODY PL34S3 3XPL41N TO M3 WH4T 1S GO1NG ON?  
CG: SCROLL UP AND KEEP QUIET.  
TA: well where are we meeting up?  
TC: my pad has enough room for everyone :o)  
GC: W41T WH4T TH3 FUCK?

carcinoGenecist [CG] banned gallowsCalibrator [GC] from responding to memo.

CG: I'LL EXPLAIN IT TO HER LATER  
CG: ONCE WE'VE GOT SOME MORE SHIT SORTED OUT.  
CG: SO I GUESS WE'LL ALL BE MEETING UP AT GAMZEE'S. SPREAD THE WORD, BECAUSE I WANT LITERALLY EVERYONE THERE, NO MATTER WHAT CORNER OF THE LIFE-SUPPORTING SPHERE THEY ARE ON, NO FUCKING EXCUSES OR SO HELP ME.  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] signed out of memo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Lyrics belong to 'Spider8ite!!!!!!!' in the the fan album, 'Tombs of the Ancestors'.)
> 
> NOTICE: looking ahead, it appears that my editing will be far more extensive than I had previously planned. The plot itself will probably be vastly changed, unless I have another change of heart. I am keeping copies of the current draft just in case I change my mind, but also making massive changes.
> 
> I.e., I am planning to remove the OCs and write a completely new Intermission and start to Act 2. The rest of the plot will flow pretty smoothly without them. The fact that they are completely unnecessary to the damn story goes to show how ridiculous an idea it was.
> 
> I just... hate it. So much. What i wrote for that. It was such a stupid, weeaboo-ish thing to do and I'm better than that.
> 
> So basically, there will be longer gaps between updates, is what I am saying.
> 
> (On the bright(er) side, I can now shamelessly use those OCs in other things where they are more fitting.)


	24. > Vriska: Lead way into ancient tomb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here have an askblog: http://adolescenceaskblog.tumblr.com/

> Vriska: Lead way into ancient tomb.

It's not technically a tomb but whatever. You lead the way in, being careful on the uneven flagstones.

There are no stairs, which is good, and after a few yards in a dank tunnel carved into the rock, you and Tavros emerge into a large and elegant, if overgrown and very neglected, courtyard, carved into the yellowish stone. It's very stylish and stately, in your opinion – under the vines and leaves, the stone is engraved with complicated patterns and there are regular half-pillars carved around the outside. There's even a dried up fountain in the middle. Fit for a blueblood. You fucking approve.

You look back to check on your companion. Tavros is looking around in undisguised awe, allowing his bag to trail on the ground.

But what you're looking for won't be up here, bathed by the cold late-night moonlight. Everything is underground, hidden from plain view... It is so incredibly lucky that you have so much experience with pointless puzzles and ridiculous quests!

Now, how to get inside...

You examine the fountain. There is a circular groove all around it which doesn't seem to be part of the architecture. After some careful examination and precarious leaning which isn't too kind to the gash on your side, you have concluded that yes, this is probably the way in. For one thing, there's no water line on the inside, suggesting that the fountain was never really a fountain in the first place. For another, the sym69l is minutely engraved around the rim at regular intervals.

'Come over here, Tavros,' you say, voice sounding clearly enough through the quiet courtyard. Tavros quickly scampers over, metal feet tapping loudly against the stone.

'It's probably something to do with the fountain,' you say. 'Help me poke around it a bit and see if anything happens.' He makes a sound of agreement, before hovering around the outside for a few seconds and then stepping into the fountain, running his hands around the inside rim. You yourself wheel all around the outside, poking at any loose-looking flagstones in an attempt to find some sort of lever.

Suddenly you hear a faint grinding sound and look up. You don't see anything. Tavros is looking around in confusion as well as the grinding gets steadily louder.

You open your mouth to tell him to get ready to run, because images of tumbling boulders and collapsing floors are flashing across your mind's eye scarily realistically... when the whole fountain starts to move.

Tavros gives a little squeak and clutches to a shaft of stone in a middle which looks like it may once have been a statue. The fountain vibrates and then slowly starts sinking into the ground. Tavros gives another frightened squeak and leaps off. The rumbling, and sinking, abruptly stop.

'Get back in, stupid!' you order, wheeling your way round to face the fountain. Tavros looks at you as if he thinks you're crazy, and you sigh in frustration. This idiot. 'I'll join you when it's low enough for me to get in,' you explain. 'Honest! I'm not going to send you off into a dark pit on your own! I'm not that bad!' That is a lie - you are that bad - but you don’t plan to be this time. Tavros gives you a nervous look before gingerly stepping back in. With another rumble, and another squeak from your friend, the fountain starts to descend again.

You _could_ get up and push the device in, but you have another plan. It means pitching yourself forward over a sharp drop though, even if it is only two feet. You at least hope that Tavros has enough sense and coordination to catch you...

...And amazingly, he does.

While the four wheeled device tips almost vertically, you are kept reasonably the right way up by the pair of strong if awkward arms around your torso. Similar images from your perspective, involving the white of a fairy dress and a lot of leaf-green, pop up from the recesses of your memories... and are swiftly shoved away as the two of you descend, into the darkness and the unknown.

This is a _moment_. You have no desire for it to be ruined.

> Karkat: Freak the fuck out.

Sweet troll Jegus this is it all of the shit is going to happen now right now with assassination attempts your blood colour friends dying your blood colour imperial drones your blood colour filling quadrants your _blood colour_...

Things had been going so well and, like the complete idiot you are, you'd fooled yourself into thinking that they'd stay that way. And now this is happening. Fuck. Fuck. You are the worst leader ever to have existed, and ever will exist, in every universe ever. No leader in the universe – or any universe – could ever possibly be shittier at it than you... So why the fuck are you one still??

You plan to abdicate as soon as you can. You never _asked_ to be born a fucking pariah. Or cullbait on legs. Someone else can take over the burden who might actually be _good_ at it. Like Kanaya. She seems to be a pretty leaderly person. Or Feferi, who _is_ the Heiress Apparent after all... It'll be good practice for her! She'll be glad at the chance! _Please!_

You are interrupted from your internal freak-out by a hand on your shoulder. You jump about a foot in the air. God, you're tense.

'Shoosh,' says Terezi, patting you. 'Your anxiety is so thick I can barely smell anything else. I've already nearly walked into a tree – twice.' She's gotten more serious, thank God, since you managed to hammer the seriousness of the situation into her thinkpan. But in your opinion she's still taking everything too lightly! She obviously doesn't feel the stress like you do... well, she's not the established leader!

Your shoulders ache from your constant tension and your pack isn't getting any lighter either. That and you're tired as fuck. Everything bad that could ever possibly happen is happening now and you're the one who has to deal with it all.

It's hard being the leader of twelve dysfunctional _Ohscrew this shit!_ You're way too tired for those dumb clichés.

You can't wait to get to Gamzee's. All you want to do is flop down on the floor and sleep.

> Tavros: Pilfer ancient temple.

Well, it isn't exactly pilfering, you guess, because you haven't exactly taken anything physical, but Vriska sort of shoved a camera into your hands and told you to take pictures of anything you thought was interesting or important, so you guess that you're sort of... pilfering information?

It's been surprisingly (deceptively) easy so far and you're a little anxious. You keep expecting for traps to spring or the exit to close. But the fountain stays exactly where it is and nothing's happened yet, and anyway Vriska seems perfectly at ease. So you guess it's ok. But it's also cold and dark and creepy so the trap factor is only part of the issue. Everything is stone and the only light comes from the hole in the ceiling, Vriska's small flashlight, Vriska's husktop's screen, and the two lanterns, one in your hand and the other hanging off the back of the four wheeled device. The swinging motion makes the light flicker and doesn't do anything to lower the Scary Factor.

And if you just left... well, then you'd definitely be a coward. Also, you don't think the fountain-thing can be operated from inside, so that's be trapping Vriska and you don't want to do that.

You just wish you knew what you were looking for! Vriska had said that it would be obvious as soon as you saw it, but you don't think it can be that easy. You keep meaning to ask her more about it, but she's very intently examining the left-hand wall and you're nervous about disturbing her. You think there must be some carvings on something on there because she's taken a lot of pictures and keeps on looking back and forth between the wall and her husktop.

'We,' she suddenly declares, voice echoing around the room and almost making you drop the camera, 'are in the Handmaid's Tomb.' You hurry over, finally able to get a good look at what's carved into the walls.

They're letters, old, fancy and chipped in a few places, but definitely letters, and letters you recognize. But the words they form don't make any sense at all.

Vriska shines the beam of the flashlight over a certain spot in the wall and says, voice ringing clearly through the silence and much, _much_ too loudly, 'in honor of her final request, we built the Tomb of the Handmaid.' You squint at the words, but you can't make head or tail of them.

'You can read this?' you ask, awed. Vriska rolls her eyes. You can tell because her whole head moves. Nope, you were wrong, then.

'I'm using a translator, silly,' she said, gesturing to the husktop screen. The angle makes the screen look funny but you can sort of make out two boxes, one with modern Alternian in and the other with the odd arrangement of letters. Vriska clicks the flashlight off and begins to wheel herself away, towards the back of the chamber. You follow close behind, suddenly even more nervous than you were before.

'T-tomb?' you stammer, looking quickly around for any sign of a coffin or a gravestone or – _ohpleaseno_ – a skeleton.

'Mm,' Vriska replies, nodding her head. She remains perfectly at ease as she gives a large slab in the wall an experimental push. With a grind of ancient stone the slab swings open like a door, revealing only darkness beyond. 'Although I doubt it's really a tomb,' she continues, holding her lantern aloft and pushing herself forward without even a trace of hesitation. 'I don't see how they could've gotten her body because—ah ha!' She stops, and you nearly run into her. You look up.

And nearly scream.

Towering above you, from floor to ceiling, is a fully grown adult troll.

For a few seconds you freeze, staring at its blank, emotionless face and fully expecting it to move at any moment, to bring down its weapons and cull you where you stand... before your bloodpusher calms down a bit and you realize that it's fine, that it's only a statue, and that it isn't going to hurt you.

'You ok, Pupa?' Vriska politely enquirers, having twisted herself around to look at you. You close your mouth and give a jerky nod, never taking your eyes away from the statue. It looks so real... You don't know much about architecture but you know that sweeps of labor from truly expert trolls must have gone into this... You hold the lantern a little higher, trying to get a better look at its face.

You do a sort of double take and almost drop the lantern.

'It's Aradia!' you blurt out, staring up at the statue's face. You don't need the distinctive horns or hairline to know – you recognize the face as you would recognize the girl. The eyes, the lips... even the jaw line, everything is exactly the same.

'It's not,' Vriska says flatly, significantly ruining the moment. 'But it is her ancestor.' She begins to wheel herself all around the statue, lantern's own light helping to reveal yet more of the figure. The statue's arms are raised, holding two smooth sticks that appear to be wands. But the eyes are blank and empty, no pupils, and there isn't a single spot of color anywhere on the whole figure. You guess it could have been painted, and just faded or flaked off over time, but it looks more as if it's been left deliberately blank.

'Who was she?' you ask quietly, although what you really mean is, _'what did she do?'_ What action or crime did she perform to merit a temple being built in her memory? Who of her blood color would ever be honored like this?

'She was known as a demoness,' Vriska replies, staring intently at her husktop screen, ' _the_ Demoness, although she wasn't really. As far as I know, she was forced for thousands of years to serve Lord English.'

This time, you do drop the lantern.

'Keep your metal pants on,' Vriska says, not looking away from the screen. 'English is pretty definitely gone. But that doesn't mean he never existed. I'm still not sure how that works.' She looks at you at last, and you sort of wish she hadn't because the light makes her face look eerie, peering out at you from the darkness like a white moon, the shadows around her eyes and nose horribly exaggerated.

'There's still a lot no one understands,' she says. 'It doesn't help that I'm the only one involved who remembers the world ending at all. The others just sort of theorize that something along those lines must've happened.'

'"The others"?' you repeat, confused. She's told you so little, saying that you'd just work it out or she's tell you more whenever the questions came up. In response to this one, she gives a casual wave of her hand and says,

'There's a small group of us, going around, pilfering temples and waiting for Karkat to get his head outta his ass and realize his heritage. They existed before the game but we just didn't know about them. And after I did some digging I found them.' She makes it sound simple enough, but all she's really done is created more questions and hasn’t really answered the first one at all.

Vriska turns back to her husktop and you decide not to disturb her again, focusing instead on the statue once more. This time, however, its Vriska who chooses to break the silence.

'She was forced to work for him,' she said. 'And she hated it. Fuck, who wouldn't? I'm not saying she was entirely opposed to what she was doing, though – some records suggest she was having a _great_ time wrecking shit, although they tend to be from later on in her life. But she always hated her master.' Vriska hasn't looked up, but you seem to be the one she's talking to. You look at her, waiting for her to continue, not really sure what to do with yourself.

'She knew everything about the old world,' Vriska continues, fingers clicking over the husktop keyboard. 'Old fart must've hammered it into her pretty hard. From what we've found, she spread the word as a sort of revenge. A way of undoing what he'd done through her. Sort of _poetic_ , really.' She wheels herself to the back of the room, examining yet more ancient carvings. It occurs to you that you should probably pick up the lantern, which you do.

'If she hadn't, the cult probably would've died out completely by now,' she mutters, seemingly more to herself than to you as she runs her fingers over the icy stone, feeling out the letters beneath half-darkness and shadows.

And it is in the precise moment she sets the lantern down that you realize you've been dragged head-first into the deepest mess of danger and darkness you ever have been in your life, and that if you don't back out again  _right that second_ , you will probably regret it for the rest of your life.

In the next moment, you realize that, maybe... you don't actually mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (The writing's in Troll Latin btw)
> 
> When this fic was on FF.Net, one lovely person did fanart for this chapter!! http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=19p2rd&s=6


	25. > Nepeta: Try trolling Feferi again.

> Nepeta: Try trolling Feferi again.

\-- arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC] \--

AC: :33 < *ac is wondering if cc will be able to reply this time*  
AC: :33 < *she is also wondering if cc got her last message*  
AC: :33 < *and whether she must purrpeat herself*  
CC: )(ello Nepeta  
AC: :33 < *ac is pawsitively ecstatic about her furend replying!*  
CC: Sorry Nepeta but now isn't a very good time 38(  
AC: :33 < *ac wonders what could have happurrned*  
AC: :(( < *to make her furend sound so sad!*  
CC: Bad t)(ings )(ave )(appened  
CC: -Eridan got )(urt and it's all my fault.  
AC: :33 < :??   
CC: Sorry Nepeta but I'm not in the mood or situation for RPing rig)(t now. 38(  
AC: :33 < that is purrfectly ok  
AC: :33 < but what happened?  
CC: The Condesce tried to assassinate me.  
AC: :OO < oh no!  
AC: :33 < are you ok?  
CC: I am fine.  
CC: But –Eridan was )(urt really badly.  
AC: :33 < it must be bad if you are not using any puns! :OO  
AC: :33 < will he be ok?  
CC: I don't know  
CC: Sollux is trying to )(elp )(im.  
CC: I don't know what Gamzee is doing.  
CC: Sollux says )(e s)(ould be ok but I can tell t)(at )(e's only saying that to make me feel better 38(  
CC: I feel as if I've been suc)( a bad friend to )(im.  
CC: Maybe t)(is wouldn't )(ave )(appened if I'd been a better one.  
AC: :33 < don't say things like that!  
AC: :33 < he did terrible things to you and to ofurs and you still furgave him!  
AC: :33 < i think that makes you a very good furend!  
CC: )(e wouldn't even talk to me, but )(e still risked )(is life!  
CC: I don't t)(ink )(e ever stopped loving me, Nepeta.  
AC: :33 < it'll be ok furferi!  
AC: :33 < i'm sure it will!  
CC: I'm not. You )(aven't seen him.  
AC: :33 < hes strong though right?  
CC: I don't know. When he spoke to me before, it sounded like he was just giving up.  
CC: It feels like I don't know him anymore. If I ever did at all.  
AC: :(( < :((  
CC: I need to go.  
AC: :33 < ok

\-- cuttlefishCuller [CC] ceased being trolled by arsenicCatnip [AC] \--

> Feferi: Check on Eridan.

Nepeta is a good friend. The two of you have been closer since the game and afterlife shenanigans. But even she can't make you feel better, not about the situation, not about yourself. You leave the husktop open on the nutritionblock table, just in case someone else wants to use it, and turn towards the open door. Across the hall is the recreationblock, and in that block is Eridan.

You want so badly to be with him but hate every second you have to spend watching him hurt. Nevertheless you approach him, because not knowing what's happening is far worse than seeing what is.

Eridan's still form lies on the dark purple couch, cleaned of every spot of blood and every grain of sand. A thick grey blanket lies across him, obscuring most of his body from view, and the dark colors seem to swallow him up, making him look even smaller than he had seemed on the boat. The little amount of skin visible is far too pale, sickly-looking, and you can tell even from your vantage point – the other side of the room – that he is struggling to breathe.

Silently you cross the block, kneel beside the couch and feel for his hand beneath the blanket. He's too cold, even for a sea dweller, and the bones on his hand stick out in a way that can't be natural. He's too thin. You had barely registered it when you'd first pulled him from the water, but part of you had realized that his ribs were too prominent, his cheeks too hollow. You know he's been neglecting himself but he still fought for you and maybe if you'd been a proper friend then this never would have happened.

You choke back a sob, willing yourself not to start crying again. Sollux, who is hunched on the floor beside you, places a comforting hand on you back. He says nothing, however – there is nothing to say.

'We did what we could.' Empty, meaningless words. Gamzee lurks at the other end of the block, shrouded in shadows, watching silently. You don't look at him. Don't look at anyone. Just glare at the floor and try to control the grief and despair which threatens to swallow you whole.

While a small part of you constantly repeats in a foolish mantra that he's not dead, that there's still hope, that he's a sea-dweller and that makes him tough, the rest of you simply feels lost. Eridan already looks like a corpse.

> Sollux: Leave

The funeral-like atmosphere is seriously getting to you. You want to punch something, or shout, do anything to release the pent-up rage and confusion and fear within you. But doing so would only make things worse... so you simply have to leave.

You go into the nutritionblock. Gamzee'd lent his husktop to Feferi while you and he had attempted to sort out the double gash of crooked lightning that marred Eridan's chest. You consider using it, but you still have your hornset and you doubt that Gamzee would appreciate you licking the screen anyway. You're still as wary as fuck around him and for good damn reasons.

You sit down at the table and scan through your contacts, but there's no one online who you'd care to talk to. For a while all you can do is sit, tapping your fingers on the wooden tabletop and try to ignore the grief-leaden atmosphere that is slowly oozing from the recreationblock and through the hive, like pus from an infected wound. You don't know how Gamzee can stand it. Or maybe he's actually enjoying it. That would make sense, knowing him. Heck, he might even be waiting for another body to drag off...

As soon as Ampora gets better, you are giving him a hard punch in the gut. No one has the right to make Feferi this upset, particularly not a guy who hasn't even said one word to her for almost two sweeps. Particularly not someone who killed her once. _More_ than once, if you count different timelines. Feferi is way too fucking forgiving. Sometimes you wonder if she's even a troll at all...

Eridan Ampora had better fucking survive. You and he have some serious shit to go through.


	26. > Nepeta: Relay Karkitty's orders to your meowrail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can somebody maybe ask a question on the blog ok thank

> Nepeta: Relay Karkitty's orders to your meowrail.

\-- arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling centaursTesticle [CT] \--

AC: :33 < equius!  
AC: :33 < equius please answer!  
AC: :33 < it's impurrrtant equius!  
CT: D --> What is it Nepeta  
CT: D --> I apologize but i am currently engaged in other activities  
AC: :33 < karkitty has given us an order as leader!  
CT: D --> Oh  
CT: D --> Really that is  
CT: D --> Interesting  
AC: :33 < yes!  
AC: :33 < we are all to m33t up at gamzee's hive asap

CT: D --> The highb100d?  
AC: :33 < yes!  
AC: :33 < karkitty says it's really impawtant!  
AC: :// < ...  
AC: :33 < come on equius itll be ok! besides you wouldnt want to disobey a direct order would you  
CT: D --> I am afraid that going w001d be f001ish  
CT: D --> Nepeta i am concerned for your safety  
AC: :33 < karkitty says it's safe and i trust karkitty!  
AC: :33 < besides efurryone is going!  
AC: :33 < karkitty will be there to keep the highb100d in line  
CT: D --> I am still unsure  
AC: :33 < well  
AC: ;33 < aradia will be there too...

CT: D --> I see  
AC: :33 < does this change matters at all mr zahhak?  
CT: D --> I  
CT: D --> Yes indeed it does  
CT: D --> I  
CT: D --> I believe I may require a towel  
AC: :33 < ew  
AC: :33 < so are we going?  
CT: D --> I suppose  
CT: D --> Yes we are  
AC: :DD < yaaaaaaay!

\-- arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased trolling centaursTesticle [CT] \--

CT: D --> But I e%pect you to be on your best behavior  
CT: D --> No running around and acting as if the hive is your own  
CT: D --> You will act with the eloquence and gratitude befitting one taking temporary residence in a highb100d's hive  
CT: D --> Nepeta?  
CT: D --> Darn it

> Equius: Be Sollux.

You are now Sollux. Been a while since we've had that sort of command, huh?

You're slumped on the floor next to the couch, really fucking tired but both unable and unwilling to sleep. The three of you you and Feferi have set up a sort of unofficial rotor system for 'watching' Eridan. Gamzee isn't included because he's done nothing but be creepy since arriving. So you're here beside Eridan while the other two at least attempt to get some rest. Gamzee disappeared upstairs a couple of hours ago, probably to his respiteblock and recuperacoon, but you can hear Feferi moving restlessly around the nutritionblock (the door is thick but your ears are keen), unable to sleep or even sit down.

Your anger at Eridan Ampora has not lessened in the slightest. It may even have increased. How he can be so irritating while not even conscious is beyond you, and you know he isn't like this on purpose, but...

But fuck it! Feferi's upset and you're stuck in the hive of a murderer and you feel as if you haven't slept for days and really, well... you need someone to blame, you guess. Your inner voice of reason isn't being very helpful today, although that's mostly because it's being drowned out by your inner voice of unreason, which is telling you very plainly just how much you (platonically, it is definitely platonic) hate Eridan Ampora's stupid fishy guts with all of your mutated being.

Thinking of the asshole... A quiet groan interrupts you reverie, and you look towards the couch. Well, angle your head so that your eye sockets are pointing at it. It's an automatic response, if practically pointless.

'Where... am I?' the sea-troll breaths, shifting slightly and wincing. He's dropped his accent. You guess doubling his Ws takes too much effort or something.

'Gamzee's hive,' you reply, keeping your voice carefully devoid of emotion. You are answered by another groan, and more shifting. You realize he's probably trying to sit up and quickly get onto your knees, facing him and automatically putting a restraining hand on his shoulder.

'Fuckin' hell,' he hisses, face screwed up in pain. You don't think he's opened his eyes yet. 'What the fuck ewen happened?' His speech impediment is still a thing though. Eridan stops moving and gingerly puts one hand to his chest, wincing as he prods it lightly and swearing again. It is only after you have forcefully jerked his hand away that he even bothers to look at you.

You are not, however, expecting his response.

'Holy shit, Sol, what happened to your fuckin' _eyes?_ ' For a moment you can only sit there, mouth slightly open, looking like a complete idiot.

'You've forgotten,' you say eventually. Not as a question, but more of a way of trying to make it sound real. 'You have actually... _forgotten_.' Your voice sounds almost foreign to your own eyes, incredulous and also a bit miffed. Eridan Ampora has actually gone and forgotten about the worst thing he has ever done to you.

Then suddenly you're applying more pressure than you really intended to on his chest, leaning right over him, trying as you try to pick up as much about him as you can with the senses you have left. He's confused, yes, you can tell that from his voice, and his eyes have widened considerably and he is definitely intimidated by you.

_Good!_

'What's the last thing you remember?' you demand, keeping your voice low so that it hopefully won't attract Feferi's attention. You want to make the most of this.

Ampora squirms back into the couch cushions, and you can tell he's thoroughly freaked-out. You don't need to smell his emotions – which you can't do anyway – because his body language reads like a fucking book.

'Angels!' he gasps, and somewhere in you realizes that this can't be very kind on his injuries. Well, screw that. 'Fuckin' angels, Sol, ewerywhere!' You pause, considering this. You do not, however, lessen the pressure in the slightest, even when he attempts to squirm backwards again and gives a pathetic little whine of pain and fear.

'C-can you maybe let up a bit?' he gasps, 'I can't fuckin' breath!' There is something so good about how scared he sounds, and especially about how you're the one causing it. So, so good. So you definitely do not 'let up a bit'.

'That was sweeps ago,' you say, voice strangely calm compared to your body and mind. His disbelief is almost tangible. As is the anger that follows.

'Don't fuck with me!' he snarls, trying to sound intimidating while being pinned to a couch. So pathetic it's sort of ridiculous. 'That can't be fuckin' ri— _ah!_ ' Idiot made the mistake of pushing against your hand, probably trying to sit up again, and now he's pretty much writhing on the couch, clawing at your hand with jagged nails in a desperate attempt to free himself.

'Fuck! Fuck! Get the fuck off me, Captor!' This time, you do. But only because there's a danger of him raising his voice enough that it actually carries into the other room, and you sure as hell don't want Feferi coming in. Eridan rolls onto his side, both arms wrapped around himself, cursing through clenched teeth. You can hear him panting and it sounds sort of raspy and it is with a small pang of guilt that you realize at least part of the injury's begun to internally bleed again.

It's only as he starts to cough wetly, the sickly-sweet grape of his blood sort of tangy in the air, that you realize you went too far.

Internal injuries notwithstanding, though, he still finds enough breath to take a bite back at you.

'Funny,' he snarls between coughs. 'Didn't know you thought about me that way, Sol.' The heat of your anger is instantly washed away by an icy sense of something very akin to dread.

'I mean,' he somehow manages to lever himself up on one elbow, despite the fact that he's shaking all over and obviously fighting for each breath, 'it's a bit sudden, but maybe we could work somethin’ out. Come to an agreement. My black is kinda open now, after all.' _Fuck him._ Fuck him to the darkest recesses of hell! Into the Furthest fucking Ring with all the fucking Horrorterrors! The smirk in his voice just serves to make it worse.

You aren't really thinking straight. You bring your fist down hard on his chest and he makes a strangled sort of choking sound. But as you storm from the room – into where you're not sure but sure as hell not the nutrition block – you can hear the weak wheeze of his laugh and you _hate him so damn much!_

And the worst thing about, the thing that motherfucking _takes the goddamn cake_ , is how right he seems to be.

It'll pass, you tell yourself, near desperate with mortification at your own feelings. He's just somehow managed to do it 'right' for the first time in his miserable excuse of life. And because he didn't even mean to be so (wonderfully) annoying, it won't last. Eridan will soon go back to being the most _platonically_ hated troll in everyone's lives. Besides, you're little more than a jangling bag of hormones anyway. It'll pass.

Just... what the shit are you gonna do until it does?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Sollux will continue to stew in his feelings for an indefinite amount of time, because I haven't actually gotten round to properly addressing them yet.)


	27. > Vriska: Finish reading log.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vriska's bit is where I've done one of the biggest changes so sorry if there are any inconsistencies.
> 
> (I don't know if that's really a way of cheating on a contract but neither does Vriska really and it doesn't matter that much as far as plot is concerned.)

> Vriska: Finish reading log.

...Well, this messes with your plans a little.

The first message was about some get-together plan with the other girls, which you didn't care for and probably would've chosen not to go to even if you weren't busy trekking through forests and jungles and ancient not-tombs. The second, however, is a command from your ‘recognized leader’ (ha, ha, ha), and although it is mostly raging he does have some valid points. But if you go it'll pull you back far too soon and you've been sort of relying on not meeting anyone in person so that you can avoid awkward questions.

But maybe now is as good a time as any to tell him anyway...

You can't actually talk it through though because, in a coincidence that is as fantastic as it is cruel, everyone else is offline and you missed the actual message because obviously there's no internet connection underground, duh. That and the networking is a bit funny so you might not have been able to reply anyway. Tech is so not your thing. Nor is it Tavros’, so even between you, there's nothing you can do.

You hate it when there's nothing you can do.

Said troll is sleeping beside you, curled up on the hard stone tiles and yet apparently perfectly comfortable. It's cute, but also a little irritating just because of how _well_ he's sleeping. You know you would never be able to achieve such peace without at least a double concentration of sopor. Right now you can't even sleep at all.

You groan quietly and rub your aching eyes. You don't exactly regret bringing him, and he's been helpful, though it does make you feel as if there's even more pressure on you than usual. You do not like having pressure on you. You're used to being free.

Tavros has been following you around like a confused barkbeast, not entirely sure what to do with itself and figuring its best just to stick close to its owner. Which you are not and do not want to be, but now sort of are anyway.

_Ugh!_

It is too bloody bright, and you don't know how he can stand it. Even in the shade, it is way too fucking hot and the light reflects off the stone like a goddamn mirror... well not exactly like a mirror but intensely enough that you've had to shut your far more sensitive seven-pupil eye from the pain, making it even harder to see the husktop screen.

Speaking of which...

Oh, god. Now? Now?? Instantly, you are furious. _This fucking guy...!_ You want to strangle him. Slowly. And then while he’s still alive, skin him. Then, keelhaul his half-dead ass. And finally, cut his body into tiny little pieces to feed to sharks on their breakfast cereal.

\-- ???? [??] began trolling arachnidsGrip [AG] \--

??: Well?  
??: Have you done it yet?  
AG: Oh my god! Give me some freaking time already!  
AG: I am hurt. You know I’m hurt. I had a 8ad 8r8k and will therefore 8e working slower than usual!!!!!!!!  
??: Injury is no excuse. You vowed to do your utmost to support our cause.  
AG: Well fuck that! I’m gonna 8e 8usy for a time ok????????  
AG: My *friend* wants us all 8ack at another friend’s place and nothing you say will stop me from going!  
??: Your ‘friends’ hate you, remember? Why on alternia would they want you back?  
AG: Haha! That is where you are WRONG, stupid 8lack-text guy! If they hated me then they would also not have invited me to a party they are planning, which I will also go to SO THERE!!!!!!!!  
??: You are behaving like a child. A brattish one at that.

Later you will tell yourself it was the heat, stress and probably blood-loss that made you do it. At the moment, though, you are just too full of hate and anger to think straight, and therefore realize that you are being incredibly stupid.

AG: Well deal with it! I am done with your 8ullshit. COMPLETELY DONE.  
??: You do remember the terms of our agreement, don’t you?  
AG: Oh, please.  
AG: Telling him would just 8e another nail in the corpse 8ox for your plans which, 8y the way, are all pieces of shit anyway!!!!!!!!  
AG: You need me, 8ut you are too dum8 to realize that I am NOT your willing sl8ve. I could have quit ANY time I wanted!  
AG: And I am choosing to now.  
??: Your friends then. They are not important.  
AG: Well, here is where I prove how I outsmarted you so thoroughly it was 8eautiful and shall be commemor8ted on Alternia for the rest of time:  
AG: That  
AG: Contract  
AG: Is........  
AG: ........

AG: INVALID motherfucker!!!!!!!!  
AG: My name is not ‘Serkit’, idiot. It is ‘SerkEt’!  
AG: Check out that loophole with any legisl8cerator you want. They’ll all say the same thing:  
AG: She got you sooooooo good, you stupid dum8 asshole.  
??: I hope you realize the inevitable outcome of your actions.  
??: Contact me again when you change your mind.  
AG: 8eat it, looser!

arachnidsGrip [AG]  blocked ???? [??]

You set your husktop aside with a flourish and lean back against the wall, thrill of victory lasting only a few seconds before the light gets to you again. You wince, kneading your temples and closing your other eye. You are so, _so_ tired it's not even funny. Or maybe it is and that's the joke. You don't know. Don't want to know. But sleeping dry has always been a pain and your side hurts and you've pulled muscles you didn't even know you had from wheeling yourself around all day and your head feels like it's about to be split in two by knives driving into the back of your eyes. Fuck the sunlight. Fuck the sun. Fuck the stupid Alternian sun. The Earth sun was so much kinder...

But you try not to think about that.

Tavros shifts slightly in his sleep beside you, and you look round eagerly in case he's waking up. But no. He's smiling in his sleep now and probably dreaming about something lovely. And you don't have quite enough meanness and madness inside you to wake him up. Besides, he can push.

How Tavros dodges the day-terrors is a mystery to you. Though you expect its something to do with how he never seems to feel hate or anger anymore.

You sort of envy him for that, actually. Not that you’re planning on letting him know.

With a sigh, you close you eyes again and try to relax. You know you won't be able to sleep but you might as well rest. Sweet Signless, are you tired...

> Kanaya: Walk.

You are walking and have been doing so for quite some time. The sun is quite pleasant but you're starting to sweat, and you are regretting the fact that you haven’t made an outfit more suited to traveling. As fashionable as these shoes are they are most certainly not made for walking through deserts. They are filled with sand and your feet hurt. And the dress appears to be a sort of sand magnet, or it would be if such a thing were possible. You wish you'd thought this out a little more carefully.

As a rainbow drinker you are naturally much faster and far more resilient than the average troll. But you are still getting very tired and worn. You've been speed-walking for hours, covering as much distance as possible while the sun is still in the sky. But the fact still remains that you are an incredibly long way away from Gamzee's hive and at this rate it could take you weeks to get there. You need a plan. You really wish you had Tavros' ability right now. A steed of some sort is exactly what you could do with...

You also really wish your Sylph of Space powers worked in the same way Jade's did. Something like that would be _really_ useful right now. Not that you seem to have retained any of your abilities though. Vriska had managed to get her Thief of Light powers back, but she'd been God Tier level in the main timeline. How had she said she'd got hers back? Something about... sleeping? She told you in passing once but you hadn't paid much attention.

You are sort of regretting it now.

Nothing to do but keep walking, you guess... At least until you remember. Or come across a troll who can get you there faster.

Why does you hive have to be in the middle of a desert there is literally nothing for miles except sand.


	28. > Eridan: Drift and Dream.

> Eridan: Drift and dream.

A thousand dancing shadows... the starkness of the black and bright glittering white... no color but the bright violet streaks of your own cold blood.

Let it flow, flow and color in the empty blank spaces... a child's picture book, a child with one color... Silvery reflective hues, oily scum on the obsidian ocean surface, falling like the rain that... never falls here...

Black and white burned into your corneas... shadows of wings and claws and falling feathers... paint the world with non-existent hues... the rainbow liquid life splattered on your own hands...

_**...thelordofangelshecomeshecomeswehearthescreaming...** _

A thousand deafening whispers gnawing at your mind, burrowing right into the core of your being, setting up home right beside your sanity, claws digging deep, so deep, like unmovable anchors pulling you down. You feel them there, umoving and unceasing.

**_...weusherintheendhecomeshecomeshecomesandyouwilljoinhim..._ **

It's useless trying to block it out, but you still try. Running through the endless monochrome maze, filling your head with the echoes of your footsteps, your own gasps for breath, the beating of a frenzied heart.

_**...fillthisworldwithathousandshadesofblood...** _

Blocking it out is impossible... destroying the source is not. Beams of energy shattering the sky, drowning the noise with the splattering of blood and the sound of monstrous screams. You do it not out of revelry, but out of necessity.

You  _need_ to  _live_.

_**...givesyourhopetousweareyourhopeyouareourprince...** _

...It's so lonely here. Just you, on your own, because the others won't come near, won't dare to come near. It isn't your fault they're cowards. But you still feel lonely...

_**...theirhopeisyourstotakejoinhimwhenhecomesslaughteryourworthlessfellowsyouareroyaltyyouareourprince ...** _

Destroying them is pointless. They are inside you, the whispering voices sounding forever in your head, deafeningly, drowning out your own conscience. You can hear their whispers in your mind, whenever you stop running, stop killing, stop trying to dodge your own destiny.

You are so tired...

**_...hewillmakeyougreatthedarkangelourlordjoinhimwhenhecomesdestorytheirhopeeverythingshallbeyours..._ **

So tired... It would be so easy... just to stop fighting... and let your mind become their chapel... but...

_...but..._

A semblance of reason re-enters your confused, scared, floundering mind. You latch onto it as if it were life itself. For you, maybe it is.

_...but this was sweeps ago..._

You are confused. So confused, and the darkness seems so inviting. It doesn't hurt so much, the whispers aren't so loud... like a warm ocean, fathoms deep... achingly familiar and wonderfully homely and containing no pain... no fear... no worries or cares...

The darkness swallows you whole.

And your _heart_

 

_stops_

 

_beating._

> Kanaya: Recall past conversation with Eridan.

CA: wwhats it like anywway  
CA: bein a drinker i mean  
GA: Not That Different To Being A Normal Troll Actually  
GA: I Have Always Had What Could Be Called Rainbow Drinker Characteristics Even Long Before My Transformation  
GA: I Can Even Eat Normal Food Most Of The Time  
GA: Of Course Dealing With The Undead Has Become A Lot Easier And I Don’t Believe The Spores Could Have Any Effect On Me At All Anymore  
CA: wwell thats one thin to be grateful for  
GA: I Have Discovered Though That My More  
GA: Violent Tendencies  
GA: Have Increased Somewhat  
CA: ah  
GA: Feeding Can Be A Bit Of A Problem Too  
GA: There Is Literally No One Out Here But Me And I Have To Hunt Animals In Order To Sustain Myself  
CA: wwhat  
GA: Luckily I Do Not Require Blood Very Often  
CA: kan this wwont do  
CA: you aint supposed to hunt at least not like that  
CA: youre supposed to lure in unwwary troll with your amazin drinker charm  
CA: seduce them  
CA: be romantic you knoww  
GA: Hard To Be Romantic On My Own  
GA: I Would Feel So Guilty Too  
GA: A Poor Weary Traveller Having Made It Through The Desert Finds The Only Hive For Miles And Finally Thinks That they Are Saved  
GA: And Then Gets Bitten  
CA: no kan you missed bits out  
CA: lemme think  
GA: Eridan What  
CA: the gracious an beautiful troll wwho greets them at the door invvites the travveler inside  
CA: rendered speechless by this act of kindness as wwell as the radiance a the ladytroll the travveler enters in awwe  
GA: Eridan Please  
CA: a candlelit dinner an a nice cool bath later the weary travveler is ready to sleep until the moons rise once more  
CA: an so they do  
CA: until the stroke a midday  
CA: the most glorious glowin apparition appears at the foot a the cupe an then slips inside  
CA: the wweary troll wwho is noww not so wweary is too spellbound to protest or evven wwant to  
CA: the rest is m rated  
GA: Damn You This Shouldnt Be Making Me Laugh  
CA: i try  
GA: Alright I Will Give It A Go Should Such A Scenario Occur  
GA: I Doubt That It Will Though  
CA: id offer you some a mine if wwe wwas anywwhere near each other  
CA: it sucks kan  
CA: bein on the other side a the planet  
GA: I Could Maybe Come Visit At Some Point  
CA: maybe  
CA: youd have to go like ovver a hundred miles to reach the sea though  
CA: an then find my little bit a it  
CA: goddammit i hate long distance shit  
GA: I Dont Suppose You Could Make It Over Here  
CA: sea dwwellers plus deserts dont exactly equate to somethin good an healthy kan  
GA: No I Shouldnt Imagine So  
CA: i wwant to see you though  
CA: before one a us dies  
GA: Yes Well  
GA: There Will Be Plenty Of Time For That  
GA: Lets Not Think About It  
CA: good idea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to the second part this fic is now one chapter longer than it was originally.
> 
> I will probably end up messing things up hugely.


	29. > Gamzee: Get the others in here. Pronto.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no shits to give this chapter.

> Gamzee: Get the others in here. Pronto.

Oh fucking shit motherfuck goddammit holy hell dear sweet motherfucking messiahs fuck fuck fuck fuck...

'Feferi!' you yell, as loud as you can, 'Sollux! Fuck, I think he's going!' Feet thunder from upstairs, but it still takes them such an agonizingly long time to get back to the fucking recreationblock. Stupid fucking hive is way too fucking big!

Feferi enters first, moving in a blur of black hair and a few splashes of colour, pushing passed you, falling to her knees beside the couch and clutching Eridan's hand in both of her own. Sollux enters at a slower pace, feeling along the wall, but you can still see the worry and fear displayed plainly on his face.

'What do you mean?' he demands, head swiveling from you to Eridan and back again. You don't need to give a reply. Eridan's whole body convulses as a horrible wet rattle sounds from his throat, bright violet blood slipping down the sides of his mouth. His skin is ashen grey, unnaturally so, and his eyes are rolled up into the back of his head.

Feferi is practically having a panic attack, pale fuchsia tears streaming down her cheeks as she gasps and sobs and calls his name over and over. Sollux is cursing and kicking things and doesn't seem to have any idea what to do with himself. Or any idea how to help.

You aren't doing much better. What the fuck do you do?

In the end, the only thing that makes sense at that moment: run into the nutritionblock, grab your husktop and contact Karkat.

\-- terminallyCapricious [TC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] \--

TC: KARKAT   
TC: FUCK IT KARKAT ANSWER  
CG: CALM YOUR GLOBES  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK IS IT?  
TC: HE'S FUCKING DYING KARKAT  
TC: HE'S FUCKING DYING AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK TO DO

The pause is agonizingly long. Seconds tick by and each one is filled with nothing but the sounds of a troll choking on their own blood and the anguished wails of someone feeling a section of their soul being ripped away.

CG: THE LIFEY THING

The answer is infuriatingly obscure. What 'lifey thing'? You stare incredulously at the screen, eyes skidding over the grey text that pops up almost too fast to keep up with.

CG: MAKE FEFERI DO THE LIFEY THING   
CG: SHE'S DONE IT BEFORE  
CG: I WATCHED HER  
CG: THE GUY WAS DEAD   
CG: BUT SHE BROUGHT HIM BACK TO LIFE   
CG: ***IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE HIM YOU SHITSPONGE***

Without even thinking about it you’re leaning into the block, claws digging into the door frame, and shouting at the top of your lungs.

'DO THE LIFEY THING!' Feferi doesn't look up. She doesn't even seem to hear you. 'FEFERI!' you roar, 'DO. THE. LIFEY THING!' You've gained her attention, but she looks scared and confused and you just want to scream with frustration and maybe-

- _hit her, scratch her, make that blood flow in rivers-_

 _-_ just get her out of the useless state she's in.

'How?' she gasps beseechingly, like she wants to for all her heart but can't and it's infuriating. 'How do I do it?' She really wants to save him. It's written on her face, singing from her body, but she isn't doing anything.

'JUST DO THE LIFEY THING!'

> Feferi: Do the Lifey Thing.

But you can't! The memories of your doomed alternate self, the one who achieved God Tier, are like half-forgotten dreams. There, but almost completely out of reach. You vaguely remember a Dersite male, a hole through his stomach and a still, dead heart. You remember placing your hands on him, body cold and lifeless, tendrils of fuchsia light snaking up from both off your bodies. And then the hole is gone and he breaths. Other times, too, that you don't remember so clearly, you brought your dead friends back to life (not that it did any good in the end).

But you have no idea how you did it!

Eridan jerks once, a shudder running through his whole body, and in desperation you place both hands on his chest, digging deep into your soul for the instinctive knowledge and foreign power that you have used once before but don't remember how to.

It is also then that his body stills and his heart stops beating.

> DO THE LIFEY THING! DO THE LIFEY THING! DO THE LIFEY THING!

You somehow do The Lifey Thing.

Somehow. You have no idea how it works. One moment you have your hands on the body of a friend. The next, your skin is glowing with fuchsia light that slips from your skin like glowing liquid, like your own tears and blood, like life is flowing from your hands and onto his cooling skin.

The light intensifies and you feel as if you're reaching out, feeling into the darkness as you will him to come back, taking his soul is your hands and pulling it back to his body, back to this world.

Back to you.

The deep, rasping breath he takes is the sweetest sound you have ever heard. He gives a small cough, wiping blood from his mouth with the back of his hand. Then his eyes flutter open and for the first time in sweeps he looks at you, really looks at you, and your vision starts to blur again because you are so, so happy.

Doing The Lifey Thing (it's a great name, it really is) has left you feeling rather light-headed and breathless and all you can do is stare at him as he pushes himself up, barely wincing at the movement, and looks around himself in confusion.

'What happened?' he asks, voice sounding so wonderfully strong and healthy, if completely bemused. No one says anything in reply and he scowls in annoyance. You don't know whether its because you're so glad he's alright or because doing The Lifey Thing has addled your mind slightly or whether its something else entirely, but it makes him look so damn cute that all you want to do is cuddle him.

Then he looks at your and his gaze instantly softens. His glasses are off and the violet pigment has already begun to tinge his irises and it looks utterly amazing.

'Are you alright?' he asks, voice so achingly gentle. And then you decide not to hold back anymore, and hug him.

He makes a strangled sound of surprise as your arms wrap around his neck and you can tell that for him this is one of the most awkward things he has ever experienced but you're too busy laughing and crying and hugging to care.

And as his arms slowly wrap around your waist and his chest vibrates with a deep, happy laugh you know that nothing could make this moment more perfect.

> Gamzee: Give your moirail the good news.

TC: it worked bro!  
TC: honk honk honk! :oD  
TC: eribro's alive and fefsis is all up and smiling like it's fucking Twelfth Perigee come early!  
TC: that were a miracle man.  
CG: THANK *FUCK*.  
CG: I CAN SEE YOUR HIVE FROM HERE WE'LL BE THERE SOON  
CG: GIVE ERIDAN A NICE BIG PUNCH FROM ME AND TEREZI FOR SCARING US SO FUCKING BADLY. EXCEPT DON'T ACTUALLY BECAUSE YOU'D PROBABLY KILL HIM BUT YOU GET THE IDEA.  
CG: THEN TELL HIM THAT I'M FUCKING GLAD HE'S STILL ALIVE.  
TC: sure thing bro :oD  
CG: WHATEVER.   
CG: I AM GOING TO TELL KANAYA THAT THE SHITSTORM IS OVER, SO YOU LOT HAD *BETTER* STAY THE FUCK ALIVE UNTIL I GET THERE.  
CG: AND NEVER USE THAT EMOTICON AGAIN, OR SO HELP ME.

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling terminallyCapricious [TC] \--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Fin fact: I wrote this when I was still planning on have Eridan/Feferi flushed and never changed it.)
> 
> Homestuck will be over before this fic is, God knows if I'll be able to continue it. I've been swinging all over the place with my feelings towards this thing. It might be that I go on hiatus while shit goes down in canon and write some more AU-ish AU stuff, but after all I've written for this fic, I HOPE to keep it going til the end.


	30. > Terezi: Observe proceedings with amusement.

> Terezi: Observe proceedings with amusement.

After walking for most of the day, you and Karkles have finally arrived at Gamzee's hive. Both of your were tired, but Karkat looked as if he was about to pass out and honestly, seeing him collapse out of exhaustion again isn’t on your to-do list, to put it lightly. Eridan's huge death-scare hadn't helped matters. You had been carefully preparing yourself for a barrage of shouting and swearing from him as soon as you arrived at Gamzee's, but surprisingly, it never came.

And now you are witnessing the miracle that is moirallegiance.

As soon as Gamzee had opened the door, as soon as Karkat had set eyes on him, all of the tension had drained from his body. And as Gamzee gently steers him inside, he looks truly relaxed for the first time in ages.

You are a tad miffed that it can be done so easily, actually.

You follow him in just as Gamzee pushes Karkat's backpack from his weary shoulders and dumps it on the floor, not giving it a second glance. He just looks down at Karkat with a serene smile, eyes half-closed, pretty much the same as when he'd been high on sopor. But he smells so much healthier. Karkat isn't like any sort of drug – what he is instead, you aren't sure, but he's so much better than any chemical ever could be.

'You look like you should be getting your motherfucking nap on, bro,' he says, and although Karkat mutters something rude in reply, the effort to shake off Gamzee's hand is half-hearted at most and he makes no further objection to Gamzee leading him upstairs, and probably into a pile of some sort. You don't think you'll be seeing them for a while.

So you wander into the recreationblock, which is where the others are, and sink into a large armchair, content you to listen into conversations for a while and maybe doze a bit. Your are dead tired, but a little too interested to actually sleep.

'...so you definitely don't remember anything?' Sollux is asking Eridan suspiciously. 'Nothing at all?'

'No...' Eridan replies warily. 'Did anythin' happen that I should take note of?' Then, with mounting trepidation, 'oh, fuck, what did I say? I said somethin' really embarrassin' or degradin' didn't I? Oh, fuck. Fuck...' Feferi gives a light little giggle and you offer a small cackle of your own.

'Hey TZ,' says Sollux. He sounds almost cheerful, which is saying something. In fact the whole room smells pretty cheerful. Feferi is exuding it in waves and even Eridan smells quite happy, even if it is in a slightly confused and wary sort of way. You doubt that anyone's really explained anything to him yet.

Well, you won't be the one who does. Besides, you don't really know yourself.

'It's good to see you again, Terezi!' Feferi chirrups, smiling brightly. You can smell the burnt-toast shadows beneath her eyes and know she must be exhausted, but you’re guessing she feels too happy and excited to sleep. And although you yourself are dead tired, you have way too many questions and queries to rest straight away.

'What happened exactly anyway?' you ask. 'Karkat's said hardly anything! Just that it was really important that we got here. And then later that Eridan was dying.' You turn your head towards the sea-troll. The direction in which your nose points doesn't enhance scents much, but it does help. 'Were you?' you ask.

'Pretty much, yeah,' he says, rather uncomfortably. You give him one of your rarer smiles, the sort that doesn't involve all of your teeth showing, and he seems to relax a bit. But only a bit. It's weird. There's something decidedly off about his smell which you can't quite place...

But it's probably just the whole death-scare thing. Anyone would be a bit off after that.

Sollux gets up, rolling his shoulders with loud popping sounds. 'I'm going to sleep,' he grumbles. 'If there even is a place where I can sleep.'

'Why don't we just all sleep in here?' Feferi suggests. 'Besides, I don't think there are any conches anywhere else.'

'Well, this pillow still has my blood on it,' Eridan mutters, chucking said offending fluff-filled article onto the floor with an air of disgust. 'And where're my scarf an’ cape?'

'Why?' Sollux asks scathingly. 'You really sleep with them on?'

'They're mental armour,' Eridan replies defensibly. 'And considerin' the fact that I just died, not for the first time I might add, I think I have a right to need them!'

'You didn't die,' Sollux scoffs.

'I should think I'd know if my heart stopped beatin'!'

'Oh, stop it, boat of you!' Feferi snaps, although you can tell she's trying not to laugh. 'Settle down this instant or I'm kicking you both out! And I mean that literally!'

'Yes, your majesty,' says Eridan, voice slightly patronizing but mostly amused. Sollux gives a moody half-shrug and collapses backwards into another armchair, with perfect aim. If he was showing off it went completely unnoticed, however. Feferi and Eridan are carefully curling up on the couch, using up cushions as pillows and resting their heads on the low, squashy armrests. You think you hear Sollux give a little huff of annoyance but you don't give it much attention because your eyelids have already slipped down and you're already falling asleep.

Under any other circumstances, sleeping sitting upright, and especially sleeping sitting upright dry, would give you little to no rest. But traveling all day has worn you out, and you're pretty certain that there won't be any daymares today.

> Gamzee: Get your motherfucking nap on.

You are settled comfortably into your horn pile, pale-bro's head resting on your chest, arms snaking around your back to grasp your holders from behind. He's fast asleep, breathing deep and even. You yourself are rhythmically running your hands up and down his back, content and sleepy and dozily fascinated by Karkat's wonderful little horns. Nubby and cute. And easier to live with, too, probably. Your hive has pretty high ceilings but the tips of your horns still brush the tops of the door frames. You hope you don't get much taller... it's awkward enough as it is...

The sleeping troll mutters something in his sleep, eyebrows furrowing, and you automatically switch from rubbing his back to gently stroking his hair with one hand, while wrapping your other arm firmly around him.

He shifts slightly, arms briefly tightening around you before he relaxes again, and you smile. He's so tired. So are you, for that matter, and now that Eri-bro is alright, not hurt and definitely not dying, you can finally get some good motherfucking shut eye.

Things ain't over yet. In fact, they've barely even started. You know this for sure and a part of you is terrified of what the next few nights will bring.

But with your moirail in your arms, it is easy to simply close your eyes and sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel it's justifiable to write Gamzee like this so long as he's with Karkat.


	31. > Tavros: Wake up.

> Tavros: Wake up.

You yawn, and slowly open your eyes. The sun has set and it's about time to get up really. The hard floor has left you stiff and you stretch as you sit up, joints popping. Your neck is a bit stiff (courtesy of your horns) but you had a good sleep so you're ok otherwise.

You turn to Vriska, who is sitting beside you, and open your mouth to tell her that you're ready to go now because you've slept for long enough and even though you're a bit stiff travelling should be easier now... before you realize that her eyes are closed and she is dozing peacefully while sitting propped against the wall.

You're unsure whether to wake her or not. You know you need to get going as soon as possible... but she looks so tired and you know she can't have recovered from her injuries yet. She really does need rest... so you decide not to disturb her.

Suddenly her husktop gives a beep and you jump, scrabbling around to look at the screen. She's left it on and open, and a wall of purple text has filled the screen. You know you shouldn't look. It's probably very private. It might even be about quadrants!

...But it's not a handle or quirk you recognize, and you have so many questions and just reading the log can't hurt, right?

\-- heraldingHoras [HH] began trolling agentGuile [AG] \--

HH: 01 53RK3T  
HH: C0M3 1N 53RKET  
HH: SERKET!!!  
HH: OH MY GOD!  
HH: YOU 4R3 4N 1D1OT, 53RK3T. 4 HUGE FUCKIN6 1D1OT  
HH: 1 HOP3 YOU R34L1Z3 WH4T YOU’V3 DON3, YOU S3LF1SH, B1TCH1NG FREAK  
HH: YOU KN3W TH4T YOU COULD H4V3 RU1N3D 3V3RYTHING, AND NOW YOU FUCKING HAVE  
HH: I HATE YOU!  
HH: FUCK YOU!  
HH: 4ND FUCK M3 F0R tH1NK1NG I C0ULD R3LY 0N Y0U!

Your hands hover over the keyboard. You know you shouldn't but this guy is saying really mean things about your friend.

When you start to type, for some reason the letters come up in Nepeta's shade of olive green. She's using a different troll handle too although the initials are the same...

AG: yOU SHOULD, sTOP SAYING THOSE THINGS!  
HH: WHAT THE FUCK  
HH: Y0U 4R3N'T 53RK37  
HH: 0H W417 Y0U MU57 83 7H47 8R0N23 8L00D 5H3 M3N710N3D  
AG: uHH,  
HH: D0 U5 4 F4V0UR 4ND W4K3 HER UP!  
AG: nO  
AG: vRISKA IS VERY TIRED  
AG: i AM lETTING, hER SLEEP, bECAUSE, sHE REALLY NEEDS IT,  
HH: L00K, DIP5HI7, 7HI5 I5 1MP0R74NT  
AG: sO IS HER sLEEPING, aSSHOLE!  
HH: 7H3N FUCK TH3 807H 0F Y0U  
HH: 1 W0ULD 8L0W UP TH3 D4MN HUSK70P 1N Y0UR F4C3 1F TH4T W0ULDN'7 83 REALLY 5TUP1DLY C0UN73R-PR0DUCT1VE  
HH: 1 W0ULD 61V3 MY 1 REM41N1N6 4RM F0R 7H1N6S T0 83 M0R3 S1MPL3!  
AG: oH, uM, i'M SORRY ABOUT THAT  
AG: yOUR ARM, i MEAN  
HH: WHATEVER  
AG: i, uH, hAVE A FRIEND WHO DOES, pROSTHETICS IF YOU'RE, iNTERESTED  
HH: I SAID 5HU7 UP  
HH: 1'M 5CR3W3D 31TH3R FUCK1NG W4Y. W3’R3 4LL SCR3W3D NOW THANK5 TO H3R  
HH: 4ND 50 AR3 Y0U!  
HH: CRIPPLE  
AG: tHAT'S NOT, vERY NICE  
AG: yOU ARE CLEARL, a TERRIBLE PERSON, aND i DON'T WANT TO BE TALKING TO YOU  
HH: NI3TH3R 15 7HI5 FUCK1NG Pl4NE7  
HH: 637 US3D 70 1T, W166L3R  
AG: yOU ARE REALLY REALLY RUDE!  
HH: W3LL 1F Y0U'R3 N07 GO1N6 T0 W4K3 53RKET I'LL JU57 LEAVE  
HH: WH47 4 C0L05S4L W45T3 0F TIME 7HI5 WAS  
HH: 7ELL 53RK3T T0 60 PA1L H3R53LF!  
AG: eRM,,,

\-- heraldingHoras [HH] ceased trolling agentGuile [AG] \--

You are left staring blankly the husktop. That troll's quirk is one of the hardest to decipher you have ever encountered! Terezi's is bad enough and she only uses three numbers! And what on Alternia was that pattern meant to be??

You carefully move away from the husktop, hoping that it hasn't moved a millimeter from where it had been before. There's no need to Vriska to know... in fact you might delete the log... because you really shouldn't've done that and she gets really scary when she's angry and—

Her eyes are open.

'Who was it?' she asks, face and voice impassive.

'Uh, their handle was... heraldingHoras...?' you reply, having to glance quickly at the screen. An expression you can’t quite find the name of flickers briefly across her face, and for a moment you think she might be angry, but then it’s gone. Vriska just smirks and sits up properly. Apparently you haven't done anything too bad...

'That jerk,' she says lightly, picking up the husktop and getting to her feet, stretching slightly. 'They say he was quite nice before he lost his arm,' she adds. 'Don't take anything he said personally. He's like that to everyone.' She sinks down into the four wheeled device, still looking really tired.

'I can, um, push if you want,' you offer, making an odd sort of pushing gesture with your hands which you don't think she sees. Vriska is silent for a moment, and you expect her to refuse, to say that she doesn't need anyone's help, because that's usually what she says when you offer.

But instead she says, 'yeah, actually. That'd be good.' She doesn't look at you, and you can only guess that she must be really, really tired.

You put your backpack on again and hang the other two on the back of the four wheeled device. Vriska doesn't complain so you guess it's ok. Then you start pushing, out of the courtyard, back the way you came. You're not sure where you're heading next but this seems like a good place to start. Just another thing Vriska hasn't told you yet...

'We're actually heading towards Gamzee's place now,' she says. 'Order from our dear leader. You know the way, right?'

'Uh, yeah,' you reply. You and Gamzee actually live pretty close, just a few miles apart. You know how to get there just by following the coastline.

'Good,' Vriska replies, tapping something into her husktop. You hope she's opening the map again.

'Talk to me,' she says abruptly. 'I need to stay awake. Ask me a question or something.'

'Er...' You're not good at saying anything when you're put on the spot like this. 'Who is, um, heraldingHoras really? Are you allowed to say?'

'He's someone I'm working with,' Vriska replies. 'And he's a jerk. Seriously, the biggest jerk I've ever met and that's saying something. He's, like, worse than Captor.’

'But I thought, um, purples and blues got on quite well?' Vriska gives a snort, which quickly turns into a laugh that has her doubled over where she sits, thumping her things with her fists. You stare at her, wondering what's so funny and if she’s alright.

'Oh, God, I forgot you didn't know!' she chokes out. Then she takes a deep breath and manages to calm down a little. 'We've essentially swapped all our blood colours,' she explains. 'That's why 'agentGuile' is olive. I hate that handle, by the way. But Horas is really a yellow... though he calls himself a 'gold', for some reason.'

'He called me a bronze,' you say. Vriska nods.

'Yeah, he always tries to glamorize the lowbloods. I'm just 'cerulean'.'

'And, um, why do you swap?' you inquire, very politely. You have the feeling that swapping colors is illegal, though you'd have to check with Terez to know for sure. 'If you don't mind,' you add hastily. Vriska does the eye-roll thing, again, as if the answer should be obvious when there’s no way you could know.

‘Dumbass,' she says scathingly, 'it's to make it look as if we have stronger support than we really do. Have more highbloods involved. The reason usually given, though, is just so that we can hide ourselves better. At least throw people off the trail a bit. I've only met one genuine highblood involved...' She trails off, seeming to lapse into thought. The silence starts to feel awkward, and she’ll be annoyed at you in you let her sleep, so you need to think up another distraction of some kind...

As it turns out, you don't have to. You have just reached the exit when suddenly, slipping from the darkness like a shadow, another troll steps out to bar your path.

Vriska snaps her husktop closed, instantly tense. You pull the four wheeled device to an abrupt halt, freezing where you stand. Alarms bells are ringing in your head. Whoever this is, they are not friendly. You can see it in the way they stand, in their narrowed eyes, and in the thick, heavy mace club they're clutching in their hand.

'Apologies,' they say. Their voice is a low, soft drawl, and sounds male. But the gentleness makes hearing it worse. Because you know that whatever comes next will chill you to the bone.

And it does.

'You have to die.'

Vriska gets up, slowly, fists clenched around her dice. Something about her movement is almost more frightening than the other troll's voice. She is like a spider eyeing a particularly large and juicy fly as she steadily creeps towards it over her web.

'Bring it, bitch,' she snarls, and you can tell from her voice that she's smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am aware that HH's quirk changes slightly it is intentional  
> it is also killer and you won't be seeing much of it
> 
> i called it a 'mace club' because 'mace' on its own would have given the wrong impression


	32. > Feferi: Sit around and socialize.

> Feferi: Sit around and socialize.

You are... but mainly because it's really the only thing you can be doing at the moment. And even now, it's hard.

Everyone's a bit grumpy because nobody's had enough sleep recently, Sollux and Karkat especially. Gamzee's making some sort of meal in the kitchen – it's not really the right time for anything except maybe tea but you all need to eat – 'because he's the host' and also because Karkat made him. He's left the television on, although no one's really watching it. Eridan is sort of pretending to but his eyelids keeping slipping closed and he's really just dozing, slumped back into a corner of the couch, cloak cocooned around him. His scarf had been impossible to save. Its brief use as a temporary dressing had completely ruined it, and Karkat had burned it at the first opportunity. The cape, however, had turned out ok after a soak and a scrub in cold water.

You hadn't healed Eridan completely, as it turns out, although he's certainly a lot better than he was before. You think both injuries will scar, and personally you're just glad his glasses provided enough protection – the strike to his face would have half-blinded him had it met his eye.

But thankfully they are the only injuries. Karkat had obviously suspected otherwise. The first thing had had done when he had finally reappeared from upstairs was march up to him and demand to see his wrists.

'I haven't been cutting,' Eridan had instantly replied.

'Show me your wrists,' Karkat had repeated. Eridan had relented and after inspecting them very carefully indeed, Karkat had stalked off after Gamzee without saying another word. Anyone else would have thought he'd been angry at having been proved wrong. But you all know him well enough to tell he was relieved, if maybe a bit miffed. You think it's sweet, how much he cares.

He came back in a few minutes afterwards and promptly started an argument with Terezi and Sollux. You contribute sometimes, but mostly just listen in. You're still too tired to do anything as strenuous as quarrel, but don't want to mess up your internal clock anymore than it already is by sleeping.

Equius and Nepeta arrive just before the meal is ready. They mingle. Everything is nice and friendly and sociable.

...Or at least, you're telling yourself that. In reality there is an strong underlying tension that cannot be ignored. It has been building steadily and the arrival of Nepeta and Equius hasn't done anything ease it. You think it might simply be the blood diversity. Or at least, you hope it is. It's natural for trolls to get edgy amongst those of castes higher or very close to themselves. And there would always be tension between Equius and Gamzee. And probably Sollux and Eridan too...

You're not exactly looking forward to everyone else arriving. Having the full spectrum in one building... well, last time you all tried it people ended up dying. And at the moment, things might even be worse. You've all grown, and are all growing, and as eyes turn hormones and, well...

Your cheeks flush with fuchsia, and you duck your head so that your hair conceals your face. It's nothing to be embarrassed about really, but...

... _Pheromones_ are going to be very... active...

It really has been too long since you all met up. You can't speak for everyone but you know that there are still a lot of feelings and grudges left unresolved since the game. Things that should have been gone over and talked through a long time ago, old wounds never properly treated, but have instead just been left to fade... or fester.

You are anxious, yes. Very much so. But you also feel resigned to it. It has to happen, sooner or later, and things will just get worse if it's left too long.

But that doesn't mean it's going to be fun.

> Karkat: Sulk.

You would prefer not to call it that. Contemplating, you'd like better, or brooding, which would be equally adequate.

But yeah, you are sulking. You are sitting at the eating platform, glowering into your stew (which is pretty good, actually), and sulking.

Terezi has been being an absolute nightmare, and Sollux hasn't been helping at all. Gamzee was too busy cooking to be of any help, and you don't know how much he could've done anyway. Terezi's tactics were too subtle to easily see, and she wasn't actually hurting you... Damn the teal and her mind games!

She got you saying and then trying to justify a lot of things you would really have preferred not to talk about and fuck was it humiliating.

So now you are sulking and also rather bored, which isn't a good combo. You feel as if everyone is ignoring you on purpose, which they probably aren't, but still...

Everyone else is talking to someone about something, leaving you to moodily eat your meal in silence. Gamzee's presence beside you doesn't help much when he's busy talking with Sollux. Equius is on your other side but he's immersed in a conversation with his own moirail and it's not like you ever spoke much anyway. So here you are, sandwiched between two people intently looking away from you, sulking over your position. Fan-fucking-tastic.

Eridan catches your eyes from across the platform and opens his mouth to say something, before seeming to change his mind and looking back down at his bowl. He hasn't eaten much of his stew, you note, which you think is a bit weird considering he's been unconscious for over twelve hours and hasn't eaten anything for even longer. And yes, you are worried – you're worried about everyone. Too much shit has happened recently to be considered normal for even your fucked-up lives.

You consider making Eridan talk to you, if just for something to do... but then Feferi starts talking to him or fussing over him or something along those lines and he's too sufficiently distracted to consider so much as looking at you again.

After about an hour, in which you angrily devour more stew than you think you should physically be able to and show no signs of stopping, you receive a message from Aradia that she's passed Terezi's hive and should be here sometime later this night. Which you guess is good news, but it does mean yet another troll to keep an eye on...

You're meant to be a leader, but you feel more like a lusus. The sooner this is over with, the better, in your opinion.

But for now you'll just have to deal with too many teenage trolls in one hive for it to be safe, really awkward feelings from everyone involved including you, and having to deal with what you actually all came here for...

...which in all of the confusion you're starting to forget...

_...What in the name of the Mother Grub's sweet stinking birth canal made you think that this was a good idea?_


	33. > Meanwhile...

> Meanwhile...

The cold, sharp edges of your dice bite comfortingly into your palm, keeping you nicely grounded as your rise from your seat and step forward to meet your opponent. It doesn't matter that you're almost too tired to think. The pain from your wounds is irrelevant. The fact that this troll is both physically stronger _and_ a shade higher than you means nothing.

Because Tavros is standing behind you and you can practically feel his fear and this isn't the sort of fight you have to win just for yourself. Although that is part of the reason.

You knew it would be dangerous getting him involved. But you got him involved anyway, because you thought you'd be able to handle it. And even if you probably weren't trespassing on an indigo's territory, well, you've just been taught speaking blatant blasphemy.

You got him into this. So you're going to get him out. It's as simple as that.

You steal the stupid stuck-up blueblood's luck, watching his screwed up little eyes widen in surprise as the light dances from your own seven pupils, streaking like blue lightning and harvesting what he has.

_(Your ability has been acting strange recently)_   
_(You're not sure that was enough anyway)  
(But why should that stop you from doing what you do?)_

Then you roll.

> Vriska: _STRIIIIIIIIFE!!!!!!!!_

The roll presents you with a royal cerulean scimitar, not dissimilar from the one that usually comes with Ancestral Awakening. Aw yeah!

Your opponent is surprised, and the momentary distraction is all you need. You leap forward, darting in with your blade, and the mace he holds is too heavy and slow to block your strike completely. You take a nice little slice out of his shoulder and the sight of leaking blood does nothing to quell your excitement.

It has been _way too long_ since you last did something like this!

He swings his weapon, the ridiculous hulk of iron, and you swiftly dodge out of the way, grinning, and taking the opportunity to nick his cheek with the very tip of your blade, deep enough to scar. He'll never forget you, now, now that he'll always have a reminder! You're toying with him and you love it and he is getting so, so mad which is hilarious.

So maybe that's why it goes wrong.

Or maybe it's because you choose the moment directly after deeply humiliating him to glance at Tavros out of pride, taking your eyes off you opponent entirely.

Or maybe it's because your side injury chooses that moment to feel as if lightning is searing through your flesh, temporarily blocking out every coherent thought other than _fuck, ow_.

Or perhaps it's a mixture of all three.

You don't know, and doubt that you ever will. All you will ever remember is a blur of metallic grey at the corner of your vision, followed by a strike to your ribs that leaves you completely breathless. You don't even feel the second strike.

A ringing sound that fills your mind as it shatters through your skull

and thousands of stars shooting across the night sky as the world around you tips and spins long after you have stopped falling.

...Fuck.

The indigo towers above you, mace raised... and for some reason all you can really think about is how much you've managed to fuck up this time.

You accept your impending death with an absurd amount of ease. It could, you guess, just be a result of that horrific blow to the head. Or maybe it's because you don't really believe that you'll die and that you’re actually in denial about everything. Or perhaps it's just because you've already died so many times it no longer feels like such a big deal. You'll just wander through dream bubbles for a while until somebody pulls some shit and gets you resurrected...

Except you know that won't happen. And you don't want to die.

Everything is so insanely fucked up it makes a double-mobius reach-around under Not Funny and comes back up as Absolutely Fucking Hilarious.

You'd laugh, if you weren't currently choking on your own breath. Blows to the head and ribcage are still firmly classified as Not Fun. Fuck. Something is definitely broken. Probably several somethings, judging by the pain. Ow. And now you don't seem to have enough control to move, even to save your own life.

All eight of your pupils are unfocused. In the incredibly slight chance that you survive this, your head will probably kill you. Even though you're still reeling from the shock and the pain has barely even hit at all, you can tell that the headache is going to be a bitch. A big bitch. An even bigger bitch than the universe and that's saying something.

The mace rises above you in slow motion and you have just enough time to think, well, this is it, before it swings down towards you and

and

and suddenly your head is filled with the galloping of hooves and

what

the

fuck.

You don't _think_ you're hallucinating. The rock beneath your head is shuddering in a very realistic sort of way and the mace has stopped coming down now and the indigo is turning and

and

seriously?

You mean, _seriously?_

...Apparently so.

Your octuple vision coupled with your very low vantage point doesn't allow you a very good view, but you think you get the gist of it. After lying there for a few seconds, totally stunned, just trying to patch it all together that is.

Tavros on a hoofbeast. Riding a hoofbeast like an actual Cavalreaper, perfectly balanced and clutching his lance – the lance that you used to kill him with oh God – in both hands. You know he's been practicing but you had no idea that he could actually _do_ anything, that his puny lowblood mind and body could achieve that kind of control. The indigo had about a second to react and then, _bam!_  Through the haze of confusion, you feel a little impressed.

You didn't see what happened to them because whatever it was happened completely outside your range of vision, but you can hear the hooves slowing to a trot and then stopping altogether, and now you're being approached by the sound of metal feet against stone.

'V-Vriska?' Tavros says. His eight heads slide in and out of focus, spinning and tipping nauseatingly. But you can see splatters of blue on his face which you don't think can be your own. His hands flutter over your chest, over your head, and you're wondering if it really is as bad as his face makes it out to be. Then he slides his arms under your shoulders and knees and lifts, and the _agony_ that rips through your body is enough to make you _scream_  because you honestly feel as if you're dying again.

With stammered apologies he stumbles over to what you think must be the mangled remains of the four wheeled device, knocked flying by his charge on the hoofbeast. For a while everything is just pain as he presses bits of gauze over your new wounds and haphazardly bandages them down, although you're not sure what it'll do for broken ribs other than maybe keep them still. Your head does seem to be bleeding, though.

Then the hoofbeast canters over and you just about manage to choke out for him to bring the fucking packs before you're being loaded onto the creature's back, kept firmly in place by Tavros' trembling arms and finally leaving the godforsaken place.

You can only guess something serious has happened because you're moving fucking fast.

And that's the last thing you think before you pass out.

??: Have you changed your mind yet?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm trying to take the latest canonical vriska stuff into consideration and it's proving harder than i thought it would be


	34. > Kanaya: Sew the dress, ride the featherbeast.

> Kanaya: Sew the dress, ride the featherbeast.

Hell yes.

Hell, fucking, YES!

This is pretty amazing, you must say. After hours of walking and covering only about ten miles, you finally came upon signs of civilization, including a young olive-blooded troll and his lusus.

Which you promptly hijacked.

...Well, not hijacked specifically, more politely asked to borrow. And it appears that being a rainbowdrinker is at least a little like it is in the novels because the young troll boy went sort of glassy eyed and just nodded mutely. You are letting him come with you, which means that you'll probably have to get off sooner than you'd like for security's sake, but you feel that it would be far too impolite to simply disappear with his lusus. Besides, he knows how to steer it and you do not.

You are absolutely living it up!

The thread is a little hard to handle with the wind rushing by as it is, but you are working steadily on one of your many projects as a way to pass the time. It is a current favorite of yours, and nearly done too. The fabric is a lovely dark green, with lighter strips of jade, and you think you’ll make the lining a similar colour when you get to it. The style is truly ancient and you have no idea what possessed you to start making it, but you like it in its own way. Not the sort of thing you'll ever probably wear, but that doesn't matter. You think you'll embroider your sign onto it somewhere, and you're in the process of hand-stitching a sort of shawl onto the sleeves, using fabric so fine and thin that it's barely visible. You've designed it so that it will hopefully hang gracefully around you when you fold your arms, although you're not completely sure it'll work.

You think you might make something for the troll you're traveling with, too. He's been very nice. You wonder what he'd like... something in olive, most likely. You commissioned something for Nepeta not too long ago so you probably have enough material left some something simple, like a cloak or a jacket... maybe a T-shirt would be enough, with his sign on...

Oh well. It's not as if you haven't got days, perhaps even over a week, to work on this.

You soon put it out of your mind, preferring instead to focus on the steady rush of wind in your ears and the rhythmic dip and pull of the needle between your fingers.

...Until someone starts trolling you. How typical. You wonder who it could be...

> Karkat: Abscond.

You _just can't **do** this anymore!_

Breakfast or lunch or dinner or what the fuck ever is over and everyone is steadily migrating back into the recreationblock, content to while away the hours dozing or talking or watching the picturebox.

Including the people who you want to avoid.

So you very cautiously slither out of the other door, the one that leads from the nutritionblock and to another set of stairs. You've visited Gamzee's hive enough times to know your way around it, and you are aiming to find a nice, secluded block upstairs where you can mess around on your husktop and maybe program something or chat to someone you actually _want_ to talk to.

If Gamzee notices, then he doesn't say anything, which is why you like him and are so glad you have him as a moirail – he (usually) knows when to keep his proteinmuncher shut, and (usually) knows what's best for you. Which is currently burying yourself underneath a pile of blankets or something and taking your rage out on your husktop.

And you are so nearly calmed down by the time you are interrupted. So, so nearly that being disturbed practically hurts you.

'Karkles?' says the quiet voice from the doorway of the block, and you instantly freeze. Because she _would_ come after you, wouldn't she? You want to either punch her, hard, or go fling yourself into Gamzee's arms. You can't quite decide which is more pathetic. At any rate, they'd both mean that she's won.

'Oh my God, don't you ever quit?' you snarl instead, slamming your husktop closed. This'll turn into a fully platonic strife if you're not careful and you don’t you care. You need to let off some steam, after all...

'Calm down!' she says, holding up her palms in a gesture of surrender. You're still very wary, though. Pyrope is nothing if not infamous for her mind games. She comes and sits beside you, and you automatically lean away slightly. You are now nothing if not suspicious. She's not acting normally. No cackling laugh, not sharp-toothed smile... she almost looks awkward. You have the feeling that she'd be avoiding eye-contact if she wasn't already blind and that is just weird.

She sighs deeply and says, 'I was wondering if we could just maybe... I dunno... maybe talk about some things?' She pulls her knees up and hugs them, giving the floor a wry sort of smile, not opening her mouth. 'This is a hundred times more awkward than I thought it would be.'

'What 'things' would these be?' your growl in reply. 'We've been doing enough fucking talking!'

'No,' she says, as if talking to a wiggler. 'I mean talking like civilized trolls!' She gives a sort of huff, glowering at the floor. 'I won't be trying to pick at your brain, is what I mean.' You give her a look. It's pointless but you do it anyway.

'Yeah, right,' you mutter. 'Picking at my thinkpan is all you ever do!'

'I just want to know, ok?' she snaps suddenly. 'I want to know if you're black or red or anything! I want to know if maybe your feelings go further than self-hatred and rage! I want to know if maybe there could ever possibly be an us! Not just a 'you' and a 'me'! And I want to know if you'll grow the fuck up and tell me about it!' She sounds almost hysterical and for a few seconds all you can do is stare, trying to process what she said, trying to work out if there really is anything to process and you had always known, somehow, but had selfishly pushed it aside like the bastard you are.

'Terezi... I...' You don't know what to say. This is too sudden. And now she looks as if she's about to cry and her lip is fucking wobbling and she's doing that hunched-over thing where she hugs herself as if she's trying to stop herself from falling apart and you've only ever seen her do it once before, right after she'd killed Vriska.

You feel like such a moron. Of course she's upset.

'You know what?' she says, getting up. 'This was a really dumb idea! Forget it ever happened!' She makes a start towards the door, and you can see your chance, whatever chance it's for, slipping away way too fast and you have to do something.

You stand up. 'Terezi—' You don't know what to say. You grab her arm. She swivels to face you and oh God there are tears in her eyes and you feel like such a moron even though it's as much her fault as it is yours... probably...

‘What?!’’ she screams. Her teeth look very sharp.

‘I thought you liked Dave!’ you blurt, without pausing to think about it at all. You are 100% sure that the look she gives you would’ve been fatal if she still had eyes. So the harsh slap to the cheek isn’t all that surprising.

‘Dave is gone,’ she says levelly, after a brief pause in which your cheek stings and your mouth gets even dryer. You swallow. ‘Dave has been gone for sweeps.’

‘...So?’ you say eventually. You can tell that she’s trying to school her expression and you fight back against the memories about that supposed ‘cool kid’ and every thought about those dumb humans that threatens to wriggle into your mind. You focus on the here and the now. You focus on Terezi.

‘Do you have feelings for me?’ she asks bluntly. It takes you a moment to fully register what she’s said and when you do, you feel your cheeks start to heat up.

God

dammit!

‘That’s not an answer.’ Two can play at this game.

‘Do you have feelings for me?’ she repeats, and just like that you know she’s won. You war without yourself for a good five or so seconds, trying not to look at her and failing, but not loosening your grip on her hand the slightest.

Terezi arches an eyebrow and that’s it. So much for not screwing with your head.

‘YES!’ you shout, finally releasing her hand to clutch at your own horns in frustration. You throw your head back to glower at the ceiling, not wanting to see her face. ‘Yes, I have feelings for you! I have always had feelings for you!’ The whole hive might as well know, you figure. ‘But you didn’t return them!’ You finally look back at her. Terezi’s face is blank. You blunder blindly on. ‘You didn’t like me back and I wanted you to be happy! I have always wanted you to be happy and if that isn’t going to be with me, then I can suck it!’ You stare at her, panting, hands still on your horns. She says nothing, does nothing. You want to scream in frustration.

‘I don’t know what they are,’ you conclude, more softly now, ‘but yes. Yes, I have feelings for you.’ She is silent and still. You don’t know what to say.

'Why didn't you tell me?' Is her next, quiet question. You make an inarticulate nosie of frustration, both at her for asking and at yourself for not being able to find a good way of putting the answer into words.

'I just... I thought it wasn't worth it,' you manage eventually. 'I just thought... after everything... all the confusion and shit on the meteor...' You sigh again. 'I thought we couldn't be anything no matter what I felt.' You don't mention Meenah because that would be stupid. You don't mention Jade because that would also be stupid. You only say the bare bones because anything else would be starting something you don't want to.

‘Karkat...’ she whispers, voice filled with an emotion you are too stupid to identify. She looks as if she can't decide whether to hug you or hit you and you still don't know what to say and you reaching for her now, reaching because you want her like you’ve always wanted her but never had the guts of the chance to tell her about.

And... well, speaking turns out to be irrelevant actually.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Because then you're kissing her. Or... she's kissing you. You're not sure. It's wet and sloppy and nothing at all like how it always is in the movies but... you don't really care. You are kissing Terezi Pyrope. You are kissing Terezi Pyrope, doing a thing you have wanted to do for however long, and god _damn_ , is it good.

...Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just don't seem to know how to make their relationship progress naturally :/


	35. > Kanaya: Answer troll.

> Kanaya: Answer troll.

It wasn't anyone you were expecting.

\-- adiosToreador began trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA] \--

AT: kANAYA?  
AT: kANAYA PLEASE ANSWER THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT!  
GA: Not A Single Comma In That Entire Sentence  
GA: This Must Be Serious  
GA: What Is The Problem  
AT: vRISKA GOT HURT  
AT: aND i DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!  
GA: First Calm Down

There is a pause. You wait twenty seconds before sending your next message.

GA: Are You Calm?  
AT: yES i, tHINK SO,  
GA: Now Tell Me What Happened

He relays the whole tale to you, which we will skip reading because we already know it. A lot of it passes completely over your head, because without most of the background information that he's neglected to include, you can't understand a lot. But you get the general idea, which is enough.

And it's enough to make you worried.

AT: i BANDAGED HER UP RIGHT, i THINK,  
AT: bUT SHE WAS HURT, aLREADY, aND SHE HASN'T WOKEN UP YET,  
GA: Yes I Had Gathered  
GA: Although I Am Finding It Hard To Believe That It Is As Serious As You Are Making It Out To Be  
AT: kANAYA, i THINK,  
AT: i THINK HER SKULL MIGHT BE, fRACTURED,

Oh.

Oh _shit_.

You're hardly a Medicinerator but you do know that injuries like that are often fatal if not seen to. And while you and Vriska do not see eye-to-eye on most things, you certainly do not want her dead. And while you may have abandoned your flushed attractions for her and long since ceased being her moirail, you admit to retaining a _slightly_ soft spot for her compared to _some_ other trolls. Goddamit, this sounds bad...

GA: Are You Positive?  
AT: i LOOKED IT UP,  
AT: tHERE'S A DEPRESSION, iN HER HEAD,  
AT: aND DON'T YOU THINK, iT WOULD BE QUITE POSSIBLE, aFTER BEING HIT BY A METAL DIAMOND THING, oN A METAL STICK?  
GA: And She Has Yet To Awaken  
AT: yEAH  
AT: oR, nO, sHE HASN'T WOKEN UP, yET,  
GA: Get Her To Gamzees Hive  
GA: Hopefully You Are Aware Of The Plan By Now And I Assure You That Following It Is Now Even More Crucial Than It Ever Was Before  
AT: wHY?  
GA: Feferi Revived Eridan  
GA: She Should be Able To Do It Again  
AT: oK,

\-- adiosToreador ceased trolling grimAuxiliatrix [AG] \--

> Tavros: Check on Vriska.

You close you husktop and look to your right, chewing on your lip anxiously. You've laid Vriska out on the floor, in the recovery position, as the internet had instructed. You don't know if you did everything right though. There wasn't anything that told you what to do for both a head injury _and_ broken ribs, along with a half-healed side injury. But your tried your best. It's the only thing you can ever do.

You'd planned to wait for her to wake up, so that you could hopefully ask her what to do. You really, really don't think that moving her is a good idea. But if she stays unconscious for much longer, then you might have to risk it. And if Kanaya is right then Feferi will be able to heal her... right?

You have your doubts about that. You don't want to because Feferi is so nice and so kind but can she really heal? She never did in the Veil, or the Game. You yourself have vague snapshots from other timelines in which you think she might've been able to, but they're as hazy as half-forgotten dreams. You can't be sure.

But this could also be her only chance and you don't want her to die, die again because you couldn't act in time to prevent her from getting hurt so bad. You feel as if everything is your fault. You could have stopped her from fighting, forced her to run with you, but you hadn't. Instead you'd just watched.

You crouch beside her, gently lifting a strand of hair away from her face... then her eyes open.

You freeze. She just smiles.

'You look like an idiot,' she says, voice faint and wheezy. Her breathing is shallow and you suspect it's because of how much her ribs hurt. 'Fuck,' she continues, shifting slightly and wincing. 'Hurts like a fucking bitch. Help me up.' She begins to push herself up and you awkwardly flutter your hands around her, torn between helping her sit up and pushing her back down. Eventually you just grip her shoulders to steady her and hold her gingerly. She’s so close.

'There're eight of you,' she mumbles. Then she closes her seven-pupil eye. 'Better,' she comments, nodding slightly to herself. She's obviously concussed pretty badly and you really don't know how to deal with that. She... shouldn't sleep, you think? Oh, god, you're going to end up killing her even if her injuries don't!

'What do I do?' you say, trying to act calm but sounding far more panicky than you'd intended. Vriska's smirk widens and she rolls herself closer to your body, forcing you to adjust your grip.

'Gamzee's 'ive,' she slurs, nestling against you and closing her eyes. 'Qui'ly... 'S m'port'nt.' You can tell she's about to lose consciousness again so you quickly scoop her up, sliding your other arm under her knees and standing. She mumbles something you can't quite make out, before her eyes flutter open again.

'This gonna be a thing with you?' She sounds more normal, but her gaze is unfocused, face pale, jaw clenched. It's taking so much out of her, just acting like she isn't hurt. 'Does your unluckiness rub off or something? So goddamn  _lame_ , Pupa.' You... don't know what to do or say in response to that, and after a few moments of awkward silence, Vriska's eyes close again. So you get going, carrying Vriska from the hive as fast you dare. You have your own steeds, so no borrowing a random hoofbeast from a forest. You'd felt rather guilty doing that, but it had been necessary, so you put it out of your mind.

You don't want think about that time, either. _Killing_ that troll, it... hadn't been a heroic deed. Not at all. You'd just been too scared to think further than what your instincts were telling you.

You summon a full-grown Horsaroni from the stables. You're used to riding without a saddle because you hate having to burden your steeds any more than necessary, but you need a place to put the packs and probably a way of keeping Vriska from falling off, too. So you strap on a saddle, and saddlebags, apologizing to the Horsaroni continuously as you do so. Luckily the beast doesn't really mind, although it is a little uncomfortable.

You really wish your sylladex could hold bigger things. It would be so much more handy.

Vriska's pack is filled mostly with eight balls. You empty the other two packs of a lot things, because it's mostly just food and water and the journey to Gamzee's hive will only take about three hours at most. Probably two if you keep up a good speed. The leafcritters and squeakbeasts can have it if they want. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters but the journey ahead.

Then you're up onto the stallion and galloping into the night. Part of you realizes just how much like the movies this is, a hero thundering towards the horizon on his faithful steed, intent on saving the lady in his arms.

But it's a very distant realization, something you'll only think about later. Most of you is just scared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> vriska was not meant to become such a prominent character in this thing


	36. > Equius: Feel intimidated.

> Equius: Feel intimidated.

Gamzee Makara is disconcertingly tall.

Growth spurts are to be expected, obviously. Every troll approaching eight sweeps of age undergo vast physical changes, mostly involving added height, added muscle, and an increase in bone density and weight.

You have always had a large muscle mass, accountable for the STRONGNESS you value so much, so you doubt to see much of a growth in that department. You sincerely hope that you do not see any, either – metal already bends far too easily between your fingers and as much as you like being STRONG, as much as it gives you pride, as much as it is _fitting_ to one of your blood status... well, it would be very inconvenient to warp solid steel simply by poking it.

Or breaking someone’s bones simply by touching them...

But you have grown, certainly. Shot right up. The faint blue stretch marks on your arms and legs are proof of this. Nepeta has grown too but she's still below your shoulders. Captor, including his horns, barely reaches your neck. Vantas is a bit taller but only reaches to around your chin. You have all grown, but only you have hit the actual growth spurt stage. You... and Gamzee Makara, by the looks of it.

You yourself can be safely classified as tall, a least compared to most other trolls your age. You stand head and shoulders above everyone else in the room, most of the time.

But you barely make it halfway up Makara's neck, horns included. And although he clearly hasn't started to gain muscle and looks more like he's been vertically stretched than actually increased in height naturally... you cannot forget the ease with which he killed you, and how he must have killed Nepeta, which is far more worrisome, and despite Vantas' assurances that everything is fine now and that the Highblood has never shown any murderous tendencies since that one incident... you are worried.

And very, very intimidated.

The feeling is completely foreign to you. You're used to being sure of yourself, at least as far as physical protection goes. Other things... not so much. Very not so much, in fact... which is one reason why you value your physical capabilities as much as you do. They're one of the few things you have that you can really count on.

Which is why feeling intimidated is even worse than it would be otherwise. You don't think you've ever felt it from another troll before. Even the things from the game – the monsters, the Black King, even the winged demon – had barely made you bat an eyelid. Somewhat foolish, yes, but it does mean that you have never felt this way before.

You are not enjoying it. You may even be hating it, gosh darn it.

To make matters worse, everyone else is acting so normally and you feel so uncomfortably out of place, but also as if you are the only one even remotely aware of the sheer peril of both trespassing on a Highblood's territory and treating it as if it were your own hive! Even Ampora, one step above Makara on the hemospectrum, is acting as if nothing is amiss. It is thoroughly unnerving.

So you cannot relax. Not even after having a good meal, not even when you and almost everyone else (Vantas and Pyrope have mysteriously disappeared) are crowded into the recreationblock, chatting or arguing or watching the television. Not even with Nepeta is snuggled up close to your on the couch, fingers entwined with yours. If anything she makes it worse, because your protective instincts increase tenfold when you're with your moirail.

And with more trolls – all around the same age, all at different stages of adolescence – arriving any day now, things aren't going to get any better. If anything, they will get much, much worse.

Something is going to happen. It is inevitable.

> Terezi: Be confused.

Out of all the dumb things you have ever done – which, granted, is quite small – that... was probably one of the most stupid.

Or perhaps even _the most_ dumb. It depends on how stupid you think trusting Vriska not to hurt Tavros was. It's debatable. But you refuse to get into it.

Because kissing Karkat Vantas when it's so fucking obvious that neither of you know what your feelings are was definitely, definitely a really stupid thing to do. Really, really stupid. But you'd been completely worn out emotionally and... and then it had sort of... happened, you guess. You don't even know which quadrant is was. But it had been good, tongues and everything and even some teeth, until he'd slid his hands under your T-shirt and you'd jumped at the unexpected contact.

The movement seemed to trigger something. He'd jerked away then as is if your lips had burned him. Then stared at you for a few seconds as if you'd just grown another head. Before you could even open your mouth to speak (although you're not sure what you would've said anyway) he was out the door and practically running down the corridor. He hadn't even picked up his husktop.

So here you are, sitting on a pile of blankets, hugging your knees with misery and with no idea about what to do, or what you feel, or what Karkat Vantas feels, or even if it's worth feeling anything anyway because with your and Vantas' track record it'll probably just end in tears anyway.

Being a kid is so fucking confusing and you really fucking hate it. You're more angry than upset, angry at yourself and your feelings and especially angry at Karkat. He's such a dumb wriggler! He flees from romance as if it's something poisonous!

...You wonder if it's anything to do with his blood. The urge to fill all quadrants is normally something instinctively ingrained into trolls. It's what allows you to survive. Karkat, however... Ugh! He's acting so immature! You'd once thought, quite a while ago now, something along the lines of, 'one day I will hit puberty and emit pheromones and wanna kiss other trolls and probably wanna have sex', and after getting over the initial shock of your Epic Realization, you'd just got on with your life. It was all natural perfectly. And it's not like no one in your group hadn't thought of filling concupiscent quadrants. It's not as if Karkat hasn't.

But he's still being such an idiot!

And he claims to be an _expert_ on _romance!_

You want to hit him so damn hard right now. And then maybe kiss him again.

…

Things can never be simple, can they? Even after reality has stopped breaking itself into bits and everything _should_ be normal. But... can any of you  _ever_ be normal after all that happened? Has that bullshit had such a profound effect on your psyche that it's fucked you up  _permanently_  in practically every way possible, including feelings??

The Dave thing isn’t helping, because every thought about Karkat makes you feel as if you’re betraying him in some stupid way. _Betraying_ the guy you broke up with, _betraying_ the guy you'll never even see again! It makes no sense, you should be over it by now... it hurts, but you don’t think you’re _rebounding_ , and you just... want karkat, not even in a sexual way!

You are so fucked up.

As is Karkat.

Maybe the problem is that he can't decide on which quadrant? You're pretty confused, too. You want to love him and hate him both at the same time... You you didn't count on this. Your Seer of Mind powers can become strangely clouded when you yourself are so confused... and Equius' presence in the hive isn't helping. Plus you don't put nearly as much stock in them as you used to. As you halfheartedly scan the future, nothing major stemming from these decisions comes up. Stuff just... happens.

You don't look for too long because you've discovered, rather unpleasantly, that it gives you a huge fucking headache if you put too much effort in. It has ever since the game ended.

You want to scream, cry, laugh hysterically, and maybe hate-kiss Karkat all at the same time. Hormones are so fucking annoying! You contemplate breaking Karkat's husktop to get at him, but it's a really low blow and you're better than that. Besides, damage of personal property can be a pretty serious offense, and a true Legislacerator never commits such petty crimes for her own gain.

So instead you just sit there, on a pile of blankets and next to a husktop that still smells so frustratingly of _Karkat_ , and brood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'd forgotten just how much teenage angst there was in this thing


	37. > Night: End.

> Night: End.

Clocks tick. Stuff happens. The night goes by, filled mostly by shitty romcoms and the tired squabbling of teenagers. Nothing is resolved but nothing new comes up either. We can safely skip this part.

And eventually, the moons begins to set and the sun begins to rise.

> Terezi: Tell us what happens.

That day, everyone sleeps in the sitting block.

It's a strange, unanimous, unspoken decision. When the time comes to sleep, everybody goes around the hive, pulling cushions off chairs, and blankets out of closets. Eridan gets the couch because he insists he's still recovering and no one feels like arguing with him, and the floor of the recreationblock ends up covered literally from wall to wall with cushions and pillows of every size and almost every shape, leaving not a square inch of icky gray carpet visible. Then, everyone finds a place in which to spread themselves, lays down, and attempts to sleep.

Nepeta and Equius sleep close to each other, of course. Aradia, who had arrived not long ago, is lying next to Sollux, gently fiddling with his hair. You try not to focus on them for too long – seeing anything quadrant-related is makes you feel uncomfortable.

Your yourself have deliberately chosen a spot very far away from Karkat.

The day slips by quite peacefully, at first. Nobody says anything to break the silence, although you can tell that not everybody is tired enough to sleep, yourself included. But it's good just to rest after the stress of the past few nights, and good to be able to think about some things without the chance of being rudely interrupted. The trolls that do sleep don't seem to have any dayterrors either, which is good. Sopor remains in the blood for a few nights or so, depending on metabolism. You don't expect it to last long, though...

A little while later, _just_ as you think that you _might_ be slipping into a doze, the clattering of hooves sounds from outside has everyone suddenly wide awake. Seems less of them were sleeping than you'd thought.

Tavros _carries_ Vriska inside, and for what seems like a very long time everyone is running around and trying not to panic and not actually getting anything done at all. And demanding Tavros why the _hell_ he didn't tell them that Vriska was hurt before he arrived with her. Tavros can't do anything but stammer the beginnings of sentences until Feferi rescues him. She leads him through into the recreationblock and you poke Eridan off the couch with tour cane because he isn't the one who needs it the most anymore.

Vriska smells of cheap blueberry Popsicle, the sort that don't have a single real blueberry in them and are overly sweet and have a weird aftertaste, that is even less like real blueberries, and that clings to your tongue for ages afterwards. It's the smell of old blood and bruised flesh. And it feels so wrong to liken it to _Vriska_ , the troll who won't let anything put her out of commission, the troll who just keeps getting up and somehow manages to always get stronger in the process.

You realize you've... never seen her like this. Not in any of the timelines. Even when you killed her, it wasn't like this: she didn't struggle to breathe. It was just over.

It's wrong seeing her like that now. Perhaps even worse is the fact that it wasn't a monster that did it, but an ordinary troll.

It was at that time that you began to realize that the shit you were getting into was a heck of a lot deeper and far, far more dangerous than _anything_ you had previously pictured it to be.

> Feferi: Revive.

It's easier this time, because you have a better idea of what to do, although there's less of a pleasurable rush as you do it. This could be either because Vriska isn't dead or you're not (nearly) as fond of her as you are of Eridan. It's certainly that last reason which means you don't hug her, although you do do your best to smile reassuringly.

You get the feeling that she doesn't see it though, because as soon as she sits up, Tavros practically tackles her back down. For a while they just hug, and everyone else just stares until Vriska leans back and gives you all the finger until the message of 'get the fuck out' is put across pretty plainly.

Everyone leaves at once, because it doesn't take a genius to tell that _feelings_ are involved in this, and for about a quarter of an hour you just stand rather awkwardly in the kitchen, sipping a glass of water and absently watching Karkat pace, muttering to anyone who'll listen and working up a rage. You're too tired to care. Doing The Lifey Thing again, less than 24 hours after doing it for the first time in sweeps, has left you feeling a bit dizzy and slightly weak at the knees.

When Vriska and Tavros finally enter the room. Tavros is keeping himself so close to Vriska that he keeps on bumping into her, and he looks like might've been crying. Vriska on the other hand has her classic sneer firmly in place and looks like she didn't recently arrive as a bloody cerulean pulp. You don't know what's going on between them but you pray it's something good.

Karkat doesn't seem to have any care for feelings, however. He marches straight up to them (you see Tavros flinch), gets right in Vriska's face (her expression instantly hardens) and orders them to tell him what is going on, what happened, and why Vriska arrived as a bloody beaten-up mess. He is supported by mutterings from the crowd behind him although you choose to keep your mouth shut. If you want to rule well, you have to get on with everyone.

 _Everyone_.

Vriska looks murderous. Tavros very politely asks that Karkat doesn't speak to his moirail in that way.

The resulting silence is incredibly loud.

> Karkat: Gape.

'Your  _what?_ ' is the first thing you manage to say after an embarrassingly long time of simply opening and closing your mouth like a fish.

'We're moirails!' Vriska snaps, giving you a hard eight-pupiled glare. You think you preferred her when she was unconscious. 'How many times do have to repeat it? Anyone wanna take bets?' She sounds really pissed off and – oh crap – she's taller than you are and you are suddenly acutely aware that you just yelled at a blueblood. A blueblood who has already committed more murders than her lusus had meters of thread in its web. Oh shit.

'Problem, Karkat?' she says acidly, clearly not in the mood for shit oh fuck you're in trouble. You gulp and immediately try to backpedal.

'I just mean it's weird!' you say quickly, trying to justify yourself before you can piss her off any further. 'You go for perigees without contacting anyone and act really fucking cagey and suspicious and when you _do_ reappear, you turn up here unconscious and with a fucking dent in your skull, and then waltz into a room practically _holding fucking hands_ with the guy you did shit to and he declares you're moirails!' You pause to take a breath before concluding with, 'what am I _supposed_ to say?!'

Vriska looks angry for about a second longer, before she closes her eyes and sighs dramatically, like she's a long-suffering saint. She then pushes roughly past you and goes to sit at the nutrition platform, dragging Tavros with her by the arm. Everyone just stares. Yourself included. Staring at her face so hard you nearly miss the glitter of the ruby hanging on her chest.

'...So,' Sollux begins, after a pause, 'are you going to tell us what the actual fuck is happening or do we have to guess?' Vriska heaves an even more dramatic sigh, and pulls out a tube of blue lipstick from her pocket. Really? Now?

'Yeah,' she says, after she's done smearing the blue over her lips with a practiced ease. 'But... there are some things I wanna save until Kanaya arrives. I want to tell everyone at once and get it over with.'

'Fair enough,' says Terezi, 'but can you at least tell why you arrived as rather undignified blueberry pulp?'

'That would be becaaaaaaaause,' Vriska drawls, 'as hard as it must be for your rodent-sized brain to to believe, I am not completely perfect.' You could almost _see_ those eight As. She really hasn't changed. 'I screwed up,' she says simply. Tavros looks as if he wants to object but Vriska puts her hand on his shoulder, without looking at him, and Tavros closes his mouth.

'The great Marquise Mindfang admits to making a mistake?' Terezi asks, one eyebrow raised. 'Now I _really_ wanna hear your story!'

'Can I at least have a drink, before I say anything else?' Vriska snaps, dropping her cool tones. Terezi's other eyebrow raises. Something is going on between them, and it is frustrating because you have no way of telling what. 'Preferably not Faygo,' she says, tone laced with disgust. It sounds... too rehearsed not to be suspicious.

Feferi pours her a glass of water, and Vriska downs over half of it in one go. Sit sits for a moment, staring into her glass, apparently suddenly aware of everyone's gazes upon her. She gives a small, tired sigh, before saying quietly, 'I guess I owe some sort of explanation, huh?'

'Yeah,' you say, trying to salvage some of your dignity and leadership, 'start talking. Starting with why you're wearing my fucking sign.' She takes a breath, holds it for a moment, and then lets it out slowly and  _now_ you know: she's  _definitely_ acting. Breaking through one layer of facade only to reveal another. She has it all worked out in her psychopath's head.

'It started almost five sweeps ago,' she begins, 'the very instant that I died.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, SO glad i got the chance to edit this one because vriska was horrifyingly OOC in the last version
> 
> (probs no update tomorrow as i will be doing 413 stuff)


	38. > Vriska: Retell epic story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was pretty heavily edited and i consider it much improved

> Vriska: Retell epic story.

'I don't remember much of the Dream Bubbles,' you say, as truthfully as you can, and still not looking at anyone. This isn't how you wanted it to go, but you find yourself far too tired to give a high number of shits. 'But I remember enough. Bits and pieces. Conversations with people, conversations with other versions of myself... those were pretty important, if really freaky.'

'My sign,' Karkat repeats sharply. ' _Tell me_.'

'I'm getting there!' you explain, impatiently, looking up briefly to send him a scowl. His eyes are starting to fill with a red brighter than the stone at your breast. It is, in fact, a very good thing that you are here, and not in some ancient shrine or temple or not-tomb. This needs explaining and he has to hear it. 'You need to hear what happened before, or the answer won't make any sense.' Seeing him flounder in confusion would be pretty fun, actually, and you like knowing more than everyone else around you and dislike telling lengthy stories. But you kinda have to do this one now.

'Whatever...' he mutters, and you keep going.

'I learned stuff,' you say simply, taking a sip of water. You're still really thirsty, but try to hide it. You're not superior to the others at the moment. In fact, being weakened by wounds and lengthy travel and not enough sleep, you could be considered _in_ ferior. That and you haven't seen many of them in a long, long time and you can tell just by looking that they've changed.

'Although I admit that I did spend a long time not doing much of anything,' you continue. 'It was only until our ancestors previous incarnations – shut up Karkat – began to turn up and talk to me that I really started to find out about anything.

'And then I came back. I came back and suddenly, all those selves were me and I could remember both sides of those conversations which was really fucking creepy. But I knew things couldn't be that simple because they never are. There's a catch. Care to clarify, Sollux?'

You look up at him sharply, because even if he can't see it the others certainly can. Captor appears slightly surprised for a moment, as if he didn't expect to be addressed and wasn't paying attention, before he quickly collects himself.

'As you all know by now,' he says, in a straight-forward, business-like way, 'we're slated for culling. All for us.' He stops, and shifts his gaze to the floor. 'But it's worse than that,' he says, more quietly.

'How the fuck could it be worse?' Karkat snarls. You can tell he's afraid. His emotions read like a book. 'Or do I not want to know?'

'You don't,' Sollux assured him dryly, 'but you probably should know. You see... there's no way we could ever get off being culled.'

The resulting silence isn't nearly as stunned as you'd expected, you find with mild disappointment, taking another sip of water.

'I'd thought it was like that anyway,' Nepeta says, with slight confusion. You sigh, and begin to knead your temples. They're all such idiots, goddammit!

'Terezi, you're the one who knows about law,' you say, not looking up. 'You explain.' You can picture her excited smile perfectly. It's all teeth, lips stretched into thin black lines as they're pulled back. It is so perfectly unnerving.

'Sollux sent me the information,' she says, speaking through her grin. 'We're all slated for culling for some reason or another, but it runs deeper than that. Most of the given reasons aren't strictly enough to have us culled. They're arguable. For example, Vriska could -- under normal circumstances -- easily get off culling by showing that she does indeed have both arms and eyes. The drones would not have culled her on the spot. A mistake would be assumed to have been made in the records, and it would be passed over. I myself, being able to see without my eyes, could possibly get out of it as well.' She pauses for breath. Nobody else says anything. Everyone is waiting.

'However, there is more to it than that. The reasons given are merely on the surface. It is practically _encoded_ into the records that we are to be culled. The culling drones won’t even stop to check, which is what they’re _meant_ to do, and cull us on sight. By the time that anyone thinks to check, which they probably won't, it'll be all over and too late.'

She rambles on, going over all the clauses and sub-clauses and law shit that doesn't make any sense to you. So instead you just lean your head on your hand and pretend you're not as tired as you are.

'...So basically,' Terezi concludes, 'we are pretty royally screwed.'

 _Now_ the silence is stunned.

'Then why the fuck are you still smiling?' Sollux demands, the first to recover. You imagine that Terezi's grin only widens. You are probably right, as you usually are.

'Because I won't let us be culled!' she says, complete with devilish cackle. How she can be so lively is beyond you. Sometimes, like now for instance, you really wish that you could steal energy instead of luck. Your actual powers may be the best of them all, but you could really use some more drive right now.

'I am making a plan,' she says, 'to save all our asses! ...Although admittedly it could still use some work.'

'Understatement of the sweep,' you mutter. 'It's, like... lamer than Karkat's usually are.' Terezi gives a sniff and pointedly ignores you. Karkat makes an indignant sound.

'That still doesn't explain why you're wearing my fucking sign,' Karkat practically snarls. _God_ , he's not going to shut up until you tell him is he? You sit up, rubbing your eyes, and finish off your water before answering, deriving some amusement but how flushed his face is getting while you force him to wait.

'After I was resurrected,' you say, 'I started to do some metaphorical digging. And some _un_ -metaphorical digging too-' your shoes had been _ruined_ , '-and after about half a sweep, I stumbled across the Cult of the Signless,' you pause for dramatic effect. There isn't very much. Everyone is too confused.

Another sigh. These guys _really_ don't appreciate good storytelling!

'You don't believe in ancestors, do you Karkat?' you say, then add in a slightly stinging tone, 'even after meeting them. How the fuck you're stupid enough to deny it, _still_ , I don't even _want_ to know!'

'Of course I don't believe!' he scoffs. 'They're made-up hoofbeastshit that highbloods use to further expand their already swollen pride.' You stare at him with a mix of anger and (mostly) mock incredulity.

'Whoa, so you're calling me stuck up now?? After  _everything??_ Fucking hell, you must be an even  _bigger_ insensitive _douchebag_ than I first-!'

' _Stay,'_ Karkat growls, fists clenching at his sides, ' _on the fucking subject_.' No one says anything. The two of you stares, gazes locked, each daring the other to speak another word and you

_don't_

_have_

_**time** for this shit!  
_

'Well, they're not fake,' you snap. 'I have _evidence, fucker_. But that isn't important. What is important is your ancestor and, although it _burns my tongue to say it_ , you, Karkat, are extremely important.' He gives you a sarcastic, skeptical, _are you fucking with me?_ sort of look. You reply with one that says, _open your mouth and I will make you beg for death_.

He does not say anything, which is good. Maybe he isn't _quite_ as stupid as you'd thought.

'The whole bloody story is recorded on my husktop,' you say, putting down your glass just a little too hard. 'You just need to know that your ancestor was known as the Signless, and there is a cult for him. And if you see anyone wearing one of these, then they're probably part of it... or an idiot for picking up and wearing a random necklace they found. But probably a cultist 'cause there aren't many of these around.' Karkat just looks annoyed and confused. You are doing this so well, Serket! Win a medal for explaining stuff!

...Ugh, you are way too tired...

'So you're part of this cult or whatever?' asks Eridan. You glance up, because it's the first thing you've heard him say. His look is calculating, but not hostile, and you take this as a good thing. Ampora is generally ok, you guess. Also you can deal with him pretty easily.

'Yes,' you reply. 'At least, mostly. I support it's ideals. But I am considered part of it. I...' You falter slightly, before pretending it never happen and brashly pushing on. 'I guess I'm in it pretty deep.' You don't say that you sort of wish you weren't, because it makes you sound even weaker than you've already made yourself out to be... even if it's true.

'I'm going to 'coon,' you proclaim, standing up. 'Or couch or whatever. I'm too fucking tired for your questioning right now.' You stride from the room. Tavros follows, standing a little too close for comfort, hands hovering as if he thinks you're about to stumble or something. You don't need support, protection or anything he's trying to give you and he's being _annoying_ , but you're tired. The door closes behind you and the others can talk as much as they fucking like. You don't care.

You can care after you're not almost collapsing where you stand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (if anyone wants to ask why karkat still doesn't believe in ancestors, please do, at the askblog. i have a reason ready but couldn't find a good place to put it in here)
> 
> (if anyone wants to ask any question, ask it. seriously, nothing will annoy me and it doesn't matter whether i manage to write the answer into the fic at a later date or not. a plothole is a plothole and a question is a question)


	39. > Kanaya: Rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I've noticed that something a little strange is going on with AO3. The titles don't seem to be saving right away and last time I checked, the linked to the askblog had disappeared from the fic. Hopefully the staff will sort it out soon.

> Kanaya: Rest.

Although you're nowhere _near_ Gamzee's hive yet, you think that enough ground has been covered to allow you a chance to sleep. A little while ago you sent the poor troll on his way with a jacket as payment and a little less blood that before the two of you had met, and he seemed content enough to fly homeward, leaving you to find a nice tree in which to settle yourself.

As comfy as that lusus' feathers were, and as smooth as that flight had been, you simply couldn't sleep that high above the ground. It just didn't feel safe. Whereas this tree is old and its branches very thick and sturdy. It will do brilliantly as a sleeping spot... or it would, if it came with sopor.

Oh well. A lady never goes anywhere unprepared. You brought sleeping pills which, although nowhere near as effective as sweet, sweet sopor, will be adequate for a few hours. Besides, it's not as if you haven't had worse in all the lives you've lived.

Doesn't stop your dreams from being really weird, though. Obscure chanting, a crowd of people... and for some reason, a horrible feeling of grief. But it's better than the average horrorterrors you suppose... although you can't say you remember any yourself. Before the game, you only ever dreamed of Prospit...

Just an hour or three. It'll be fine.

> Feferi: Fondly regard crustacean.

You can't say you're doing it very fondly, but you watch as Karcrab paces around the table as a ball of furious energy, hands waving like windmills, scowling even harder than usual. He's ranting as quietly as he can, which isn't very, and you, Sollux, and Eridan are watching him, but only half-listening.

'...and I don't see how we're supposed to trust her!' he growls, sharply turning on his heel and beginning to circle the table in the other direction. He's like a shark except less streamline and chewy. Ooh, better not think of that, you might get hungry. 'She's acting too fucking strange! Trying to act 'normal' or some shit, but there's definitely something wrong!'

'Maybe she reely has changed,' you say, shrugging. 'Maybe she's changed, and she's reely trying to turn over a new reef?' The puns have been coming easier and more frequently not that you aren't so stressed. It's nice. Even if some of the others find them rather annoying.

Karkat swivels to face you.

'Feferi, _come on_ ,' he says, exasperated now as well as angry. 'She's _Vriska!_  When has she _ever_ done anything that hasn't either ended up badly for someone else, or benefited _her?_ Fuck, usually it's _both!_ '

'It's been ower a sweep, Kar,' Eridan mutters tiredly, not looking at Karkat and instead staring blankly at the wall. He looks exhausted, slumped in the chair. You don't know why he's still up. 'We'we all changed. Or at least, we should'we.' He gives him a look that would have been pointed if he wasn't lacking so much energy.

'Why're you defending her?' Karkat growls, giving Eridan a glare. 'Oh wait. We all know you hit on anything that moves.' His meaning is clear. Sollux winces quietly. You grimace at the floor. It was a really low blow and you all know it.

For a moment Eridan seriously looks as if he's going to cross the room and punch him. Really hard. You can't blame him – Eridan honestly hasn't said even one quadrant-related remark to anyone, as far as you know. And everyone's mostly been in the same room together, so you'd think you would've heard by now.

But he doesn't. His anger sort of withers: he's probably too tired to care. And Karkat misses the truly murderous look Eridan gives him because he's already turned around by that point.

'She's a manipulative bitch and you know it! We all know it! We'll all be regretting letting her come through the fucking door! And it'll be Tavros first. You can bet it will be. Poor fuck doesn't even know what he's let himself in for!'

'You planning to actually say any of this to her?' Sollux asks skeptically. Karkat stumbles slightly and begins to pace a little slower. You note absentmindedly that his glare looks as if it should be melting the floor.

'Well... I will!' he says firmly, bare feet squeaking slightly on the tiles as he turns sharply around the corner of the table. 'Once I have a better idea of what she's planning.'

'And if she isn't planning anything?' Karkat rounds on Eridan with an expression of such fury that the sea-troll actually flinches slightly.

'Of course she's planning something!' he barks, thudding his fist into the table, all thoughts of being quiet completely forgotten. 'She's a sly, cold, twisted, manipulative—!' The kitchen door flies open. It bangs against the wall and shudders alarmingly. Everyone jumps. Karkat looks terrified.

Vriska marches up to him. For a moment it looks as if a very loud verbal battle is about to take place, and you ready yourself for the noise. These two have rarely been at it before, but you can't imagine it being pretty.

What happens next is a surprise for everyone involved, but mostly for Karkat.

Vriska slams her knee up between his legs. Karkat doubles over, cursing, nursing the, ahem, point of contact. Then Vriska curls her fingers, draws back her fist... and slams it right between his eyes.

Your leader is on the floor, swearing at the top of his lungs. The open doorway to the kitchen is filled with wary watching trolls. Vriska gives Karkat a solid kick to the ribs before she takes a step back and then just stops, standing there, shaking slightly with rage and you ready yourself to grab her or tackle her or do anything to prevent bloodshed. She does nothing, however, but hold her ground while staring with the most terrifying expression you've ever seen on a troll and the only thing you can think of in that moment is  _highblood psychosis..._

Eridan gets up, and shoots a withering look in Karkat's general direction. Once again, Karkat doesn't see him – he's too busy being curled up on the floor, moaning in agony.

'Well done,' Eridan says to Karkat's writhing form as Gamzee steps over and does his best to get him off the floor, and mostly fails. The kitchen has become a sea of confusion, no one wanting to go anywhere near Vriska but feeling the need to fill every available space with themselves anyway. Even Tavros is holding back, and you think of what Karkat said and feel a fleeting bit of sadness because really, how could anything work out between them while Vriska is... well, _Vriska?_

Unless she really has changed, as Eridan had suggested... although you highly doubt that. It's not like you ever really talked, or understood her that much, but you know enough about her to know that  _changing_ just... isn't a thing she does.

The blueblooded troll does nothing. Karkat rises unsteadily to his feet, face still etched with pain, and Gamzee follows every movement like a looming shadow behind him. The block goes quiet and still. Everyone is waiting. What for, you don't know, but the tension is so think it could be cut with a knife. The two trolls stare at each other, cobalt and ruby, and don't make a single movement except to breathe.

You are readying yourself to jump in at any moment and auspisticize, but then Vriska starts to speak.

'If you're going to talk shit like that,' she says, voice perfectly even and level, the exact definition of calm, 'then at least say it to my face.' Then she turns smartly on her heel, and leaves. The conflict is over as suddenly as it began, with only a few blows trades and without a drop of blood shed.

It feels even more unsettling than if they _had_ begun to fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -inserts causal Problem Sleuth reference-
> 
> Fun fact: according to internet research, shark meat tastes like chicken and has the texture of beef steak.  
> Another fun fact: I completely rewrote the end of this chapter.


	40. > Vriska: Contemplate your actions and lack of thereof.

> Vriska: Contemplate your actions and lack of thereof.

You had wanted to kill him. You still want to. Because  _how dare he_  talk about you like that, when he knows  _nothing_ , wrapped in his cocoon of ignorance like a wiggler that hasn't even pupated yet. You've done so freaking much for his pathetic little ass, and he doesn't even know it.

Perhaps that's what you hate the most: his ability to fling  _everything_  back in your face, without even being aware he's doing it.

Will you  _actually_  kill him though? Probably not. It's be such a fucking waste of effort, and besides, the fucking cultists would have your hide.

That and you can deal with a little hate. It's not like it's anything particularly new, and it's not as if people haven't reacted worse to all the shit you're doing in an attempt to save their pathetic asses. So you won't murder that damn troll. You are mature and semi-responsible. And shutting yourself in the first upstairs closet you come across is a perfectly normal and rational thing to do.

Holy shit, you're a mess. And you acknowledge that. But it doesn't mean that anyone else has to witness it.

> Terezi: Reprimand Karkat.

'That was a really dickish move and you deserve every ounce of pain you're feeling.' Karkat glowers at you from the wooden ass elevation device, but he just can't pull off the murderous stare like Vriska can. Gamzee still looms ominously behind him, but you can deal with that asshole and even if you couldn't, you'd have enough backup to take him down, you're sure. Karkat crosses his arms and sinks down slightly into his turtleneck like a stroppy child. You sigh.

'I didn't think she'd  _hear_  me,' he mumbles in protest, accepting how weak an excuse it is by shifting his gaze to the floor like someone who already knows they're about to be proven guilty. Then he rubs stiffly at his crotch again and mutters, 'she didn't  _have_  to kick that hard.'

Now it's your turn to cross your arms. 'Karkat,' you deadpan, 'you antagonized one of the most murderous trolls in the building. What the fuck did you expect?' The guilty party has no answer to that and continues to stare at the floor. Case concluded: Vantas is an idiot.

You turn away and leave the block, abandoning the others to whatever shitfest will follow this up. You need some time to think, to go over what happened and find a good way of preventing something similar from happening in the future. Also to analyse Vriska's actions because there was definitely something off about her...

Vriska is the kind of troll who needs constant minding, and while you think Tavros  _could_  be up to the job, he's more likely to either get flattened or rage-quit, sooner or later. But unless you become a permanent auspistice between Vriska and the rest of the group, you don't see how you can keep things safe without messing up with the tedious beginning of quadrants or coming off as a meddling jerk. Unless...

Unless you just don't do anything this time. Make it someone else's problem, as maybe it should be. It could go either way, you think. You and spidertroll have a... complicated history. Keeping out of matters could do even more damage than sticking your sniff-node into them... but it could also be the opposite.

Your head starts to ache before you even think of using your Mind powers. Anyway it's not like they're much of a reliable source, and for some reason, you feel that using them in this situation would be  _unlucky_  somehow. As if using them would bring about negative consequences unlinked to the act itself, which makes no sense, and you don't believe in luck anyway. Still, you think you'll trust your instincts on this one. Better safe than sorry, because right now, you can't afford a mistake.

> Eridan: Encounter Vriska.

You didn’t _mean_ to end up anywhere near her. You’d left the nutritionblock at about the same time she had, but through the other door and then up the main staircase. You haven’t had a chance to explore the hive up until now, but Feferi was sufficiently distracted so you managed to slip away. This meant, by the way, that you had had no idea that there was not only another staircase, but that it came out in the same hall that the main one did.

You also just… don’t like being around the others much. It makes you feel uneasy. You’ve been on your own so long it feels weird being around so many people. And… you’re waiting for them to stop being nice to you, you guess…

You make it up the stairs just in time to witness Vriska clamber in a random closet at the end of the hall with the air of someone who knows that what she is doing looks highly silly but is pretending not to care.

You entertain yourself briefly with the thought of finding the entrance to Troll Narnia. You then waste even more time wondering why she hasn’t come out.

Eventually, you stop straining your pan over it and go to find out.

‘Vriska,’ you say, putting some effort into pronouncing the V for once, ‘ _w_ _why_ are you in a fuckin’ closet?’ Clearly the best conversation starter of all time that has absolutely zero chance of getting your head chopped off. Thing is, you’ve never been particularly afraid of Serket. Wary, certainly, but sweeps of FLARPing have done something to desensitize you. And as far as you are aware, you old pact still stands – neither of you is going to kill the other.

You hear a muffled thud from inside, made either by a fist or a head. The door doesn’t open, but you hear movement.

‘What’s it to you, fishbrain??’ is the overly-defensive reply. ‘Maybe I like closets. Maybe I think closets are freakin’ cool. Maybe I just want to be _alone_ in one for a while???’ You lick your lips and think of a reply. So long as she doesn’t say ‘fuck off’ outright you can hang around for a little longer.

‘Wwhy though? Just seems kinda dumb is all.’

‘Your voice is dumb and you are dumb! I do what I want.’ A pause, then; ‘And sort out your freakish accent!’

‘I can get Taw if you want?’ you suggest. You hear a derisive snort from within the clothing receptacle and a bit more shifting around.

‘ _Tavros_ is even more of an idiot than _you_ are! I don’t need some stupid, weak, pseudo attempt at lame, futile moirailing right now. I just wanna be alone, and in this fucking closet, _without some fish with legs, **squawking in my ear!**_ **’**

‘They’ll probably make Kar apologize if that’s wwhat you’re—’

‘ _Oh_ my _God!!!!!!!!_ ’ The closet door swings open violently and Vriska leans out, face the exact definition of incredulous anger. You take a hasty step back because anything similar to the treatment she gave Karkat is _not_ a thing that you want, thanks.

‘I am _not_ upset!’ she says, voice low but laced with anger. ‘And _even if I was_ , I do not need someone to _motherfucking **apologize** _ to me like I’m some butthurt wiggler who had a spat on the lawnring! Now take a hint, and _get lost._ ’

‘I wwasn’t tryin’ to say—’ you splutter, but are interrupted.

‘I am _fine_ with the concept of everyone hating me! I’ve _got fucking used to it!_ Besides, it’s not as if I have the freaking time to get people to like me. I have _irons_ in the _fiiiiiiiire_ , Eri _dumb_ , and not a single puny one of them has the word ‘friends’ on it!’ She leans precariously towards you, one arm on the closet door (which has a handle on the inside, for some reason, what the fuck Gamzee) and the other hooked on something inside.

‘You see that?!’ she lets go of the door for a moment and makes a wild gesture about her. ‘Those are all the fucks that _I do not give_ about your concept of friend _shit!_ ’

Before you can think of what to say next, she leans even further towards you, expression changing into something you find far more terrifying than rage.

‘Open your shit-spewing can of a mouth just one more time, and I will fucking kill you,’ she says softly, with a smile, eyes brimming with warmth and moonshine. ‘Piss off before I _make you!_ ’

Then she darts back and closes the closet door on herself with a snap. You can feel the talons of her mind against your own, like nails against your brain, a not-so-subtle reminder of what she could do to you without even _trying_.

You do _not_ open your shit-spewing can of a mouth, instead getting the fuck out of there as quickly as your legs will take you.

> Be Vriska.

You are Vriska Serket and you think you may have just narrowly avoided a _pale fucking fling_ with your ex-kismesis.

Holy shit, that guy is  _terrible!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Eridan is an idiot. A somewhat reformed idiot but still an idiot. His suffering hasn't granted him infinite wisdom. Thank.)
> 
> I am drawing a floor plan of Gamzee's hive, which I will probably post on the askblog if/when it's done.
> 
> (There is a reason for Eridan's 'accent' being inconsistent, btw.)


	41. > Terezi: Locate Eridan.

>Terezi: Locate Eridan.

It has been resolved: you are going to find Vriska, and have a _talk_ with her if nothing else. You need more information before making a verdict.

Before you can, however, Eridan comes downstairs and so you find him instead.

'Hey, Mr. Plum jelly,' you say. 'Have you seen Vriska?' He seems a little rattled so you wouldn't be surprised if he had.

'Yes actually,' he says, taking the nickname totally in his stride. 'But she wwants to be alone for a wwhile.' He sounds a little bitter. Also, he’s put his pretentious accent back on. It’s a shame – you were almost starting to like him.

'Why?' you ask at once.

'That's her business,' Eridan says loftily. 'She's into closets now, apparently.' Ok... you have no idea what he's doing, other than that he's being a deliberately unhelpful douche. Well, you can be annoying too.

'It's just... you know...’ you say innocently, ‘people are gonna make assumptions...' Eridan narrows his eyes.

‘I was polite. She threww it back in my face. End of fuckin’ story.’ You shoot an expression that would have a question mark for a mouth if it was on Trollian. He smells angry at himself and frustrated at what is probably everything in general.

‘You seem pretty worked up about this.’

‘I wwas just trin’ to be _nice_ , you knoww? Fuckin’ despicable a her to act like that.’

You narrow your eyes at him in a cold and suspicious stare. ‘Please don’t say anything about nice guys in this.’

‘ _Wwhat??_ ’ He seems genuinely taken aback, shaking his head and stepping away from you slightly. ‘No! That wwasn’t wwhat I wwas getting’ at all! Look,’ he continues with a sigh, ‘I wwasn’t _hittin_ ’ on her, I swear. Don’t wwant _anythin’_ to do wwith that bitch! Relationships an’ shit is fucked up enough already!’

'Got that last bit right at least,' you say, more bitterly than you intended. A waft of curiosity comes your way and you quickly change your expression to a balanced mix of innocence and polite confusion. It doesn't do much to deter him, however. Damn. Probably overdid the innocence...

He doesn't press it, though. Somewhat surprising, but ok. He probably thinks that if he drops it then so will you, and it’s an exchange you’re willing to make. Still, you’ll keep your nose on him. Just in case.

Eridan isn't finished yet.

'Things are only gonna get worse,' he says gloomily, leaning back against the wall and folding his arms. 'Elewen pubescent trolls, soon to become twwelwe, from literally ewery caste in the hemospectrum, all in the same hiwe together. Imperial drones scheduled to come before the end of the sweep. Hormones an' emotions ewerywwhere. Shit is going to happen.' He is completely convinced. You open your mouth, not sure whether to agree with or oppose him, but are interrupted before you can decide.

'An' noww there's all this shit to do with Wris,' he continues. You try not to laugh at his accent as he says her name. 'We're all slated for _cullin'_ , there's a fuckin' _cult_ for Kar's ancestor and probably him too, an’ _I lost Ahab's Crosshair's_.'

'...Wait what?' You had been in the process of tuning out his rant, but that caught your ear. He aims his moodiness right at you and sends it in a steady stream of thick black treacle. _'That's_ why you're so down? Because you don't have your _gun?_ ' You find this somewhat hard to believe.

He nods, smelling really, really annoyed. You shake your head in disbelief.

'I'm sorry Eridan but that is just such a highblood thing to do.'

'I wouldn't mind so much,' he growls, 'if it wasn't a fuckin' legendary weapon that is probably now in the hands of some fuckin' asshole idiot. Or maybe make that a fuckin' asshole idiot.'

'You suspect somebody?' you ask eagerly, stepping closer again. Now this is interesting! He nods, not looking at you.

'There's a dumbass sea dweller who I swear must be waxin' black for me. If he has it, we're doomed.' He sounds and smells completely convinced. You sigh, and facepalm.

'I thought you were the Prince of _Hope?_ '

'Prince a Hope killed people,' he replies flatly. You wince. Ok, admittedly, that wasn't very smart of you.

'...Well that wasn't harsh and horrible at all,' you reply, equally as flatly. He does something that is probably rolling his eyes and pushes away from the wall.

'I'm gonna go... I dunno. Bury myself under a pile of blankets or somethin' and try to talk to Kan,' he says, striding passed you unhurriedly.

'She's probably asleep,' you say, slightly warningly. Kanaya has been a lot more crabby since becoming a rainbow drinker. You should know – you spent three years with her. Eridan just shrugs and keeps walking, slowly, until you twig that he probably wants you to go away and you quickly stride back down the hall and to the downward stairs. You think you'll give up looking for Vriska for now. She can come down when she's ready.

But when she does, there are some questions she'll have to answer.

> Nepeta: Update shipping wall.

You miss the one in your cave, and Karkat didn't let Gamzee say that you could start another one on a wall in his hive, so you're having to do it on paper. But that's fine! Because shipping is shipping and shipping is good!

Plus, there's no one around to see the other ships you put down, which if they did would lead to... awkwardness. A lot of it.

You keep meaning to talk to Karkat, to confess everything... But every time you never seem to get a chance! There's nearly always someone there, and there's no way you're just gonna say it in front of everyone! Or anyone but him, really.

You also think he might be sort of avoiding you. In the few occasions that you have been alone together, it's only been a few seconds before he noticed and then quickly left or started to do something that involved a lot of other trolls. It's been really disheartening.

But a true huntress never gives up! You will keep on trying until the very day you die...! Ok maybe it won't be that extreme, but when the chance comes, you will seize it with your claws and you will not regret it!

Anyway, back to your chart...

Vriska and Tavros as moirails. Can't say you saw this one coming! Though it seems to be working out pretty well. You draw them holding hands with your paints, and put a large white diamond above them. There! The blue and brown work quite nicely, you think, although there could be better combinations, you guess. Oh well. While you consider colour-coordination to be im-paw-tant, it usually doesn't do anything more than add to the aesthetics.

While you're still on the pale quadrant, you drawn Kanaya and Eridan as possible moirails, with a question mark next to the diamond. It does seem to be heading that way, from what you've heard, but you'll have to wait for her to arrive before you can get solid proof.

And now for the confusing mix of Aradia, Sollux and Feferi. It is confusing because both girls are showing what _seem_ both flushed and pale feelings towards Sollux, and he seems to be returning both as well. That and Aradia is definitely doing something with Equius (you'll have to remember to talk to him about that), and Feferi has been showing probably-pale, possibly-flushed leanings towards Eridan, of all people, ever since you arrived and probably ever since she revived him, although you _suppose_ that could be her non-romantic reaction to his near-death… You do know her pretty well, after all.

Anyway, it is actually a mix of Equius, Aradia, Sollux, Feferi and Eridan.

You draw them all out in that order, then put the possible symbols above each of their joined hands, with a lot of enquiry noodles. You wouldn't be surprised if some black feelings were mixed in there somewhere too, but they aren't really your thing so you haven't looked into them much. You probably should though... if you're going to get it properly correct... You'll come back to that once you're more sure.

Anyway, moving onto the flushed quadrant...

...You don't really know where to start with this. Not because there are too many to write but because there are so many possible pairings that might just have some support but can't be properly vouched for yet.

You admit that you are somewhat stumped when it comes to this quadrant at the moment. You'll probably have to wait a little longer, just to see... The only one that really might just possibly _barely_ happen maybe _perhaps_ is Eridan and Vriska... but that's on the very small basis of how he followed her after she stormed off and it could be any quadrant really.

You _really_ don’t like the idea of them near each other, so you choose to ignore the possibility.

You also feel that you can ignore the possibility of Karkat and Terezi, for the sake of... another possibility. At least for flushed romance. Black, on the other hand... Hmm, it could work! There have been hints already.

And now you're sort of finished. Except you're not. Shipping can be sooo fur-strating! But you love it. You will leave this to dry in a place where hopefully no one will see it, and get back to it later, by which time you should've been able to sniff out some more likely ships!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This, too, was heavily edited
> 
> I still don't know how to get Nepeta right gah


	42. > Kanaya: Wake.

> Kanaya: Wake.

You rise slowly through the levels of consciousness in a way that is _almost_ relaxing and peaceful. In fact it would be incredibly so, even if you are in the rough arms of a tree rather far away from the ground. But it is not. Because of what you have just awoken from.

The dreams were as fuzzy and indistinct as ever. They made no sense, as per usual. It's really frustrating. You wish you know what it was!

...You guess that you could sleep without the pills, but... you're also... afraid of what you'll see. A part of you, a part that only grows stronger each time you see those fuzzy shapes and colors, hear those strange indistinct words, only grows more afraid of what you might witness, of what you will see when you finally pluck up the courage to look properly...

Eridan's message comes as a wonderful distraction.

\-- caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA] \--

CA: hey kan  
CA: you awwake  
CA: i can come back later if you arent  
GA: Hello Eridan  
GA: Yes I Am Awake  
GA: You Managed To Catch Me At Quite A Convenient Time  
CA: swweet  
CA: so can wwe talk  
GA: What Is It That You Wish To Talk About  
CA: anythin  
CA: just  
CA: any random thing

Oh. So it's _that_ kind of conversation. You can work with it, you guess. Actually you can work with it pretty well. Talking about something normal is probably the best thing for you right now.

CA: wwhat's the wweather like there?

The only problem being that Eridan tends to make it _too_ normal. So normal it isn't anymore.

Oh well. It's still a distraction.

GA: A Little Cooler Than What I Am Accustomed To  
GA: But Otherwise Perfectly Hospitable  
CA: its pretty cold here cause a the sea  
CA: wwill you be ok  
GA: I Will Be Perfectly Fine  
GA: I Am No Longer A Mere Troll Remeber  
GA: Besides  
GA: I Doubt That A Slight Change In Temperature Would Affect Me Anyway  
CA: haha a course

You hesitate a moment, before sending your next message. You always tend to get worried when you're talking to him. You really need to speak face-to-face, when you can gauge his mood and emotions from more than the words he puts on the screen.

GA: What Is The Matter Eridan  
CA: nothin  
GA: Really  
GA: I Find That Somewhat Hard To Believe

Trying to help Eridan is like playing a sort of game, in which all information is given in hints that you have to figure out. Things are rarely said straight.

That, however, was quite easy to decipher – it's the opposite of the truth.

CA: ok yeah theres somethin wrong  
CA: wwhen isnt there  
CA: but can we not talk about it  
CA: tell me your problems for once  
CA: please

Ok fine. This is what he wants - a distraction. A distraction from whatever is eating at him now. Perhaps this is the best thing for you, too. Moirailing isn't something that can happen one way, after all... But you want to get something out of him. You want to  _help_.

Even if he refuses to accept is as that (still). Although your discussions have been becoming more in-depth as of late. Maybe it doesn't matter if it isn't defined as a quadrant.

GA: Tell Me What I Is And Then I Will Not Mention It Again  
CA: ugh fine  
CA: i dont havve ahabs an its makin me edgy  
CA: some dumb asshole probably has it by noww and is fuckin shit up wwith it  
CA: thats all

You high doubt that that is completely the truth but you choose to let it be for now. You want to share your problems too. 

GA: Well  
GA: I Had The Strange Dream Again  
CA: shit  
CA: wwas it any clearer  
GA: No  
GA: It Was Fuzzy And Faint And Indistinct  
GA: And Really Quite Frustrating  
CA: sounds pretty fuckin awwful  
GA: Although Those Are Not The Words I Would Have Used That Is The Correct Sentiment Yes  
CA: i dont knoow about this shit kan  
CA: but maybe you should just let yourself dream it

Back onto the beaten path... You sometimes wonder why you even bother straying from it.

CA: i knoww youre scared  
CA: fuck so am i  
CA: but your dreams are really fuckin different to mine  
CA: havve you evver died evven once  
GA: Well No  
GA: But Somehow

You hesitate a moment because you have never said this before, not even hinted at it. Then your fingers are flying over the keyboard and you've pressed 'enter' before you've even realized the message was finished.

GA: I Feel As If What I Will Experience Will Be So Much Worse Than Dying Could Ever Be  
GA: Please Tell Me That You Understand  
CA: i think so  
CA: an i guess you dont havve prospit noww either fuck  
CA: a course theres things worse than dyin  
CA: sorry

The word is tacked onto the end in a way that makes you imagine it as a sort of mumble, sincere but... afraid. You don't like it. And it's ironic because before... well, before everything, to have Eridan speak to you like this - to have him humble and fearful and kind - would have been the most glorious guift in your entire life. Now, the Eridan you want to hear from is the one who angered and irritated you so much. And destroyed the matriorb and killed you.

You want the Eridan you murdered and it's so stupid.

GA: It Is Perfectly Fine  
GA: I Am Not Angry  
GA: Although I Should Get Going Now If That Is Alright  
CA: yeah thats fine  
GA: Try To Get Some Sleep

Ok, saying that was a bit risky. It is a pointed hint. But he doesn't seem to be in the sort of mood in which he would get angry or upset, so...

CA: wwhatevver

Seems he's fine with it. Good. You honestly don’t want to leave, but you need to get there soon and every second is important. You tell yourself, firmly, that you will be able to do more to help him when you’re actually there than you ever will via the internet. It has nothing to do with the fact that you can barely handle him mentioning your literal childhood dreams in such an offhand manner.

CA: bye  
GA: Goodbye  


\-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased trolling caligulasAquarium [CA] \--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like this chapter but I still lack the muse to make it better
> 
> (finished this one in quite a hurry so please say if i made any mistakes)


	43. > Mystery troll: Locate Ahab's Crosshairs

> Mystery troll: Locate Ahab's Crosshairs.

The VILE WEAPON OF DESTRUCTION is relatively easy to find among the BODIES OF THE FALLEN. You move a shattered limb with respectful grace and lift the heavy gun from where in lay in a crevice in the rocky sea floor. Carefully, in am attempt not to disturb the bodies further, you kick up towards the surface, device in your hands not only weighty with metal but with the many lives it has taken.

It will take perigees for this water to clear; sweeps for the bodies to rot away. And even then, their armour and bones will litter the seafloor to be unearthed by seatrolls hundreds of sweeps in the future as an ever-constant reminder of what befell this otherwise beautiful sea. The blood that remains in the water like hideous mist tastes vile on your tongue and stings at your gills. So much life will suffer here because of a few selfish actions.

Brave soldiers. They were only fighting for their cause. They did not deserve such a grisly end. In fact, if you could have your way, both the monstrous machine in your hands, and the troll that had wielded it, would join those bodies in their endless sleep below the waves.

But you cannot have your way, and so this gun must be returned to its supposedly rightful owner, if all is to go well. Moreover, it is not your place to question orders. Unlike some, you know your place.

Now, to do this in a way that won't allow any of those trolls to see you...

> Vriska: Talk to cultist contact.

Talk, huh? Well that's one way of putting it you guess.

\-- arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling mediatorDeceit [MD] \--

AG: Oi.  
MD: ~Serket~  
MD: ~I trust you bring good news~  
MD: ~Except I do not because you never do~  
AG: No. I 8ring a command that you had better fucking o8ey.  
AG: And that is to stay the fuck away from this place.  
AG: Stay the fuck away from ME.  
AG: How long will it t8ke you suckers to realize that I am through with your shit??  
MD: ~Vriska~  
MD: ~It is my duty to inform you that you are making a mistake~  
MD: ~I acknowledge your desire for freedom but believe me, this is not the way to go about attaining it~  
MD: ~Slavery to the system is far worse than an allegiance to the Cult~  
AG: Who s8ys I'll 8e part of either?!  
MD: ~Many of our sources, actually~  
AG: Well, fuck your sources!  
AG: I do what I want, 8itch.  
MD: ~Very well~  
AG: Whoa, w8, that's it? Hah, you're so 8oring. I can't 8elieve you're really dum8 enough to wonder why no one wants to watch your icky shade of 8rown.  
AG: So.  
AG: Got anything to s8y that isn't totally l8me and 8oring today, or it is just the same as any other for you?  
MD: ~No~  
AG: See! This is why no8ody wants to put up with your stupid clu8's 8ullshit! It m8kes me yaaaaaaaawn just thinking a8out it.  
AG: Now scram! And don't even THINK of contacting me again.  
MD: ~I make no promises~  
MD: ~Besides, you contacted me first~  
AG: Goodbye forever, lamest lamer of every L8ME troll that ever existed.

arachnidsGrip [AG] blocked mediatorDeceit [MD]

> Be MD.

That girl is insufferable and you want her dead at your feet, face contorted with pain and unrecognizable with wounds, blue blood splattered over your shoes.

> Be someone else. 

You are now someone else.

> Sollux: Seethe quietly in a place where hopefully no one will find you.

For the past few nights, ever since the fiasco with Feferi and Threshecutioners, your life has been little more than an unceasing flow of anxiety, coupled with bursts of frustration with everything in the universe including yourself. It is throughly fucking with your already limited ability to not bite the heads off other people, because other people are idiots even without you noticing every flaw in their existence the moment you look at them.

Fuck it. Fuck everything.

You're pacing around a large block at the back for Gamzee's hive, waiting for the phase to pass. Because it will, eventually, and then you'll be able to rejoin the others downstairs. Or some of them at least. Sneaking off into the recesses of the hive seems to be quite popular at the moment, and you can't blame anyone because you do it yourself. It helps with a lot of things, although you suspect that a lot of what's going on are actually feelings jams and makeouts and other dumb shit.

That you sort of want to be a part of, actually, because your mind and body are stupid like that.

One of the main, and most annoying, problems with Troll romance is that the people it applies to must suffer urges from all four quadrants, usually all at the same time. This leads to them being incredibly conflicted and even more unsure of what to do with themselves.

And you thought humans had it bad, huh?

But back to Sollux...

With a huff that's also part growl, you slump onto a cardboard box containing a load of clown posters or some other kind of crap. Most of the blocks in this hive are empty, but some are used for storage. This is one of them. There are a few that look like dusty recreationblocks but they're downstairs, nearer to the others, so you've been steering clear of those. You're trying to keep away from everyone until this episode passes...

Paradox space must hate you. Just after you'd escaped your bipolar mood-swings, you have to suffer through these twisted balls of (very negative) emotions which are just as bad, if maybe not worse, than when you were at your lowest bipolar-wise. Yay.

'...Sol?'

You freeze, before very slowly twisting around. You know who it is, though – only one person calls you that. And only one person has that voice.

And they are the last person you want to talk to right now.

Eridan is leaning around the door-frame, looking curious but uncertain, as if he's considering just walking away. The prick.

'Waddaya want?' you mutter, sending a glower in his general direction. The room is dim and Eridan isn't actually wearing a lot of colour at the moment, so he's kinda hard to detect. It's easy to tell where he is aproximately though, and that's all you need.

He shrugs, or at least, you think he does. Too damn difficult to tell. 'Just wondered why you're here,' he says. 'Thought I was alone in wanderin' off into the hiwe and sulkin'.'

'I'm not sulking!' you snap, feeling black and white sparks crackle around your horns.

'Oh really?' he asks, a hint of slyness in his voice. Great, what a wonderful time for him to be a douche. You give him one of your finest glares, which probably isn't as effective without your eyes but whatever. It's all that bastard's fault.

...It has only just occurred to you that the troll who both blinded and half-killed you is standing just outside the room. Huh. You guess it's been such a long time since you've thought about it that it hasn't even crossed your mind until now. You've been sharing a hive with the guy who made you culling bait for nights now and have only just realized it.

...Huh.

You guess it might be because, in all honesty, you don't really mind. It was always going to happen and you had always known that it would. Plus, the voices and much of your duality went away with your eyes, which has certainly improved your life. You guess you've never really had much of a reason to be mad at him. Even though you have every right to be.

But now you're thinking about it again, and some of the stuff you've left buried for sweeps is starting to resurface.

'...Why didn't you kill me?' you think aloud, voice quieter now.

'Huh?' Idiot just sounds bewildered.

You look up, and properly direct the question at Eridan now. 'Why didn't you kill me?'

'Didn't kill you when?' he asks, still sounding confused. And completely stupid.

'In the fucking Veil,' you snap. 'You killed KN and FF—' You think you hear him wince, but ignore it, '—like it wasn't anything. Why not me?' He takes a moment to answer, like he's trying to work out how to say it.

'Some stupid ass reason that sounded great at the time,' he says eventually, voice way harsher now. You've hit a sore spot. Yippee. 'I mean, I was... fuck,' he continues, 'I wanted to start some riwalry or whatewer with you. How would killin' you be productiwe?' He stops, and gives a frustrated sigh. 'I was a fuckin' idiot. You want me to apologize? 'Cause I can. Fuck. I'm sorry.' He sounds agitated, and you don't think he's looking at you anymore. You wonder what he was doing up here in the first place. He's been acting weird since... well, since you all got back to Alternia.

'Whatever, I'm over that shit,' you say, shrugging. You can't tell if he relaxes or not. Dammit, you need to get closer or something. But you're hardly Terezi so you're not just going to go walking up and sniffing at him, which would be creepy and weird.

'Why are you up here?' you ask eventually, deciding that it's time to change the subject.

'Awoiding the others,' he mutters, as if it's a confession. 'Too much noise an’ too many people and Fef seems to be tryin' to attach herself to my fuckin' body or somethin'.' He growls, low in his throat, and you raise an eyebrow.

'I would've thought you'd like that.' He laughs. It's a cold, harsh sound and it throws you off. It's not the sort of sound you'd expect Eridan Ampora to make.

'Yeah, fuckin' ironic ain't it? But now it's just... Oh God I dunno... I guess I'we... been alone too long,' he replies, falteringly.

'It's your own fault,' you reason, because it is.

'I know,' he mutters. You blink. Shit, can't say you expected a response like that. You had imagined complete denial of the fact, a vallient if pointless effort to salvage his pride. 'I know it's my fault it's all my own fuckin' fault,' he mutters, more as if he's talking to himself. You feel yourself frowning, mostly in confusion but partly out of mild concern.

'Uh... You ok, ED?' You don't get up or anything. You're not worried enough to investigate shit further, he's just being... weird.

Eridan absconds without another word, or any hint as to why he suddenly decide to fuck off. You remain sitting, thinking, and don't follow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dislike this chapter :/
> 
> Also, this fic is now considerably shorter since I just skipped an entire section of it. I _might_ make up for it with added stuff, but I doubt it.


	44. > Vriska: Seethe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of troll biology theory shit in this one, if you squint

> Vriska: Seethe.

You hate that girl. Hate her, hate her, loathe her existence with a burning passion. How  _dare_ she 'advise' you to do anything?? She's just stupid and blind. You hate her.

A small sound nearby distracts you briefly. You look up. Tavros is standing a few feet away, shuffling his feet nervously. He has that expression on his face which means that he wants to ask you something but is afraid to. You hate when he does that. It's so pathetic - if he wants something, he should fucking _say_.

'What's up?' you ask, after a few seconds of awkward silence.

'I was, um, wondering if you wanted to... talk?' His voice is quiet and he doesn't meet your eyes. He's twisting the hem of his T-shirt too. He's gonna rip it if he keeps that up...

'Er, ok,' you reply, slightly nonplussed, closing your husktop. You don't want to _talk_ so much as find out what the hell he's going on about. The two of you are not alone in the room: Aradia, Nepeta and Equius are all in here too. And Feferi, although she's asleep. But you can tell that everyone conscious is trying not to stare at you. You get the feeling that you're missing something and and it's making you a little uneasy.

'Y'know, like... um, a feelings jam?' Tavros continues. You blink.

''Feelings jam'?' you echo hollowly. He nods.

'Yeah. It's what, moirails, um, do,' he falteringly explains. Oh. Yeah, the two of you are in some weird mess of a diamond now or whatever. You _think_ you're starting to understand what he's getting at (though it'd be so  _easier_ if he just  _said_ _it_ ) so you stand up. The movement feels awkward; heck, everything feels awkward. How the  _fuck_ is this quadrant supposed to work anyway.

'Not here,' you say hurriedly, with a another glance around the block. You catch Aradia looking away. 'I know a better place,' you mutter, and Tavros nods quickly.  He follows you from the block, chewing on his lip. You’re not sure where this is going and it's unsettling. You don't know how to  _do_ moirails. And you're not used to not knowing how to do things.

> Karkat: Stop avoiding Terezi.

You are  _done_ with this shit. You are _done_ with avoiding her. You have been avoiding her for far too long, and now, the two of you are actually going to talk about some stuff like mature, civilized trolls. That kiss, whether a bad, stupid, spur-of-the-moment decision or not, was still a bitchshitting  _kiss_. You can't just keep on going as if it never happened. It's not fair for her, it's not fair for  _you_ , and it's not fair for the other poor bastards who have to put up these imbecilic quadrant shenanigans.

...Except you've managed to corner her now, and she doesn’t look happy, and she had her cane and it’s the one with the blade and you are definitely, definitely regretting your decision!

Part of you is ashamed at how easily she can walk all over you, because you are a leader and you are meant to be in control.

But most of you says, _‘fuck that, Terezi is terrifying’_.

And yet, you are willing to try your best to not only sort this out, but also not be killed in the process.

Jesus Christ the expression on her face... how are you still alive??

'L-look!' you begin, feeling sweat run down your face. 'It-it's like... well... fuck.' You have no idea what to say. 'I guess I'm sorry?' You... aren't actually sure what, exactly, you are apologizing for, and you don’t think you've done something wrong because she looks even more pissed off than before.

And you have only just realized that you can smell pheromones -- sweet, cloying, thick on the air. Fuck, wait, _she_ was avoiding  _you_ , wasn't she? So that she could wait it out and actually act _normal_ around you... but you went and looked for her anyway.

You are the Knight of Worst Timing. It is you.

'Not good enough,' she growls. Her cheeks are flushed teal, and of course it's you who has to deal with this. Of course. You found her, you have to sort it out... and now what's she gonna do?

You don't really want to stick around and find out, but... running away won't make it any better. There never was an easy way of sorting this mess out.

Having everyone in the same hive was definitely a bad idea. You had forgotten, in one of your moments of Supreme Leader Idiocy, that this incident is a perfect example of when you stick a bunch of (mostly) un-quadranted adolescent trolls in the same hive together.

You yourself seem to be a pretty slow developer. Aside from the eyes, you don't think you've shown any signs of hitting puberty at all. Lower caste trolls tend to hit it earlier and you don't know if it's to do with your blood or if you're just an exception, but you don't seem to be going at the typical rate of growth.

Due to this, most of the other trolls are now taller than you.

Including Terezi.

She slams her hand into the wall, right next to your head. You gulp, and take a deep breath, and prepare to fight, if necessary, but most likely yell for Gamzee or, fuck, anyone to come save your miserable ass. You don't  _want_ to fight Terezi - you want to having a decent shitting conversation with her. But that... doesn't seem to be an option right now.

You brace yourself. You'll only get out a sickle if you have to. Dangerous fighting between potential kismets leads to the ashen quadrant, you know that, and it isn't what you want.

But then Terezi groans and hangs her head, and you feel the danger lessen considerably. Cautiously you wait for her to speak, or move, or just do anything at all. Anything that'll help you work out what the actual _fuck_ is going on.

'I think I'm going insane,' she mumbles.

'You're not,' you say quickly. 'Just hormonal.' You know this shit - well, most of it. Well, most of it in theory. It's a pretty common plot point in the media you enjoy: two (or more) trolls find themselves reaching  _that stage_ of their life; perfectly fine quadrant gets fucked-up beyond belief; vacillation is everywhere; etc etc.

'Same thing isn't it?' ...Ok, you have no answer for that. 'I wasn't actually planning on hurting you, by the way,' she continues, still not looking up. Not that she had to but still. 'For one thing, Gamzee would kill me. But not just that. I don't want to hurt you. I just wanted to see your reaction.'

'Well, I think you saw it pretty well!' God, you sound like a fucking sqeakbeast. You nervously shuffle to the side, trying to slip away, and freeze as she puts her other hand on your shoulder. You look up. So does she. You can practically see the spades in her eyes, and fight back against the instinct to mash your mouth onto her's again. This doesn't feel right. You don't know, yet, what you want out of _any_ relationship with her, and from the looks of it neither does she. It's a rash decision and will end it tears. Terezi's confused, you're confused... it's not healthy.

'Kiss me,' she growls.

And so

(fuck)

you do.

...

Again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I can't write their relationship as healthy, it won't be a healthy relationship
> 
> At least not at first. I'm not that cruel.


	45. > Vriska: Feelings Jam

> Vriska: Feelings Jam.

You go back to in the closet where Eridan harassed you. Weird, negative connotations or none, it is convenient and out of the way and not a place where anyone will come looking for you (except maybe the douchefin himself).

Tavros sits nervously on a box, shuffling his metal feet. It's dawned on you by now that this is probably more for his benefit than yours. Or at least, he wants it to be, but if afraid (hah) to ask outright. This moirailship is pretty awkward, though you guess it kinda works. You, at least, can read him pretty well so you can generally work out what it is he _actually_  wants.

You think.

'So, what's eating at you?' you ask. He stiffens. You can't see very well because it's dark, but Tavros' feet stop shuffling.

'I, um, well... it's kinda... um...' he trails off. You slide closer and feel towards him. You poke at his chest and then find his shoulder.

'You can talk to me,' you say, _trying_ to be encouraging. This shit is harder than it sounds. 'That's what I'm here for, right?'

'I... thanks,' he says, uneasily, before taking a breath. 'At the tomb place,' he begins. 'With the... the indigo troll...' You wait patiently while he collects himself. 'I think... I think I killed him,' he says eventually. You blink. This is sorta surprising. You hadn't seen what had happened but you'd assumed the troll had just been knocked aside and then had chosen to abscond, or maybe been knocked unconscious by Tavros' charge. Not _killed_. It's an achievement for him, you don't know why he's sounding so uncertain.

'Um, ok,' you reply. You're not really sure why he's saying this. Wiggler killed his first troll, it doesn't mean all that much. 'So you killed a troll. What—?' Tavros bursts into tears.

 _Fuck_.

Well done Serket. Absolutely brilliant job you've done here! Forgetting that the troll next to you is the most sensitive, harmless, innocent _twat_ in the whole of paradox space who couldn't even kill imps for grist is exactly what a good moirail should do! Have a gold star for excellence! Have all of the gold stars, all of them!

'Fuck, fuck, fuck. God, Tavros, you huge fucking idiot, don't _cry_...' You wrap your arms around him on reflex and he buries his face into your shoulder, body wracked with sobs. Awkward. 'Um. There there, you squealing wriggler,' you mutter, papping uncomfortably at his back. 'Shoooooooosh. It's ok...' He choking out words between the sobs, but you can't properly distinguish them. So you pap him and shoosh him (or try to at least) until he's calmed down enough to speak properly before pushing him back and wiping his tears away with your sleeve. That's... a thing that moirails do right?

'You did what you had to,' you say trying to sound soothing, and cupping his face in your hands. 'You saved both of us. No one's gonna blame you.' Meanwhile all you can think about is how, fuck it, this is your fault, like everything, because if you hadn't overestimated yourself or underestimated your opponent so damn much, none of the consequential shit would've happened, including the two of you sitting in the closet and having the worst excuse for a feeling's jam the world has ever seen.

'I feel like-like such b-bad person now!' he sobs, trying to duck his head. You don't let him. 'I-I've never... never... never done s-something like that b-before!' You pull him into another hug.

'You're such a weird troll!' you moan. 'Fuck, I should've seen this coming. I am a terrible moirail.'

'No,' he sniffs, shaking his head and managing to whack something over with his horn. You swear they've only gotten bigger since the game... 'I guess, I am, a bit of a weird troll,' he mumbles. 'I guess, most other trolls, out age, would have, already, done something like... that.'

'Well, yeah,' you mutter. It's so different for you, obviously. You were raised to kill. You have slaughtered hundreds, maybe even thousands of trolls. It was for necessity; you don't regret it, don't really feel  _anything_ for it. But it's different for him, so you have to do  _something._

'I won't let you kill anyone again, alright?' you growl. 'I promise.' You don't know if you'll be able to keep it, but it's what he needs to hear, right? You can't do pale, that's a fact, but you should at least fucking  _try_.

'Th-thanks.' Tavros shuffles around until one of his horns is over your right shoulder and his face is no longer pressed against your T-shirt. He sounds as if he's smiling. 'Y-you know,' he says, 'the fairy in Pupa Pan, was actually, Pupa's moirail.' It takes a moment for his words to hit home. When they do, you feel colour rise to your face. _Oops._

'Holy shit. Why didn't you tell me??' Tavros just laughs, not unkindly but still, fuck him.

'It didn't, matter much, at the time,' he replies. 'But... don't you think, that it's good, that it's like this? That maybe, um, it's supposed to be like this?'

'...You mean like serendipity?' you ask, very unsure. The words feel alien on your tongue when not being said with scorn. You don't believe in that bullshit, especially not for yourself. Even taking a relationship seriously is something new.

'Well, maybe...' He sounds just as uncertain as you feel. You think for a moment. To be honest, you have barely thought about quadrants at all for almost two sweeps. There have been way more important things to focus on. And... you and this guy? Fated? Serendipitous? You  _really_ fucking doubt that. Really fucking doubt this  _relationship_ as a  _thing_.

'...Yeah. Maybe,' you lie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pale fail


	46. > Kanaya: Answer Eridan.

> Kanaya: Answer Eridan.

\-- caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA] \--

CA: its official  
CA: i am goin insane  
GA: Oh Dear  
CA: yes  
CA: "oh dear" wwas definitely the prime sympathetic reaction i wwas hopin for  
CA: look i evven took the liberty a putin those speech talons around it  
CA: that is howw goddamn honoured i am feelin right noww  
CA: thanks kan  
CA: thanks so fuckin much  
GA: I Think You Are Exaggerating  
GA: While Hormones Certainly Do Alter Personality Greatly For Short Bursts  
GA: They Do Not Render Anyone Actually Insane  
CA: the fuck  
CA: no  
CA: no no no  
CA: its got nothin to do wwith that  
CA: though that shit is fuckin annoying  
CA: but i am actually going insane  
CA: kan  
GA: Eridan Please Do Your Best To Think Logically  
GA: Although I Understand That That Is Difficult Under The Circumstances  
CA: are you fuckin snarkin me  
GA: Is Mental Deterioration Not A Common Effect Of Lack Of Sleep Eridan  
GA: ?  
CA: fuck  
GA: Sleep Will Will Make You Feel Better  
GA: I Promise  
CA: fuck  
CA: i cant  
GA: Yes You Can  
GA: And You Will  
GA: The Only Question Is Whether You Will Do It Willingly Or Simply Collapse From Exhaustion  
GA: Either One Will Happen Sooner Or Later  
CA: fuck  
GA: Yes You Have Said That Before  
CA: how long til you get here  
GA: From A Few Nights To A Few Weeks  
GA: It Depends On How Many Lifts I Can Get  
GA: But I Doubt I Will Arrive In Time To Help You If That Is What You Are Getting At  
CA: kan please  
GA: Go The Fuck To Sleep Eridan  
CA: im scared kan  
GA: As I Had Gathered  
GA: But Please Just Take My Advice  
CA: i dont want to see it  
GA: I Have Learned It Through Experience  
CA: dont wwant to see that again  
CA: you dont knoww wwhat its like  
CA: i havve to livve wwith it evverynight kan i dont need to dream it too  
GA: Ok Now You Are Just Being Melodramatic  
CA: sorry  
GA: No It Is Alright  
GA: Just Listen To Your Moirail  
CA: i  
CA: fuck  
CA: fine

\-- caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA] \--

Wow. He seems to have accepted you at last.

Either that or he was so out of it that he missed your words altogether which, under the circumstances, actually seems a good deal more likely.

You redouble your pace.

> Eridan: Go the fuck to sleep.

You don't mean to. You don't even want to. But the cushions are soft and you are mind-numbingly tired and it just sort of... happens...

Hopefully you're too tired to dream.

If you're not you don't know what you'll do.

> Feferi: Wake.

Your sleep was not particularly pleasant.

Even exhausted as you were, your rest was far from peaceful. Your dreams were filled with fuzzy images of blood, the blood of your friends, and ghostly memories of fear and pain. Not as clear as an actual night-horrorterror, but certainly not nice to watch. You expect that the worst sort, the sort that comes from lack of sopor, will start soon. You haven't had many before, but you know that they're chillingly real, so real that you don't believe you're dreaming even after you wake up, sometimes.

And there isn't any way of avoiding them.

With a quiet groan, you sit up straight. Your next is stiff and aches dully when you attempt to look to the left. But it isn't unbearable, just annoying. You look around for a clock and then remember that there isn't one. Though you don't think you've been asleep for too long.

Three people are in the room: Gamzee, who is curled up loosely on the couch, watching a romcom Karkat brought with a lazy smile and through half-lidded eyes; Nepeta, who is furiously streaking paint across a piece of paper you carefully avoid looking at because you think you know what it is; and Sollux, on one arm of the couch, making snide remarks about Karkat's taste in film that no one is actually listening to.

You go up to him. It's been a while since you talked, _properly_ talked, and you regret not taking advantage of his presence sooner. You were maybe more wrapped up with Eridan than you should have been, wrapped up with other things before as well and now...

'Can we talk?' you say softly. He looks startled and a little curious, but nods and gets up. He follows you out of the room. You worry at you lip and wonder how to ask if he is or ever was in love with you.


	47. > Terezi: Get your breath back.

> Terezi: Get your breath back.

The sloppy hate-makeout is over. For now. If you can even call it a hate-makeout. Fuck.

It had skirted the edge of both quadrants, too rough to be red and too gentle to be black. Plus, the all-consuming rage that had been clouding your mind had dissipated almost as soon as your lips had met his. You had both drawn blood, certainly, but not in the sadistic, masochistic way that is true blackrom. And yet neither of you had been completely gentle. You hope that Gamzee doesn't mind a little blood in the carpet, not that you really give a shit about what he thinks.

You are as confused as when you first entered the room. But at least you're not as frustrated. God _damn_ that was embarrassing.

Karkat is slumped against the wall beside you, panting at the same pace and rhythm as yourself. He hasn't said anything since the initial kiss. Neither have you. You wait for him to speak, unable to arrange your own thought into any meaningful sentence.

'That was hot.' Neither can he apparently. 'Holy shit.' He looks a little amazed and lot traumatized. He swallows before continuing, breathing evening out. 'What are we?' he says quietly, to the floor. You have to think a while before answering.

'Concupiscent,' you say finally. Karkat snorts.

'Like that's much help!' he grumbles. 'I don't think pale or ashen involves passionate kissing!'

'Does it matter what we are?' you ask, slightly exasperated. It's like he can't decide whether he's expert or clueless about this stuff. Sorta like he can't decide where he wants you, actually.

'It does if we're gonna have any chance of surviving the drones,' he replies adamantly.

'...Not anymore it doesn't,' you say, after a short pause.

'Huh?' You face each other at last. Drops of cherry red syrup still leak from where you bit his lip, but he doesn't seem to mind. You're a bit bloody yourself.

You lean towards him.

'If things go how I want them to, which they should,' you say, 'none of us will even have to meet the drones.' Karkat looks incredulous.

'You can't dodge the Imperial Drones, Terezi.' This may not be the best time to bring it up, but holy hell if it solves the issue at least a little you'll be glad.

'Yes you can,' you say, straight away. 'It's hard, but possible. And we have a technology nerd on our side. Plus, I'll be able to guide us.' You give a small smile. 'Nobody has to die for this society's stupid reasons.'

'What're you and Vriska plotting?' he asks suspiciously, scowling at your from behind his hair. It's grown. He should probably cut it before it gets too long and falls all the way over his eyes, like a shaggy backbeast's. Heh. That's a pretty funny (and somewhat adorable) mental image, actually...

'Something that'll hopefully save everyone's asses,' you reply. The truth is that you're not even sure yourself. You hate having to put so much trust in something that is nothing but the vaguest sketches of a plan, but in the end, what choice do you have if you want to live? 'Though we'll need your help. And Vriska needs to come out of hiding so that she can explain everything.' You pause. 'And you should probably apologize to her,' you advise. Karkat _humphs!_ and looks away, but he doesn't say anything else.

You turn your head away. The silence stretches on. Cautiously, you reach down and put your hand on top of his.

His hand twists around, and his fingers link through your own.

Everything between the two of you is messed up. This won't be the last conversation you and he have on it and that _should_ feel like a good thing. But at least it's the kind of shitstorm you can work with, you think.

> Aradia: Talk to Equius.

You are. And it is so very, very awkward. Which seems to be quite a common thing when you are attempting communication with him.

You have been avoiding this sort of thing for a while, and now you think it was probably too long. You don't know what to say. You've never even thought about this unless you absolutely had to. You're regretting it now. If you had some sort of plan, things would be much easier. But as it turns out, you don't.

'What I'm trying to say,' you begin again, 'is that... well, a relationship that isn't balanced simply cannot be a healthy one.' Equius is doing that standing-and-staring thing. It's unnerving. But you can read him well enough to know that it's because it doesn't know what to do or say, not because he's completely transfixed by you. That would be creepy.

You sigh before you continue. 'You don't hate me,' you say bluntly. You think he might've actually flinched slightly. 'I know that flipping is normal but it can't be healthy for either of us to switch quadrants simply to suit the other.' You stop and wait. After a moment he nods jerkily. You can see sweat running down his face and his fists are clenched. You can see his eyes but from the angle of his head, he's looking at the floor. You hope he doesn't take this too badly.

'...What of the drones?' he asks eventually.

'I... well,' you stop, then take a breath. 'I would be willing to... aid you, in that department, but... well, from the way things are going... we may not even meet the drones.' Now he's looking at you, startled. He opens his mouth to speak but you cut across him.

'We're all slated to be culled!' you cry, waving your arms in exasperation. ' _You're_ slated to be culled! What difference do the drones make?' You can see his jaw working as he tries to work out what to say. You wait for him, trying to calm down a little. You don't usually get angry or upset because it's such an unpleasant feeling.

'You will not speak to me in that manner,' he says eventually. Your heart sinks and you bite back a groan. 'I respect you as a woman, Miss Megido. You will respect me as a highblooded troll.'

'I thought you were over this,' you say sadly, shoulders slumping. He doesn't reply immediately. You think he's probably trying very hard not to simply punch a hole in the nearest wall and honestly, you're a little impressed that he hasn't already.

'I believe I need to break something,' he says eventually, very fast, before striding from the room without a backward glance, so fast he's nearly running.

You watch him leave, because you know now that there's nothing you can do. Then, with a sigh, you slump down on the floor, letting your skirt bloom around you for a moment before it settles. Your chest twinges with loss, even if Equius was only a _potential_ kismesis. But you still feel like a child. A child who simply isn't ready for any of this, no matter what your body thinks. You guess that because you died so young, spent all those sweeps as a ghost, simply being used by the spirits, being alive again means you've taken off from where you started. So mentally, you _are_ still a child.

You hope you haven't screwed things up too much. You can't tell and  _that_ is upsetting. You can't... tell...

You freeze, whole body stiffening, throat constricting so tight you can't breathe.  _You can't tell. You don't know._

_You can't understand the timeline anymore._

> Tavros: Feelings Jam.

The feelings jam is over, really. The atmosphere has lightened a lot, and you're not crying anymore. Instead, you are recounting epic tales with Vriska. She knows most of yours because she either clouded them or accompanied you, but it's still fun. Apparently, she's been doing those temple-raid things for almost a whole sweep!

But right now, she's talking about FLARPing. You get the feeling she doesn't like to talk about the temples and things very much.

'—And there was soooooooo much treasure! Your puny little brain wouldn't even believe it!' You've started taking her insults as endearments now. Or at least some of them. They aren't always said scathingly. 'Piles and piles of coins and gems and pearls! ...It was one of my last campaigns before Sgrub, actually! Although, I've never really found a use for all the money I got...' she tails off. 'Say,' she begins again, in a tone that makes you feel slightly nervous. 'When this is over, do you wanna come with me on my exploits? Like, all the time?' The tone isn't persuading, but she sounds like she's steadily forming an idea and that's always a bad thing.

But she's your moirail now and you trust her. Your trip with her had been scary, yes, but you can't say it wasn't exciting. It reminded you so much of the best times in the game, when you and Vriska had come to an agreement and all you did was scamper around LOMAT, finding thousands of Boondollars for you and your team.

'Um, yeah!' you say. 'I think, I would like that, even if it is a bit scary!'

'Yay!' she says, hugging you. You chuckle nervously, hoping you haven't agreed to something you'll regret. She's being... overly friendly now. But but it doesn’t feel like you're in danger. She's probably just trying to be nice to you.

'So, um, are you ready to leave, now?' To be honest you're getting rather tired of the dark.

'If you are,' replies. You nod, then remember she can't see you and make an 'uh-huh' sort of noise. She stands up, and so do you, being very careful of your horns. You think they've become even bigger, although you haven't exactly measured them. And although you're not at the growth spurt stage yet, you'll have to talk to Equius about your legs, because your current ones are getting small. Huh. It's weird thinking about it like that. You've gotten so used to them that you no longer think of them as metal attachments. It's like you've always had them.

The light of the hallway is bright compared to the almost pitch-black of the closet, but your eyes quickly adjust. You notice that Vriska keeps her seven-pupil eye closed for a while after her other eye has adjusted. You guess it must be pretty sensitive.

'What now?' you ask, once she's opened it. Vriska shrugs.

'Explain more stuff to the others, probably,' she replies, sounding a bit bored now. And you suddenly realized that she hasn't said anything along the lines of _'this is booooooooring!!!!!!!!'_ since before you and she arrived at Gamzee's hive.

So much stuff has changed about so many things. Maybe you'll find out more later, but you don't want to press the issue. Moirailship is built around the trust, and you don't want to risk betraying hers'. And not just because you're scared of her, either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tavros is an unreliable narrator, JFYI
> 
> I mean pretty much all narrators are unreliable but yeah
> 
> I also highly freaking recommend that people at least check the askblog occasionally because it's where I post chapter update notes as well as news for things such as future hiatuses.


	48. > Sollux: Fail at talking to Feferi.

> Sollux: Fail at talking to Feferi.

Shit. You can't do this. Holy crap, you can't do  _anything_. You haven't felt this much for a failure for perigees but now it's crushing down on you worse than the voices of the damned ever did.

Feferi grips the windowsill tightly but steadily. Her expression, form what you were able to make out before she became a sillouette against the last of the morning moonlight, was steady and calm. She knows what she's doing, which is a fucking godsend, because you haven't the faint clue as to how to deal with this shit.

The problem is that Feferi is addressing something you have been confused about for literally sweeps, and you are failing at responding to in a good way. You hadn't been thinking about it recently because of how confusing all the other crap was, but now you're deeply regretting that because there was no way this wouldn't come up. You can't believe how much of asshole you've been, except you can because fucking up crap is practically encoded into your DNA and you should be used to that by now.

'I just want to know,' she says softly, 'if you ever felt anything for me.' You don't know how to answer that because you aren't too sure yourself. 'I mean,' she continues, 'if you were never flushed for me, then that's fine I-I guess...' The slight falter adds a miserable ache to the torrent of other noxious feelings in your chest, your gut, your bisected brain. Please don't be crying. Please, please, please, please don't be crying...

She turns around, and she isn't. She still looks calm and collected, and you feel something else, suddenly, because she has become  _so much_ _more_  in _so little time_ that it makes you feel like nothing compared to her, makes you feel ahsmed to associated with someone so amazing. She's the Heiress Apparent and so often you are stupid enough to forget that.

'FF, I... Oh, God...' You are pathetically lost for words. It's so dumb. 'I like you, FF,' you eventually manage to force out, words tripping awkwardly over your tongue. You need to be honest, whith no snark or sarcasm, and the words are proving themselves to need concious fucking effort not to come out like that. 'I like you, but... but I don't know! You're a lovely, sweet wonderful person and I love you but _I don't know_ if I'm _in_ love with you!' You force the words out fast, because you know how so many of them could give completely the wrong impression.

You hope you haven't crushed too much for her. You do love her, yes, but you don't think it's the sort that she wants so badly. All you've done is make life shit for her, and the knowledge of that rips you up far worse than any wound ever could.

The truth is that you're not even sure yourself. _You did like her_ \-- you were flushed for Feferi, and pale for Aradia. But something along the way got twisted with confusion and now, you don't know anything. Flushed for Aradia, like you were as kids? Pale for now Feferi, the more typical highblood-lowblood quadrant? She has had such a ridiculously huge thing for you since motherfucking _forever_  and you'd wanted to return it somehow, because you were and are just an insignificant yellowblood computer nerd who will die thousands of sweeps before her, and you want to make Feferi happy.

She turns away again. You wait, frozen to the spot, barely even daring to breath.

Then Feferi looks up. She looks up and...

...she's...

...she _smiling?_

Did you smell it wrong? Has your pan finally cracked from the sweeps of abuse it's suffered through? ...No, you don't it's either of those things... You don't think Her smile is forced, either, although maybe a bit sad...

You don't think you have ever missed you eyesight so fucking much. This simply doesn't make up for it and never will ever. You want to be able to tell what she's feeling because  _you do care_ about her.

'Are you ok?' you ask, after a few seconds of stunned silence. She nods. You can't detect even a hint of tears. You walks over and you just stand there, mouth slightly open like an idiot, as she cups your face in both of her hands. She's cool and smells of the sea, but in a good way, not of fish or anything like that. Faintly salty and... fresh, you think.

'I'm glad you're being honest,' you says, completely sincerely. 'And I hope you're happy. I really hope you are.' She plants a kiss on your cheek before reaching up to her goggles. You don't move, even as she stretches the band over your head and pull the lenses down to cover your eye sockets. You don't mind her touching you, you realize.

'Kanaya mentioned you wore them,' she says, by way of explanation. 'I think they look good on you!' A light giggle, then she hugs you. You hug her back immediately. It's not tight or close enough to be flushed, or any sort of quadrant, but you know the two of you will always be dear to each other.

You still feel miserable, positive that the moment will shatter at any time, and that this wonderful troll will run out of the block crying because of you.

You want to prevent that but you don't know how. And the only thing you can think to say, the only thing that feels maybe  _right_ in this mess, could also ruin it completely.

'I don't think flushed would've worked,' you begin, fiddling absently with stands of her hair. It isn't like your hair, or any land dweller's for that matter. It's designed so that water will simply drip right off. That doesn't make it any less tangled, though. 'I mean, I know it's horrible to think about, but you would've outlived me by thousands of sweeps.' You feel her grip tighten slightly around you, and you gently pat her shoulder. 'You need – no, you deserve a matesprit who can be with you for longer.' You pause here, wondering how to phrase what you're trying to say. She waits patiently, and it hurts you that she loves you because you can't give her that.

'But that doesn't mean that... pale wouldn't work out better.'

 _Now_ it's a quadranted hug. And she's sketching diamonds against your back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't actually finish editing this completely but I think I've kept you waiting long enough
> 
> please alert me to any glaring mistakes (or not-so-glaring ones I guess). It's kinda late and I'm tired so yeah


	49. > Karkat: Watch movie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A nice long chapter to make up for the wait.

> Karkat: Watch movie.

You are trying but it's proving to be really fucking difficult. For one thing it isn't your choice in cinema and is therefore  _boring_ as _fuck._  The romantic subplot is flatter than a troll that's had Subjuglators go at it, not having even  _one single concupiscent flip_ in the whole damn thing, and that's barely even the start! The plot is just plain  _boring_ , more money spent on fancy explosions than writing, obviously, and the main character is an idiot with a mouth. Plus, everyone with a working pan knows that this movie is terrible. It was burnt to pieces in the reviews, literally in some cases, and you are over 100% positive that it was stuffed into the grubplayer for no other reason than to spite you.

There's another reason though, and it is that there is something going on behind you that isn't exactly good. Twisting around on the floor, you take what you hope is an inconspicuous peer around the end of the couch.

Gamzee is at the other end of the block, lounging in one of the hideously mismatched chairs by the other door. He has one of those mega bottles of Faygo in one hand which he occasionally takes a sip from,  _how_ does he still have teeth, and his old, scratched husktop balanced precariously on one knee.

Equius is standing nearby. Too close. Too close and too stiffly, fists clenched, muscles rippling visibly under his shirt as he shifts uneasily, sweat already glistening slightly on his skin. He's talking, too, mostly too low for you to hear but you can see the tight line his lips make every time he stops to let Gamzee reply. You can hear _those_ alright, because Gamzee is an idiot who doesn't realize that there could be anything wrong with the situation and isn't lowering his voice. Or maybe he does, and just thinks (knows?) he can handle it, which is ever more worrying.

Stealthily, with long pauses in between, you gradually lower the movie's volume and, straining your ears, are finally able to hear just what the fuck they're talking about that has Equius so tense and Gamzee so steady.

'-and you continue to pollute your noble blood with noxious filth despite your previous actions to the contrary!' Oh,  _hell_.

'Well, brother, you don't have to be forgiving me of that shit,' Gamzee replies causally, voice now loud enough without background noise to make you wince a little. Does he  _seriously_ not understand the situation in, or is he just being an ass? Gamzee can be cunning. Just barely. Ok, maybe that's an overstatement, but he isn't  _stupid_. Especially not now. Moreover, doesn't  _Equius_ get it?! He is so freaking adamant about keeping _Nepeta_ away from your moirail, but isn't considering his  _own_ safety  _one taintfucking bit_ in favour of attempting to  _antagonize_ the same troll who killed him!

Admittedly Gamzee has been relatively calm since then. He's flipped out maybe once since you got back to Alternia and had a semi-decent reason.  _But still,_ it's a goddamn stupid move that you can't even hope the guess the motives behind.

'You are not acting as a highblood should and you will stop it.' Or maybe you can. You don't know Equius that well, you do not fuckingintend to get to know him better, but you have enough experience of his bigotry and batshittary to know that he takes the caste system  _way too goddamn seriously_. Practically nobody else in the group gives a shit anymore. Equius also has some kind of discipline fetish or whatever, and the sudden thought of  _your globewhiffing moirail_ being somehow involved in that has you fighting the urge to vomit.

'Sure, brother. Whatever floats your water traversing device.'  _And Gamzee is going along with it_. Only the threat of being discovered is preventing you from forcing your eyeballs into the back of your skull via facepalm. You can only fucking  _pray_ that Gamzee has some clue as it what is going on. Otherwise you are positive that you are going to wither into a husk of skin from secondhand embarrassment alone.

'No. Stop. I am disrespecting you. My behaviour is unacceptable. You should see fit to punish me.' Equius is now sweating bullets, practically vibrating where he stands. Gamzee continues to sit serenely, showing no sign that he's going to react violently, or in any way other than there sitting calmly and staring with vacant eyes, but you think enough is enough.

'Oi!' you snap. Equius jumps, spinning towards you so fast that his hair whips out almost gracefully, sprinkling a few gleaming droplets of sweat all over the carpet behind him. You think you hear a floorboard crack. Meanwhile Gamzee turns his head towards you in one easy movement, and widens his smile. He raises his bottle of that disgusting swill to you in what might be a brief, idiotic toast before taking another sip.

You get up. Equius towers over you anyway, but you'd rather not be on the floor when facing him.

'You will stay out of this, Vantas.' You roll your eyes. His meager attempt to intimidate you isn't working, and never will.

'Stop harassing Gamzee with your bulgemunching highblood bullcrap,' you instruct. Zahhak respects you as a leader and will do what you fucking say. 'Go talk to Nepeta is something's bugging you, or whatever.' You want to diffuse this shit fast and then watch a movie that doesn't suck putrid shitbags. Or just... do something that doesn't involve the trolls you know being idiots. If that's even possible. Which it probably isn't but what the shit, you can dream.

Equius' jaw starts pulsating, and you think he must be grinding his teeth together under the absurd amount of muscle. His glasses start to slip down as he stares, and you stare back, but his arms remain locked at his sides. Veins throb visibly and you're starting to lose a little of your confidence. The control you have over Equius stems solely from his love of obeying superiors and there's no way you could take him in a fight. You... _might_ be a little out of your league here.

'I refuse to take orders from you, Vantas,' Zahhak replies in a rush. You do not break your stance, or your gaze, but holy shit is this turning bad.

Then Gamzee has a hand on his shoulder. You didn't even see him move, but there is his, you moirail standing idly behind this hulking wall of muscle that you just royally failed to tone the fuck down, still smiling as if all is right with the world.

'Don't think you should be saying that shit, motherfucker. You dig?' The scars on Gamzee's face through stark shadows against his skin. Equius has gone still, not tense but almost limp, and you don't need the icy chill spreading through your stomach to know that his situation has just reached truly impressive levels of sinister.

> Eridan: Wake.

You wrench yourself from sleep with a gasp, shaking, and gradually feeling calm return as you convince your body that it's ok, it was only a dream, and that you're still alive. You've slumped sideways onto the couch and you hastily right yourself, hands automatically going to your hair. As you had expected, the terrors have left you soaked in cold sweat and almost as tired as you were before you went to sleep. To make matters worse, another experience—

_—gills burning, mouth filled with blood, struggling to breathe but you can't you're suffocating on your own fucking blood—_

—has been added to the list. You can't have been out for very long.

You let your hands drop and dig your claws into the couch cushions. _Why??_ What the  _fuck_ did you do to deserve this?! It's not fair, you don't want it, and sure you did bad shit but  _you are fucking sorry, ok?_ You-you're practically fucking _quadranted_ with someone you killed, you've been forgiven, why the shit is your own sunconsciousness  _torturing_ you like this?! It doesn't make sense. It's fucking bullshit.

Your eyes drift to your husktop (well, technically Gamzee's, but it's not like he must want it - it was rotting away in a cardboard box), propped precariously against the side of the couch. Must've slipped off your lap as you thrashed dramatically in the throes of a dream. You want to talk to Kanaya, to someone who might take you  _seriously_ for once, but you don't want to risk it. You've been bugging her so much lately and you know she's been getting annoyed at you. What if she just gets tired of you, like she did before? Holy shit, you would die. There's no way you could survive something like that.

Your anxiety is interrupted by a knock on the door.

'Who is it?' you ask warily, instantly smoothing back your hair again and wiping the sweat off your face. Your clothes are rumpled so you quickly smooth them down, at the same time making an effort to straighten your posture a little and look like the highblood you are. You think you might still have a battered shred of dignity left and wish to keep it if you do, and appearing in front of _anyone_ while you are still shaking in the aftermath of a daymare is no way to do so.

'Me!' says Feferi. Yes, you are pretty sure that that's Feferi. Which you guess isn't too bad, even if she's been annoyingly clingy ever since... yeah. 'Can I come in?'

Denying her access probably wouldn't do anything to deter her. 'If you want,' you reply. The door handle turns, and you give up on trying to right your appearance. You'll look wrecked - not even artistically - no matter what you do. You really need to remember to sort of your fuckin' hair, because it's still stiff with salt and looks anything but styled.

Feferi comes in, smiling, and sits down on the couch next to you. She positions herself daintily – straight-backed, both feet on the floor, and tugs her skirt-thing down to cover herself properly. She isn't wearing her goggles. You remember focusing so much attention on her, once. Every movement, every detail, you swept it all up, treasured it in your memory. Now you still do it, but mostly because it's something you have always done - not because she holds that much meaning. Old habits die hard, you guess.

'Have you been up here all this time?' she gushes, light and fast as a fresh-flowing stream. You nod and she continues. 'Well, you've missed quite a lot!' She rambles on, and you just let it wash over you. The sound of her voice is soothing, always has been,

Something to do with Sollux. They're moirails now. You're happy for her, you guess – although you'd expected them to be matesprits. A part of you is almost irritated – why is she telling you these things? She knows you've always been bitter about it, a shitblood getting more of her royal attention than you. Not that you mind so much anymore, but you wish she'd just remember that. Stop trying to act as if every scrap of bullshit on the meteor never happened. Stop pretending you're still kids.

Abruptly she stops. You hadn't been paying attention to her words but you noticed when the flow of her voice ceases. You focus on her again, and it occurs to you that your expression had probably glazed over. You're still so tired. And now she's looking worried, and it's as if she's only just begun to properly see you. Her gaze flickers from your eyes to the shadows beneath them, then zigzags across the pale skin of your face and the crooked scar. Her eyes linger a moment on your hollow cheeks before slipping down to your clenched fists. Lastly, she takes in the disaster that is your hair. She looks like a medicincinerator inspecting a patient and you don't like it.

You know you look terrible. She doesn't have to be that obvious about it.

'Are you alright, Eridan?' she asks softly. You're tempted to say something sarcastic like 'do I look ok?' or 'well, what do you think?'. You're becoming agitated again, but you manage to say neither of those things.

'Yeah, just tired,' you mumble instead, avoiding looking in her eyes and instead choosing to focus on her tiara.

'Oh,' she says, still studying you carefully. You try to keep your face carefully blank. She was never particularly good at reading you, even when you were moirails. You doubt anything has changed in that department. And you hope that it hasn't, too. It isn't her place to do these things, she's acting so fucking  _pale_ and has been since you saved her. It feels so wrong. That hadn't been a hint from you, it had been compensation and she just doesn't seem to get that.

Then the words are gushing from her mouth again, and you aren't finding it very pleasant now because everything is about you, and you mostly want to be left alone right now.

'Oh, of course!' she says. 'I guess you've had a rough few nights, huh? How's your gill? I can have another go healing it if you want!' Her hands flash towards your T-shirt and-

_You don't want, you do not fucking want her hands anywhere near the thin, delicate, **wounded** membrane of your gill._

You swipe at her hands just before they reach you. One of your ragged nails catches at her skin, raising a pink line and a few beads of fuchsia. She goes still. You freeze, staring at her blood.

'Eridan?' she says softly. You feel sick. You hadn't meant to hurt her, hadn't meant to do anything. And now all you can think about is wet, liquid fuchsia. 'Eridan, I'm fine. It's only a scratch!' She reaches again, upwards, probably to cup your face or something but you don't let her that far. Using the pads of your fingers this time, you push her away again, trying to be more gentle and failing. You're starting to panic and moving smoothly just isn't happening.

'Stop smothering me!' you manage to choke out, staggering off the couch and to your feet. She looks surprised and upset but you just cannot deal with her right now. You know she means well and wants to help but she isn't and she can't.

'Eridan!' she whispers, shocked. 'What ever is the matter?' You grit your teeth and look away.

'I'm sorry.' Speaking normally is hard; saying those words was even harder. Your throat feels tight and if you're not careful you'll end up sounding like a fucking dolphin. 'I don't want you near me.' You abscond before she can say another word. Out of the room, towards the stairs, getting at far away from anyone as you can. You move as fast as possible without running, because the last thing you need some random asshole noticing and asking questions.

Shit. You can't do anything right. Why couldn't you have simply told her straight that you don't want her around you? Stall over shit is all you every seem to do with Fef. You end up locking yourself in the goddamn tower, which you don't think anyone has even set foot in for sweeps. Motherfucking _good_. You climb the staircase, running all the way, before the stairs run out and you sink to the floor beside the window, face pressed against the cool glass. You  _swear_  this isn't dramatics, this is genuinely... fucked up.

Then you take as deep a breath as you can and pull out your husktop. Forget what you decided earlier, you need Kanaya. If anyone can sort out this shit, she can. In fact she's probably the only one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant edit Eridan's bit a bit more but fuck it. Please point out any glaring mistakes if there are any.
> 
> I now keep [this ](http://krazieleylines.tumblr.com/post/50495368343/so-you-think-gamzee-is-a-pyschopathic-monster)  
> in mind when writing Gamzee, so there will be inconsistencies in his characterization compared to how he was at the beginning.


	50. > Perigees in the past...

> Perigees in the past...

Two highly unlikely trolls have an even more unlikely conversation.

\-- )(er Imperious Condescension began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] \--

)(IC: yo  
)(IC: crabcatch  
)(IC: you up in dis shit or what  
)(IC: cod dammit babe u gonna deliver or do i got to go all imperial on your bass  
CG: UH.  
CG: THIS REALLY ISN'T A GOOD TIME.  
)(IC: i swear you say that every fuckin time  
CG: WELL WHEN CAN IT EVER BE A GOOD TIME TO BE IN CONTACT WITH THE SHITBITCHING CONDESCENSION??  
CG: MA'AM.  
)(IC: karcrab plz  
)(IC: just meenah right?  
)(IC: same swell motherfucker yo  
CG: YES EXCEPT NO.  
CG: REALLY NO.  
CG: A THOUSAND FUCKING TIMES HOLY SHITTING HELL NO.  
)(IC: yo you wanna go back on our agreement?  
)(IC: is that the crap ur spewing?  
CG: OH, SHIT, NO.  
CG: GOD NO.  
CG: OUR AGREEMENT IN STILL A THING.  
CG: STILL A FIN.  
)(IC: 38D  
CG: BUT FOR ONE FIN IT DID NOT INVOLVE ME CALLING YOU MEENAH.  
)(IC: fin! 38D  
CG: AND FOR ANOTHER, YOU ARE NOT MEENAH PEIXES.  
)(IC: its too bad you think that way  
)(IC: i jus wanna catch up with an old friend a mine you dig  
)(IC: you are the only one left alive who ever knowed me when i was a young lil guppy  
CG: OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE FINE.  
CG: I'LL TALK TO YOU OR WHATEVER.  
)(IC: das ma lil buoy

> More recently...

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling )(er Imperious Condescension --

CG: YOU WENT BACK ON OUR AGREEMENT.  
)(IC: 38O  
)(IC: now what ever coulda made you think dat huh?  
)(IC: you think condy would jus go back on her motherfuckin word like that?  
CG: YOU ARE FUCKING TERRIBLE.  
CG: UGH, WHY DID I EVER EVEN LET YOU TRICK ME INTO THINKING THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN ANYWAY???

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling )(er Imperious Condescension \--

)(IC: 38(

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling )(er Imperious Condescension \--

CG: MY FRIENDS NEARLY FUCKING DIED YOU QUEEN ASS SUCKING BITCH.

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling )(er Imperious Condescension \--

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] blocked )(er Imperious Condescension \--

> Vriska: Argue with the question mark guy.

Here we go again...

\-- ???? [??] began trolling arachnidsGrip [AG] \--

??: I had a bet on with myself that you couldn't sink any lower.  
??: I lost.  
AG: Well h8h8, fuck me! What 8ullshit stunt did I apparently pull th8s time????????  
??: Don't lie. Stop lying to me.  
AG: Wow, firstly fuck you for 8eing too retarded to even realize that lying is wh8t I DO.  
AG: And secondly fuck you again 8ecause I honestly have no idea what the sh8t I did this time.  
AG: Honest!!!!!!!!  
??: You are either lying again or possibly telling the truth. I am at odds to which is more annoying.  
AG: You could always just read my mind.  
AG: OH W8!  
AG: Hahahahahahahaha! HahahahaHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!  
??: Stop it.  
AG: Why do you even suspect me? I don't want anything to do with you anymore! Not even as far as fucking shit up goes, although admittedly that would 8e SUPER fun.  
AG: I thought I m8de that pretty goddamn clear as well.  
??: If you would only stop being so childish for  _once_ in your pathetic little life.  
AG: Me? Childish? S8ys the hivemind domin8ted 8y this shitty planet's 8ratty little teens. Ha!  
??: Someone sold us to the Condesce. If it wasn't you, who was it?  
AG: Hell if I know. I'm just a child, remem8er? Just an insey 8itsey kiddie who can't do anything.  
AG: May8e it was Scratch. Ever think of that?  
??: I doubt it.  
AG: Yeah. You two are pretty goddamn alike, come to think of it. Two sides of the same currency disk!  
AG: God, you even have opposite text colours. 8lack and white, it figures! I cannot 8elieve that I only just saw it now.  
AG: It's as if some l8me cosmic force looked at you 8oth and decided to m8ke some sort of bizarre, dum8 parrallel. A ploy from some shit artist's imit8tion of the original work.  
AG: And you're 8oth completely annoying! Someone should arrange a match.  
??: Well if you're going to be useless then I'll just take my leave.  
AG: Fucking finally, thank GOD.  
??: Thank you for the suggestion by the way.

\-- ???? [??] ceased trolling arachnidsGrip [AG] \--

AG: Huh?

That was... weird. What the shit did he mean? Probably nothing, really - if anything is was your astounding suggestion that Doc motherfucking Scratch may possibly still be evil. Not that you'd really be able to tell. It's not as if he's spoken to you since you came back, or any member of the group for that matter. Thank fuck.

But. Ugh! You need to hurry up and break the ~~astounding news~~ to Karkat before any crazy cultists come pounding at the door and try to tell him for you. Because - being the insufferable idiots they are - they will do it in completely the wrong way and stupid things will happen, resulting in a lot of confusion, headaches, and embarrassment for everyone involved. Also they will probably try to kill you.

Then you are suddenly broken away from your thoughts by Terezi popping up from behind you still-open husktop and saying, shrilly, long before you've had a chance to recover from her unexpected arrival,

'So, Vriska, what does 'CEE-EE-OW' mean and where did you hear it?'

To which your response is, 'I dunno. What the hell is a dick?'

...And that's the end of any serious thoughts for the time being.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote nearly all of this from scratch. It took a surprisingly short time but I guess the chapter isn't very long.


	51. > Karkat: Don't Move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Like goddamn finally._
> 
>  
> 
> I haven't given up on this fic, never fear, but my muse has taken a bit of a beating lately.

> Karkat: Don't move.

You don't even blink. As if paradox space has just hurled you onto the Land of Explosions and Land Mines or some shit, you don't dare move a muscle. Something could go off here, you know it - something could go off here so fucking violently that a crater will be left where this hive was... You just can't quite work out whether it will be Gamzee or Equius who sends everything to shit. The former is completely calm, and you think that under different circumstances that posture and expression wouldn't be sinister at all. Equius, though, is tense and trembling, and your main instinct is to get Gamzee far, far away before the lump of pure blueblooded muscle so much as twitches. A prod from a single finger could break a troll's arm.

'Gamzee,' you say slowly, aiming for a tone that is low but steady, 'come here.' It's hard to sound commanding when you're about an inch away from crapping your pants. You are presented, yet again, with the main catalyst of this thoroughly screwed-up pale relationship: Gamzee wandering aimlessly into the direct line of metaphorical fire; you leaping forward, hurling curses, and hauling him back. It could be worse, you guess.

Gamzee smiles, and doesn't move. 'Nah, brother,' he casually replies. 'Got this shit all sorted proper, you dig?'

'No you don't,' you snap, already getting agitated. You knew  _something_ like this was going to happen, eventually. The group has never been stable, and one of the dumbest things Past You has ever done is assume it was, and now with all this biology bullcrap going on it was only a matter of time before shit went down. The situation needs to be shut down, now, before it can escalate.

' _N_ _epeta!_ ' you shout, in the general direction of the door. Equius' shoulders slump slightly and hell yes, that's a point to you. The quickest way to end this, clearly, is to get Nepeta over so that she can drag Equius into a pile or something so that he can vent his feelings  _safely_.

Except seconds tick by in awkward silence, with no sign of Nepeta. You'd feel more stupid if not for the rising sense of danger, and as you stand awkwardly in the spotlight, Equius' shoulders tense again and his head raises just a bit and you're fairly fucking sure you just lost that point. You don't think he'll do anything while Gamzee is still touching him, though, so maybe you can use that to your advantage...

More-fucking-over, who's actually the enemy here? Actually, scratch that - what the hell is going  _on?_ You _have_ to step in because _someone_ will _obviously_ get hurt if you don't, and you've had enough experience to know that you should tackle the issue directly and _personally_ rather than forcing it onto some other poor asshole, but you still don't really know what the hell you should  _actually be doing_. Equius and Gamzee must have had some silent conversation behind your back, because you feel as if you're missing out on a fuck ton.

'Ok,' you begin again. 'How about you two just... calmly, and  _slowly_ , step the hell away from each other, and stay at opposite ends of the hive for the next perigee or so?' Holy shit, you _sincerely_   _bulgemunching hope_ that you don't end up having to auspisticize between these two nut cases. That would be fatal, probably even for Kanaya, and having a pale-ashen double reach-around whatever like that always ends up nasty.

'The highblood has seen fit to assert his authority,' Equius says stiffly, and you only don't face-palm because it would temporarily impair your vision.

'Do you seriously not recall what happened the last time he did that?!' you snap. 'Are you really that functionally impaired? Did the lack of blood to the brain do permanent damage or some shit??' Equius has gone ridged. Hopefully that means your words are getting through... except they're apparently not, because Equius is still just standing there, doing nothing, and it is clearly the time to show bullshit to the wind in favour of _some_ sort of change.

> Knight: Do move.

You lunge for Gamzee's wrist. Quick as a flash, Gamzee somehow manages to dodge you without relinquishing his hold on Equius who, due to the sudden movement, has lost his balance and ended up on one knee. You take a swipe a Gamzee's closest horn, and the distraction allows you to grab his elbow with your other hand. Your woop of victory quickly becomes a yelp as Equius and Gamzee  _both_ shift unexpectedly, the former perhaps having finally pulled his head an inch or so from his ass and decided to _do_ something, causing you to trip over some bastard's foot (possibly your own) and start to slowly topple over. You take great care to fall  _onto_ Gamzee, in revenge for all his bullshit, just as he decides to reach  _around_ Equius' remaining horn in an attempt to grab you (steady you?) by the arm. He fails. In the instant after you lose your balance, Gamzee trips over his own feet, and in the tangled spiderweb of flailing limbs and stupidity, a certain ten-ton blueblood gets pulled on top of both of you.

The idiocy is truly impressive. You scream your frustration just as Gamzee starts to laugh, horrible honking bursts right next to your right aural canal. You aim a kick at him but end up hitting your own ankle, the  _really sensitive bony bit,_  on what must've been one of Equius' bloody steel-toed shoes. You can't quite stop a yelp of pain.

And  _that_ is when Nepeta decides to show up.

You can imagine, sorta, how it must look from her perspective - a pile of trolls, all with hands and legs in awkward places, a bit of furious struggling coming from within, proceeded by a yelp of pain. Her moirail on the floor, not moving, your moirail's hand suspiciously close to his neck.

You have never struggled to your feet so fast in your life.

'Wait-!' you begin, raising your hands in what you hope is a pacifying gesture, but your valiant efforts are in vain. Nepeta has her claws out in an instant, cheerful expression morphing into wicked glare as a hiss builds up on her tongue. Her teeth have gotten longer, you note, even if she still only comes up to your shoulder. You've never got Gamzee on his feet so quickly either. Or out of a block. Or up the stairs.

Crisis averted, just barely. Now to nurse your battered ego.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Editing on this was pretty rushed.


	52. > Feferi: Receive many a message.

> Feferi: Receive many a message.

\-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC] \--

GA: Feferi  
GA: Are You There  
GA: And Are You Going To Answer  
GA: Because I Have No Intention Of Stopping Until You Do  
GA: I Am Going To Be Stubborn On This One  
GA: I Have Been Practicing You See  
GA: I Will Continue To Irritate You In Every Way I Can  
GA: Which Is Pretty Much Limited To Continuous Messages Until You Reply But I Will Abuse This Ability As Much As Possible  
GA: Regard  
GA: ...  
GA: ...  
GA: ...  
GA: I Am Not Limited To Typing Words  
GA: ...  
GA: ...  
GA: ...  
GA: The Incessant Pinging Is Impossible To Ignore Why Do You Think They Chose It

Kanaya is right, even if you aren't reading her messages right now and can't actually see what she's saying. The sound is incredibly annoying.

Driven nearly to the end of your reel, you fish your tablet out of your sylladex, tempted to simply mute it and get on with feeling sad. But you know that that would be incredibly silly and childish of you, and you have been trying to be more _regal_ lately, so instead you take a peek at the message if just to see if it's possible to ignore it. Sadly, it doesn't seem to be the sort of thing that would be sensible to disregard, and Kanaya usually knows what she's talking about... you think. Still, you trust her judgement, even if the two of you aren't particularly close now.

GA: This Is Important Feferi  
GA: And Yes It Is About You And Eridan And What Just Happened  
GA: But I Won't Be Saying Anything Until You Answer  
GA: ...  
GA: ...  
GA: ...  
GA: ...  
GA: ...  
GA: ...  
GA: ...   
CC: Ocray I give in.  
GA: Good  
GA: I Was Getting Tired Of Mashing The Finish Crumb Key  
GA: In fact I Was Considering Simply Copying One Message And Pasting It In Multiple Times  
CC: Kanaya.  
GA: Actually Darn Why Didnt I Just Do That Right Away  
CC: Can we maybe focus?  
CC: You said t)(is was important.  
GA: Oh Yes  
GA: Whoops  
CC: What is t)(is about?  
GA: First Things First  
GA: Eridan Wants You To Know That He Is So Incredibly Sorry For Flying Off The Handle In Such An Awful And Inconsiderate Way And Begs For Your Forgiveness With Every Scrap Of His Measly Beaten Heart  
GA: But Cannot Say So Himself For Fear Of Doing Something Stupid Again  
CC: ...Rig)(t.  
GA: His Words Not Mine  
GA: It Took Him Three Tries To End Up With That  
CC: W)(ale, I find it hard to believe him w)(hen )(e can-net even say it to my FAC-----E!  
GA: Yes He Is Being Pretty Pathetic  
GA: But I Think Sincere  
GA: I Will Relay This Information Back To Him  
CC: Wait w)(at?  
CC: Are you talking to )(im too?  
GA: Well Yes  
CC: I don't think I want an auspistice 38/  
GA: And I Dont Want To Be One Dammit  
GA: This Is Me Sighing In Resigned Exasperation  
GA: Funny How This Tends To Befall Me Pretty Much Every Time Someone In Our Group Faces This Sort Of Problem  
GA: Problem As In Any Dilemma Relating To Any Relationship  
CC: I am sorry to )(ave driven you to t)(is 38(  
GA: It Is Alright It Isnt Your Fault  
GA: Hmm I Say That A Lot  
GA: But I Am Here To Sort out This Dispute And Then That Will Be The End Of It  
CC: Its not R-EELY a dispute, I guess. Just a misunderstanding?  
GA: Yes And A Big One At That  
GA: But Through The Layers Of Wwoebegone Suffering I Think I May Have Gained A Slight Understanding Of What The Issue Actually Is  
GA: You both Like Each Other Too Much For There To Be A Genuine Fight I Believe  
GA: Even If Eridan Shows It As More Of An Unhealthy Obsession Than Anything Else  
CC: 38(  
GA: But This Needs Sorting Out  
GA: From Your Perspective What Happened Exactly

With a soft sigh, you tell her about the conversation, if it can be called that. About how you were trying to help him by taking his mind off his own problems but ended up not doing that and how that's probably where you went wrong. You tell her about his reaction to your trying to touch him and his reaction to your blood. Kanaya stays mostly silent, only sending small messages of encouragement and asking a few questions. Once you are done, Kanaya doesn't reply straight away. You suppose she must be conferring with Eridan, or maybe thinking it over. Or both.

GA: Both Accounts Seem To Match Up   
CC: Ok.  
GA: I Will Berate Him For His Behavior Later  
GA: Currently I Would Like To Focus On Ensuring That Such Incidents Do Not Happen Again  
CC: Yea)( I'd rather not have a repeat of this.  
GA: Feferi  
GA: There Are A Few Things You Need To Know About Eridan  
CC: I'm listening.  
GA: The First Is That Since Coming Back He Is Rarely Able To Sleep Without Reliving His Own Various Deaths And Mistakes  
CC: O)(.  
GA: Yeah  
GA: I Am Afraid That You Managed To Catch Him At A Particularly Bad Time  
GA: He Was Already On Edge When You Spoke To Him So A Lot Of What Happened Was Nothing To Do With You  
CC: I sea...  
GA: That And He Has Been So Starved Of Any Form Of Contact For So Long That He Finds Interacting With Others Tiring  
GA: On Top Of His Already Poor Social Skills  
CC: But )(e seemed to be doing w)(ale!  
GA: Yes  
GA: I Was Pretty Pleased  
GA: But It Seems To Have Been Putting More Strain On Him Than I Thought  
CC: Glub 38(  
GA: Another Thing Is  
GA: Well  
GA: Did You Actually Meet Him In Any Of The Dream Bubbles  
GA: ?  
CC: Whale yeah! Not a lot though. He was still such a dumbass.  
GA: He Is Still Such A Dumbass And I Am More Than A Little Done With Him  
GA: But Anyway I Encountered Him A Few Times  
GA: Though It Was Through Various Different Selves  
GA: One Me  
GA: Not Me Me I Believe Although All Memories Of That Time Are A Little Blurry  
GA: Stitched Him Back Together  
CC: 38O R--EELY? T)(at sounds )(ORRIBL-E!  
GA: Yes It Was Rather  
CC: Couldn't )(e put )(IMS—ELF back toget)(er?  
GA: It Seems Not   
GA: Not At That Time At Least  
GA: We Have Seen That The Afterlife Doesnt Always Fix Things  
GA: I Have A Few Theories But I Have not Yet had A Chance To Discuss It With Him  
GA: It Is Something Of A Touchy Subject  
CC: I can imagine!  
GA: But The Final Point Is  
GA: Feferi  
GA: Something Hurt Him  
GA: It Can Be Hard To Tell How Much He Is Exaggerating For Attention And An Attempt To Justify His Behaviour  
GA: I Have Been Trying To Lessen That Habit Of His Without Much Success  
GA: He Is Stupid And Whiny And It Can Be Hard To Tell What Is Genuine But I Know That A Part Of Him Is Hurting Very Badly  
GA: We All Thought He Was Alright And Even That He Deserved What I Did To Him  
GA: I Think Something Happened During Or After He Became A Sprite  
GA: Maybe He Even Realized How Truly Terrible He Had Been To Everyone  
GA: I Dont Know But I Want To Help  
GA: Excuse Me For A Moment  
CC: Kanaya?

She goes idle for a while. You wait, wondering what she's doing. Not talking to Eridan. Maybe something came up wherever she is? You hope she's ok...

GA: Apologies  
CC: Is everyt)(ing ocray?  
GA: Yes  
GA: Everything Is Fine  
GA: It Should Not Be Too Long Before I Arrive Thank Gog  
GA God Rather  
GA: Please Take Good Care Of Him  
CC: Of course!  
CC: You can trust me.  
CC: I want )(im to get better.  
GA: You Have My Gratitude

\-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC] \--


	53. > Night: Pass.

> Night: Pass.

The night wears on. Movie after movie is played, watched, mocked and stamped on - the last, sometimes literally. Aradia appears from somewhere upstairs and she and Equius manage to sort things out like civilized trolls. Gamzee and Karkat sprawl around in the living room and carefully don't talk about what happened. Kanaya sends regular messages covering her progress and it is calculated that she should arrive in three to four nights, maybe less, although it's hard to tell due to how inconsistent her speed, distance and time are. Making it even more hopeless is how nobody can be bothered to keep doing the math until everyone gets the same answer. People chat and talk, nothing important happens so we can safely skip most of this part.

Ahab's Crosshairs mysteriously materializes right in front of the front door, without even a footprint to hint at who could have left it there. It is hastily snatched inside and returned to its rightful owner, much to everyone's anxiety.

For dinner, Karkat begins to make something and then has to quickly change it because shit, Sollux, no _teeth_ and he hadn't planned on that. The result is a soft, doughy mixture that's a bit like grubloaf dough and a bit like solidified soup, tastes meaty, and is somehow still edible. Nobody gets food poisoning but Karkat is dissuaded from cooking again.

A chart is then drawn by the beloved leader and stuck to the fridge using alphabet magnets, indicating who cooks which meals and who washes up for the rest of the week. Vriska makes him have Tavros only do breakfast because his bacon and eggs are 'tooooooootally the best there is'. Kanaya is moved right to the end of the week because no one knows when she's going to appear. Eridan has to be bullied into agreeing to his share. Sollux thinks he shouldn't have to do much of anything because he's blind and Terezi then jumps on the bandwagon. Their excuse is well formulated until it isn't.

Trolls squabble and the chart gets redrawn several times, but eventually it settles on a clear, fair(ish) rotor-system, which while not leaving everyone happy, at least makes people satisfied that everyone is doing at least as much work as they are.

The night wears on. Various trolls disappear with each other and engage in probably quadrant-related activities that nobody else seems too keen on investigating. Karkat is starting to run out of romcoms, and excuses for playing them when all other trolls in the room start loudly complaining. Granted, most of the fuss is over the way Karkat tends to mouth the words while gaze misty-eyed at the screen, but a change of pace is still very strongly demanded. 

Vriska's contacts have suddenly gone silent and remained that way. She should find that more foreboding than she actually does, but spends her time engaging in arguments rather than worrying.

Equius spreads robot parts all over the coffee table, puts himself in everyone's way, and begins making something. After some sharp prodding from his new moirail, Tavros asks the formidable question about his robotic legs. An agreement is made: Equius will begin as soon as he gets back to his hive and has all the necessary materials and equipment.

Things are going surprisingly well.

Sollux pops grubcorn once the romcom is over and declares that he is going to show Karkat a 'real' movie. This isn't met with much warmth but Aradia and Feferi snuggle down with him and Karkat puts the 'uncultured piece of rotting meat' on anyway.

Eventually, the group comes to the mutual decision that it is late enough to go to sleep. Pillows cover the floor once more. The TV is switched off, the lights go out, various trolls slither into each others arms when they think no one else is watching.

The hive goes quiet.


	54. > Terezi: Sleep.

> Terezi: Sleep.

Oh you would, command thingy. You would and you would love to, but you can't. Or at least, not properly.

Because the bone-deep exhaustion has worn off for most people and every half-hour someone will sit bolt upright, fear rolling off them in waves, until a close friend or moirail or matesprit pulls them down beside them and manages to sooth them back into something which resembles sleep.

 _You_ try getting to sleep in a room full of fear and near-constant movement. It's isn't easy! Especially when one has no way of closing her nose. At least, not without eventually dying of suffocation.

You end up drifting a bit, never quite falling asleep but never quite awake either. You had been holding Karkat's hand, discreetly, but about two hours into the day he half-woke up, grumbled something in a distressed sort of way and rolled over onto Gamzee, who promptly crushed him into a hug that didn't allow any freedom for limbs. This is a very weird group of trolls, you are well aware - anyone  _normal_ wouldn't dare let their guard down in such close proximity to someone they weren't quadranted it. It's ironic, really, that the way Vriska and Eridan and Equius, a bit, are behaving the most naturally by choosing spots well away from the main crowd of sprawled bodies. You expect that it'll come back and bite you, this weird trust but hey, right now it actually adds to the sense of security.

There are huge numbers of things that could have caused this abnormality and even more consequences of it, and you actually keep yourself awake thinking about it much longer than you'd meant to. Straight-up psychology isn't really your thing, even if Mind is your aspect, but it can be mildly interesting to think about when there's nothing better to do.

You manage to go right under for what you think might be about two hours, before you are disturbed by Tavros flailing around, still half-asleep, whimpering apologies for at least a whole minute before Vriska unceremoniously shoves him face-first into the pillows again. Everyone sleeping in the same room maybe wasn't the best idea... but you think it would only be worse sleeping separately. At least like this they're people to remind you that your dreams aren't real.

Eventually, some time passed midnight, you get up and leave, moving as quietly as you can. You figure that since you're awake, you might as well get a drink, maybe a bite to eat, and use the bathroom before trying again.

Bright light is filtering in through the blinds over the kitchen window. It can't harm your eyes, obviously, but the smell is sharp and sort of burning, like strong mint. You don't go too near it, heading to the sink instead to get a glass. And... something almost green too? Nah, something must be throwing you off. The light usually gets to you, even if you've never really been much affected by the old horror stories that lurk around the internet in the form of 'spread-this-or-else' messages. You never can, however,  _quite_ shake the feel that you're being watched. Not in a necessarily sinister way, you guess, but it tends to feel as if someone is spying on you. Very rude. Probably just the peppermint brightness interrupting all the other smells.

Still though...

You pause, considering your glass before filling it, finding vague interest in the way the solid and liquid mostly blend together under your nose. But thinking of other stuff too.

There's definitely _something_  other-ish going on. You know that even without Vriska previous assurances that there is some semi-omnipotent force at play. Those claims have also declined very sharply since she got here, so you doubt that they were anything more than meaningless drivel. Or an effort to make you look stupid at best, since crouching in a dark room with nothing but your husktop screen for light was certainly a thing you did. _  
_

But you are still a Seer. And while your vision hasn't shown you very much recently, nothing particularly important, and while you haven't looked very far ahead... well, there had been hints of something. Or more like, there had been nothing, and what that meant was something. Or... Never mind. _Something_ is at play, something you don't really understand, and it has taken getting up at around midday and contemplating a glass of water to get you to realize it. Goddamn.

It is officially too early for universe-altering realizations. You dump your glass in the sink, forego the snack and stagger your way to the nearest ablution block, becoming more and more tired with every step. You consider your reflection in the mirror, the bounced-back cherry of your eyes helping to wake you up a little. You're gonna look awful in the evening, but so will everyone else. You don't think you'd care anyway - everything's started to feel... sort of static. Like the important events in the path of space-time are moving through sludge, taking a long time to get started. They're late too.

Maybe Kanaya will help them. Maybe they're actually lost in the dark somewhere, and she'll glow like fresh white toothpaste and attract them. Even in your sleep-deprived state, however, you don't really consider the number of your group very important. Twelve trolls havealready been proved to be  _far_ too much for paradox space to handle. But having everyone here, expecting  _nothing_ to happen even once Kanaya joins you, is pretty goddamn depressing.

Then again, there could be nothing. Nothing happening, like in your visions. Why are you even assuming that there will be something, anything significant that spans beyond your twelve little lives? The Game is safely over and you'll never have to deal with it's madness again.

That is really wishful thinking, but you let yourself think it isn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I have just started college again, so updates may be even fewer and far between than they were over the summer. Then again, my sense of routine will be back so there could be more. At any rate, exhaustion will probably cause my editing to be fairly shitty.


	55. > Various trolls: Have various conversations.

> Various trolls: Have various conversations.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling terminallyCapricious [TC]

CG: GAMZEE. HEY, WHEREVER YOU ARE, ANSWER THIS AS SOON AS YOU SEE IT ALRIGHT?  
CG: WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT SOME SHIT AT SOME POINT.  
CG: NOT NOW.  
CG: I'M A BIT BUSY.  
CG: BUT DON'T THINK YOU CAN ESCAPE THE INEVITABLE FOREVER YOU SHITSPONGE. WE REALLY FUCKING NEED TO TALK.  
CG: NOT JUST ABOUT THE SHIT YOU'VE DONE.  
CG: I'VE DONE SHIT TOO.  
CG: BUT YOUR SHIT WILL MOST FUCKING DEFINITELY COME UP AT LEAST ONCE IN THE CRAPFORSAKEN BLOOD MESS OF A TALK WE ARE GOING TO HAVE.  
CG: YOU'RE NOT IN TROUBLE THOUGH I SWEAR.   
CG: AHH FUCK WHERE ARE YOU.  
CG: IF YOU'VE JUST FUCKING GOT UP AND LEFT I SWEAR TO GOD, I WILL BEAT YOUR RIDICULOUS CLOWN ASS INTO THE GROUND WITH YOUR OWN GODDAMN POTS OF FACE SWILL, YOU GOT THAT?  
CG: SIGH.  
CG: THIS IS ME FUCKING SIGHING, GAMZEE, BECAUSE YOU HAVE NEVER CEASED TO BE INSUFFERABLE SINCE THE UNIVERSE FIRST SPAT YOU ONTO MY LAP.

======>

apocalypseArisen [AA] began trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]

AA: hi!  
CA: uh hi  
CA: wwhy are you trollin me  
AA: wwell mister im bored and i hear you like history!  
CA: oh wwell in that case  
CA: you havve come to the number one source a info on anythin mildly history related howw may i help you  
CA: although i do specialize in great alternian leaders an the like yknoww military an that shit  
AA: i already know a bit about it  
AA: i do archeology remember?  
CA: no i dont remember wwe havve nevver spoken before i am pretty goddamn sure  
AA: well i did before i died and i got back into it a bit before these shenangians started again  
CA: oh wwell  
CA: sources findin is one thin i suppose but it nowwhere near matches up to the ability a judging an comparin you get me  
AA: oh come on i know youre not that good!  
CA: excuse  
AA: oh come on!  
AA: all empire given sources are horribly biased in an effort to portray highbloods in general but specifically the condesce as undoubtabtly superior to the lower castes  
AA: i doubt youve got the full picture on anything!  
AA: but i can help with that!  
AA: there are some pictures on my husktop of some lovely murals i found that actually seem to be portraying a highblood execution!  
CA: holy shit you do go on dont you  
AA: and that is just the start  
AA: we never really spoke so i wanted to fix that :)  
CA: oh  
CA: alright then wwhat you got

======>

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC]

TA: hey can we talk 0r whatever  
TA: ab0ut feelings but n0t 0nes c0ncerning us  
TA: n0t that i w0uldn't want t0 talk ab0ut us as if i'm av0iding the subject th0ugh  
CC: Yea)( s)(ore!  
TA: awes0me  
TA: cause since y0u are my m0irail i guess i sh0uld be using y0u instead 0f crushing all my feelings t0gether and attempting to feed them int0 a v0rtex  
TA: i'm fucking up s0 much t0day  
CC: )(-E )(-E! It's ok.  
CC: I still think you're SO CUT---E w)(en you get grumpy <>  
TA: i'm s0 glad y0u can still put up with me  
TA: hey can we g0 s0mewhere m0re private?  
CC: U)( ocray!  
CC: I didn't t)(ink t)(ere were many people around w)(ere you are t)(oug)(...  
TA: i'm using my hornset  
CC: O)(!  
CC: W)(y?  
TA: VK st0le my hust0p battery  
TA: i can't even finish updating the system which i have been meaning t0 d0 since f0rever  
TA: i d0n't even try t0 figure 0ut h0w her mind w0rks, it's much t00 fucked up even f0r me by n0w  
CC: ... 38/  
CC: Let's meet up.

======>

)(er Imperious Condescension began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

)(IC: so u might regret going back on our lil deal sometime soon shouty  
)(IC: just a warnin you probs wont see

)(er Imperious Condescension ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

======>

AT: sO,  
AT: aRE YOU READY,  
AT: tO EAT SOME SICK, mOTHERFUCKING, fLAMES?  
TC: OH YOU BET I AM MOTHERFUCKER!  
TC: lets slam this shit like a bitchtits faygo.  
AT: yEAH!!   
TC: BEGIN THOSE SICK RHYMES MY BROTHER!

======>

GC: SO  
GC: ON 4 SC4L3 OF 1 TO 10  
GC: HOW DON3 4R3 YOU W1TH NOTH1NG H4PP3N1NG?  
AC: :33 < twelve ://  
GC: S4M3

======>

CA: no wway  
CA: there is not a fuckin chance in all a gl'bgolybs suddenly nonexistent tentacles that you can convvince me that is goddamn dualscar  
CA: any highblood such as himself wwould have the sense to go wwith dignity that is actually the least he coulda done  
AA: you met cronus didn't you?? ;D  
CA: wwell fuck you too


	56. Days: Pass

> Days: Pass.

The moons rise, and moons set; much of what happened in the last chapter continues. Nights continue mostly as they always did, except now the trolls have decided that it's safe to go outside for short amounts of time, so long as they carry at least one weapon. Karkat runs out of romcoms and grudgingly begins playing the movies suggested by his friends.

Gamzee and Tavros start spending more time together although no one's sure what this means. Karkat and Terezi flip quadrants faster than blinking, despite the former's attempts at setting a clear system. Nepeta remains optimistic and continues to draw out her ships.

Now, hardly anyone is wearing their original shirt, or even one with their sign on it. Karkat, Terezi and Equius were the only ones who managed to bring extra clothes with them, though of course Gamzee has spares in his hive. Most turn the ones lent to them inside-out but for a while Nepeta goes around with the Cancer symbol emblazoned on her stomach (for Karkat is taller than she is), and Tavros doesn't mind which sign he wears.

The rotor system works well after Tavros persuades Vriska to stop manipulating people into doing her share for her. And although some of the dishes made are hardly gourmet, nobody gets food poisoning.

On the fourth day, Kanaya arrives.

> Kanaya: Arrive.

'Ok, you can stop here,' you say. The lusus slows to a trot, and then stops. You smile gratefully at the troll, a blueblood girl, and hand her the cape you made – indigo, with a gold (not yellow, certainly not yellow) lining, and a hood, with the troll's sign embroidered onto the back. She isn't a particularly expressive creature, so the nod and smile means a lot. With a happy expanding and contracting vascular system, you hop down.

You're not actually at Gamzee's hive yet. You didn't want to risk leading anyone hostile to the rest of the group, so you had yourself dropped off outside Tavros'. It won't take too long to run, not with your speed, and at least as Sylph of Space you have a brilliant sense of direction. There is very little chance of you going the wrong way which has been perfect since the start. There was never any time to get lost and the closer you get to your destination, the more anxious you seem to become.

You alert the others to your position, send a quick and private message to Eridan (you're worried about him still, so, so worried even if he does seem to be doing a little better), and then you're off along the coast, going as fast as you can without tiring yourself out and feeling truly grateful for being a rainbow drinker for perhaps the first time ever.

But the journey still feels far too long. You're panting by the time you reach the hive and your hair and clothes have seen better days. But that doesn't matter; you don't spare you appearance anything more than a fleeting thought. You run to the door and knock, and lights go on inside because it's still daylight and they're probably all still asleep but that doesn't matter. You manage to smooth yourself down a little while they're all scrabbling about inside, but looks couldn't mean less to you right now. It's been so long and you just want to see them.

Karkat's voice is audible even from outside, even if the words are indistinguishable, and you can't help but smile tiredly as he barks out orders and attempts to get everyone organized. He's still at it, the whole leader thing. It's heartening.

But eventually the door flies open and you are instantly ushered inside, being smothered by hugs and bombarded with questions. You are smiling. Karkat is smiling, although you don't see much of it before being whisked away again. Everyone is so happy to see you and it is a little overwhelming, and for a moment you forget that there was ever anything to worry about.

Then you spot Eridan. He's hovering at the back, biting his lip. Close but not coming close enough, and while his hair is suitably primed to tell you he spent at least three hours in the ablutionblock before you arrived, he still looks tired. A neat appearance won't make you forget about what he's been through.

Karkat follows your gaze. He makes the connection because, despite what he and others might say, he isn't that stupid. In a few moments Karkat has ushered and bullied the others back into the recreationblock, shouting over any protests, and with a last glance back to you, closes the door firmly. You think he was wishing you luck.

Quiet falls, punctuated only a little by some very forced conversation from the other block. You look back at Eridan. He still hasn't moved.

'Hey,' he says lamely. You feel very awkward, and then have to try not to laugh because this suddenly feels very akin to a first date, despite the fact that the two of you haven't known each other for most of your lives.

'Come here,' you say, fighting a smile. Eridan looks confused and a little bit worried. You hold out your arms. 'I won't hit you.'

Eridan edges closer. He makes an odd little movement as if considering mirroring your own arm gesture, then stops. 'You sure?' You don't think he's asking about the hitting thing.

You sigh. 'Yes, I'm sure.' He waits just another second. You nod encouragingly and give him a smile that is less exasperated.

Eridan gives a sort of muted wail. He crosses the gap between you in two strides, and then your senses are assaulted by bath products as he hugs you very tightly and presses his face against your neck. He has to bend down considerably - Eridan is unexpectedly tall. And he should be taller, you think, but he wasn't eating when and what he should have, and as you hug him back you feel the lumps and bumps of his spine very sharp against your fingers.

'Is this alright?' he asks. Oh god, you're pale for him. 'I mean-' You roll your eyes.

'Of course it is.'

'I've just fucked up so much and-'

' _Shoosh_ ,' you tell him gently. Eridan relaxes slightly. It feels good to finally say it out loud, and to him; not accidentally to your husktop, as you had done many times when life was being cruel and distance even crueler. _  
_

Eventually you push him back, gently, so you can talk to him and hopefully get more than mumbles in response.

'I am going to make you something for that you can sleep, and then you are going to sleep or so help me,' you tell him firmly.

Eridan smiles.


	57. > Nepeta: Quest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People seemed to enjoy this bit last time so why the hell not

> Nepeta: Quest.

It is the night after Kanaya arrived, and you... are on a mission.

A very important mission.

A mission so important that it could very possibly decide the future of every troll in this hive! Maybe even a few outside it as well.

Your mission: ship all the trolls.

_All of them._

...Well, maybe not _all_ of them, and you're not planning on _intervening_ exactly - you're happy for things to just run their natural course. But, as shipper of the group, it is your duty to investigate and record every paw-ssible pairing! No one's asked you anything more about relationships since the brief panic over the imperial drones, and the topic now seems to have been swept under the doormat.  _So_ many friends asked  _so_ many questions, though, and while you swore you'd keep every scrap of juicy information securely confidential, you are still itching with curiosity over something the others seem to have completely forgotten about.

Equius would call your antics f001ish. Or maybe foalish. But you call them fun.

> Nepeta: Locate your first ~~victim~~ target.

You carefully survey the scene. You are in the recreationblock, or 'living room' as Equius always tells you to call it. Also in the recreationblock are Tavros, Vriska and Aradia. Most of the others are in the nutritionblock, you think, and you can get to them later.

Now, who to investigate first...

Tavros is closest, sitting in an armchair and engrossed in a thick book. Aradia is over by the window, winding the handel of a music box. Vriska is lying on her stomach on the floor, winning spider solitaire on her husktop. You have three options while staying in this room, and you choose the nearest.

> Nepeta: Investigate Tavros.

Sneakily, you cross the room, slipping behind furniture so as not to be seen. This mighty lioness is an expurrt at moving undetected!

You sneak around the side of his chair before popping up in front of him. Rawr! Tavros jumps and nearly drops his book, but smiles when he sees that it's you. He's been more jittery lately, although considering his current pale partner, you're not all that surprised.

'Hello, Nepeta!' he says, marking his place carefully before closing the book. 'You seem like, uh, you're having fun!' You quickly school your expression into one of exaggerated seriousness.

'I am on an im-purr-tant mission, Tavros!' you say, voice hushed. The TV is on and Aradia's music box has begun to play, so your voice is pretty well hidden. Tavros' mouth forms and O shape and he leans in closer. 'It is one that could help de-purr-mine the future of e-fury troll in this hive!'

'Really?' Tavros whispered, eyes a little wide. You nod vigorously. You're glad he understand the seriousness of the situation.

'And you can help, Tavros!' you continue, putting your hands on his metal knees and pushing you face closer to his. He waits with baited breath for your next sentence.

'What you need to do,' you say, 'is answer one, very important question...' You pause to draw breath. Tavros is frozen with anticipation. It reminds you fondly of a few of your RPing sessions. You hope he isn't taking this too seriously... though is it an incredibly im-paw-tant thing!

'Tavros,' you say seriously, 'do you have any feelings towards anyone?'

He goes sort of still. A warm brown flush starts creeping up his cheeks.

It was a rather direct approach, more so than you would normally use, but you don't regret it. You like Tavros a lot, mainly because he's the sort of purr-son it is possible to be direct to, at least with this sort of thing, without offending him.

'I, um, I...' He stammers a bit, not looking directly at you. The music and TV play on in the background; nobody seems to have noticed your conversation. You giggle quietly and pat his shoulder.

'You don't have to tell me who,' you say, hoping it'll reassure him. 'Just tell me if you're interested in anyone at all!' You drop your voice slightly. 'And which quadrant, if you don't mind...' Tavros turns an even darker shade of brown.

'Um, well, there is, someone,' he says, quickly glancing around the room. You take a quick look too, just to make sure you're not being listened in on. Tavros' eyes linger for a moment on Vriska, but she isn't paying either of you any attention. Good, because no matter what supposedly has or will happen, she still fur-reaks you out.

Tavros looks back at you and continues.

'It could be, red. But, um...' His smile slips and he looks a bit sad. 'I don't know, if they really, feel that way towards, um, me.'  _Ooooh_ , you have a lot of questions now. But you don't want to be rude, and this is a delicate topic, and you like Tavros.

> Nepeta: Search another troll.

Your quest continues... Who to examine next?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Psst if you want, you can totally tell me which troll for Nepeta to investigate next. It can be anyone, not just a troll in the room.


	58. > Eridan: Dream and Drift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> even MORE scandalous plaemance
> 
>  
> 
> ~~i figured people would need something after the dr who special~~

> Eridan: Dream and Drift.

You don't know how long you've been asleep. You just know that every time you manage to open your eyes, Kanaya sitting beside you and saying soothing things and you quickly fall asleep again. You're starting to wonder if that drink was drugged after all, or whether you are just that tired.

You don't think she's always with you. That would be impractical. But when the done-deep tiredness wears off and dreams finally come, she's there to hold your hand. You feel like an invalid, and you guess you sort of are. But an invalid who's being steadily healed, who is over the worst of the affliction. It's a bit like that one time, when you were much, much younger, when the pollution in the ocean made you so, so sick and you had to spend literally a whole week confined to your recuperacoon while Feferi dabbed at your forehead with a cold sponge and tried to get you to eat more than salted fruit juices without much success.

But this is so much better than that. You aren't actually ill for one thing, so nothing hurts and you can think clearly. And while you've discovered that you are, in fact, crazy pale for Kanaya you aren't struggling to hide flushed affections like you were with Fef the whole damn time. It's been such a long time since you felt so safe, so at peace. Maybe you should be feeling ashamed at being treated like this, at the need to be treated like this... but you aren't. Not even in the slightest.

Eventually your body decides that you've slept long enough, and you find yourself drifting awake. Your body feels as if it's in the grip of rigor mortis and it is not a pleasant feeling. You groan as you finish the job and make yourself wake up properly, before some bullshit like lucid dreaming can start, and find that your mouth is bone dry and you are hungry as fuck. You don't think you've eaten anything solid for... a while, now.

Kanaya gently pets your hair and it's soothing, and for a while you just cannot bring yourself to move, but you know now that you won't go back to sleep straight away. Besides, you've been laying on your back for way too long and it's uncomfortable.

'How long'we I been out?' you mumble, raising a hand to rub your eyes. They're practically glued together with sleep.

'Approximately thirteen hours, twenty-five minutes,' she replies. 'I had hoped you would remain asleep for longer,' she adds.

'Thirteen hours and twenty-fiwe... whoa.' You sit up. Way too quickly. Suddenly your head is filled with the rushing of blood and your vision fills with sparkly blackness. You sway and are only kept upright by Kanaya, who had the sense to quickly grab your shoulder when you chose to move.

'Fuck,' you hiss, as your sight blacks out completely for a few seconds and your head pounds. 'Fuck. That wasn't a good idea. Ow.'

'No, it wasn't,' she says wryly. You can hear the amused smile. You finally open your eyes.

The room is dim and Kanaya is literally glowing. You stare. Because apart from that one time she, y'know, killed you, you have never seen her in full rainbow drinker form. Not in the main timeline at least, and you don't like thinking about the other ones. Without really thinking you reach out and touch her cheek. Her skin is smooth and cool, but there's nothing that gives any clue as to how her skin emits such a glow.

She raises an eyebrow and you quickly snatch your hand back. 'Sorry,' you mumble.

'I suppose you think I am positively radiant,' she says, with a smile. You roll your eyes.

'That pun was terrible.'

'I do my best.' You smile and then, after hesitating a moment, pull her into a hug. 'Thanks,' you mumble into her shoulder. 'Thanks for... for ewerythin', Kan.' She wraps her arms firmly around you, strong as iron, but somehow still wonderfully gentle. She is your anchor. Without her you don't know where you would end up.

'I'm just being a good moirail,' you replies softly.

'I don't deserwe you,' you say miserably. Because you don't.

Kanaya sighs. 'Please don't start that again. You can repay me somehow when _I_ deem it appropriate... Or when I get hungry enough...' She draws in a long breath, tasting your scent. You feel yourself stiffen slightly but try to relax. She probably can't help it and of course, the easiest and simplest way to repay her is to let her drink from you. And you should've seen it coming. But you hadn't really thought about it for some stupid reason.

'You can take a bite now, if you want,' you say, trying to disguise the nervousness in your voice. She gives your shoulder a comforting pat.

In all honesty... the fact that your moirail drinks the blood of other trolls terrifies you. You hate that it terrifies you but it's true, and it'll be a long time before you can get the image of a whirring chainsaw out of your mind every time you glimpse her fangs.

'Karkat has... satisfied me, for now,' you says. You feel an unexpected rush of jealousy that you quickly fight back. Because Kanaya is your moirail so how dare that assblood get that near her, and wow that was a stupid thing to think.

'Ready to go downstairs?' she asks, sufficiently breaking you away from your slight internal struggle. You somewhat reluctantly break away from the hug as well, and nod.

'I'm fuckin' starvin',' you say casually, because what idiot is nervous about leaving a room and meeting people he's known for sweeps and have been in the same hive as him for nights certainly not you ha ha ha ha ha!

Kanaya probably senses your nervousness. She's just brilliant like that. But she doesn't say anything – just calmly takes you hand and gets up, forcing you to move slowly so as to avoid another visual blackout. And you're glad she pretends not to notice.

You have, undoubtedly, the best moirail on Alternia. Why didn't you ever see it before?

> Karkat: Realize that you are not the group's lusus.

You are not the group's lusus.

What you actually are, you don't know. Maybe still the leader somehow. But you are not the lusus.

Because the lusus of the group is undoubtedly Kanaya.

She basically does everything your own crabdad did and more. Not only has she vowed that anyone who threatens the well-being of the group will be faced with her chainsaw, but she has cooked more, cleaned more, and broken up arguments more in the short amount of time that she has been here than you or anyone else has.

She is currently berating you for putting off your chores for so long that Equius was stuck with washing up for both lunch and breakfast and broke half the dishes, and you are just sort of standing there, actually feeling guilty, while she speaks sternly at you and Eridan not-very-silently cracks up in the background.

Part of you feels relieved, because Group Lusus was not a role or a title you were particularly enjoying. It has, though, left you feeling a little lost because you can't complain about trying to look after was herd of bumbling fuck faces when they aren't your responsibility anymore and... maybe never were in the first place.

But fuck, you trust her. You trust her and she is one of your closest friends and if you had to pick anyone to look out for the group, you would always pick her. She's not so much a lusus as a... as a...

...There's a word for it that isn't in your dictionary... a human word... damn, what was it?

...Fuck... No, not that...

...Hmm...

...Oh yeah.

Not a lusus. A 'mother'.


	59. > Tavros: Confess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok i have no excuse other than that I just plain forgot, like lying awake at night I'd think I should probably update this thing and then the next morning I'd start doing something else entirely.
> 
> Bad news: exams are coming steadily nearer  
> Possible good news: the need to procrastinate + Paradox Space coming out may mean I update more
> 
> Also, I haven't forgotten about Nepeta's quest, just the tiny but in this chapter was a remnant from the old version I didn't see much point in scrapping.

> Tavros: Confess.

AG: Are you seriously telling me th8t th8t criminally delicious 8acon I 8 and h8ve 8een eating nearly every fucking d8y W8S F8KE????????  
AT: uM WELL,,  
AT: yEAH,  
AT: i DO SORT OF, cOMMUE WITH ANIMALS,,,  
AT: i,,, dON'T EAT THEM,  
AT: aT ALL, rEALLY,  
AT: iT'S LIKE WITH, eQUIUS, sORT OF,  
AG: Wh8t the shit, Tavros????????  
AG: I c8nnot 8elieve even you would do that. To me of all trolls.  
AG: I am hurt and horrified.  
AT: uM,  
AG: Although I suppose I'm not too surprised, looking 8ack. You really like f8ke shit don't you!  
AG: 8ut you didn't even have the decncy to warn me 8efore I shoveled that slop into my mouth and you know what???????? Th8t was d8ngerous as fuck, idiot!  
AG: I was injured and you knew it! I could have died!!!!!!!!  
AT: vRISKA, wHAT,  
AG: I could have diiiiiiiied, atoradumb! All 8ecause you g8ve me cheap greasy awful not-even-real F8KE F8KE F8KE meat!  
AT: wELL, i SUPPOSE i AM, sORRY BUT,  
AG: Good!  
AG: Now give me more f8kon. It's delicious.  
AT: ,,,,,,,,

> Nepeta: Continue quest.

You were just about to ask Aradia when Sollux came in and invited her out for a walk. You are now watching them discreetly from the window, realizing that you shouldn't have needed to ask at all. Their matespritship is glaringly obvious.

You turn, and glance back into the room. You've done Tavros and Aradia has left, so Vriska is the only one remaining nearby... Do you dare approach her though? No way are you a coward, but every experienced huntress knows when to keep her distance!

Vriska looks up, and raises one menacing eyebrow at you questioningly.

You don't care what happens, or what anyone says: Vriska Serket is still terrifying troll. Especially after what happened in the dream bubbles! The way that she has been sitting there silently, for about three hours now (although it feels like longer) just tapping away on her husktop, isn't helping matters. It's so sinister! She's probably plotting some diabolical scheme. If anything, you should observe from a distance.

...You decide that you can leave her until a bit later, and quickly go into the nutritionblock instead.  


> Vriska: Have text battle with mystery troll.

Tavros and his f8kon are out of your mind now, and you are just about to engage with another long and doubtless childish wordstrife with some pan-dead cultist asshole, when lo and behold! A  _different_  pan-dead cultist asshole decides he wants to hold a verbal one! Gamzee sidles to get in your way and you'll notice in a moment. It was bound to happen eventually. Have the two of you even spoken directly to each other since this whole crapoodle started? You don't even remember, almost like it's mean several months since you last did anything rather than a few hours. Time sure does fly when you're being driven to the edge of your sanity!

> Have word battle with not-so-mystery troll.

'Watcha doing, sister?' You do not jump, because you are better than that, but you do look up sharply. Gamzee has wandered into the room and managed to get right beside you without you noticing. Damn. How does he do that?? You need to pick up your mind control again -- then you can maybe make him tell you.

‘What do you want, Gamzee?’ you say smoothly, with a light toss of your gloriously-tangled-as-ever hair. Nothing unusual here...

'You been staring at that screen for hours now, a brother's gonna get his wondering on as to what his sister's motherfuckin’ up to.' He doesn't sound hostile, but slightly wary. You don't blame him, exactly –- it's been an intense few days -- but you preferred him when he was scared of you and didn't do this sort of thing. Maybe he needs a reminder. Gamzee was almost cute before.

'Talking to a jerk,' you reply, which is true. 'Or a number of jerks, actually. This is the latest, before you.' Gamzee ignores the obvious barb and attempts to peer at the screen. You turn your husktop away because oh hell know, this is _your_ business, even if you aren't actually talking to anyone at the moment but  _Gamzee_ doesn't need to know that. He tries to look again. You turn the husktop again. Gamzee growls threateningly. You narrow your eyes at him. The move has zero effect! God, is he blind as well as stupid? You're terrifying when you do that! Time to end this quickly -- it isn't nearly as fun as you'd hoped.

'Leave me alone or I'm calling Karkat,' you say, adding the appropriate amount of icy malice. 'Or Kanaya.' While you’d like to have fun, you also have shit to do, and it's getting clear that this freak isn't worth your truly invaluable time. Gamzee's eyes narrow too.  _Oh, it's on!_

'You wouldn't.'

You shake back you hair, making your horns obvious. 'I would.'

The staring match goes on. Purple vs. blue. The silence stretches on, tense as a... really tense thing. Shut up, voice of reason, you refuse to be the first to blink.

Abruptly, Gamzee backs down, turning away and stalking from the room. While unexpected it was... wise of him, you guess. Gamzee's weird like that -- you can never tell whether he's being dumb on purpose. Maybe he's been leading you this whole time! What a bastard. But whatever's going on, this crap is far from over. You wonder if you can start something up. Nothing serious obviously, but you need  _something_ to kill time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It struck be several months late that Tavros probably eats less meat than Equius so here we go.
> 
> On the Nepetaquest front, it looks like she'll be asking Gamzee next. Still open to suggestions though - as a firm believer in democracy I will follow the vote.
> 
> Also, 'crapoodle' is a play on 'caboodle'.


	60. > Feferi: Wander.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i literally forget to update so actually, reminders aren't a bad thing to give me
> 
> atm i am just picking-and-choosing what to include, and skipping quite a few bits, so the story could be considerably shorter than how it was originally. thankfully i'm mostly cutting out the unnecessary parts. an the joys of introspection.

> Feferi: Wander.

You are upset. You're not going to deny it. You're really not over Sollux yet, and even though he was so kind and you're moirails now, his rejection was still like a needle to the vascular system.

So you wander, trying to think it over, attempting to sort out the mess of your emotions. You probably just need time. After all, out of so many lives, this isn't the first time it's happened. You can't talk to Sollux when you're still not sure what you feel about him. That would only make it worse...

From further down the hallway, you think you can hear the clinking of metal. Curious, you cautiously follow the sound. You don't think it's the sound of another make-out. And you sincerely hope that it isn't. But at least they've had the decency to close the door if it is.

You hover outside for a while, listening. It doesn't sound like a make-out, though what it is, you're not sure: the are odd clinks and scratches that you you haven’t often heard before. Hesitantly, and wondering if you'll regret it, you knock on the door.

The sounds abruptly stop. You lick your lips nervously, hard hovering by the handle, wondering whether to open the door or wait for the person inside to speak.

'Who is it?' The voice is deep and strong and unmistakably Equius'. You relax slightly. He's probably working on something and doesn't want to be disturbed... that makes you feel a little lonely, but it's better than walking in on more sloppiness.

'Um, Feferi,' you reply. 'Can I come in?' His response is instantaneous.

'Of course, your highness.' That... doesn't exactly fill you with confidence. It sounds far more as if he's required to invite you in than that he actually wants to talk to you. Come to think of it, he does seem to be following the casting system more these days... even more than usual, which is saying something.

But you let yourself in the close the door behind you.

Equius immediately stands, bowing his head, and you smile and wave your hand until he sits back down again. You're not used to these formalities and you don't like them. You hope this wasn't a mistake. You can see this being so awkward but you've already missed your chance to leave.

Equius is kneeling on the floor, bits of metal strewn all over the place and varying sizes of wrenches and screwdrivers and tools you can't identify laid out neatly on a small table. Equius is making... something that isn't complete enough to be recognizable yet. You pull up a chair and watch, hoping you aren't making him too uncomfortable. But he seems pretty relaxed.

'Vantas... advised that I do my work upstairs, out of the way,' he says, breaking the silence. It occurs to you that while he does not look uncomfortable, on the inside he might be squirming with embarrassment.

'Yeah, that's probably sensible,' you say, hoping that keeping the silence broken will stop it from getting too awkward. 'What are you making, if you don't mind me asking?'

'I am further experimenting with biomechanics,' he replies at once, a hint of pride entering his voice. 'Nitram will soon have outgrown his current prosthetic limbs, and I am working on a way to make his new ones lighter and more flexible.'

'That's neat!' you say, because it really is. Technology isn't your thing – well, you do live underwater – and it's always baffled you a bit, but robo-prosthetics seem like a good thing to be making. You still intend to change the culling laws, that is still a thing you want to do. With technology like this, you can at least make a start! Less culling will happen if there are fewer trolls slated to be culled.

'I am flattered, my lady,' Equius rumbles in reply, obviously very pleased and blushing slightly blue.

'You're welcome!' you say, before adding gently, 'and please, just call me Feferi!' He seems to struggle with himself for a moment, blue flush creeping steadily up his neck. 'Or Miss. Peixes, if you're more comfortable with that,' you add quickly.

'Very well, Miss. Peixes,' he says, obviously far more comfortable now. You smile, even though he can't see you, and sit back in your chair.

'Do you mind telling me about what you're making?' you ask. 'If it's not distracting.'

'I would be happy to tell you,' he says truthfully, and you feel relieved. Equius starts to talk, and you do listen at first... but a lot of it is very technical and goes completely over your head. You find yourself thinking about Sollux again, and the sadness creeps back in. You'll get over, you know you will... but it still hurts.

'...tubes in which hydraulics and... Miss. Peixes?' You jump at the sound of you name. Equius is facing you, expression curious. You quickly hitch the smile back onto your face.

'Sorry!' you giggle. It sounds forced even to your own ears. 'I guess I just dozed off there! I'm still quite tired!' You know you haven't fooled up though.

'...You seem... sad,' Equius says awkwardly. You drop the smile because it's pointless.

'Yeah, I am a bit,' you admit, looking at the floor. 'Sollux...' You don't want to say "rejected me". It sounds far too harsh. '...isn't my matesprit,' you say instead, glumly.

'I am sorry to hear that,' Equius says, earnestly. You're not positive, but you think Aradia turned him down a few nights ago. He... he understands.

'It's fine, really!' you say, smiling again. But it feels forced. 'Please, don't let me distract you!' You sit and smile until he turns away. When he eventually does, you hang your head and bite your lip. You don't want him to see this, but you don't want to be alone, either.

You hear the creaking of metal, but ignore it. You don't want to distract him. But then he turns again, and you look up to assure him you're fine, really, and...

...And he's holding out a metal flower.

Silently you take it, staring at it in awe. The stem is a strip of steel, curled round to make a tube. Two leaves, one at the top and one at the bottom, complete with vein marks etched into the metal, poke out from the overlap. The flower head itself is like a rose, delicate sheets of metal curved over at the edges to dull the biting sides.

The petals aren't perfect, don't have smooth, precise curves, but somehow, that makes it even more beautiful. The steel has many scratches because it was obviously intended to be used for something else, but that only makes you love it more. It was crafted in under ten minutes and it is one of the most amazing things you have ever held.

'Thank you,' you whisper, revolving it slowly in your hand. It is perfect in every way. 'Equius, it's beautiful.' You look at him, smiling for real now, and he is smiling back, cheeks blue with pride.

'You are most welcome... Feferi.'

> Aradia: Walk and Wonder.

The sea is pretty beneath the two moons, sparkling green and pink. You and Sollux walk side-by-side, holding hands. It's quiet and peaceful, reminding you of the earlier days of your courtship, when the drones were nothing but nightmares in your childish minds.

But it isn't like that anymore, and although you have (thank heaven) not yet hit the pheromones, your body is still changing, as is his. And you're still both unsure of your feelings. Ending it with Equius was painful, even if it was necessary. You know that Sollux was close to Feferi and that she still probably has some very un-pale feelings for him, so him going to her for advice about it would just be cruel.

It's hard being a kid and growing up. It's hard but, well... at least you're all going through it at the same time. So most of you do understand.

'Do you think they're alright?' Sollux suddenly breaks the silence, and you look up at him in surprise. His head is tilted towards the sky, and you are suddenly struck by a horrible pang of sadness when you realize that you can no longer see it. It's so clear out here, too, every star visible against a canvas of black.

You had told that the both of you could reach them, once. And he had harshly replied that that would only be possible if he were a Helmsman and you were a slave.

'Who're alright?' you ask. He looks slightly startled, as if he hadn't realized he'd spoken out loud, and turn his head to face you.

'The humans,' he explains. 'Sorry. I was just... thinking about them...' He trails off. Nobody talks about the alien kids much, mostly because certain members of your group got very close to some of them and the memories can be painful. 'I mean,' Sollux continues, 'did they go back to their world, or did they go into a new universe, or... what?' You think about it for a moment. Neither of you were among those on the meteor, so talking about the humans isn't so painful. All it really does is bring back less than pleasant memories about the game, and they are easily pushed aside.

'I think,' you say carefully, 'that wherever they are... they are happy and are doing well.' Sollux smiles. You realize that it is one of the few times he has smiled since you first met up with him again at Gamzee's hive.

'Yeah,' he replies. 'That's what I was thinking too.'

The warm, sentimental silence lasts for a few moments; not quite long enough for you neck to get sore as you gaze aimlessly upwards. Then you remember why you wanted Sollux out here in the first place, and turn to look at him seriously.

'I need to talk to you about something,' you say. 'It probably involves reality itself.'

'...Oh,' he replies, shoulders slumping as he looks at you. 'I hate that topic.'

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has an [askblog.](http://adolescenceaskblog.tumblr.com/)
> 
> I have done a [short minific for Rose](http://adolescenceaskblog.tumblr.com/post/56178859939/you-seem-curious-about-the-kids-and-i-dont-blame/). I might do the other kids some time.


End file.
